Fandom: Kingdom Hearts Main Pairing: Riku X Sora

--This is technically AU and therefore some of the characters are a bit different, sorry but it is necessary.

--If you honestly think it is exceeding the rating M and therefore should not be on please tell me before you go off and do something unnecessary. The rest please enjoy and leave a review please.

Disclaimer:I do not own Kingdom Hearts. All rights are reserved by there separate owners. On the other hand, this plot is all mine and Hiroshi is my character as well.

Warning:This fiction contains mature themes such as sex, violence, language, and hate. If you can't handle these themes, I suggest you leave. Yaoi a.k.a men having sexual relationships with other men, is a main part in this fic once again if this bothers you then please remove yourself.

The topics addressed and the views portrayed in this story do NOT reflect those of the authoress. She has only set out to portray the views of the hateful people that she sees in life. The authoress is sorry if any words or comments offend anyone but she hopes you can see why she felt the need to put them in.

Pushing You Away:Part I

"Sora," Riku whispered coming up behind the brunet. The silver haired man wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist pulling the other's fragile body against his own.

"Riku," Sora said happily. "I haven't seen you in months. Where have you been?" The man asked turning around to face his long time friend.

"Sorry about that, I've been out on the island building the new dock. They didn't expect it to take as long as it did. So how have you been?" Riku questioned staring intently at his friend. It had only been just over three months but some how he seemed different.

"Well," Sora began but was interrupted. Riku leaned in and slid his muscled arms around him pulling the surprised brunet into a hug. "Umm, Riku." The man stammered.

"I missed you Sora and you have changed. I can't tell how exactly but I can see it. I know I should have said something but the job came up unexpectedly and if I didn't take it someone else would have. You know how that is." The silver haired man explained pulling the other closer. Sora wrapped his arms around Riku, returning the hug. Nuzzling into the elder man's neck Sora inhaled the sweet salty smell that always accompanied Riku.

How I've missed that scent. Sora thought with a sigh.

"Goodness he hasn't been gone that long." A harsh voice said as the owner approached the embracing men. The two quickly pulled away from each other and turned to their visitor. "I wondered what was keeping you." The shrill voice had come from a pretty woman. However, to say beautiful would be a bit much. Said woman's hair was a brown red that seemed to glow in the sun light. She wore a Pink shirt that was perfect at giving the illusion of showing a lot without actually doing it and a pair of plain jeans. Her large feet were sheathed in pink shoes that poked out from bottom of her tight pant legs. Over all the out fit was modern and gave away nothing of the super conservative Christian that she was.

"Kairi look Riku is back." Sora exclaimed watching the girl for a reaction to what she had seen.

"I guess the job my father told you about has been finished. What a shame; anyway, Sora if you are finished here I was hoping you would come have dinner with my family and I," Kairi announced smiling sweetly at the two men.

"Sure just let me say goodnight to Riku and then I'll head on over." The brunet agreed and turned back to Riku.

The red head's smile wilted around the edges but her voice betrayed nothing as she said, "All right then see you in a few." With that, she reluctantly turned and headed back from whence she came.

"You and Kairi are an item?" Riku asked skeptically.

"Yeah she asked me out just after you left." Sora said looking away as pink bled into his cheeks.

"She has had her eye on you for some time now. Wonder why she doesn't like me," He said dryly. Sora turned back to him a shocked look now covering his face.

"I'm sure it's not that she doesn't like you she's probably just cranky."

"Yeah cranky, well I guess you have to be going. Look I should have asked this a long time ago but I guess now is better than never, you do realize that I see you as more than a friend right? I would never take it further if you didn't want to but I can't deny how I feel." Riku leaned in placing a chaste kiss on Sora's cheek before walking past him.

Did he know that? Yeah, the two had not so subtly flirted ever since puberty so why did having it said aloud make it so much more real, more unacceptable. Sora's sky blue gaze stared intently at where his friend had been standing not so long ago.

What now? He thought. Kairi will be furious if she ever finds out that Riku has homosexual feelings for me. Sora's throat tightened as he stared up the hill towards where Kairi and her family were now preparing for a nice family dinner. What if she already knows? The man sighed and fought the ever-growing pain in his chest as he headed toward Kairi's house. Heavy feet seemed to make the trip harder than it had ever been.

"What if I have to choose?" He mused stepping up to the door of his destination. "What if I have to choose between Kairi and Riku?"

"What about Riku?" Kairi asked opening the door; a warm smile decorated her face as she led Sora to the den claiming that dinner wouldn't be ready for a while now. Kairi sat down in a high back chair and crossed her legs.

"Do you want to discus something?" Sora asked noticing the suddenly stern look that took over his girlfriend's face.

"As a matter of fact I do, Sora you know that I have very strong feelings for you and all the things I have told you are true but I really need something to be cleared up if we are to get serious. You and Riku are just friends right?" The royal blue gaze of his inquisitor bore into him as he concentrated on the lines carved into his hands. Sora opened his mouth quite a few times only to close it again a second later.

Finally, he decided on an adequate answer, "Riku and I have been friends since childhood. We've been there for each other through every thing and he is the only person I trust one hundred percent but I don't think there is anything more between us." Sora sighed then nodded as if reassuring himself that it was in fact the truth.

"Really Sora? You seemed fairly cuddly down by the beach," the red head reminded.

"I haven't seen him in more than two months that's all. Honestly Kairi I'm not gay and Riku is my friend nothing more." The brunet smiled and went to his girl friend. Leaning down he kissed her lightly on the forehead.

Homosexuality is an abomination in the eyes of God. I can't be gay. My family, my friends they would all be hurt if I were so I can't be, I just can't. Sora thought as he smiled down at Kairi.

"Come on I'm sure my parents are wondering where we ran off to." Kairi stood slipping her hand into Sora's and gently pulled him off towards the kitchen.

"So Kairi tells me that friend of yours has returned from his job over on the island. You're not going to let that get in the way of your relationship with my daughter are you?" Hiroshi, Kairi's father, questioned firmly as he dug into the pile of food that graced his plate.

"No sir, I'm sure that is not going to be a problem. Riku and I are adults now and know the importance of work and relationships, I'm sure he won't mind taking a backseat." Sora smiled as he said it but cringed mentally.

Can I really do this to Riku? He wondered.

"Great, now Sora I have a nice little opening in my company that I was hoping you would be willing to fill. Shipbuilding is big business here on Destiny Island and I'm sure you would be able to build yourself a great future; what do you say?" Hiroshi asked watching Sora keenly as he cut his steak and shoved it into his mouth. Swallowing hard under the scrutinizing gaze Sora allowed his face to flush slightly.

"Oh now look you have embarrassed the boy. Hiro don't you think you should allow him a while to think it over, maybe discuss it with his parents?" Yuffie chimed in. Kairi's mother and father looked like total opposites yet they seemed to fit together like pieces to a puzzle. Hiroshi was short and round with auburn hair scattered across his balding head as well as carpeting his chin. He is quiet, reserved, but not a push over while his wife was thin and petite. Yuffie was a firecracker and always willing to tell you how she felt about something. Watching the two as they agreed that her idea was valid made Sora think that maybe love was all that one needed to be happy. Maybe if you loved each other everyone would see that and just agree that you were meant to be, no matter what.

The thought was fleeting how ever because with all of the important talk out of the way Hiroshi decided to tell the family about how some little fag and his bitch came into the store looking for a boat. He laughed saying that he put those fairies in their places and informed them that they had better enjoy life now because an eternity of pain will be waiting for them. Sora's eyes widened as he heard how Hiroshi spoke so coldly about these specific customers.

"Sora are you okay? You've stopped eating." Kairi said looking over at her boyfriend.

"Is something wrong?" Yuffie asked worriedly but didn't wait for the answer before she turned to her husband angrily. "You see Hiro, that is not polite dinner conversation and I won't tolerate it any more. What the queers do should have no affect on our meal," she turned her attention back to Sora, "I'm sorry if that talk bothered you. I don't like hearing those things either." Yuffie smiled as if everything was set right for the moment, but Sora still feeling uneasy stood up and pushed in his chair.

"Now, now Yuffie Sora is a man and men need to be able to put people like that in their place," Hiroshi announced.

"Honestly it is this heat; it has taken my appetite from me so if I may excuse myself I think I'll head on home." Sora managed to fake a smiled as he waited to be excused.

"Whatever you need boy as long as you can meet me down at my shop bright and early tomorrow. We need to discuss this position in more detail." Hiroshi said not even trying to make Sora feel as if leaving was okay.

"All the more reason to call it a night, I'll see you tomorrow then." With that, Sora turned and left. Once out the door the man took of in a sprint towards the beach. The sun had long since gone down and the full moon had just begun to clime into the sky. Sora ran, his legs burning with fatigue as he finally reached the beach. With no one in sight Sora let go, he fell to his knees and pushed his forehead into the sand.

"I hate this!" He screamed. The anger that had been growing unbeknownst to him was released in one short sentence. Tears flowed freely down the young man's face as he struggled to form a coherent thought.

Why am I so confused? Why am I so angry? Why? He screamed mentally, balling his fists in the sand. Yesterday everything was fine. Yesterday I was positive Kairi was the one I was meant to be with, so why? Why does Riku's return and confession change everything?

A hand on his back brought Sora back to reality and the brunet turned quickly to see who had touched him. His heart pounded loudly in his ears, as time seemed to move slower that normal. Silver hair reflected the moonlight perfectly as aqua eyes searched Sora's startled face.

"Why are you trying to be something you're not?" Riku asked as he reached to cup Sora's cheek.

"What do you mean 'something I'm not'?" The younger man asked defiantly. Riku let his hand fall as Sora continued. "Riku, Kairi is a nice girl and I'm ready to have a steady relationship with someone. I'm going to be working with her father soon, too. I've made myself a fairly secure life while you were gone and now," the brunet paused. He looked up at his longtime friend, observing how Riku's hair swept along his jaw and how his Caribbean blue eyes seemed to draw a person in until it was impossible to look away.

"And now," Riku pushed as he noticed how Sora stared at him as if the man was bespelled. As if on cue, Sora looked away and pushed himself to his feet. He brushed hurriedly at the sand that clung to his knees and thighs then turned to leave.

"I really need to get going. I'm sure Kairi will call and to make sure I made it home safely and if I'm not there to answer she'll think the worst."

Riku hugged Sora from behind, molding his body against the younger man's.

"Would the worst be that you're with me Sora?" Riku sighed and shook his head, "Why do I get the feeling you're running away from me? Why are you hiding all these things?" Riku whispered his breath caressing Sora's neck eliciting an involuntary gasp from the brunet.

"Riku," Sora moaned pulling away. "I'm not hiding anything from you and I'm definitely not running away." Sora turned and looked at his friend sternly.

"It isn't what you are hiding from me Sora, it's what you are hiding from yourself. For a while now you've done your best to keep your distance from me especially when Kairi is around. How can you truly believe you aren't hiding things Sora?" Riku said taking a step towards the brunet.

"Riku please," Sora said putting a hand up as if to ward off a blow.

"We've been friends since we were kids Sora. We know each other better than anyone; I know how you feel about me." Riku took Sora's outstretched hand and used it to pull the brunet towards him. Soft lips pressed lightly on Sora's as Riku raised his hand to cup younger man's chin and keep their lips pressed together.

After a few tense seconds, Sora finally relented; allowing himself to sink into the kiss. His body sagged against Riku's; the silver haired man now had complete control. Riku ran his hands down Sora's back, stopping just above the brunet's plump ass before he pulled their bodies closer. Riku was surprised to feel Sora's hardness teasing against his body and ground his groin against the brunet's urging him to grow even harder. Gripping Riku's shirt Sora pushed their bodies together again, not wanting the sensation to fade.

A soft moan escaped Sora's mouth as Riku continued to grind and kiss the younger man simultaneously. A tongue slid between partially opened lips and began to search the cavity, tasting every inch. Sora moaned enjoying the thought of Riku's tongue touching him in other places.

"Riku..." Sora whispered as the older man broke the kiss for a brief breathing break. In response, Riku slid his hands under Sora's shirt and kissed him again.

Sora broke the kiss. "Riku stop!" The silver haired man stopped, slowly pulling his hands away.

"What is it?" He asked puzzled.

Sora stepped back and looked away, "it...it's wrong."

"It's wrong!" Riku exclaimed shocked. He looked at his friend with disbelief. "Sora," Riku said reaching a pale hand towards Sora but the brunet only stepped out of reach. Sora's sky blue eyes rose to meet Riku's pain filled gaze.

"Wrong," Riku mused. "Is it wrong for my body to react to you the way it does? Is it wrong for you to want my touch?" Riku asked. After a moment of silence, he moved towards Sora, anger plain on his face. Staggered by the emotion so obvious in his friend's features Sora barely managed to avoid Riku's grasp by jumping backwards.

"Tell me you don't really think that Sora." The man in question just looked down. "When did this idea get in your head? Was it that whore who said something or maybe it was her hateful father? You were never one to follow the crowd so why do it now?" After another moment of silence, Riku added, "then I guess you think it is wrong for me to love you, don't you?" With that said, the silver haired man turned and left.

Sora watched as Riku stalked off.

It iswrong. He reminded himself; everyone says it is even God damns it but if that's true then why is it so painful to let him go? Why does watching him walk away make me feel so empty inside? Shaking off the questions Sora walked tiredly back to his home looking forward to the emptiness of sleep.

"Kairi!" Sora exclaimed his eyes automatically roamed across the figure that graced his couch. Her thin frame longed seductively covered by a short pink skirt and a matching pink blouse that buttoned nicely up the front. Laying on her side the skirt rested high up on her thigh almost revealing the very thing it fought to conceal.

"What's going on, it's late and you never said you were going to come over," Sora asked.

"You are later then I thought you would be. Where were you?" Kairi asked stretching her legs out more completely ignoring the man's question. As Sora watched he was surprised to find his body reacting.

Maybe it is a phase and I don't really like Riku. Maybe it is just from him being gone so long. Sora thought happily before answering the question posed by Kairi.

"I was at the beach. I wanted to figure out how I could impress your father tomorrow that's all." I wasn't a complete lie. He had thought about doing just that only when he had reached the beach things just gotten a little out of hand.

"Silly, you don't have to do anything but be yourself to impress my father and hereI thought you had gone to see Riku." Kairi announced watching her boyfriend closely as she added, "you know Sora I don't think Riku likes me very much, I think he is jealous of our relationship."

"No Kairi that isn't the case at all. He just hasn't spent any time with me recently, you know with his work at the island and all. He is just feels a little left out; he's definitely not jealous." Sora explained rather quickly. Realizing she didn't believe him Sora made his way over to the couch. Smiling he knelt down and took his girlfriend's hand.

Kairi shook her head lightly from side to side. "I can't stand the thought of losing you, I can't bare it." She pause licking her lips, "do you know what else I can't bare Sora?"

The brunet shook his head NO, even though he had an idea. Kairi had always been promiscuous. She initiated the kisses, arranged all their alone time, and constantly pushed for their relationship to go to the next level, a level that until now, Sora didn't want to approach.

"I can't stand waiting to have you any more Sora," Kairi said before rolling onto her back pulling her hand away from Sora's. She watched him knowingly as she slowly unbuttoned her blouse revealing a lacy black bra that covered tight A-cup breasts. "We have committed to each other haven't we Sora? I love you and you love me, that's all we need." Kairi whispered the last as she slowly slid her legs apart.

Sora watched the whole thing hungrily as his member twitched at the thought of being plunged into the warmth of her body. He stood, his hands moving to his pants button but paused as Riku entered his mind.

"Sora be a real man and make love to me." Kairi said reaching for and unfastening the restraining button on Sora's jeans.

A/N: Well I hadn't planed for this to be more than one part but at over
3 thousand words and seven pages, I think that it is better this way.
Please review! I love to hear what you all thing of my work!

Part 2 should be done and subsequently will be posted soon. Thank you. Lonely

R&R.