This parody is based on the film "The Shining" (I have yet to read the book ) and the Simpsons parody. Hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I don't own FHFIF and the Shining.
Guest Appearance: Fellow fanfic author/friend/boyfriend Tsukiryoushi
The Shining... Shinning... Whatever...
One Tuesday afternoon, the Foster's Bus is traveling through a twisty road on the mountains. Inside, Frankie Foster is in the driver's seat. Behind her, Mac is looking at the scenery outside, Eduardo is knitting a pink sweater, Wilt is watching the road, and Bloo is reading a book with a bored expression on his face.
"Well, it was a long trip, but we're almost there," Frankie spoke up.
"Frankie, did you remember to tell Mr. Herriman and Madame Foster where we're going?" Wilt asked.
"D'oh!" Frankie groans.
Mac suddenly gasps. "Oh no! We left Coco back at the gas station!"
"What about Coco?" Bloo asked in a bored voice.
"Senorita Frankie, where are we going again?" asked a very hyper Eduardo.
"I told you many times, Ed, someone hired me to look after this house for one winter so I decided to bring you guys along for company," Frankie said.
Bloo rolled his eyes with boredom, "Booooring! Where are we anyway? Florida?"
"Colorado," Frankie corrects the blue imaginary friends.
"Aww, but I wanna go to Disney World!" Bloo whines.
A few hours later, they came to a big, creepy-looking mansion lodge. As everyone hop out of the bus, an ugly yellow man wearing a suit came out of the house and greeted them.
"Hello, my name is Mr. Snurb; you must be the new housekeepers. Please, come in," he said with a sinister expression. "Follow me and I will give you a tour of the house."
Mr. Snurb began to walk away. Frankie, Wilt, Mac, Bloo, and Eduardo looked at each other and shrugged, and they followed the old man.
Mr. Snurb takes the gang on a tour of the lodge, down a hall with axes mounted all along the wall.
"This house has quite a long and colorful history," Mr. Snurb told them. "It was build on an ancient Indian burial ground and was the setting of satanic rituals, witch-burnings, and five John Denver Christmas specials."
"Ohh, John Denver," Bloo growls, looking revolted.
They group stop in front of the elevator, which opens and disgorges a river of blood.
"Hmm, that's odd… usually the blood goes off the second floor," Mr. Snurb said quietly.
Frankie, Wilt and Eduardo's eyes widened.
"Usually?" They questioned at the same time.
Outside, Mac had been checking out the hedge maze and when he saw someone watering one part of it.
"Hey, excuse me?" Mac calls out walking up to him.
Upon closer inspection, the person he called out too looks like a rabbit wearing a top hat, a black suit, and a monocle. He reminds Mac of someone, yet he is wearing overalls over his suit and a red wig under his top hat.
"Mr. Herriman, is that you?" Mac asked.
"No, it is I, 'Willie' Herriman," the rabbit spoke up angrily. He is speaking in a crude Scottish accent yet he talks so spoisticated. "I do not this 'Mr. Herriman' you speak of!"
No, no, go easy on the wee one, the rabbit thought. His best friend's going to go crazy and chop 'em all into haggis!
"What's haggis?" Mac asked.
"You read my thoughts!" 'Willie' Herriman gasped. "You've got the Shinning!"
Mac raised his eyebrow. "You mean the 'Shining'?"
"Quiet! You want to get sued?" he hushed him. "Now look… if your best friend goes gaga, you just use that Shinning of yours to call me and I'll come a running. But don't be reading my mind between four and five… That's Willie's time!"
Then he hops away. Mac looks confused.
"That was odd."
A man named Thersmis lifts up two crates of paddleballs onto a truck while Mr. Snurb supervises.
"Yes, by cutting off the paddleball supply, I can ensure an honest, no slacking off, winter's work out of those low-lives," Mr. Snurb said.
"Sir," Thersmis began, "did you ever stop to think that maybe it was doing this that caused the previous caretakers to go insane and murder their families or friends?"
"Hmm, perhaps," Mr. Snurb said thoughtfully. "Tell you what: we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke."
The two then drive off for the winter.
Soon, winter arrived. Inside the mansion, Bloo is looking for a paddleball to play with.
"Hmm, no paddleball here," Bloo said, looking through some desk drawers. "Guess I'll go and check the storage room."
He reaches the storage room and looks around.
"Huh, no paddleball here either and that's where that Snurb guy said that all the paddleballs would be," Bloo said, his eyes twitching.
Frankie ands Wilt came up behind him.
"Wow, Bloo!" Frankie exclaimed.
"Yeah, you're taking this very well," Wilt said cheerfully.
Bloo suddenly spins around towards them, his eyes burning red and yelling crazily, "I'LL KILL YOU, I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"
"Bloo!" Frankie gasped.
"Sorry, sorry," the blue friend said calming down. "Don't worry, there's a lot I can do to keep myself occupied. I think I'll go check out that ax collection." He walked to the door and then, said in a creepy tone, "See you all later…"
After Bloo disappears from their sight, Wilt turns to Frankie.
"Frankie, is Bloo going to go crazy and kill us?" the tall red friend asked her.
"Guess we'll just have to wait and see," Frankie responded. She sounded so calm.
Meanwhile, Eduardo found a tricycle and he was paddling through the long, empty, and silent hallways when he spot identical twin Bendys standing next to each other, smiling deviously at him.
"Come, play with us," the twin Bendys chorused menacingly.
Eduardo gave a frightened yell and paddles away.
"Weirdo," said one of them.
Bloo was sitting on a stool in deserted bar all alone when suddenly; a ghostly figure of Terrence appeared in front of him.
"So, what'll be Bloo-fus?" Terrence asked, wiping a glass with a rag.
"Terrence!" Bloo looked surprised, but then. "Gimme a paddleball."
"Oh, sure I can, but first…" Terrence smiles wickedly. "I won't give it to you unless you kill your friends."
"Why should I kill my friends?" Bloo asked.
"Uh… they'd be much happier as ghosts," Terrence replied.
"You don't look so happy," Bloo said. Terrence blinked then he becomes angry.
"Oh I'm happy. I'm very happy. La, la, la, see?" He then grabbed Bloo and pulls him close to his face. "Now waste your friends and I'll give you a paddleball."
Wilt walked into an empty room, looking for Bloo. "Bloo, are you here?"
He saw a typewriter and a stack of papers sitting on a table.
"What he's written will be a window into his madness," he said.
He
walks over the table and read the papers:
"No paddleball makes
Bloo go crazy. No paddleball makes Bloo go crazy. No paddleball makes
Bloo go crazy. No paddleball makes Bloo go crazy. No paddleball makes
Bloo go crazy. No paddleball makes Bloo go crazy. No paddleball makes
Bloo go crazy. Kiss me, I'm Irish go crazy. No paddleball makes
Bloo go crazy. No paddleball makes Bloo go crazy. No paddleball makes
Bloo go crazy."
"I'm sorry, but this is less encouraging," Wilt said.
The door burst open and Wilt screamed. He turns around to see Bloo looking crazy.
"Well, what do you think, Wilt ol' buddy?" Bloo asked. "All I need is a title. I was thinking along the lines of, 'No paddleball makes Bloo something something."
Wilt gulped. "Go crazy?"
"Don't mind if I do!" the blue blob yelled psychotically. Bloo's eyes turned red, his and he starts making scary faces and sounds.
Wilt screamed. He ran over to a glass case marked 'In case of paddleball-lover insanity, break glass.' He broke the glass and grabbed the baseball bat that was in there. Bloo leaped and tried to get bat, while Wilt swings his only weapon to defend himself.
"Gimme the baseball bat, Wilt!" Bloo screamed, backing him slowly up some stairs.
Wilt swings the bat at him as he continues to ask him for it. Eventually Bloo laughs and calls Wilt a scaredy-cat, making a hideous face. He catch sight of his own hideous face in a nearby mirror and he screamed with fright and he fainted, falling down the stairs.
Wilt carries Bloo's body into the storage room, leaving him there.
"You stay here until you're okay. Is that all right?" Wilt says to the unconscious Bloo. Noticing some cans, he comments, "Hmm...chili would be good tonight."
He takes a couple of cans, walks out, closing the door behind him.
Bloo wakes up and found himself in the storage room full of plenty of food. Feeling like he's in heaven, he began stuffing his face with food.
Then he heard a familiar voice outside the door.
"Bloo? It's Terrence... Uh, look, some of the ghosts and I are a little concerned the project isn't moving forward."
"Can't murder now, eating," Bloo said, between bites.
"Oh, for crying out loud..."
Terrence and some other ghosts came in and drag Bloo out.
"No! Nooo! I wanna eat!" Bloo wails. "NooooOOOOOooooooooo!"
Frankie cooked the chili Wilt gave her, and she, Wilt, Mac, and Eduardo are sitting in the table eating peacefully.
"Has anyone seen Bloo?" Mac asked.
Bloo approached a door with an axe. He chopped a hole through it a yelled, "Heeeeere's Bloo!"
The room was empty.
Bloo groans and he chopped the next door and yells again, "Heeeeere's Johnny!"
A teenaged boy with hazel eyes, who was reading "Eragon" waves at him, "Hi, Johnny! I'm Tsukiryoushi!"
Bloo chopped open another door and sang, "I'm leeeeeeeeaving on a jet plane/don't know when I'll be back agaaaaaaain!"
This time, he was not disappointed.
Frankie, Wilt, Mac, and Eduardo screamed and they ran for their lives. Bloo chased after them.
They went into a room where Frankie tried to call the police only to realize that Bloo somehow cut the phone lines.
"Don't worry guys, I can use my, 'Shinning,' Mac's eyes shift back and forth at this, "to call 'Willie' Herriman."
His eyes went crossed and weird eerie music played as the screen switched to a small cabin close to the mansion.
'Willie' Herriman's eyes widened. "IT'S THAT KID! I MUST SAVE THEM!"
He yelled ran outside while dropping a paddleball on the ground and running to the mansion.
He burst though the door and shouted, "GIVE ME ALL YOU'VE GOT!"
Bloo came out form behind a curtain and stuck the axe on his back. 'Wilie' Herriman coughed and dropped dead on the floor.
"I hope that's a replaceable carpet," Frankie said, when she and the others witnessed the foul deed. And they ran outside.
They
trudged through the snow with Bloo still gaining on them, wielding
his axe.
"Hey! Come back! I just wanna punch you!" he laughed
maniacally.
Mac accidentally tripped and fell into the snow. Coincidentally right in front him, he saw the paddleball that 'Willie' Herriman had dropped earlier.
"I got you now!" Bloo grinned raising the axe…
"Bloo, wait! Look! I found a paddleball!" Mac quickly shoved the paddleball in Bloo's face. Bloo gasps with delight and, no longer insane, takes the paddleball.
"Oh, where have you been in all my life?" Bloo cooed, caressing the toy. He starts playing with it but like always, he cannot hit the ball. "One… one… one…"
Frankie, Wilt, Eduardo, and Mac sighed with relief that their friend is no longer evil.
"What happens here in Oregon, stays here in Oregon," Mac said.
"We're in Colorado," Wilt said.
"Ooh, that's even better!" Eduardo pipes up.
Everyone, except Eduardo and Bloo, rolled their eyes.
Fin.
There! Oh, in case you haven't figured it out "Snurb" and "Thersmis" are anagrams of "Burns" and "Smithers".
Please leave a review, and no flames.