Title: This Day
Summary: LoVe. It's October third again. This day is always hard. Takes place in the fall of what would be their sophomore year at Hearst, everything from the actual series is to be assumed. oneshot. revised.
Disclaimer: Rob Thomas created these characters. I'm just nicer to them then the CW was.
This Day
It had rained that morning. It was a rare occurance for sunny Neptune, California, and it could put a damper on even the best of days.
But for Veronica Mars, this day had been destined to suck anyways.
After one long sigh, she opened her car door and got out. As she walked along, she thought about how fitting the gray sky was for a day like today. The grass was still wet from the earlier rain, making her socks soggy and her toes cold. She barely noticed however, as she walked on.
When she finally stopped, she looked down on the black marble stone.
Lillian Kane
Loving Daugher, Sister, and Friend
A Free Spirit
The tears were brimming her eyes, but they didn't fall. She never cried anymore, the last time being her mental breakdown in the shower over one of her and Logan's breakups.
This was only her second time here. The second time time she visited her best friend's grave. The only other time had been at her burial. She remembered that day as if it were yesterday, the same rush of emotions she felt then taking over her now.
So much had changed since that day.
-----
She watched as Duncan laid the lillies onto the dark oak wood, then stepped back as they lowered the casket into the groud. When she couldn't stand that sight any longer, she burrowed her face into her father's shoulder.
When she felt someone else's hand on her back, she pulled away from her dad in order to collapse into the arms of the only person who truly understood her heartbreak.
She had meant everything to the both of them, and they shared the same pain.
At some point, they broke apart, and as everyone left, she still stood there. If she didn't leave, it would be less final. She wouldn't have to go on living without her.
Suddenly he was there again, holding her hand. They stood there for what seemed like hours, watching as the sun had set, and darkness had fallen.
"Nothing is ever going to be the same," Veronica stated, as if the impact of everything was hitting her for the first time.
Logan looked back at her, his eyes glossy with his own unshed tears. "I know."
-----
Of course, more had changed that day than she could have possibly imagined. Between murders, rapes, and boyfriend troubles, her life had become even more of a soap opera than Lilly's had ever been.
She probably would have been jealous. When they were ten, Lilly had randomly told Veronica one night about how she'd always wished she was a super hero like in the cartoons they watched on the Saturday mornings after their sleepovers. Though Veronica's super sleuthing abilities couldn't exactly be classified as superhero powers, Lilly would have thought them close enough.
And then there was Logan. She'd always liked the drama of an off-and-on-again relationship, playing him along for her own amusement. But their relationship had lacked the raw hurt, desire, and even love that encompassed the relationship between Veronica and Logan now.
And suddenly, she could feel him there. It was a few seconds before he arrived beside her, but she could feel his gaze burning into her back as he approached.
They both stood for a while, neither acknowledging the other, only continued staring at the black marble headstone.
It was him that finally broke the silence. "Fancy meeting you here," he stated.
While normally a quip like that would be accompanied by a smirk and a chuckle, this one wasn't. His voice was solemn and reluctant, as if he couldn't decide whether it would be a conversation or the silence which would cause her to break.
She didn't, wouldn't, couldn't look at him, afraid the raw pain of everything, not just Lilly, would be easy for read in her eyes. He'd always been able to do that, and though sometimes Veronica appreciated this, other times it just made everything even harder.
"Today has just been hard," she finally choked out.
Logan's gaze shifted towards her, as if trying to read her expression as she continued to gaze at the headstone.
"This day is always hard."
There was another long silence.
"So... Wallace told me about what happened with Piz," he offered as a change of subject. His own gaze had now returned to the headstone. He didn't clarify what he meant, but Veronica knew. If Logan hadn't personally witnessed her very public break up with Piz in the Hearst cafeteria, then the news was bound to reach him at some point anyways.
When Veronica spoke next, her voice was soft and defeated, and Logan realized this was probably the most vulnerable that he had ever seen her.
"I just... I was thinking about Lilly and all of a sudden, realized how much of a standstill my life has been in the past few months. Like I've shut all emotion out and all of a sudden the dam is broken and its all flooding back in. It was too overwhelming."
She didn't know what exactly had inspired this word vomit, this admittance that everything in her life was not completely fine. All she knew was she felt better having said it. A weight had been lifted.
"I know. Its like noone else can even begin to feel, or even understand, your pain," he stated, his voice barely an octave hight than her own.
"But you do," Veronica answered. "You do."
As silence swept over them again, it was different. It wasn't anything even remotely close to acceptance, but there was less desperation filling the air. She no longer felt suffocated by it.
When his hand slipped into hers, her eyes left the grave for the first time. She looked down at their hands, clasped together tightly.
There had been certain times in their lives that holding hands had been second nature, just something done as they walked along together, completely content with one another.
There had also been times in which the simple gesture had meant much more. That day at Lilly's funeral, and the time Logan had announced to everyone that Veronica was his girlfriend, then offered her his hand. Their hands had been clasped together the first time they made love, joined at the exact moment in which their bodies had to full extent.
Veronica's gaze returned to Lilly's headstone, but she didn't drop his hand. Her grip tightened around him to the point where Logan wondered if she would ever let go.
She wasn't planning on it.
A/N: this was my first fanfic, so please let me know what you think! fan videos have always been more my thing, but I had so many ideas jumbled up in my head I just couldn't help myself.. This was a oneshot, but I've got a few more that I'll be posting soon, and the descriptions to those and a link to my youtube account are in my profile. thanks again and please review! )