Happy brithday, Itachi!!!!!
It all started one particular mission. Kisame had just dispatched of several very strong shinobi, and was naturally a bit exhausted. Itachi happened to notice something unusual: His mouth. Well, his lips, more accurately.
'What do they feel like?' he wondered, watching them part as Kisame panted and gasped for air. 'Are they rough, like the rest of his skin?' Itachi only knew that his skin was rough from a few accidental yet casual touches on the hand and upper arm. But what about a normally very soft part of the body? Was it still rough? Itachi didn't know, and he figured that he could either kiss Kisame, or just touch his lips with his hand or something. Neither seemed easy without an excuse. So naturally, the question evolved to: How do I come up with an excuse to feel Kisame's lips? This was Itachi's train of thought one morning in the Akatsuki base.
Attempt A: "Kiss It Better?"
If there was one thing Itachi remembered from his childhood, it was how his mother used to coddle him for the most diminutive of injuries. Mikoto's favorite motherly cure was to kiss whatever was hurting. But could he convince his partner?
That morning, he awoke before Kisame. Taking his kunai, he glanced out the window. Kisame awoke at sunrise, every day, no exceptions. Itachi had but a few minutes. The dull tip of the old kunai traced a scratchy red line, very shallow, like a cat scratch, along him upper arm. He placed a few shorter, lighter scratches parallel to it, to resemble an animal scratch. Itachi placed the kunai by his bed, quickly falling into an utter stillness. His plan was to feign sleep until Kisame awoke. The shark stirred at the first sign of light streaming through his window. Not long after, the sound of his shifting entered Itachi's ears. He sat up in bed.
"Ki—Kisame? You awake?" he asked groggily, silently thanking Kami for being such a convincing liar.
"Hai. Give me a minute, Itachi-san, I need to put a shirt on…"
"Uh, never mind that. Could you come take a look at this?"
"What is it, Itachi-san?"
"I've a mysterious scratch."
Kisame walked over to Itachi's bedside, where the Uchiha still lay. He knelt, concerned.
"Where?"
"Right here."
Itachi rubbed the fresh stinging scratches on his upper arm, which seeped little blood.
"Oh, I don't think you should worry. You probably got scraped on a tree. I'll get you a bandage, but I don't think you'll need it."
"I agree, Kisame. But—there is one thing you could do to help?"
"What's that, Itachi-san?"
"Will you, um, kiss it better?"
Needless to say, Kisame was rather disturbed. Neither of them spoke of the events that transpired there, and Itachi's mission to discover the feeling of his lips was unfulfilled.
Attempt B: "You Have A Little—"
Later that day, at breakfast, Itachi was struck with another idea. In every cheesy romance he had ever been exposed to, there was always a scene in which somebody, somewhere wiped food off of another's face. Naturally, he would try to apply this to Kisame. It all made perfect sense at the time, at least from his standpoint.
So, there he sat, surrounded by 'The Zombie Twins', his own partner (who sat next to him), and of course, Deidara and Sasori. Itachi ate slowly and sparingly. There were no missions assigned for today. There were plenty of opportunities to satisfy this little itching curiosity of his. The Uchiha watched Kisame stealthily out of the corners of his eyes. The shark man ate ravenously. His time would come soon. A smirk slid onto Itachi's face as he tuned out the surrounding banter of the other members. There was a small speck, almost invisible to the naked eye, of peanut butter. Right on Kisame's lower lip, dead center. He caught his partner's attention with a childish tug on the sleeve.
"Ah, Itachi-san. Do you need something?"
"You have a little—"
Itachi gestured to the corner of Kisame's mouth. Kisame, naturally, missed.
"I'll get it…" Itachi offered seductively. The table grew silent. Kisame licked his lips, ridding himself of the spot.
"I think I got it. Never mind, Itachi-san."
The generally awkward aura settled in like a thick fog.
Attempt C: "I think I love you!"
Itachi sat out the rest of the day lazily, feeling dejected and out of ideas. His ink-black eyes drooped with the dry heat that surrounded him. The field just outside of base, their "front yard", so to speak, was nearly sweltering, but under the thick shade of a tree, it was perfect for an afternoon nap.
"What else can I do?" he mumbled to himself, allowing his back to slip against the rough bark.
"Do what now?"
Itachi opened his eyes, glaring coldly at the figure in front of him.
"Hidan, I swear to your god, I will dismember…"
"Easy, easy…"
Hidan grinned, reminding Itachi of that cat from Alice and Wonderland.
'Oh yeah, the Cheshire cat, or something…'
"What do you want?"
Itachi wasted no time piddling around with meaningless questions.
"Maybe I can help? You sound like you have a problem to be solved."
"Fine. Since I know that if I try to hide it from you, you'll bug me until your immortality wears out, I'll just spare myself the time: I want to know what Kisame's lips feel like."
"Like, you want to make out with him, or you wonder because of the rest of his skin?
"The latter."
"Then combine the two. Just kiss him."
Hidan jogged off to play in the sun, just like a child.
"Tard." Itachi mumbled. It didn't seem to be worth it. Although, the more he thought about it, the less ludicrous it seemed. Maybe he should just kiss him. But where was he?
Itachi reluctantly pulled himself from the grass.
"Kisame?"
The shark responded nonchalantly, just a simple syllable. Apparently, he had been napping in the tree just above Itachi. His head spun with the idea that Kisame could have discovered his little endeavor during the conversation with Hidan. From the looks of it, however, he had been asleep. As Itachi stared up at his rousing partner, he couldn't help but notice how incredibly attractive he looked with his hair down and his cloak off. Not that Itachi was that way, of course not. It was simply the heat that made him short of breath.
Kisame landed softly before him, his lean, muscular frame slanted with relaxation.
"You need anything, Itachi-san?"
Itachi gulped; now or never. Summoning all the courage he had, Itachi moved closer to the shark, his hands trembling with sudden anxiety. He leaned up until they were nose to nose, and then, with a final burst of courage, brushed his lips against Kisame's chastely. A tingle shot through his body, particularly his lower back. Kisame's lips were only slightly rough, more like 'chapped'.
"Th-there." Itachi murmured, pulling back quickly. His eyes kept to the ground.
"Itachi-san?"
"H-hai?"
"You call that a kiss?"
Itachi looked up in shock. Kisame drew him in quickly, his palms placed flat around the small of Itachi's back. He purposely pushed the small hollow. Itachi arched. His lips brushed Kisame's more firmly, and he was sealed against the larger man. Slowly, Itachi found the courage to place his arms around Kisame's, hugging his shoulders. The world spun and slowed around him. This was definitely worth it.