Special thanks to Ciu Sune, for making me break down and write what I felt like writing.

Author Notes: This fic is part of my Gmen series. You don't have to be familiar with the series to read this fic - just know that this is an "alternate universe" setting vaguely crossed with the original X-men animated series. That's mutant powers in the modern world instead of ninja jutsu in a demony ancient world. If you are familiar with the Gmen-verse, this fic takes place sometime between Embracing Dreams and Gmen.

I wanted to play with NaruSasu and this universe was the first one that came to mind. This is a humorous and slightly smutty point-what-point fic. I might add more explicit pwp chapters if I get the urge to mess with these guys again, but for now it's a one-shot sidefic.

Summary: Naruto and Sasuke need a vacation, and Kakashi knows the perfect place.

Warnings: PWP, NaruSasu lime, alcohol, humor, Kyuubi (he gets his own warning), with references to toys and bondage

Pairings: NarutoxSasuke, implied KakaIru, KyuubixSasuke, SasuNaru
Author: Arigatomina
Homepage: www . arigatomina . com

-

The Black Sweet

-

An unmarked car picked them up at the airport. Naruto exclaimed in surprise and he spent the entire ride in wonder, offering random apologies for all of the recent insults he'd sent at Kakashi. Sasuke's eyes narrowed and he spent the entire ride brooding, making explicit promises of pain the next time he laid eyes on Kakashi.

It was supposed to be a vacation for the two of them. The house had gotten crowded to the point where Iruka had no choice but to open the back wing. That meant a lot of noise and work fixing the rooms so they'd be inhabitable. With their recent increase in funds, he'd decided to hire actual professionals for the job. And with all the noise and mess, he'd found temporary homes for the kids so they wouldn't get underfoot and prolong the renovations.

Naruto had protested from the very start. The back wing of the house literally was the backside of the house. He didn't see why they all had to move out while it was being fixed up. And even if he had agreed to the need, he definitely didn't agree to the way they were all being separated. Most of the kids, the girls especially, would be staying with Caldina at the club. There were plenty of rooms there and she'd jumped at the chance to play mother to a handful of parentless children. The more dangerous boys, namely Gaara, had been placed with Hiko, since he had the best chance of controlling them well enough to keep his home from being destroyed. Shino and Neiji had declined the offer to stay with any of Iruka's friends and opted to rent hotel rooms for the duration. They took the rest of the stubborn ones with them.

That was when Kakashi had proposed joint vacations. He'd been trying to find an excuse to take Iruka on a trip for months, claiming that he had his own friends he wanted to introduce him to. This was his opportunity. And to keep Iruka happy, he'd offered to send their boys on a vacation as well. They were sixteen, after all, and Iruka had been wondering when Naruto would 'break out on his own' and jaunt off to explore the world. Kakashi knew just the place for exploration.

Sasuke had known it was a trick from the start. Of course it was. It was Kakashi. He'd known something perverted and evil was being planned and he'd firmly refused to go. Then Naruto had given him that look. The surprised, hurt look, as if he'd just been denied his first vacation ever, by the one person he'd been sure was on his side. Sasuke had ignored him as long as possible. In the end it came down to joining Naruto and suffering whatever Kakashi had arranged for the two of them, or joining Kakashi himself. It wasn't a difficult decision. Perverted sneaky plans could be changed, Kakashi couldn't be.

The car let them out at what appeared to be a rather large hotel. The lack of a sign out front proclaiming the name of the place was their third clue that something was up. The unmarked car had been the second clue, the first being that Kakashi had arranged everything.

Sasuke glared at the bellhop who met them outside and tried to take their bags. The man was dressed normally enough in a tidy black suit, but his silver nametag had a number on it - 016 - and nothing else. Sasuke had spent years living in hotels with Kakashi. He knew numbered name tags were not normal.

Naruto glared at the bellhop as well. The guy was way too old to be looking at Sasuke like that. Then the man turned to him and Naruto's glare faltered into a twitch. The guy was way too old to be looking at him like that, too. Naruto had only stayed in one or two hotels, but he was pretty sure bag-carrying guys weren't supposed to grin at guests that way. Especially male underaged guests.

"Welcome to The Inn," the guy said, grinning wider as he looked from one glaring boy to the other. "If you'll follow me, I'll show you to your room."

"How do you know who we are?" Naruto protested. "You didn't even ask our names..."

"All of our cars are numbered, we get the call as soon as our guests are picked up." The man led them into an oddly empty lobby and straight through to the elevator. Once inside, he resumed smiling at them. "You've reserved The Black Suite for the duration of your stay. If there's anything you need, I'll be your server. Just dial star zero one six to contact me."

Naruto shot a confused look at Sasuke. He promptly winced. Sasuke was glaring at a blank spot across the elevator, his hands in fists at his sides, and his jaw tense from how tightly he was clenching his teeth. So much for a fun vacation for two. Naruto glared at the smiling guy again. It was definitely his fault. Were hotel guys supposed to follow them all the way to their rooms?

The elevator opened onto an long hall and they followed the annoying grinning man out. A man and a woman slipped past them and into the elevator. Sasuke suffered a single moment of doubt at spotting a female in this place. Maybe it wasn't what he suspected. Kakashi did have a lot more experience traveling than he did. Maybe strange hotels like this were more common than Sasuke knew. Maybe it was only bad luck that their escort was a grinning imbecile. It was possible. Very unlikely, though.

The man stopped outside a dark door with a rectangular plate of solid black where the numbers should have been and handed Naruto a card. "And here you are. Your catalogues are right beside the phone. Please be sure to read the prices before ordering. The meals included in your package will be delivered promptly following the schedule given in the catalogue. If there's anything you need," and he grinned particularly long at Naruto, "anything at all, just call me. Enjoy your stay."

Sasuke snatched the card from Naruto and was already disappearing into the hotel room by the time the grinning man turned away. Naruto hurried in after him.

"What a freak," Naruto grumbled, locking the door behind him. He turned and stopped in surprise. And awe. "Whoa."

The room was huge, a wide flatscreen television set into the wall, curtains in the corner around what he assumed was a bed, and doors. Multiple. One was probably a bathroom. One might be a second room. He couldn't even guess what the other three were for.

"Are hotel rooms usually this big?" Naruto asked. He turned to look at Sasuke, who was standing by a glass table just to the left of the door. Sasuke didn't so much as glance around.

"Hey," Naruto frowned, walking over to him. "I asked if the rooms are supposed to be this big. You're the one who was living in hotels, right? What are you looking at?"

Sasuke dropped the laminated book he'd been holding. "The catalogue," he said, in an absolutely monotone voice. His expression was just as blank. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Naruto's eyes widened and he edged out of the way. The last time he'd seen Sasuke look like that, he'd almost bled to death. He'd healed fast enough to survive, but he wasn't eager to test his luck a second time. "Why sick? Catalogue for what?"

"Excuse me," Sasuke said quietly. He went to the door that should have led to the bathroom, opened it, stared for a good ten seconds, and closed it again without going in. He then slid down to sit on the carpeted floor with his back against the door.

Naruto glanced from the book Sasuke had been holding, over to the pale defeated boy sitting across the room from him. After a moment of indecision, he grabbed the catalogue and went over to sit against the wall, too, close but not too close to Sasuke. Then he opened the book. His eyes widened and a blush started to work its way over his face. He didn't even notice the way Sasuke twitched.

Sasuke folded his arms tightly and closed his eyes so he wouldn't catch so much as a glimpse of that book. He'd thought the illustrations in Kakashi's porn novels were graphic. It had never occurred to him that lifeless objects could be just as disturbing. He certainly hadn't expected anything bathroom-related to be perverted. That just wasn't right. He'd barely looked into the room and he'd spotted six of the items listed in the catalogue. If those were the complimentary freebies, he didn't want to know what was offered in the back of that book.

Naruto let out a muffled choking sound and squirmed noisily. Sasuke ventured a look at him and paled abruptly. Naruto was reading the catalogue. His face was bright red, and he didn't look the least bit comfortable, but his eyes were wide and he was staring at the photographs as if he couldn't look away. Sasuke shot a hand out and took the book from him.

"Don't even think it," Sasuke hissed.

Naruto jumped and blushed darker still. "I wasn't! It's just..." His eyes went to the black book in Sasuke's hand. He didn't realize he was staring until Sasuke took a step back and hid the book behind his back.

"Stop it," Sasuke said sharply. He could feel nervous tingles starting on the back of his neck. As if he'd just been cornered by a powerful, and very perverted, enemy. "What would you even want with...things...like that?"

"I was just looking," Naruto blurted defensively. "Most of that stuff's already here, so we might as well know where it is before we open the wrong drawer and run into it by accident."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed and Naruto glowered back at him.

"Besides," Naruto scoffed, getting up and walking over to the phone. He grabbed the second catalogue and waved it at Sasuke. "It's not like we haven't done it already. A few toys aren't that big a deal. Kyuubi thinks it's hilarious."

"Kyuubi is a pervert," Sasuke said sharply, still glaring. "What's your excuse?"

"I'm a teenager," Naruto snorted. "Ever heard of hormones?"

He thumbed through the catalogue and stopped on one page in particular. His blush was back, but this time it was combined with a grin. He caught Sasuke's eye and turned the page so he was sure to see the photograph. "This is what's behind those curtains over there. How can you not find that funny?"

The illustration was big enough that Sasuke couldn't help but see it. His eyes widened and he turned on his heel. He stalked over and ripped the black curtain back. Sure enough, it was the oversized bed featured in the illustration. Sasuke stared at the dangling...attachments. There was no way in hell that thing was intended for sleep.

A hand ghosted over his shoulder, followed by an arm, and Sasuke went rigid. It took all of his focus not to attack. There was no way. No way in hell. Absolutely not.

Naruto pulled Sasuke closer so they were standing side by side in front of that ridiculous bed. "Oh, come on," he wheedled, grinning at the padded restraints decorating the bed, and laughing at Sasuke's mortified expression. "It's funny," he said, waving his free hand at the sight. "It's not a big deal. It's just bondage stuff."

"Not a big deal?" Sasuke repeated, in a deceptively calm tone. "We are in a sex hotel. Surrounded by...equipment designed solely to entertain perverts. Kakashi sent us here. We are now stuck here for the next week. How is that not a big deal?"

Naruto sighed and leaned his head to the side so their temples were touching. "It's not a big deal because it's just us. I'll help you kill Kakashi when we get back, if it really bothers you that much. But, you know, once you have sex with someone you're not allowed to be a prude anymore."

Sasuke glared at that. "I'll kill him myself. And I am not a prude."

"No," Naruto agreed cheekily, "you're really not. Anyone who can do what you do with your mouth without so much as a blush is definitely not a prude." Sasuke immediately shoved him away with a furious blush on his face. Naruto snickered. "You just turn into a prude anytime someone talks about sex in front of you."

Sasuke moved a safe distance away from that perverted mockery of a bed and sent Naruto a seething glare. "If you even think about-"

"I think I'm hungry," Naruto interrupted. "Iruka-sensei said not to order room service because it'll go on Kakashi's credit card. What do you say we order some room service?"

Sasuke blinked. That was a very clever idea. It almost worked as a distraction, too. There was no way Naruto had thought of it. His eyes narrowed again and he snorted at Naruto's eager-to-please smile. "Kyuubi better not think it, either," he warned. Then he went over to the television and sat down on the overly soft couch. He pretended not to notice that it had attachments as well. "Order me something expensive."

"Got it!" Naruto grinned. "I know just what to get!"

.-.

"Gagh, this is gross!" Naruto grimaced. He immediately grinned and shoved the glass in Sasuke's direction. "Try that. It's got tomato juice in it."

"It's called a Bloody Mary," Sasuke informed him, with a cool look of disdain. He might have appeared more superior and collected if he hadn't been lying on his stomach with his bare feet kicking the air behind him. "Vodka and tomato juice. You followed the instructions in the book to make it, so you should at least remember the name. And it isn't gross."

"Says the guy who actually likes tomatoes," Naruto scoffed.

He hopped off the floor and went back to the bar. They'd found it behind the second mystery door after eating their fill of overly expensive room service food. Well, technically Naruto had found it. Sasuke had refused to even look into the room until Naruto assured him it didn't contain any especially traumatizing sexual devices. Kyuubi warned him not to mention the real use of that hammock-like swing in the corner of the room. Or the interestingly shaped crystal...statuary...on the shelf to their left. And he'd pushed the...bicycle...backwards into a corner before letting Sasuke enter the room. What Sasuke didn't know, he couldn't freak out about.

"Did you see a bottle called grenadine?" Naruto asked, glancing up from the book he'd been using.

Sasuke activated his sharingan, looked over the bottles, and pointed at a red one in the refrigerated display case. "There."

"Cool," Naruto grinned. "You know, just this one bottle costs as much as those edible panties. Crazy, huh?"

Sasuke gave a very slow blink. His eyebrow twitched once. Twice. Then he wrinkled his nose. "Edible panties?"

"Yep," Naruto nodded. "They have a whole section of edible stuff in that book. They even have real sized hard candy dildos - lemon flavor. I can't tell if that's supposed to sound yummy or painful. Sticky, you know?"

He grabbed the bottle of cherry flavoring and went back to the bar. Sasuke was giving him a slightly queasy look. Naruto blinked and squinted back at him. "What?"

"Nevermind," Sasuke grimaced. "I don't want to know."

Naruto frowned at him for a moment before going back to his mixing.

'He probably doesn't know what a dildo is,' Kyuubi commented, in a sly, very amused tone.

Naruto's head shot up and he stared at Sasuke in disbelief. Sasuke was too involved in taste testing Naruto's liquid creations to notice.

'You're kidding,' Naruto murmured to Kyuubi. 'How can anyone my age not know what a dildo is?'

'The same way he didn't know how to use a lawnmower,' Kyuubi shrugged. 'Or the microwave. He's clueless enough about normal things, of course he'd be even worse about sexual things. He still hasn't gone into the bathroom...'

Naruto grinned at that. He'd gone into the bathroom while they were waiting for the food. The bondage motif that had been so evident in the bed was a thousand times worse in the bathroom. It was especially bad around the very large sunken tub. Kyuubi said that was practical, having the plastic-covered chains set up over the drain for those who preferred a little blood with their bondage. Naruto had taken one look and laughed himself sick. It was no wonder Sasuke had refused to enter. Even someone as prudish as him had to recognize the purpose of the whips and the porcelain mount set to the side of the tub.

'Think I could get away with taking some pictures of his expression when the alcohol kicks in and he has to go in there?' Naruto smirked.

'Maybe,' Kyuubi said, 'but he'll probably destroy the camera the second you finish taking the picture. Assuming he doesn't attempt to kill you first.'

'I don't know,' Naruto drawled, glancing over at Sasuke, who was looking younger and more relaxed than he'd ever seen him. 'He's been in a pretty good mood since we came in here. Admit it, the alcohol idea was great.'

'Fine,' Kyuubi glowered, 'it was a great idea. Assuming you won't succumb to guilt once you realize how unfair it is to drug him into having sex with you.'

Naruto scowled a little and went back to the drink he was trying to mix. 'Don't start with the fairness thing. We're never fair. He won't even do anything unless I beat him first, and he always makes me do stupid stuff like clean the room when he beats me. If we were fair about it, I'd just tell him I was in the mood and he'd tell me if he was or not and that'd be it. We're always competing. This isn't any different.'

'Except you aren't susceptible to alcohol, thanks to me,' Kyuubi pointed out, 'while he is. And you knew that before you mixed the first drink.'

'What are you saying?' Naruto glared. 'That I shouldn't try anything?'

Kyuubi snorted, 'Of course not. Just that you should admit you're being underhanded from the start. I completely support you being underhanded. We should have introduced toys months ago. Then maybe you'd have had sex more than four times since getting together.'

'Five times,' Naruto snapped. 'I don't care if I was bottom or not, it still counts. It was good, too. Just because you went and slept through it like a stubborn moron doesn't mean it didn't happen. Do you have any idea how hard it was to convince him to even try it?'

'We have different stances on that,' Kyuubi sniffed. 'I don't see the point in encouraging your partner to dominate you when you have enough trouble getting him to be submissive in the first place. He already has all the control in this relationship. I will never understand why you would willingly give him even more control.'

'Yeah, yeah,' Naruto sighed, rolling his eyes. 'Foxes don't bottom, I remember. I still say it was just as good. It's nice having proof that he wanted me for once, instead of it always being the other way around. It's not like he has a normal libido, you know.'

'He has one,' Kyuubi smirked, 'he just doesn't have our stamina.'

Naruto snorted in amusement. 'Now that's a fact.' He glanced up in time to find red eyes glaring at him from across the room. 'Uh-oh...'

"Stop talking about me," Sasuke said coldly.

'Busted,' Naruto winced. 'How does he always know?'

'We have a very clever mate,' Kyuubi said, as if he were complimenting them rather than Sasuke.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and dropped his chin onto his hands. "Are you done with that one, yet?"

"What?" Naruto blinked. He sent a startled look at the empty containers sitting around Sasuke. "You drank them all?"

"I don't mind maxing out Kakashi's card," said Sasuke, "but I refuse to waste the things we buy."

"Oh."

"Are you finished?" Sasuke asked again.

"Oh," Naruto jumped, glancing down at the little pitcher he'd used for this one. "I think so. It's mostly pineapple juice, though. I used too much of the orange juice in that other one."

Sasuke watched him expectantly, and Naruto gave him a considering look. He didn't appear to be drunk, but he'd definitely downed more alcohol than he probably should have. Naruto grinned and waved a hand at the counter.

"Why don't you come over here," said Naruto. "I wanna make sure you can still walk straight."

"Idiot," Sasuke snorted. He got up as quickly as ever and immediately tilted sideways with wide, surprised, eyes.

Naruto laughed, "I knew it. It's alcohol, moron. You don't just guzzle that stuff down like it's juice."

Sasuke gave him a narrow-eyed glare that would have been more intimidating if he hadn't been sporting an alcohol induced blush. "You don't seem to have that problem," he pointed out. "Interesting. Isn't it."

"Good point," Naruto grinned, his laugh a little more nervous this time. "Must be that whole immediate healing thing. Just consider alcohol a toxin and it makes sense, I guess."

Sasuke continued to stare at him for a long moment. Then he sunk back down again. His expression softened into a bored glower. "I already know the point of this, usuratonkachi. Did you really think I wouldn't notice how eager you were to have me drink? You wanted me drunk so you'd have a better chance convincing me to let you use those disgusting...things...out there."

Naruto's face twisted in annoyance. It figured that Sasuke would see right through his great plan. What he didn't get was why Sasuke had gone along with it, anyway. "So why did you drink so much, then?"

"Because," Sasuke said slowly, as if explaining to a very small child. "If we fight here we will destroy this room and possibly the entire building. Even Kakashi's card won't be enough to pay for that. Also, I will have to use the bathroom at some point in the near future and I prefer not to be sober when that happens."

Naruto stared for a moment and then laughed until he was leaning on the bar for support. "It's all about the bathroom! So what were you planning to do when it's time to sleep? That couch has straps, too, you know."

Sasuke snorted and started sorting through the empty containers sitting around him, looking for any leftovers. "I trust you enough not to try anything while I'm unconscious," he said dismissively. "Even if I managed to refrain from killing you out of instinct the second I woke up, I would certainly kill you intentionally once I realized what you'd done."

"Good point," Naruto muttered sullenly. He grabbed some glasses and brought the little pitcher over to Sasuke. And he regretted it when Sasuke immediately took the pitcher itself to drink from. "You aren't planning to get so drunk you pass out, are you?"

"Maybe," said Sasuke. He shot a knowing look at Naruto. "My coordination is already shot. You'd have no trouble pinning me right now. Why should I take the chance of starting a fight I can't win?"

"Because it'll be fun!" Naruto said quickly. His face twisted into a pleading pout. "Think about it. If I do anything you really don't like, you know I'll stop. There's no point if you don't like it, too. And it's not like we can't do it without fighting once in a while. Just while we're here? It's a vacation, right? Please, please, please?"

Sasuke leveled a cool, if slightly tipsy stare on him and raised an eyebrow. "Is begging supposed to convince me?"

"No," Naruto sniffled, doing his very best to look hopeful and unwanted and very cute. "Begging plus alcohol plus vacation is supposed to convince you. Isn't it working? It wouldn't hurt to try, right? Just a little...?"

"How little?" demanded Sasuke.

"A very little," Naruto said quickly. "You're drunk, so it's not like you'd stay awake all night, anyway, right? Cause you know I'll stop immediately if you pass out, even if it's at a really awkward time."

Sasuke snorted with a wry smirk. "You'd deserve that."

"Sure I would," Naruto agreed, keeping his eyeroll in his mind where Sasuke couldn't see it. "And that's why I said just a little."

Sasuke tipped the pitcher back and scowled when nothing met his mouth. He set it back down. Then he shot another suspicious look at Naruto. "Just you?"

Naruto fidgeted uncomfortably. "Well, I guess this time, maybe..."

'Do that and I'm taking over the second you fall asleep,' Kyuubi glared. 'You might not be able to jump him when he's unconscious, but I have no such problem. By the time I finish you won't have to worry about pinning him in a match. He won't be able to walk for the rest of the week.'

'Come on, Kyuubi,' Naruto winced. 'It doesn't really matter, does it? If I can get him to try something and he likes it, he won't be so quick to argue the next time. Right? He really has drunk a lot, so he probably won't stay awake long enough for both of us, anyway. It's not like you don't feel it whether I'm in charge or not.'

'...only if I get to finish,' Kyuubi glared.

Naruto's wince turned into a grimace. 'Promise you won't scratch him. He's got enough scars without us adding more. And no biting? It took forever to heal last time, and his whole shoulder was sore for days.'

'There's no point finishing if I can't mark him,' Kyuubi growled, his tails lashing in frustration. 'Just forget it. I'll deal with him on my own terms. He's clearly forgotten who he belongs to.'

Naruto jumped at that and closed his eyes tight so he could get into a real face to face talk. 'Don't talk like that,' he growled back at the stubborn asshole fox. 'He doesn't belong to you - if he belongs to any one person, it's me. Us or me, that's it. You're the one who told me we don't hurt our mate, so stop acting like you want to punish him for not putting out. Start that shit and he won't have anything to do with either of us. And I won't blame him for it, either! Stop threatening him.'

'It's not a threat,' Kyuubi glared back, 'it's a promise. He knows it. He knows me better than you do when it comes to that.'

Sasuke gave a long suffering sigh and smacked Naruto over the back of the head. He then glowered at the dazed look he was given. "Stop fighting over me," he muttered. "It's annoying. I'm going to try going into that bathroom without being sick. If either of you follows me, I'll kill you both. You can try convincing me again when I'm finished."

Naruto blinked quickly and followed Sasuke out of the room. He did it without thinking. Sasuke was not the least bit steady on his feet and he looked like he could easily trip and fall face first any second now.

Sasuke stopped the concerned stalking at the door. "What part of follow and I kill you is difficult to understand, usuratonkachi? Stay."

"I'm not a dog!" Naruto glowered.

"Stay," Sasuke repeated, as if he hadn't even spoken. "If I'm not out in an hour, assume I've passed out and feel free to leave me there for the night." He took a few steps across the wide main room and then stopped to shoot a dangerous glare over his shoulder.

Naruto stopped following and let out an exasperated sigh. "Stay, stay, stay," he muttered. "I got it. Teme."

"Good boy," Sasuke said, with a completely straight face.

.-.

Naruto started exploring the second Sasuke was out of sight. The first place he went was that long drawer set along the underside of the bed. The catalogue had listed all of the items held there, but some things had to be touched to be believed.

'Is that physically possible?' Naruto wondered, staring in fascinated disbelief at the 'super-sized' item that had been advertised for 'experts only' in the book.

'Definitely,' Kyuubi hummed back. He was practically shivering at the very thought.

Naruto reached tentatively to touch the item in question. 'But it's hard, too. Wouldn't that hurt?'

'Definitely,' Kyuubi said again, a growl joining the shivering.

'Figures,' Naruto snorted. 'You're a sadist on top of being a pervert.'

He set the shelf containing the jumbo prize to the side and lifted some of the smaller items in the box below. There were fifteen of them and he couldn't figure out how anyone using the room could possibly need so many.

'You think they rent the place out to groups or something?' Naruto asked. 'Or maybe it's so you don't have to use the same one twice. The book said they were waterproof, but maybe they make their staff do that stuff. Oh, gross, can you imagine working in a place like this and having to clean this stuff?'

'Take a few of them,' Kyuubi said, before Naruto could put the top shelf back.

Naruto blinked. 'Seriously? He's probably going to pass out in there, you know. And I don't really see how these would be useful with guys.'

'Trust me,' Kyuubi drawled. 'Get a few. They're small enough to fit in your pocket. Anything he sees, he's going to tense up over.'

'Good point,' Naruto allowed. 'He's really twitchy about this stuff.' He grinned when he set the top shelf back. 'Can you imagine how much he'd freak out if he saw this thing? Even if he's never seen a dildo, he'd have to know what it's for. He'd have a heart attack.'

'That's because it's as big as your arm,' Kyuubi sniffed, sounding wistful and horny at the same time. 'He's just not ready for that. Not yet, anyway.'

'Of course not,' Naruto scoffed. "I'm not ready for something like that and I wouldn't even be on the receiving end.'

Kyuubi gave a demeaning snort, 'Unless you let him top you again while we're here. Keep in mind that anything you use on him, he could very well try to use on you.'

Naruto stared at the ridiculously large dildo and all of the color drained out of his face. 'Right,' he thought shakily. 'That's a really good point. Little stuff, then, fun stuff, stuff I wouldn't mind him using right back on me. That's only fair, and the whole point is to make him interested in trying more next time. Not that there's much chance of him wanting to take the lead, since he doesn't even wanna do anything to start with, but, yeah, better safe than sorry. Considerate. Yeah, it's the considerate way to do it. I'll just keep it simple this time, don't wanna freak him out or anything...'

'Coward,' Kyuubi smirked. He started to say something else, but paused instead, his head tilted and ears raised. He abruptly urged Naruto to close the drawer and get the torture devices, or pleasure implements, out of sight. 'He's coming out.'

'Are you sure?' Naruto blurted. He closed the drawer and took up an antsy seat on the arm of the couch.

'Either that or he's trying to disappear down the drain along with the bathwater,' Kyuubi drawled. 'I wouldn't put it past him.'

'Yeah,' Naruto sighed. 'I really don't get that. He enjoys it, too, so what's the big deal? He acts like there's something wrong with liking it.'

'It's a matter of control,' Kyuubi glowered. 'He wants all of it all the time. So long as you won't make a move without his okay, he's in control. When he enjoys himself, he thinks it's a loss of control. He doesn't understand that if he willingly relinquishes control, he's still ultimately in control because he chose to do so. He's difficult. No one ever explained anything to him and he won't listen to anything involving sex from us, so there's nothing we can do about it.'

'Almost makes me wish Iruka-sensei had given him "The Talk",' Naruto laughed. "Can you see that? They'd both be blushing and sputtering.'

'I'm just glad he didn't get the one of those 'talks' from the pervert,' Kyuubi admitted. 'Better he be skittish and reluctant than the alternative.'

'Don't even think about that,' Naruto said quickly, with a disgusted and angry grimace. 'The pervert already touches him way too much.'

Sasuke looked tired when he came out of the bathroom. Those chains over the tub had mocked him and taunted him and made him queasy the entire time he was in there. He couldn't even count all of the gruesome things he was going to do to Kakashi before he finally allowed the man to die. The worst part was that despite the trauma of being stuck using the room with those instruments in plain sight, he still felt slightly interested in Naruto's request. Not to use the things, just the promise of warmth and skin. He wasn't comfortable being intimate, it didn't feel safe, but it was one of those addictive things he kept going back to anyway, like fighting someone he knew was stronger just because he could. Because even if it didn't feel safe, he knew it was. At least with Naruto. Kyuubi was an entirely different matter and Sasuke simply didn't feel up to that in this disturbing place filled with instruments that screamed forced submission. If Kyuubi tried to force him into anything he would snap, they would fight, and it wasn't fair for Naruto to get caught in the middle of them.

Sasuke walked over to where Naruto was sitting on the arm of the couch and stopped right in front of him. He moved an arm over his shoulder until his fingers threaded in his thick blonde hair. Naruto was staring up at him in surprise. Sasuke returned the look with half-lidded eyes for just a moment. Then he leaned down to press a firm kiss to the corner of Naruto's mouth.

Naruto shivered and moved tentative hands to Sasuke's shoulders. Was he planning to take the lead after all? Warm kisses trailed down his jaw, and then there were teeth nipping at his neck, a moist tongue lapping at the already healing marks.

"Naruto..."

Just the way he said his name was enough to make those aforementioned hormones flare to life. He could count on one hand the number of times Sasuke had said his name in that tone. Naruto's hands tightened and he pulled more of Sasuke up against him. He was wearing a bathrobe, a silky smooth black bathrobe Naruto could feel sliding under his hands. It was the sort of thing he should have noticed immediately, but thoughts had a tendency to go away on the rare occasions that Sasuke kissed him first. Not a prude, not a prude, definitely not a prude. Teeth tugged on his earlobe, followed immediately by a hot flicking tongue.

"Sasuke," Naruto groaned, not sure if he was complaining or pleading.

"Just you," Sasuke murmured into his ear, whisper soft. "You, together, or not at all." And he pulled back so he could look Naruto in the eye. He didn't want to stop. He didn't think Naruto would make him stop. But he would stop if he had to. He gave Naruto a steady look and shifted against him, just a bit. "Okay...?"

"Okay," Naruto said, without a moment's hesitation. Sasuke gave him one of those rare ghost of a smiles that was more eyes than lips and then they were kissing, and Kyuubi was pouting and muttering in his head, and Naruto didn't give a flying fuck if the fox liked it or not.

'You're such a bottom,' Kyuubi muttered sullenly.

'If that's how he wants it,' Naruto murmured, talking more to himself than Kyuubi. 'I want him to want it...'

He had a hand in Sasuke's hair, his tongue was in his mouth, and Sasuke was kissing him back with those confident sweeps and brushes of his tongue that made Naruto want to be inside there so much he wouldn't have thought twice about begging. Naruto wanted to have sex with him right now and he didn't care who was where as long as Sasuke was kissing him like this. But Sasuke wasn't taking the lead, and his shoulders were stiff beneath Naruto's hands. He was always so tense from beginning to end. Naruto knew Sasuke couldn't help it, but that made it impossible to rush into anything without hurting him.

His hands slipped down to cup Sasuke's backside and he pulled him closer until they were flush against each other. The silken material slid freely over warm muscle and skin. Naruto groaned as he realized Sasuke wasn't wearing a thing under that thin little robe. He started to pull the cloth up, and Sasuke pushed away from him so abruptly he almost fell of the couch.

"I take nothing off unless you do the same," Sasuke reminded him, in a soft tone that wasn't nearly as annoyed as he meant it to sound. He went over to sit on the edge of the couch and waited, watching Naruto expectantly. He gave a small smirk when the blonde grumbled and quickly stripped his shirt off.

"I forgot," Naruto explained, scowling and pouting at the same time. It wasn't his fault he kept forgetting. It was Sasuke's fault for kissing him that way that made it nearly impossible to think at all. And it wasn't as if he blamed Sasuke for not wanting to be the only one naked. It was just that the thought of a naked Sasuke made it hard to remember if he still had his own clothes on or not. He stripped everything off and then grinned at the way Sasuke closed his eyes for a long moment before looking right at him.

"Better?" Naruto grinned.

"It could be worse," Sasuke allowed.

Naruto scowled playfully and shoved him back on the couch. Not too long ago a move like that would have ruined the mood completely, and probably gotten him a black eye or worse. Sasuke didn't do more than get a tad tenser and raise an eyebrow at him. That eyebrow twitched when Naruto straddled him and pushed the robe off his shoulders so it caught on his arms, effectively pinning them to his sides.

"Don't," Sasuke said sharply. Naruto pulled back in surprise. Sasuke stared at the blank television across the way for a long moment of silence. Then he forced himself to meet Naruto's confused eyes. An embarrassed and uncomfortable blush dusted over his face and he scowled. "Don't restrain me," he explained, in a quiet but dangerous tone. "If you even reach for one of those straps, I'll break your jaw."

"What?" Naruto blurted, straightening up even more. Sasuke was glaring at him as if he were angry, but he looked more uncomfortable than anything. Defensive, even. Cornered. And he hadn't been this tense since the first time Naruto had kissed him. Naruto glanced at the straps attached to the couch, just a few inches above Sasuke's head. Sasuke followed his gaze and gave a nervous twitch. Naruto's eyes widened as he made the connection.

"You moron," Naruto gaped, a relieved smile breaking slowly over his face. He ignored the way Sasuke flinched furiously at the unexpected insult. "You're such a stupid moron," he said, with a small laugh. "Did you think I was gonna tie you up? I don't have a death wish, teme. I'm not saying it wouldn't be hot if you were interested in it, because, yeah, that would definitely be hot. But I already know you'd hate that. I wouldn't do something I know you'll hate. What's the point if you don't like it?"

Sasuke looked away with a disgruntled expression. Naruto watched him, his teasing smile fading away as he made a few more connections. Sasuke still didn't trust him. Not really. Sasuke had trouble just letting people touch him, forget the sort of things he let Naruto do to him. Tying him up would be driving him right back into that corner where he instinctively lashed out at anyone who came too close. And he'd thought Naruto would do that to him? Worse than that, he hadn't even wanted Kyuubi involved.

Naruto leaned down so he could see Sasuke's averted eyes. His tone was sober and worried, and more disappointed than anything. "Are you afraid of Kyuubi...?"

"No," Sasuke snapped, turning an angry and insulted look on him. "Of course not."

"Good," Naruto said quietly. "Because Kyuubi wouldn't tie you up, either, Sasuke. He's stubborn and rough and stupid sometimes, but he doesn't want you to be afraid of him."

"I'm not," Sasuke growled, really glaring now. "I never was. I just don't want to accidentally kill you because you did something stupid."

"Good," Naruto said again. He gave a guileless smile and tugged Sasuke up high enough so he could pull the robe off his arms. The he pushed him back down and nuzzled his neck. He wouldn't do anything else until Sasuke calmed down enough to touch him back. Snuggling with skin on skin made the waiting worthwhile.

'Stupid emotional twitchy mate,' Kyuubi grumbled sullenly.

Naruto didn't give him much sympathy. 'Just be glad he didn't hear you talking about 'reminding him who he belongs to' earlier. I'd rather have him trust me and withhold sex all the time, than have him put out because he's afraid of us.'

'I didn't mean tying him up and breaking his spirit,' Kyuubi said defensively. 'He wouldn't be him without the fire.'

'Yeah,' Naruto glowered. 'So remember that the next time you get all frustrated and impatient. There are lots of ways to hurt someone besides physical pain. And you're clumsy as hell when it comes to the emotional stuff.' Kyuubi curled into a defensive angry ball, not bothering to deny that. Naruto offered him one tiny reassurance, 'At least he's not afraid of us, he's just afraid of himself.' Then he focused on the sound of Sasuke's heart beating into his ear. His pulse was still a little too fast. Naruto rubbed his cheek against the warm skin and reached a hand up so he could curl his fingers in the velvety hair just behind Sasuke's neck.

Sasuke sighed after a while and frowned at the top of that blonde head. "Naruto. If you aren't going to do anything, get off. Don't fall asleep like that."

"Wasn't planning to sleep," Naruto pouted, shifting his hips just enough to let Sasuke know he wasn't any less in the mood now than he'd been a few minutes ago. That earned him a quiet intake of breath, rather like a hiss. Naruto pushed up high enough to see Sasuke's face. "Are you mad?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I'm tired," he muttered, "and you're ruining the mood. Either hurry up and do something or get the hell off me."

"Oh, sure," Naruto scoffed, "and I'm the one ruining the mood here."

Sasuke glowered and made to shove him off the couch. Naruto ducked down and attacked his mouth before he could finish the gesture. He doubted he was anywhere near as good at kissing as Sasuke was, but Sasuke never complained so he did it as often as possible. He'd barely pushed his tongue into Sasuke's hot mouth before arms moved around him, one hand burying itself carefully in his hair. Naruto immediately teased and taunted until Sasuke's grip tightened and he took over the kiss. Top or bottom aside, when it came to kissing, Naruto preferred having Sasuke lead.

.-.

-notes-
This may be continued. If it is, it'll be with a very short chapter here and a link to a longer offsite lemon. I haven't written a lemon in over a year and it turns out I'm not quite ready to get back on that horse. A little more obsessing over NaruSasu and I'll get there. :p