April 7th

Year 10

Disclaimer: Still owning no one recognizable.

To my Precious Baby Girl,

Ten years ago, you were taken from me. Ten years ago, you visited us for a mere four hours. How could four hours impact a decade? How could four hours leave such an imprint on my heart? Why, Precious Girl, why? Why did your stay have to be so short?

I just wish the doctors had caught my leaking water. If they had caught it in time to diagnose, you would still be alive. My body failed you, Precious One. My body killed you.

That is the first time I've EVER mentioned what happened to you. I've just been afraid of the truth…as if speaking it made me seem less of a woman. I'm also afraid that wherever you are…you'll hate me. Because my body failed you in what is the most natural thing a woman can do.

Jo doesn't ask me where I go every year. That really surprises me. How can she NOT ask after seven years? When will I be able to tell her about you?

Ten years ago today, my heart was ripped out of my chest. Ten years ago, my heart was ripped out of my chest. Ten years ago, I found out you could give a lifetime of love to someone in a mere four hours. Four hours…

Happy birthday, my Precious Baby Girl.

Love,

Mommy