[Po]ke'

Scen[Es]

If at first you don't succeed…you should probably quit because it's clear you aren't cut out for it

Tracy walks down a long corridor, dressed dashingly in an expensive suit, having bought it after recently watching a How I Met Your Mother marathon. He stops in front of a door and knocks.

Commotion can be heard on the other side of the door. "Just a second!" Professor Oak shouts. A couple minutes pass by. "Okay. Come on in."

Tracy opens the door "Professor, it's time to star-oh my god what is going on?" he's stunned.

Oak realizes that the table he's sitting at is covered in equipment and ingredients for shooting heroin. "Oh my!" he wipes everything off the table with his arm and regresses to a casual manner, sitting back in his chair with his hands behind his head. "What were you saying, Trace?" he grins.

"The show is about to star-oh my god, Professor there's a needle in your arm!" Tracy points, panicked.

Oak glances at his arm, which indeed has a needle in it, which has injected him with heroin. "Oh, so there is…oh…oh my." he slinks down in the chair "Let's…get on with it then, huh?" he smiles.

Tracy sighs, looks at the camera and opens his arms with a shrug "Live from Pallet Town, it's Poke'Scenes!"

Delia Ketchum!

Delia is doing dishes, and flashes a smile at the camera.

Pikachu!

Pikachu is standing on a busy street corner with a group of people. He smiles at the camera.

Ash Ketchum!

Ash walks out of a deli with a big sandwich. He goes to take a bite and realizes there's a camera on him. He grins.

Team Rocket!

They're blasting through the air per usual, but smile for the camera.

Brock Slate!

He grabs a girl's ass and gets slapped hard across the face. He shrugs and smiles at the camera.

Misty Waterflower!

A door opens to show Misty from behind, wearing only panties. She realizes she's being watched and panics. She makes a hand bra and smiles.

With your hosts Samuel Oak and Tracy Sketchit!

The two of them drink from the same milkshake through separate straws at a 50's style diner. They smile.

Mega Misty

The trunk to a vehicle opens up. A woman with bright red hair with a black bandana tied around her head, and a matching leather jacket and pants on looks into the trunk. She has a tramp stamp of a Cloyster.

Inside the trunk is an A-R 15 semiautomatic weapon. The woman closes the trunk.

One week earlier…

A bartender flips through the channels on a television overhead, suspended from the ceiling. He flips through some news reports about an impending invasion by Kanto's military of another region.

"Welcome to Entertainment Tonight" some blonde lady says "First up, do you remember the Poke'mon character, Misty? If you don't, it's only because she's been out of the lime light for ten years now since her departure from the hit anime. But, she'll actually be crawling out of her cave for a couple minutes this Sunday night when she makes a presentation at the Anime Awards. Whatever she became, that pretty hot head with the Togepi, long ago…she's gone."

Watching from a stool at the counter, sipping Whiskey is none other than Misty herself. There are lines around her eyes, beneath a pair of lens with a thick black frame. Her hair is shaggy and uncleansed. Red facial hair sprouting about.

"I'll show you, bitch" Misty sips some more whiskey "I'll show all of you. It's gonna be the most greatest presi-den-tation EVER!"

She sits at a desk with a lamp light brighting the area as she focuses intently on making notes and drawings. She erases, crumples, and discards one sheet of paper after another as she searches for her perfect vision.

Small strands of red hair fall into the bathroom sink as Misty shaves her face with an electric razor.

That Sunday…

The audience at the Anime Awards applauds, following an award given out. The host walks up to the microphone. It's Sailor Moon.

"Our next presenter doesn't know the meaning of the word forgotten. Welcome back Misty." Sailor Moon steps aside.

Most of the audience claps sarcastically, forgetting who she is. Ash and friends applaud loudly and sincerely from a few rows back. Misty walks up to the microphone, wearing a conservative blue dress. Who Are You by The Who plays as she approaches the microphone.

"Tonight, I'm presenting the award for Best Female Performance." Misty speaks into the mike. "But first…" she strips off her long dress, leaving her in a bright red bikini.

A song starts to play and a group of backup dancers made of Jynx's form behind her and perform an originally choreographed dance.

seesaw swingin' with the boys in the school
and your feet flyin' up in the air
singin' "hey diddle diddle"
with your kitty in the middle of the swing
like you didn't care

Misty sticks her tongue out, while dancing around awkwardly on the stage. A guy dressed like an NFL referee gets behind her. Misty bends over in front of him and sticks out her tongue.

so I took a big chance at the high school dance
with a missy who was ready to play
wasn't me she was foolin'
'cause she knew what she was doin'
and I knowed love was here to stay
when she told me to

The madness persists in front of a stunned crowd. Then a giant pendulum is wheeled on stage by a group of half nude muscle men. Misty strips off her bikini and proceeds to ride the pendulum naked, licking and dry humping it.

walk this way

walk this way

walk this way

walk this way

walk this way
just gimme a kiss
like this!

("Walk This Way" by Aerosmith)

The performance ends with the Jynx dancers on their hands and knees, the muscle men holding oversized foam fingers in front of their crotch with Misty in the middle holding a massage stick in her mouth.

The crowd is stunned by what they just witnessed…

That week…

Misty sits on a recliner in her living room, flipping through the channels of the television.

Jimmy Kimmel is giving his monologue. "To anyone who watched the A.A's last night, they want to apologize for being entertaining this year." the audience laughs. He sticks out his tongue and leans over, mocking Misty, getting another big laugh from the crowd.

CNN's The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer: "The prospect of Kanto going to war with another region is escalating. More on that at the end of the hour, but first up, the Anime Awards is the talk of the town and particularly the performance by Misty last night in what many experts are calling a historical night of television. The performance clip in question is already the most watched video ever on youtube. Joining me now is Professor Cult Sher. Professor, what did you make of Misty's performance? Do you think this was a desperate attempt to regain notability?"

Prof Sher speaks via satellite "Well, Wolf, I think so. Her stock has plummeted over the course of the last five years, and some would argue longer than that. Say what you will about the content, but I think this is exactly what she needed. She went out there guns a blazing. She had nothing to lose. I think this was a brilliant move by Misty."

Real Time With Bill Maher: Bill's panel consists of Chris Tucker, Stephen King, and Barack Obama. "Well panel, let's get to what everyone is talking about" Bill says "Because even I'm more interested in this than the pending Kanto intervention in Sinnoh. And that is Misty's performance at the Anime Awards this past Sunday. I thought it was really something."

"What the hell wrong with her?!" Chris screams. "She is one crazy white girl! Damn!"

Bill laughs "True dat, brother. What do you think, Stephen? Was it more like an influence or more like influenza?" the audience and the panel laughs. Obama grins.

"Bill, let me tell you something" he begins "I've been writing horror for nearly fifty years, but I've never written anything more terrifying than that performance." the audience laughs and applauds.

"I'm throwing it to the prezzie." Bill says, eyeing Obama "What say you, Barry?"

"Now, Bill. Let me just say, I have nothing against Misty." Barack speaks "She uhh…was a great character on Poke'mon. She…is a wonderful water trainer. And a beautiful young lady. But, the fact is…uhh…she has tumbled down a dark path. She's not the role model she once was. It's a sad day on this planet when…a girl who used to carry a baby egg around, uh starts swinging naked on a pendulum." the audience applauds.

"That sounds like a good novel." Stephen King immediately begins writing his newest novel at the table.

Misty changes the channel once again. Charlie Rose is interviewing a couple guests. "The Poke'mon anime series is now under scrutiny, because of, your association with Misty Waterflower."

"It shouldn't be though." Brock says, sitting to Ash's right across from Charlie Rose. "We're talking about someone who was there at the beginning, but had little to nothing to do with the show, and even less to do with growing it into what it is today."

Misty's mouth his partially agape. She's stunned by Brock's reaction. She clenches her fists.

"Ash…" Charlie says "How do you counter?"

"As far as I'm concerned…" Ash responds "Misty is dead to me. I don't know who that was on stage on Sunday, but it wasn't Misty. It was some sort of weird mega evolved version of a once likable and attractive entity. It's like how Bulbasaur can ultimately become a Mega Venasaur or whatever. It's ugly and futile."

The rest of the show fades in the background as the weight of Ash's words sink into Misty's brain, prompting her veins to pump full of vengeance. She's highly motivated to get back at her former friends.

She digs through her closet, pulling out clothes. She strips herself of her current outfit of a tang top…and white panties. She pulls on camouflage underwear with a matching bra. She ties a red bandana around her forehead, installs a nose piercing, and puts on a necklace with a cross.

One last detail…she goes to a tattoo parlor and asks to have a Cloyster tattooed on her lower back.

"One clamp stamp coming up." he says, and prepares to ink her.

"Ow!" Misty winces in pain when the needle touches her.

"What? You've never been poked in the back before?" the artist asks.

"I've always been kind of a goody good who fakes tough. I guess it all started because my sisters-"

As Misty yaks away, the tattoo artist unscrews the lid on a jar with a labeled Sleep Powder acquired from various poke'mon and dumps some on Misty's head. She falls asleep and he resumes his work.

"This isn't a damn hair salon, bitch." he says as he carves a Cloyster into her back.

The next day…

Misty steps out of a hair salon into the sunlight, with a black bandana on over her freshly died bright wavy red hair, dark shades, a small leather jacket opened up over her camouflage bra, black leather pants, and pink tennis shoes, because her only black pair were dirty.

She walks to a red Corvette, puts her shades up on top of her head, and opens up the trunk. She examines the A-R 15 assault rifle. She takes a deep breath and shuts the trunk.

Misty gets in the car and speeds off, leaving a trail of dust behind her. She goes over the speed limit and then slowly pulls to a stop at an important location. She rolls down her window.

"Welcome to McDonalds, what can I get for you?" a woman asks her at the drive thru.

"Hi, can I get a twenty piece chicken mcnuggets?" Misty asks "And a five piece Mighty Wings….and…a large Dr. Pepper."

"Will that be all for you?" the lady asks.

"Yes."

"We'll have your total at the window."

Misty pulls forward.

A few hours later, after eating, and driving to her destination, she eyes the Poke'mon headquarters in her car from across the street. According to Ash's Twitter page, the entire cast, crew, everybody working for the show: is having an important meeting today. They've all been wrangled together.

The building is reflected in Misty's sunglasses. She smirks. She pops the trunk, gets out and goes around to get the gun. She picks it up, confirms that it's loaded and looks towards the headquarters. She steps toward it, and instantaneously falls down through an uncovered manhole.

"AHHHHHhhhhhhh…" Thud!

…Meanwhile at the meeting:

The show runner for Poke'mon speaks up "I think we should bring back Misty as a permanent integral part of the show."

Professor Oak sits at his desk, checking the message boards for Poke'Scenes on his lap top. Tracy peers over his shoulder.

"Yikes." Sam grits his teeth "People aren't happy about that conclusion."

"Well what did you expect?" Tracy asks "It was extremely anti-climactic. It was building and building to an epic blood bath and we took it away from them in a flash."

"It's a comedy. Not a suspense drama." Sam shakes his head. "Can't they at least appreciate that we're exposing the dangers of uncovered manholes?"

"That thread says uncovered manhole accidents are no laughing matter." Tracy points out.

Sam clicks on it: I know people, including two cousins of mine who fell down manholes and died.

"Screw this. Roll the next crappy skit." Sam says.

Hypersensitivity

The moon and the stars are beautiful sight as they light up the dark sky on a chilly night in the forest. Brock pokes at the campfire from his position on a log. He's finally alone after an entire day of dealing with his traveling companions whom he loved, but got under his skin. Especially Ash.

Brock reaches into a tube of Pringles and throws some in his mouth. He takes a lighter out of his vest pocket and a pack of Black & Mild cigars out of his pocket, ready for a stress-relieving smoke. He unfolds the Kanto newspaper to read about the recent events.

"Hey, Brock." his peaceful alone time is shattered by Ash's voice. He approaches him, rubbing his eyes.

Brock panics and hides the cigars and the lighter in the Pringles tube. He seals the lid. "Uh, hey Ash. What are you doing awake?"

"I need to talk to you. It's important." Ash rubs his swollen crotch.

Brock raises an eyebrow. "Well…have a seat."

Ash goes to sit next to Brock.

"Over there!" Brock points across the fire at the other log.

"Okay." Ash walks around and sits down.

"What's up?" Brock asks.

Ash sighs "It's about…Misty. And me. I think there's something wrong with me."

"What do you mean?" Brock rolls his eyes…in a cloud bubble above his head.

"Sometimes, when I'm around Misty…" Ash begins "I get this weird feeling. I start to sweat and my heart beats fast. It's like I'm having a hypersensitive reaction."

Brock smirks "Oh…I know what's going on."

"And also my little diglett gets bigger…" Ash rubs his crotch.

"Oh geez." Brock face palms. "Ash, how old are you now?"

"Uh…fifteen." Ash answers.

"This is normal, Ash." Brock smiles.

"It can't be, Brock. I can't get near her without all this stuff happening to me." Ash frowns. "My diglett swells up. Just like an allergic reaction."

"Ash, my son…you want to (bleep) her." Brock explains.

"Ahh!" Ash is stunned by Brock's language "What are you talking about?"

"You want to (bleep) Misty. It's okay. So do I quite honestly." Brock chuckles.

"What does that mean? How do I (bleep) her?" Ash asks with his index finger pressed against his lips.

Brock gets up and puts an arm around Ash's shoulder. "You know your little diglett?"

"Uh, yeah." Ash nods and looks down at his pants.

"You stick it in her cloyster." Brock says.

"What?!" Ash jumps back "I can't do that."

"Why not?" Brock asks.

"It would hurt!" Ash says, frightened.

Brock slaps Ash across the face "Quit being a little bitch. I didn't tell you to stick it in her ghastly. One hole at a time."

"Why do I need to do that though? That's gross." Ash appears disgusted.

"Yes it is, but that's part of nature." Brock says "Didn't your mom ever teach you about sex?"

"Nnooo." Ash shakes his head.

"Hmm…well I (bleep)-ed your mom." Brock says, his arm around Ash.

"Oh really?" Ash's eyes widen "Cool…"

Brock tries to keep a straight face. "She loved it. And so will Misty. Go into that tent and (bleep) her as hard as you can." Brock shoves Ash in the tent's direction.

Ash marches slowly towards the tent. He unzips it and crawls inside and closes it behind him. He drops his pants and pulls down Misty.

It's pitch black inside. As Misty gets poked from behind, she awakens. She moans. "Faster…" she whispers.

Ash moans and groans "Gahh my diglett is hypersensitive." their moans persist and escalate. "dig-a-dig-dig-a-dig-ahhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH…" he rolls over on his back and falls asleep.

Brock sits on the log smoking a cigar with Pikachu and Togepii beside him. "Ah, it's about damn time."

"Pika pika"

"Priiiiii"

The following morning…Ash emerges from the tent and stretches his arms. "Hey, Brocko." he sees his friend sitting by the fire, making breakfast.

"Good morning, Ash. Have fun last night?" Brock winks.

"The funnest!" Ash prances around the camp site. "I want to stick my diglett in more cloysters." he says while dancing happily.

"That's my boy." Brock chuckles.

Not too long later, Misty pops out of the tent in a bath robe. "Hi, handsome." Misty walks over to the fire and pecks Brock on the cheek. "You were raw last night." she winks.

"Yes I was." Brock sweat drops.

"You came inside me though, So I'll need to get some Plan B at the next town." she says.

"Sorry about that." Brock sweats more.

"And your diglett got bigger." Misty smirks.

Brock's jaw drops. "Ehh?"

"Ahhhhhh!" Ash shrieks.

Brock and Misty stand up startled and look in Ash's direction. His pants and underwear are down to his ankles and he's in immense pain in front of a Cloyster, which has clamped on to his diglett. Ash cries.

Brock face palms.

(This was a parody of "Allergic" by MoonlitSky321)

Professor Oak closes the lap top. "I don't even want to read the feedback for that one. It was terrible."

"What?" Tracy lowers the latest issue of The New York Times in his chair.

"Nothing. What's the next skit? Anything our readers should know?" Oak asks.

"Uh…read lightly…" Tracy resumes reading The Times.

[Fr]eaking

[Ra]d

Previously on Freaking Rad…

Danny, one of the Orange Island gym leaders approaches his gym to see an eviction notice.

He's in the poke'mon center with Electrode by his side. "Your electrode has kidney cancer." Nurse Joy informs him.

Danny opens the door of his studio apartment in briefs and an open bathrobe. He picks up a newspaper with a headline reading: Drug Dealers Make Great Money!

Danny sits in his living room with Electrode and some of his other poke'mon. "It's Electrode's turn to speak. Give him the talking pillow." Danny says.

Nidoqueen from the couch, tosses the pillow to Electrode in the recliner, but it bounces off his displeased face.

"I know about what you do. I know about your business." Danny says to a guy dressed in all blue, including a beanie. "What's your name?"

"Bryan." he answers "Bryan Anston…I mean Bryan Anderson." he corrects himself. "What's your name?"

"Danny Light." Danny responds.

Danny and Bryan are in abandoned high school lab class. "I read on Wikipedia how to make the popular drug, Death so let's get started." Danny and Bryan mix poke'mon poisons and powders and potions together to make the addictive and dangerous drug.

"We're gonna use my signature ingredient. Kool-aid powder." Bryan holds up a variety of kool-aid sugar packets.

"No!" Danny smacks them out of his hand.

Bryan tries the finished Death product "Oh man!" he paces the room "That stuff is freaking rad yo!"

"Those guys stole my television." Bryan says with his eyes welled up with tears. "I'm going after them."

"No, Bryan. You should have dealt with it then. It's over." Danny tells him, his hands on Bryan's shoulders.

Bryan marches towards the thieves and pulls a gun out of his pocket, and then suddenly a crop duster airplane flies into them out of nowhere, taking them out. The plane is piloted by Danny. Bryan is stunned.

A poke'mon known as Flygon flies around the lab. Danny and Bryan give chase, trying to get rid of the contamination.

The two guys sit in a fast food restaurant chatting. "What if we robbed a train, and used like…a magnet?" Bryan suggests with a mouth full of chicken.

"What relevance does that have to our Death production?" Danny asks.

"Wha?" Bryan sees things fuzzy and distorted, because of the effects of the drugs he's on. He's not thinking clearly.

A tear strains from Electrode's eye.

Bryan faces Danny with tears in his eyes. "Mr. Light, how much more money do you want?" he asks him "How much more death are we gonna make? How much more death…are we gonna cause?"

"We're done when I say we're done." Danny storms off.

"Who is this Flyseinberg…this mysterious Death dealer who flies a crop duster around the orange islands, picking off the competition?" Officer Jenny asks.

"They say his death is freaking rad." another Jenny says.

"I am the one who talks!" Danny exclaims "You shut up and listen." he says to Bryan.

Created by

[Ne]o

Nam[Co]

Danny and Bryan remove their yellow ponchos in a large laboratory where they just finished cooking a batch of Death. "That should do it." Danny says as they weigh the finished product. He writes down the numbers on a chart.

"Yo, Pepsi me, bitch." Bryan holds out his hand.

Danny rolls his eyes and grabs a Pepsi out of the ice cooler and hands it to Bryan.

Bryan opens the tab and drinks down his refreshing drink. He tilts his head and winks.

"This is only 44 pounds. We're short." Danny realizes. Sweat drops from his brow.

"Mr. Light, relax." Bryan tells him. "Have a Pepsi." he tilts his head and winks again.

"No, Bryan. It's not okay. We have to meet expectation. Fifty pounds. No less." Danny reminds him.

"Like seriously? It's not a big deal. Chill…like this ice cold Pepsi." Bryan gulps down some more Pepsi.

"Bryan, let me tell you something." Danny gets in Bryan's face "Put down the Pepsi and learn for a second."

"Cooks, how is it coming along?" a man appears in the doorway of the lab in a nice suit. The man is Russ Bling, an owner of a popular Laundromat chain called Dry By and also the lead Death dealer in the Orange Islands. He also wears a lot of gold bling, hence the name.

"We're six pounds under, Russ." Danny reluctantly answers.

"Yo, you're not gonna like kill us are you?" Bryan asks, and then nervously takes a sip of Pepsi. He crushes the can and throws it in the recycle bin.

"Heavens no." Russ responds and approaches the men. "Gentleman, it is quite alright. It's jus at little hiccup. Everyone makes mistakes."

Danny and Bryan look at each other. The sound of another Pepsi being opened is audible and Bryan brings another can to his mouth.

"I tell you what. Why don't you both take the day off tomorrow. Recharge those batteries." Russ tells them, putting a hand on each of their shoulders. Russ grins.

"Are you sure about that? What about customer demand? It's at an all time high." Danny reminds him.

"No worries." Russ says, adjusting his glasses, and then his tie. "Take the day off with pay. And here, have some bling." he graciously offers. Danny and Bryan stare at him in silence. "Don't be afraid. Just reach in and pick something. Come on."

Bryan slowly reaches out and pulls a gold earring out of Russ' ear.

"Ow" Russ rubs his bloody ear "Your turn, Danny."

Danny sighs and reaches for the gold necklace with the gold Pikachu charm.

"Not that one!" Russ steps back. "Any one, but that one."

Danny pulls off a gold bracelet from Russ's wrist and puts it around his own. "This is pretty sweet."

"Very well. Enjoy your day off." Russ turns around and walks out the door.

"I'm gonna have a pizza party tomorrow." Bryan says, getting his stuff together "You want to come?"

"No…Bryan, do you want to go get a beer?" Danny asks.

"Uh, no, but thanks." Bryan puts his bag over his shoulder.

"Seriously. Have a beer with me." Danny stares him down.

"No, dude." Bryan walks towards the door.

"Have a goddamn beer with me!" Danny grabs Bryan by the shoulders and pushes him into the wall.

Bryan checks his watch "Well okay."

Danny and Bryan are sitting at a table at a bar called Szylack's. Bryan has Blue Moon in his mug and Danny as Rolling Rock.

Bryan drinks down his Blue Moon. He notices Danny staring blankly ahead. "Yo, what's up? What did you want to say?"

Danny snaps out of his day dream. "I'm sorry…you got mustard…right here." he points at his own shirt.

"I don't see any mustard." Bryan says, looking at his partner's shirt.

"No, not my shirt. Your shirt!" Danny points at Bryan.

"I know. That's my lucky stain." Bryan says like it's obvious.

Danny stares at him for a few seconds "Lucky stain? Seriously?"

"Yeah, like seriously yo." Bryan rolls his eyes.

"Never mind. I wanted to talk to you about Russ." Danny says quietly.

"The guy is pretty great huh? Giving us a paid day off. And his jewelry." Bryan admires the earring in his palm "My last boss used to gag me and (bleep) me in the ass when I screwed up."

Danny shoots him a quizzical look "Where did you work before?"

"Papa Johns." Bryan simply answers.

"Okay, about Russ. He's nice. He's too nice. He's overly cheerful and motivational." Danny says "He has to go."

"What? Why? He gives us free Pepsi!" Bryan pulls a Pepsi out of his pocket.

"Keep your voice down." Danny says, angrily. "I can't work in a positive environment. I need criticism. I need to be challenged. I'm not getting any of that from Russ. We need to kill him."

"No." Bryan shakes his head "No, forget it yo. I still haven't gotten over the last guy you made me kill."

"It had to be done." Danny retorts.

"Dale was a nice guy. He just sneezed on you. It was an accident." Bryan says.

"I was sick for a week after that!" Danny says, upset. "Look, I'm gonna do this with or without your help. But, I need you. I need you, Bryan."

Bryan sighs "How do we do it?"

"Let's both go home and brainstorm and we'll meet at Denny's in the morning to discuss our ideas." Danny says "Sound good?"

Bryan smiles "I'm gonna get a grand slam."

"Bryan, concentrate." Danny kicks him under the table.

"Okay." Bryan and Danny pay and leave.

Bryan walks home with his hands in his pockets, thinking of ways to kill Russ, when he stumbles upon an exciting discovery. There's a red Corvette parked on the side of the curb next to an uncovered manhole and an automatic weapon in between.

"Cool. Big gun." Bryan picks it up and looks through the scope with a big grin on his face.

"Hellllp! Help!" a female voice shouts from down in the hole.

Bryan shifts his eyes, grabs the manhole cover and seals it. He grins, gets in the car with the gun, and drives off.

The next morning at Denny's…Danny and Bryan sit at a table eating breakfast. Bryan has used the bacon on his plate to create a design. "What do you think?" he slides his plate in front of Danny.

Danny checks out the plate and then looks at Bryan, un-amused. "Really?"

"Boobies, bitch." Bryan grins, proud of the bacon boobs he made. He takes the strawberries off his pancakes and substitutes the bacon in the middle as nipples. He licks and sucks on one of them, disturbing the people at the table across from them.

"Bryan, stop." Danny grabs the strawberries and puts them on his plate. "Let's exchange ideas. What did you come up with?"

"I was thinking that we like shoot the guy." Bryan suggests "Did you see Inglorious Basterds?"

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! The following italicized words contain SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

Bryan continues "I say we do him like they did Hitler. At the end of the movie, they pump round after round into Hitler at the theatre. Just pow-pow-pow. Overkill. It was da bomb!"

Danny stares at Bryan, dumbfounded. "I was thinking of something a little more subtle."

"But, I have an AR-15 in my car outside." Bryan reveals "I could blow him away. Scarface style yo."

"You brought an illegal weapon to a family restaurant?" Danny asks in a quit, but elevated tone.

Bryan ignores the question and drinks some orange juice.

"You're talking about an over the top blood splattering fantasy that would elevate the heart rate of anyone who witnesses it…" Danny says "No. We do it quietly, and precise. We use poison."

"Aw, but Mr. Light, that's not exciting. That's lame juice yo." Bryan crosses his arms.

"Lame juice?" Danny raises an eyebrow "You think intoxicating a man with a deadly poison that makes him sick with flu like symptoms, eventually leading to his death after a few days isn't exciting? That's lame?"

Bryan stares at Danny, takes a sip of orange juice and puts the glass back on the table. "Sorry. That's totally cray-cray." he says sarcastically.

"Call it what you will. It's the smartest and safest route to take." Danny wipes his face with a napkin and takes out some cash from his wallet. "I'll call you later." he gets up and leaves the table.

Bryan sits still for a moment, before reaching over and grabbing the strawberries, which he puts back on his bacon boobs, and resumes sucking on them.

Danny goes home that night and mixes some chemicals together in his kitchen to create a slow acting poison that he'll use on Russ. He scoops the white powdered poison substance into a small tube and seals it. He sticks it inside a cigarette pack to store it inconspicuously.

The next day, Danny sits in his car outside a fast food restaurant. Bryan pulls up a few minutes later in his new Corvette. "Bryan." he says "Come here." he unlocks the passenger door.

Bryan walks around and gets inside. "What's up?"

Danny hands Bryan the pack of cigarettes. "There's poison inside."

Bryan opens it up and sees the tube. "Well yeah, they're cigarettes."

"No. In the tube." Danny takes the pack back and points to the tube. "After work, I'm gonna go wait for him outside the Laundromat, the one you said you see him at every Friday. Then I'm gonna follow him to his house and sneak some poison into his coffee."

Bryan starts to worry about the plan. "Are you sure you want to do this…Mr. Light?"

"Absolutely. No partial measures." Danny gets out of the car. Bryan sighs, gets out and follows Danny inside the food joint to the back. They open up an unmarked door that takes them down into a basement which turns out to be the location of their lab.

After a day of cooking Death, Danny and Bryan clean up and head out. Danny gets in his car and drives to one of the Dry By Laundromats that Russ owns. He spots his vehicle and sits from a distance, waiting for him to leave.

An hour passes and Russ walks out, in his nice suit and bling, and gets into his car. Danny follows from a safe distance to his mansion. Russ gets out and enters his home.

Danny treads passed the security gate and maneuvers his way through a barrage of obstacles that's quite entertaining and suspenseful, but requires too much detail for me to exhaust describing. Danny finds his way into the house and finds the tin of ground coffee in the cabinet.

He pulls the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and opens it up…but…the tube is missing. "No…no-no-no." he whispers and pulls his hair. He sighs and leaves…

In the morning, Danny sits at a round table in his backyard in front of the swimming pool. An empty beer bottle is on its side on the table. Danny spins it. It stops, pointing at him. He spins it again. Same outcome. He spins it one more time, and it points to his right. He turns his head to see his signature crop duster. "Hmm…"

Danny parks his car in front of a house. He's dressed in black leotard. He walks up to a red corvette, breaks into the passenger seat, and pulls out an AR-15. He retreats back to his vehicle.

Man hours later, Russ is being driven by his right hand man, Mick. They drive out to an isolated desert looking area. Mick parks the car. He and Russ get out. But, a third person exit's the vehicle. It's Bryan.

"This is it." Russ says.

"What's this all about?" Bryan asks, and takes a sip of Pepsi.

"I think you're ready to know about our drop-offs and meeting spots. The behind the scenes aspect of this business." Russ explains.

"And lord knows I ain't getting any younger." Mick says in his menacing gravely voice.

"This is the spot where Mick and myself come for top secret affairs and relaxing get aways." Russ reveals.

"I don't mean to be rude…" Bryan says "but this place is lame juice. Yo."

"At first glance. But that well over yonder is actually an elevator to an underground paradise." Russ points to a rusty old wishing well.

Little do they know, they're being watched…from the sky. Danny flies his crop duster through the sky. He uses his binoculars to see them. He's surprised to see his partner.

"Bryan…" he pushes his partner's safety out of his thoughts. His goal is to kill Russ. At all cost. He zeros in on Russ and pulls up the AR-15. He begins firing rounds at them.

Russ, Mick, and Bryan try dodging the bullets, and running for the car to use as cover. Danny sprays the area with bullets. Blood splatters and a blanket of dust conceals the carnage.

Danny circles the area until the dust clears. The lifeless bodies of Russ and Mick litter the ground. Danny's new concern is Bryan's well-being. He's no where to be seen. Danny takes the plane in for a landing. He gets out with the weapon in hand and approaches the bodies and the vehicle.

Soon, Bryan crawls out from underneath the car. "What the hell yo?" he's upset.

"I'm sorry, Bryan. I did what needed to be done…but I'm so glad you're okay." Danny hugs him. "How did you survive?"

Bryan looks down at his stained shirt "I never go anywhere without my lucky stain."

Danny laughs and gives Bryan another good squeeze. "Tomorrow we'll go to Denny's. I'll buy."

"All right. Yeah, Mr. Light. Yeah, Denny's!" Bryan exclaims in joy.

Danny walks over to Russ' corpse and pulls the Pikachu necklace off of him. He sticks it in his pocket. It is his trophy. "Let's get out of here." Danny leads Bryan to the airplane, and they fly away.

That night, Bryan is sitting in his favorite chair, watching television. He thinks about his old beloved television that was stolen by those thieving assholes months back. The ones that Danny crashed into with his plane.

He suddenly comes to a realization. He remembers going to Danny's house, and seeing a television in his basement that was very similar to the one that was stolen from him. He even made a remark about the similarities. He remembers an oddly placed coaster on the television(not a flat screen. It's kind of old).

A previous flashback has Danny checking out Bryan's old T.V in the living room of his house. "What do you think of the set? Pretty sweet huh?"

"It's nice." Danny gets a closer look, seeing that the initials B.A are carved into the top of the tv. "Why did you carve B.A into it?"

"So that way I know it's mine. If someone ever steals it, I can track down the culprit. You can't un-carve that. There's nothing that can be done to hide it." Bryan explains.

The realization enrages Bryan. He clenches the remote…

The following morning…Danny and Bryan are eating breakfast at Denny's in their usual spot. They're both dressed like they're going to the beach. T-shirts and shorts. Bryan in blue, Danny in white. They look like Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta at the diner in Pulp Fiction. Bryan has stacks of pancakes and bacon on his plate. No bacon design this time. Danny takes a sip of coffee.

"Aren't you gonna make some bacon breasts?" Danny asks.

"Nah. I'm too hungry." Bryan says with no emotion.

"You've barely touched your plate." Danny says.

Bryan sticks some bacon in his mouth. "Happy?"

"What's up your butt? Did you have a crush on Russy?" Danny smirks. He takes another sip of coffee. "I'll be right back." he gets up and goes to the bathroom.

Bryan eyes Danny's empty plate.

Danny washes his hands and face. He looks at the automatic hand dryer, which has a dent in it from when he punched it in rage after finding out Electrode had cancer months ago. He dries his hands.

Danny sits back at the table. "I was thinking…" he drinks some more coffee "we should go fishing some time. The two of us. Just a nice relaxing time out in the wilderness. We'll stock up on plenty of Pepsi. What do you say?"

"Yeah, sure. Sounds like fun." Bryan eats some more bacon.

They finish eating, pay for their meals, and walk to their respective vehicles. "Thanks for breakfast." Bryan says, opening the door to his corvette.

"You're welcome." Danny smiles "I'll call you." he gets into his car and drives off.

Bryan sits down in front of the wheel. He holds up an empty tube, previously containing the poison Danny made.

We zoom in on the empty coffee cup in Denny's. The word bitch is made out in bacon on Bryan's plate…

Executive Producer

[Ne]o

Nam[Co]

Professor Oak's jaw is dropped.

"What's wrong, Professor?" Tracy asks, concerned.

"I'm not even done with season one of Breaking Bad. It looked to me like there were countless references and spoilers littered throughout that skit." he complains.

"Anyways…" Tracy faces the camera with a smile "It's time for fan mail."

"Why do you waste our time?" - MadTroller

"The first amendment." Tracy simply replies.

"Is Gary gay?" -awesomeSOUL101

"Well awesome soul, I can only go on speculation. And I believe he is gay. But if you want a definitive answer, please stay tuned for more Poke'Scenes and maybe Gary's sexual orientation will be officially revealed in an upcoming chapter. Thanks for reading everybody!"

R&R please!