This is gonna be a archive for my Dean/Nathanael stories, which mean slash if you don't like don't read.
I have many started but haven't completed them or not written them down just yet. But much more is to come.
Own: Nathanael and other fictional charachters i come up with.
Don't own anything that CW/WB/Kripe or anything they come up with which mean the charachters of Supernatural.
Beta: No, and i have probobly not even read it so error is very likely to se. Can't deal don't read. You don't have to be a member to write a review. Reviews i love. :) they make me happy which mean i post/write more stories.
Title: Rock star.
¤
The bar crowded with a younger generation. Smoke and booze filled his lungs, dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved grey shirt and an army green t-shirt on top, his hair spiky and blond with a hint of darker strays in it. Wearing real boots. He was leaning on the bar drinking his beer while watching the scene licking his lips greedy. His breath heavy, he felt his groin tighten more his eyes fixated on the scene, there singing on the mike was the most sensual person he ever seen. The rock music blasting through the speakers, the boy's voice husky and manly, his hair spiked up in a mohawk. His hair black like a raven, his eyes piercing blue his lips full and fuckable.
Dressed in all black with the logo of the band's name Dark Raven on it with a few tribal symbols, his wrist having leather bracelets just like he had, but he had a stone on one of them, the mohawk boy having a belt with revets. His hand rapped around the mike from time to time while he was playing on a pitch black guitar with red flames and a the logo of the band on it glued on.
What made him burn from the inside out was that the boy looked straight into his eyes as he sang the ref the line, and I wanna fuck you slow, baby, come to me, I'm not gonna screw with you only pleasure you. Dean had never in his life wanted someone this much, a cruel desire almost, a desire that ached all over, his swallowed his beer tearing his eyes away as one of his friends excused themselves to go to the toilet to puke. Pussies. He thought nodding at his friend that squeezed his way into the crowed and toilet.
The song stopped, Dean's eyes went up the stage again, this time the music much softer the crowed going crazy for him. Baby I know you've been burned in your passed, but I will make all your troubles leave, there's no doubt in my mind that I want you so badly, let me take care of you. Dragging out the word you making the females go like crazy, Dean shook his head amused his eyes forced his way off the stage. Getting up to follow his friend taking pity on him, but suddenly the voice got stronger like trying to get someone's attention. He glanced up and his breath was kicked out of him the boy looked straight at him offering a crooked smile and a wink. Dean thought he imaging it cuz he left the crowed.
He lifted his friends weight that was spiting and half puking out in the ally. "Hey your friend alright?" he knew that voice he froze for a second but sobered quickly up glancing up then down quickly.
"Yeah. Andy here just can't stop when he starts." He offered not wanting to look at him, the attraction killing him. He was sure at any second he was about to combust. The horn went off and Dean looked up smiling at Cassie that looked at him with a smile. "Well hello hun." He felt the rock boy start to pull away.
"Dean your such a jerk, why are you always dragging Andy into shit? Lucas will be pissed if he sees me with you two again." But she still helped Andy into the back seat and sat down in the car again.
"Tell your boyfriend that you are there for your friends." Dean offered cheekily. He glanced at the rock boy that looked at him hungry he felt a rush in his body, he glanced at him licking his lips. His breath heavy, the honk making him turn again. "Thanks Cass."
"Your not coming?" Dean looked at the boy for an answer letting the boll in his court the mohawk boy grinned his finger going to his belt buckle yanking him closer, "I guess not… use protection!" she called as she went off. Dean rolled his eyes, but then his lips were attacked. His lips were sucked and licked and he moaned loud into the kiss, gasping as he felt a hand sneak in between their groins stroking him greedy. His eyes heavy, looking into those light blue eyes that looked with such intensity into his eyes.
"C'mon, my place." Dean couldn't reply he just followed in daze, part of being drunk and part of desire. His heart hammering hard, his breath hitching as he was dragged, yanked and lead up the stairs beside the bar and the sound of keys. "I live just over the bar." He heard but he didn't care what he said, he just wanted to feel. And feel he did, he was slammed up the door before being yanked again, stumbling into a room and fell backwards on the bed that squeaked in complain of the rough treatment. The mohawk boy straddled him before attacking his body this time pinning him down, "stay put." An order, Dean felt a shiver all over.
He held back a whimper as the mohawk boy moved away but returned with lube and condoms Dean popped himself on his elbows reaching out for him and his hands were slammed away. He was pushed back and dragged up higher on the bed, he tugged off the black shirt of the mohawk boy. His body lean and strong, fucking perfect. Dean's head resting on a pillow his fingers working on the buckle, soon the mohawk boy was nude as the day he was born. It was his turn, his clothing ripped off roughly. Their boys pressing and rocking greedy, he bit his lip hard trying not to come already but being drunk had its limitations. "Fuck!" he came hard his body shaking.
The mohawk boy panted into his ear before biting him hard rocking harder before coming to. Dean felt his eyes drop and he was shaken awake, "I'm not nearly done with you." Dean shivered by his voice so freaking soft as manly so fucking husky with a hint of accent. His legs spreading apart, he was about to warn the mohawk boy that he never been the "bottom" before but the mohawk quickly noticed it and murmured something about, "fuck, your killing me."
Things got blurry, some pain but then only pleasure he moaned loud cursing words, "Nathanael." Dean sort of got insulted the guy could at least try not to moan someone else's name when he came. Dean squeezed his eyes forcing himself to concentrate on the feelings of their bodies rather his brain and chest that clenched. "Say my name." the boy murmured kissing him greedy, "say my name." Dean cried out the name, Nathanael as he came everything getting blurry.
He woke up by a buzz, he sat up quickly but then laid down as his head felt heavy. He groaned and glanced at Nathanael that was sleeping on his stomach an arm thrown over him, he was stirring, Dean slowly rolled away stumbling to his jeans and phone. On the caller ID he could se his mom's name and he kicked himself. Probably had Andy's step mom once again called his mom telling him Andy was drunk and blaming totally on him. He dressed quickly stumbling into his shirt when a voice startled him. "Hey."
"Uh… hey."
"Leaving?"
"Yeah. My…" he interrupted himself, swallowing hard as Nathanael opened the cover revealing his nude body.
"Sure you wanna leave?" Dean disconnected his phone stumbling out of his jeans once again, "I thought so." The tone cocky with a crooked grin and lascivious twinkle in his eyes to match it with.
§
The second time he woke up he was al alone in the bed, there was a note on the bed saying that he was just fixing something to eat and he better not think of leaving anytime soon. Dean chuckled shaking his head, he groaned his head pulsating, he blinked a couple of times and saw the glass of orange juice and pills beside it. He swallowed it down quickly and sat up stretching his aching body lazy. He stood up throwing the cover away and reached for his boxers, "can't you read?" the tone teasing almost gleeful. Dean looked up to se Nathanael looking all hot and tussled, "lay down." He ordered.
He chuckled, "ever head of freewill?"
"Ever heard of, fuck you all weekend?" Nathanael's head crooked to the side with his feral smile of his, and Dean looked into those eyes and stretched out on the bed.
"Its only cuz I have a hang over."
"Whatever makes you sleep better at night." Dean snorted as reply, "I brought doughnuts and coffee." Lips tugged up into his signature grin. Nathanael straddled him offering the cup, "drink up, I need you awake for what I'm planning for you." Dean chuckled shaking his head and regretted doing so and groaned.
It wasn't until late afternoon he really left the bed, this time not to pee or take a shower but this time to leave, "well now I really have to go." Dean said dressing, wrinkling his nose of wearing dirty cloths.
"Weekend is not over yet."
"For my part it is. Have to show my face so my family and friends still know I'm alive." Dean replied glancing at Nathanael that was sprawled on the bed nude and shameless. His arm behind his head.
"Your sure?"
"Yes." He laughed amused tapping his pockets to make sure he had everything. "I will se you around."
"Well you know were I'm at, don't be shy. Feel free to come over." Dean wasn't stupid he knew what Nathanael meant by that. He winked before leaving the apartment that was small, only a small bedroom that fitted only a guitar and a queen-sized bed, then was the open room kitchen/tv room and a small bathroom with a shower.
¤
Dean yawned in class his mom had grounded him for the whole month but his father had shorten it off to two weeks. Boy will be boys he had said that earned him a slap from Mary. Dean chuckled, John Winchester was a fearless man, hard working man but his mom Mary Winchester could boss his dad around all the time. His lips quirked up into a wicked grin as he thought that he hadn't broken the ground rules, on lunch period he time to time knocked on Nathanael's door was yanked into the apartment getting his brain fucked out of him before dragging himself away and running to class to not miss anything. Andy had of course apologized and Dean had of course forgiven his friends after a little weed.
The bell went off and Dean was quick to leave the classroom, it was a weird agreement he and Nathanael had for the last two months, he would sometimes come to the bar after the show follow Nathanael up stairs fucking like two bunnies, he would come after school sometimes and the same thing. Not that he was complaining. But he didn't know anything about Nathanael and he didn't want to ask because he would probably seem clingy or something. Dean threw an arm around Melissa that blushed and giggled, he nibbled her neck patting her butt before dragging his attention to Cassie that was there. "When will you stop flirting with my friends?"
"When they stop being so irresistible." He said grinning making the girls blush, Cassie rolled her eyes, "well friend of my, I need a favour."
"What is that friend of my?" Dean asked seducing and she rolled her eyes at him he stepped into her personal space. She winked at him their flirting always playful they never meant anything by it, sure he lost his virginity to her as she did to him when they were about fourteen but since then they were best friends.
"I need you."
"I knew it." He interrupted husky, biting his lower lip before grinning like mad man, she smiled sensual at him moving closer their lips almost touching.
"I need you to get me an interview for Dark Raven." His brow drew down in disbelief.
"You got to be kidding me." He laughed out humorless shaking his head stepping back from her as she began to tug his arm.
"C'mon Dean you know the band leader!" she argued making a puppy eyes and pouting knowing he couldn't resist her she pressed her body closer to him, boys would always think with their lower anatomy.
"OMG! You know Nathanael Raven?!" Melissa squealed.
"I don't even know him that well…" Dean argued weakly his eyes fluttering as her body flushed closer, he bit back a moan.
"Please it's my chance to get published! Please, pretty please." She murmured into Dean's ear that scowled at her for making him feel weak.
"I can't promise anything."
"Its all I ask." She said smiling wide.
§
Dean shifted uncomfortable standing in Nathanael's apartment that was already pulling his shirt off. "What? Why aren't you undressing?" his lips into a wolfish smirk. "Need help?" the tone teasing.
"This is awkward but…"
"Don't tell me, you have a sexual disease. Ok no can se that by the look of your face, ok your in love with someone… no ok your laughing. What."
"My friend wants to be a journalist… she needs an interview. It's that girl Cassie you probably wont even…"
"The hot dark chick?"
"Yes, she's been bugging me cuz she knows somehow that I come here so… I can tell her no if…"
"Any friend of yours is a friend of my, that's it? Good. Take that off." Laughter and moaning followed.
¤
"Remember he don't know I'm in high school so…"
"Dean!" she hissed.
"What? He never asked."
"What? You've known the guy for over two months how can you not have told him."
"Cuz we never talk…"
"What do you do then?... oh…. Oh god Dean I didn't need that image…"
"You're blushing…" Dean smirked wickedly.
§
"So, what how did the band get started?" Nathanael glanced at Dean that was waiting by the bar drinking a beer.
"Hun that's not interesting. Something unique something others wouldn't' dare." He said winking at her that didn't wait a second to ask her question.
"Where did the inspirations for fuck me slow come from?"
"Well that was fast, me like. It was a girl I knew once, every song I write has a personal history to it…" Cassie wrote down everything as she asked bolder questions getting honest answers from Nathanael that drank his beer. "That's it?"
"Yes, thank you."
"Your welcome."
"Dean we're done." Dean looked up getting up. "Thank you again, now we have to go."
"We?"
"I'm picking up Dean's little brother since Dean got his…"
"Licence pulled in." Dean interrupted.
¤
It was in the middle of the night, he woke up by the bang from the bar bellow, his eyes travelled to the guitar beside the bed. He glanced at Nathanael that was still asleep and he daringly reached out for the guitar holding it in his hand, feeling the weight of it.
"Mmm what are you doing?" he jumped up startled feeling a kiss on his shoulder blade.
"Oh I'm sorry." Dean excused embarrassed, quickly putting the guitar down, but Nathanael chuckled and kissed his neck again nibbling his neck and down his shoulder.
"Its okay, can you play?"
"My dad said he would teach me but he… well he haven't."
"Want me to teach you some riffs?"
"Sure." Dean said and was about to turn around when Nathanael sat up behind him his chest pressed against Dean's back, guiding Dean how to hold the guitar and hand his hand on top of his.
"This is a C mayor." He murmured into Dean's neck and he shivered. "Mmm your good." Dean chuckled, "D mayor, C mayor, F mayor, G mayor. Ok mix them around a little." Dean felt a chuckled on his neck, "good but you can variant with you hand a little, you can go up and down and pluck the strings like this." soon Nathanael hummed, "I'm gonna do the accords and you can hit the strings." Nathanael started to hum then began to sing quietly. "With you I can sing every love song and they can't compare to you."
"Sounds good what song is that?"
"A new one." He murmured mysteries and Dean chuckled.
"Are you making me a mix tape?"
"Better." Nathanael chuckled, the guitar put away and they wrestled on the bed, Dean pinned Nathanael down and started to tickle him.
§
Before he even had the time to knock Nathanael opened the door, "I have something for you."
"Really?" he asked husky grinning wide and Nathanael winked at him dragging him in the door closing behind him, soon he was sited own on the couch that had seen better days, Nathanael pressed play and his voice came out the speakers, Dean listened and fell in love with the song not understanding why Nathanael was nervous until he sang, freckles. Dean blinked surprised and then looked up at Nathanael that bit his thumb, "you… your singing about… me?" he stuttered almost out and Nathanael nodded and Dean felt a flush. "You…like me?"
"More then like…" Dean had always tried to play it cool with Nathanael but the fact was that he was head over heels over this boy, he felt awkward and stupid just like… well a teenager. He felt a huge goofy smile spread on his face, looking love sick almost. "Glad you like."
¤
Nathanael was playing with his band when his cell went off. "Dean?" he question when he heard someone puke.
"Nathanael?"
"Yes" he chuckled. "You called me…"
"Right… I need u to pick me up. Fucking cops bashed the party, I'm hiding I need you to pick me up."
"Where are you?"
"Mapple street between first and third."
"I'm on my way."
"Thank you." He heard more puking and wrinkled his nose. The phone went dead and he looked at his band members.
"I'll be right back I'm just gonna pick up…"
"Your boyfriend." The drummer interrupted making kissing sounds. Nathanael rolled his eyes and chuckled he hurried out. He found Dean passed out cold on the street he lifted Dean up his heart hammering with fear what if he hadn't been so near by? Anyone could have hurt Dean killed him even he would have a serious talk with Dean how much booze he could actually drink.
¤
"Oh hi, I'm looking for this record or Led Zeppelin." Mary showed the cover and Nathanael's eyebrow crooked. She must have mistaken him from a worker in the cd store but she seemed nice and he didn't want to embarrass her. And he did know the store as the back of his hand.
"Your holding it in you hand." He replied amused.
"Ha ha a funny guy, no I accidentally broke the record when I went into my son's room…"
"Ah… spying on your kid?" he asked teasingly.
"No, yes… just that he's so secretive latently."
"All teenagers are secretive…"
"Yeah I know he's sixteen and all but I worry." She sighed sadly Nathanael took pity on her and put a hand on her shoulder briefly.
"Wait I'll get the record for you." Nathanael quickly found it and gave it to the woman that reminded him of someone, someone special to him he smiled at the lady.
"Thank you," she walked to the counter looking confused at him when he stood put looking through records she felt stupid as the manager came out selling the cd to her.
"Hi" Nathanael said brightly to Dean that entered the record store but then looked up wide eyed dragging him to leave with him. "Huh?"
"Dean?"
"Oh hey mom…" Dean dragged out slowly feeling his heart hammering. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh I was just buying a cd… for Sam…"
"Oh." Dean smiled tightly, "well bye mom." he waved her off and she scowled at him pinched his cheek and was walking out but she turned around and said strictly.
"You better be home for supper!" Dean knew he was probably red.
"So I thought your little brother was eleven." Nathanael was frowning and Dean nudged them to leave the store, they walked down the street.
"Oh he is." Dean replied after awhile.
"I thought you only had one sibling."
"Yeah…"
"She said to me that her sixteen year old… your not sixteen right?" the last part low. Dean looked at him with a crinkle with his forehead looking at him amused.
"She said I was sixteen?" he chuckled, Nathanael breathed out in relief.
"Yes…"
"Whatever… so your place?" he offered winking. When they were inside Dean began to tug on Nathanael's cloths, and attach his neck.
"Wait, stop… I'm still at ease…" Nathanael's hand rested on Dean's arms stopping him but Dean rolled his eyes.
"Why?" he asked with a frown.
"You mom…"
"So…."
"Why did she say you were sixteen?" he questioned.
"C'mon you really want to talk about this rather go to bed?" the last part he murmured into Nathanael's neck that stopped him and pushed him gently but firmly back.
"I hardly even know you."
"Uhm… random… we known each other for five months now…" Dean said looking at Nathanael in disbelief.
"Yeah I know but I don't know you, sure I know what your favourite band is and how you like being touched, your movies, what liquor you like to drink but I don't know anything else, I don't know where you live, where you go to collage, never met your family well except your mom today…"
"C'mon, it's not like I know…"
"Your right I haven't told you anything, cuz you never asked me why is that?" Nathanael questioned looking into Dean's hazel eyes for answers that shrugged.
"Perhaps cuz its not important and that I'm not nosy?"
"Dean…"
"Nathanael c'mon just lets go to bed." Dean said trying to drag him to bed before it all would be too late.
"It's all that we do." He argued standing put not letting his lover drag him to bed because then he couldn't think straight at all.
"Problem with that?" he asked amused.
"Yeah." Dean's smile died out on him. "Watching a movie, talk its me that has to get that starting or we just end up in bed…"
"What is so wrong with that?" he asked a little sternly his arms going around himself in defence.
"Is that all we have? Sex? I mean… in the risk of sounding like a clingy needy girl. I think we have more then that, you know it so why even try to pretend that we don't have more then just a sexual attraction?" Dean sighed.
"Perhaps I don't tell you cuz I like some mystery." He said wiggling his eyebrows.
"Or your hiding something from me…"
"Yeah I am…"
"Tell me."
"When I was seven… I really wanted a dog…"
"Dean! Tell me."
"My family doesn't know about me being… well a sexual person that is drawn to hot people." He offered a wide smile that was fake, "I would appreciate you well… respecting that."
"Ah so I'm your dirty secret?"
"Not dirty in a bad way…"
"What else… Dean tell me… where do you go to school."
"High school."
"Excuse me?" Nathanael asked darkly suddenly, "Oh you're a senior."
"Next year."
"Excuse me."
"Next year I will be a senior."
"You are eighteen right… no you have to be or you wouldn't get into the club."
"Fake ID, I'm seventeen."
"Please say your gonna turn eighteen this year."
"Next year."
"I just turned seventeen… remember when you picked me up at that party?"
"Yeah…"
"It was my birthday party."
"You were sixteen when I first meet you!"
"Yeah…"
"WHY the hell did you never tell me that you were just sixteen?!"
"You never asked!"
"That's the fucking lamest excuse I've ever heard! Don't you get that this will ruin my career!"
"Shut up, its not like anybody knows expect Cassie and she won't tell."
"She's a freaking reporter!"
"She wouldn't tell cuz she knows what I do with guys are personal."
"Guys?" Dean just clenched his jaw, "never mind doesn't matter I can't se you anymore."
"Please you're not that much older then me."
"I'm nineteen gonna be twenty in less of four months."
"Yeah and I eighteen in ten."
"It's fucking illegal. You have no idea how much fucking trouble you can get me into."
"Don't worry about it."
"Don't worry about it for fuck sake Dean…"
"You will never se me again, if we cross path we just act like we don't know each other. That's it. Your fucking career is safe and sound. Goodbye."
"Dean wait…"
"Screw you."
"No I'm not just gonna…"
"What?! I'm not the only one that has to worry, I don't want my family to know what I do on my personal time." he said then scornful, "its not we even are together. I'm walking so let me go now." Dean left the apartment shaking somewhat.
¤
Dean sat at the coffee shop with Dennis a buddy of his, Dean grinned and threw his head back and laughed loud. Dennis leaned forward and whispered a dirty joke in his ear and Dean went all red. His eyes went up and he saw Nathanael there narrowing down his eyes at him looking pissed. He felt a kick in the gut, Nathanael turned away and walked over the street and Dean looked down his mood changing.
§
"Your sure about this Dean?"
"Of course, I'll get you in." They walked into the house party, he was drunk as hell in less of two hours and listened as bands started to play in the living room. Then he froze when he saw Nathanael go there, "let's go." He tugged Dennis and Andy's arms.
"What?! Why! Its Dark Raven! Dude their so cool! You have to like pay loads of cash of watching them play!"
"I'm leaving." Dean snorted annoyed at Dennis, "coming?" he asked Andy that was very loyal to him.
"C'mon Dean its Black Raven…" Dean felt betrayed like hell and pushed his way through the crowed from the corner from his eyes he saw that Nathanael saw him. He stumbled out the hall into to the door, he must have passed out cold because he woke up on a bed. His vision blurry, "Dean dude you okay?"
"Yeah… are we in the house?"
"Yeah, I carried you up stairs you hit the door pretty bad… funny but… well it was funny. Someone opened the door just as you stumbled into it."
"Oh."
"Is he awake?" his eyes dragged to the door seeing blurry.
"Dude you're the guy from Black Raven!"
"Yeah… why don't you step outside for a second?"
"Sure."
"Andy!" but Andy already left him.
"You okay?"
"Huh?"
"Are. You. Okay?"
"I think so…"
"Good then you can stand me yelling at you."
"For what!"
"You're just a spoiled brat."
"Excuse me?"
"I grew up poor, I lived on my own since I was fifteen! I'm not gonna let your stupid mouth destroy everything I've worked for the past ten years!"
"What! I haven't told anyone about anything." Dean argued standing up to fast because he swaged and almost fell backwards.
"Don't give me that shit. I should have known that you were just a fucking kid!"
"Woah! You don't wanna go there."
"Fuck you! You should have told me! Now your in verge of ruin everything just keep your fucking mouth shut!"
"I've never said anything asshole! Leave me the fuck alone." Dean shouted trying to stumble out the room but Nathanael yanked his arm.
"Yeah I will, you better fucking shut up about everything."
"Like I want to talk!"
"Just keep your damn mouth shut."
"Fuck you." Dean snarled pissed yanking his arm free and stumbled out the room.
¤
"C'mon Dean!"
"I'm not in the mood."
"You can't stay in bed forever!"
"Leave me alone Cassie." He turned the radio on hearing Nathanael's new single, heartbreaker he threw the radio out, that bastard he twisted everything that it was his fault it wasn't his fault. The whole new fucking record was about him, how he lied how he deseed how cruel he was.
"Dean!" she shouted as the radio smashed.
¤
"Sammy c'mon don't be angry with me."
"You a big stupid… butt!" Dean rolled his eyes. "I mean it! Everybody hates me now!"
"Sammy it's not my fault… its not even about me people just…"
"Don't lie, Hazel eyes is about you!" Dean felt his eyes burn, "I hate you!"
"Please Sammy don't say that, I'm sorry that they are mean to you but…"
"I never want to se you again!" Sam ran up the stairs and the door was slammed Dean squeezed shut his eyes.
¤
Nathanael breathed out nervously, he screw up badly. He always blamed Dean for blabbing his mouth or even Cassie never in his life did he think that it was Joey the bartender. His so called friend. He told Joey everything about everything he was so fucking stupid now he lost Dean, in rage he threw his guitar into the wall.
¤
I know I've hurt you bad, I know that by the way you walk, but let me make it up to you, please babe I know my pride got away, don't wake away, stay just stay, I gotto to take care of you, just let me take care of you, baby please I'm begging you like a mad man take me back and I'll make it up to you. So baby please tell me that you will come back to me, cuz there's no doubt in my mind that you and me are a fucking perfect. I will take care of you, so baby please take me back.
Dean looked at Nathanael as he sang looking straight into his eyes Dean looked away, don't let resentment be our fall, don't let your pride break us apart, baby just take me back. Baby I will take care of you. Please freckles take me back. Dean's eyes darted up on the stage feeling his eyes burn even more he blinked turning away drying his tears that wanted to spill and stamped out the bar.
"Dean!" he heard Nathanael call.
"Fuck you, you can't just let our problems in one fucking song. You have no right dragging me into there."
"C'mon Dean don't be such a…"
"Don't be a what? Brat? That was you said, I'm just a brat right? A spoiled brat that knows nothing. Just a kid that can't even…"
"I'm sorry okay but they…"
"The fucking paper wrote a fucking story about us, fine that you tell something but not about me! You had no right fucking trashing me on fucking TV! Fucking TV! You fucking said my fucking name! It didn't take people around here to know it was me! You have any idea what I've been gone through the past eight months? Huh? People fucking trashed my car! My little brother got bullied in school cuz his big brother was a faggot, a bitch to ´dark raven´, a groupie! My mom cried her self to sleep wondering what she did wrong by me! My dad fucking have made my life a hell, half of my friends wants nothing to do with me. I've lost everything because of you! You have no right ever saying my name ever again I want nothing to do with you!"
"Dean… I'm sorry." He said it with so much regret, it was no excuse for what he done on the tour, it had been Patrick the bassist that told him the truth after he shared bed with a handful with groupies one night. He told him that he over heard Joey talk, he felt so horrible but he had been so freaking in love with Dean still was but Dean broke his heart. It made him bitter like hell because he never been so freaking in love before, when he found out that it wasn't Dean that was the one that leaked information he grew even more bitter then pissed. Now broken.
"Sorry it's not enough," Dean sneered out, he would never admit it but Nathanael had made him cry several night. He had felt horrible for lying about his age for never telling him, but then Nathanael had accused him of things he hadn't done. Called him in the middle of the night drunk as hell accusing him for using him.
"Let me make it up to you. I can set things straight…"
"Really want to help me?"
"Yes."
"Tell the press it's not me. That you just accidentally said my name that it was someone else, that I was just a friend to you that it's all a misunderstanding. And perhaps my mom won't have to cry every night." Dean cried out his tears dropping, "You know what it's like having your father telling he's fucking disappointed at you? Huh? That my little brother that saw me as his hero, now things low of me? You destroyed my life I hate you." He cried out not caring who heard him in the middle of the street. Even if it was empty.
"Dean I…"
"If you say sorry I swear to got I will punch you, just tell the world I wasn't the one. Then stay out of my life." He left.
¤
Dean shut off the TV looking at his mom that was sad, his father looked at him "Dean?"
"Yes sir." He replied shaky, feeling a heavy stone in his stomach. Last week he graduated and he felt more lost then he ever done in his entire life, he was scared. Scared that his family would hate him even more.
"Is that truth?"
"What?"
"You just got caught in the middle of this or did you ask this of him?"
"What?"
"Honey… its no secret that you've been depressed…"
"Mom…"
"Its just break my heart…"
"Stop okay! I'm sorry okay! I'm sorry!" he screamed the top of his lungs. "I'm sorry that I failed you both I'm sorry that your disappointed at me, I'm sorry that I was stupid enough to fall in love and especially in a guy I'm so fucking sorry okay! But I've tried everything! I'm sorry that people are bulling Sam, I'm sorry their giving you hell dad, I'm sorry mom that you cry every night. I'm sorry that I even am alive! I'm sorry okay!"
"Dean." His mom sobbed. His father looking at him pained.
"If I could I would turn back time, I would never have gone into that bar in the first place, I'm sorry I'm such a freak, that I've never fitted into this family, I'm sorry that I'm the black sheep." He was in panic tears falling, screaming as his lungs were trying to breath he saw black spots. He turned away and ran when he saw their tears. He ran out the door ignoring their calls for him he just ran out the street never hearing the car, just feeling pain and the sensations of flying before a hard slam in his head and everything went black.
§
"I'm sorry mrs Winchester but he's in a coma, I can't be sure if he will ever wake up. And I can't do another surgery."
"Why not?"
"I've been a doctor a very long time, so I know when the person is strong and has a will to live… I don't know how to say it nicely, if I put your son under the knife again he won't make it. He just wont fight on his own. He's given up, if I just stop the machine he will die, he should be breathing on his own but wont."
"Oh god." John hugged his wife close.
§
Sam sat by his brother's bed, "I'm sorry I've been mean, please don't leave me Dean." He dried his tears sobbing. He heard a gasp and turned to se Nathanael "what are you doing here?! It's your fault he's laying here!" Sam screamed out angry and filled with hatred. Nathanael ignored Sam shaky he reached out for Dean's broken body.
"Oh god Dean, please Dean don't die on me." He begged he clasped Dean's hand the other hand touching Dean's cheek, he had a bandage around his head and cast on both of his legs, and right arm.
"Go!" he looked at Sam
"I'm sorry…"
"Go away! If you just let my brother be nothing of this would have happened!"
"I'm sorry kid." He got up drying his tears walking out ignoring the crashing of Dean's parents, and ran out of the hospital and puked outside in the bushes.
§
"We can't afford that hospital even if we take a second loan on the house." John argued with the doctor that nodded.
"Its okay mr Winchester, its already paid for."
"What?"
"Yes a mr Raven was here, your son is being transfer to the best hospital in the country." The doctor almost beamed. John Winchester sighed scratching his beer, Dean had been in a coma for over four months already.
§
"I know what you have done to my son." Mary said tear eyed to Nathanael that froze in his spot, "I know how you broke his heart how you then accused him. Have any idea how hard it is for a mother seeing her son in pain? I know you come here every week when we are working, I'm grateful for that you are paying for the hospital bills but don't let for any second that I will forget how you hurt my son."
"mrs Winchester…"
"Shouldn't you be on tour?"
"We propounded for two more months…"
"You shouldn't have done that."
"Dean's at critical state I just…" Mary sighed.
"From what I hear your talented, and I know Dean wouldn't want you here." Mary saw the flinch, "he would want you on the road doing your thing." Mary sat down on the chair stroking Dean's cheek. "Go." Nathanael left.
¤
Dean gritted his teeth hard in pain "c'mon I know you can do this."
"Maybe I don't want to."
"Dean you have to or you will be stuck in that wheelchair." Dean just looked darkly at the physical therapist that wouldn't give up on him.
"Dean your parents are here…."
"How many times do I have to tell you I don't want to se them!"
"Okay mr Winchester."
"Don't look at me like that." He grunted out angry.
"Like what? Oh you mean in disappointment, Dean they love you."
"They can't stand seeing me like this. And I can't look them in the eye after everything…"
"You were in a coma for almost a year I think they got to progress the fact your gay."
"I'm not gay. I'm a…"
"Whatever that you had a relationship with Nathanael. I mean I saw Nathanael talk to your parents a couple of times sometimes even laughing… showing pictures…"
"You're lying"
"No I'm not."
"There is now way in hell that…"
"It's the truth Dean, sure it was frosty between them the first couple of months but after the mayor surgery of your spine they got close." Dean snorted.
¤
"What are you doing here?"
"Just making sure you are alright. You look good."
"Well write a song about it."
"Dean."
"Leave Nathanael."
"No"
"No? I can just call for the doctor."
"I'm paying for all of this so…"
"Well… fuck off." He tried to say it heated but it came lame, he felt weak and bitter. The bitterness killing him he was not bitter he was god going guy not like this he hated himself.
"Dean you were in a coma for nine months. I have been taking care of you so could I at least get to stay a little while?" his voice so calming and smooth Dean could se that Nathanael was struggling, with what he didn't know.
"Whatever." He grumbled and felt a hand on him and shook it of and realised what the struggle had been about Nathanael had fought himself from not touching him but failed, somehow it warmed his heart. He looked down then up again "what do you want to talk about."
"Going to collage… well when your feeling better?"
"Not going to collage period."
"Why is that?"
"Perhaps because I don't like school." Dean replied bored, wincing as he tried to make himself comfortable, Nathanael fixed his pillow and sat down beside him.
"Ah okay, the band went on tour… I've been in Europe even Japan."
"Really?"
"Yeah I can show you if you want tapes."
"Sure." Dean replied, truthfully he was exited, he wanted to se how well it went for the band because the band members were great, they were nice to him even when they didn't have to be. "Still have your apartment?"
"Yeah," Nathanael chuckled, "bought a house in L.A and NY."
"That's good."
"Yeah." There was a silence, "there's a hidden motive why I'm here."
"And that is."
"Your parents want to talk to you." Dean looked away, "there's a plastic doctor in L.A that wants to se you. He can fix your scars."
"I like my scars."
"No you don't."
"What I'm not pretty with them?" he patted his eyelashes. Nathanael shook his head.
"That scar on your shoulder is damaging your muscular you know that, he can fix it."
"Fine."
"Fine?"
"I'm to tired to care."
"Good. You will stay with me to in recovery…"
"Whatever."
§
"This is your ´crib´?" he snorted, feeling that bitterness again. Did Nathanael get this crib of writing hateful songs about him?
"Yes, albums selling will get ya money." Nathanael replied and pushed the wheelchair into the house. "This is going to be your room se its close to the bathroom and kitchen. Push this button a tad a here we have plasma TV popping up from the headboard… Dean c'mon…" he lifted Dean up on the bed that winced. "Are you okay?"
"Yes." He hissed angry, "can I have some privacy?"
"Sure, I'll be close by so you can…"
"I'm fine."
"Sure but just in case…" Dean closed his eyes biting back then looked at him.
"I'm sorry I know I'm a pain in the ass. Thank you for well letting me stay…"
"Your not a pain in the ass Dean, never. I wouldn't have it any other way I want you to stay here with me." The hidden words again Dean nodded and closed his eyes. "I'll let you rest."
¤
It was winter and it was cold as hell, Dean stared at Nathanael that was tuning the guitar. He was still living with Nathanael he had talked to his family everything was forgiven but it still hurt. He sighed, he had started to work in Nathanael's band as a assistant. He couldn't do any heavy lifting because his right arm shoulder blade muscular was damaged, he waited for long to fix that scar. His left hip still gave him trouble sometimes when he walked to long, or when it was about to rain he called his hip weather channel.
Thanksgiving, had passed for two weeks ago his parents had been over his whole family that meant grandparents from both sides. Sure enough it had been awkward but his grandma from his mother side was one cool chick she just asked, honey are you still gay? If so I have a friends which grandson is gay to. He had began laughing loud. Everyone offered a smile keeping up with new topics to talk about, his grandma winked at him as Nathanael seemed jealous.
As said his grandma was a cool chick she had given him proof that Nathanael still liked him.
"Kiss me." Dean said looking at Nathanael that looked up surprised but stood up and kissed him. "So I still felt that did you?" he asked.
"Yes." Nathanael replied honestly, yes in deed did he feel that.
"Ok,"
"Ok what?"
"I will take you back." Dean offered nonchalant.
"It's a start." Nathanael murmured into Dean's lips.
THE END
26may 07