The Jack Rules

Disclaimer: I do not own Jack. Or PotC. Why have you forsaken me, God? Just one Jack, please

Summary: Inspired (partially by my own fic "All your fault") I decided that Jack has to have some rules in his life.

And here they are:

#01. I am Captain Jack Sparrow.

#02. Rum is good.

#02a. No rum, no good.

#03. I love the Pearl.

#03a. The Black Pearl is mine.

#04. Barbossa sucks.

#04a. Everyone who steals my ship sucks.

#05. Slapping is (mostly) not deserved and painful.

#06. Being a pirate rules.

#07. You have heard of me...

#08. Locker is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

#09. Seeing myself multiple times is weird...but I´m not crazy.

#10. It´s totally normal how I walk.

#11. Not my head spins, that´s the world around me.

#12. I am Captain Jack Sparrow.

#13. I hate anything with tentacles.

#14. I am a better Captain than Barbossa ever will be.

#15. Tattoos are cool.

#16. My bandana is not pink.

#16a. It was red, it just faded.

#17. I have a good singing voice.

#17. I was the only pirate lord with something valuable as a piece of eight.

#18. Mistress Ching is creepy.

#19. Flying- Dutchman- Jack is creepy too.

#19a. The brain licking was gross.

#20. Jackpot is a cool word.

#21. It´s ok to cheat, I am a pirate.

#22. I did NOT run away.

#23. I didn´t steal it, I borrowed it.

#23a. Without permission but with sincere intense to bring it back.

#24. I don´t know how Cotton trained his parrot.

#25. Barbossa´s monkey is creepy.

#25a. I don´t know why it´s name is Jack, too.

#26. When anything goes wrong, blame it on somebody else.

#26a. Or run.

#27. Whoever invented the word "Parley" was a nice man.

#27a. Although it were the French.

#27b. It´s a pain in the --- to pronounce it though.

#28. I´m not afraid of Anamaria.

#29. I don´t have any shoulder angels/devils.

#29a. Ask Dutchman- Jack if you don´t believe me.

#30. Immortality -yay!

#31. Fountain of Youth/Aqua Vitae win

#32. Locker baaaaaaaaaaad

#32a. I did not say that before.

#33. Tortuga is a cool town.

#34. Singapore is cool.

#34a. Sao Feng isn´t.

#35. My dad is the keeper of the Code. Awesome.

#36. He keeps the shrunk head of my mom with him. Gross.

#37. I´m not drunk!

#38. Seaturtles, mate.

#39. Eating people is bad.

#39a. I hate the Pelegostos.

#40. Jailhouse Dog is mean.

#41. Beckett is an ---.

#41a. Davy Jones, too.

#41b. Hard to believe but I like Barbossa better than these two.

#42. MINE

#43. Unless he knew you wouldn´t believe the truth even if he told you.

#44. Pretty boat -ship.

#45. I am not stalked by stones.

#46. Gold is nice.

#47. I don´t walk funny.

#48. Norrington sucks.

#48a. yes, I did hire him...he still sucks

#49. Where´s the thump-thump?

#50. Carving one´s heart out is just ewwwwwww.

Author´s talk: It after 2 am now. I can write whatever I want.

Reviews would be nice; if you have any rules to add, please tell me.

And I´m not sure about the order of the rules: #1 is the most important, then the number is irrelevant.