Title: A Generals work is never done 1/?
Special Request Forms, part 5 / 6 Cam's Special request.
Fandom: SG1.
Author: Ra'Ay'Mond
Rating: PG-13: for paper work and implied …..stuff.
Category: Humor? Angst? A day at the office.
Spoilers: Working at the SGC.
Summary: Hammond, Landry, O'Neill & Walter, behind the scenes.
Authors note: I wanted to write something about Hammond. This is just a start.
While working it out in my head I keep coming up with Walter "never" being too far away from The general.
Disclaimer: The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.
I would like to think Fidalgo, for his last minute Beta reading. He went out of his way putting aside his sleep just to help me with this Fic. I couldn't have done it with out him.
I also have to thank G.L.F.B. for once again helping me out by telling me that Col. Mitchell should request 'the Sword of Swords': Excalibur. In addition, I have to thank MelissaAdams22 for reminding me that Cam wanted to eat Hash Browns before he and Sam...took their trip. One of them also suggested the chess game. I sorry but I can't remember which one. :-)Melissa knows everything there is to know about Lt. Col. Cameron Mitchell. :-)
I whined to both of them that I no idea what to write for Cam. They both wiped my tears away and sent me back to my key board feeling as if I knew what I was doing.
Sergeant Walter Harriman tells Cam, "Colonel Mitchell General Landry is ready to see you now. He requested that I sit in on this meeting to take notes sir."
"Nope! I have no problem with you being there. I just hope that you like Barbecue sergeant, because I have a feeling that I'm about to be grilled."
"Sergeant, give it to me straight. Is General Landry mad at me? Or is he really mad at me?"
"Colonel Mitchell I believe the general should be the one to talk to you about his reason for meeting with you. However sir, between the two of us I think that he is more… curious than anything else."
"OK. Fair enough. I figured that it would come to this one of these days. Might as well get this over with. Please lead the way sergeant."
Sergeant Harriman leads the way to General Hank Landry's office. After stopping in the doorway, Walter announces their arrival by saying, "Excuse me sir, I have Colonel Mitchell here for your meeting."
The general has an open file in front of him containing all of the Special Request Forms from the Colonel since his arrival at the SGC. He is reading the latest one when the other men arrived.
"Great, come right in gentlemen and take a seat. Please close the door behind you."
"Colonel Mitchell I'll get right down to business. Part of the SGC's budget contains certain discretionary funds that are to be disbursed to the members of all SG team members.
This disbursement is in the form of the fulfillment of special requests that are within reason. Every ninety days each team member can submit a Special Request Form. This form is reviewed by the current base commander for approval or denial. However, every effort should be made by said base commander to approve the request.
This is done in the hopes that the requested resources and or materials will be used to enhance the performance of said team member. Or, to provide the aforementioned team member a source of entertainment and or relaxation."
While the general continues telling the Colonel why and how the Pentagon awards special request to SGC teams, Walter thinks one thought repeatedly to himself, 'Written by lawyers, for lawyers. These text book explanations are so wordy that even Col. Carter would get confused.'
General Landry finishes his nearly verbatim reading of introduction to the Special Requests section of the SGC's addendum to the Air Forces handbook. So top secret in fact that, technically it does not exists.
Finally the general waves one of the Special Request Forms towards Colonel Mitchell as he tells him, "Ever since your arrival here at the SGC your Special Request Forms reads as follows, 'While laying in my hospital bed after my air crafts crash landing, I only wanted two things: 1-To be able to walk again. 2-Two become a member of SG-1.
I have been blessed with both of these things and would feel greedy asking for anything else so soon. Although I appreciate the offer, I will not be making a Special Request this quarter."
General Landry then pauses for effect before he continues, "Only a total sociopath could argue with your modest request to be allowed not to make a request."
Landry Throws his hands in the air and says, "So I let it go!"
"I figured that this, 'Ahh shucks' routine of yours was a by product of your Kansas, Midwestern farmer's son upbringing."
Colonel Mitchell says, "Well yes sir, Actually…"
The general continues without pausing, "However, It has since come to my attention from a certain General O'Neill. Two 'L's. That certain high ups at the Pentagon have approached him as to why I won't allow you to make a Special Request.
Colonel Mitchell asks, "If you'd like sir I can call General O'Neill and…"
General Landry places his hand up, signaling the colonel to stop talking. He once again continues without pause. This time his voice gets louder by the second.
"I started thinking that maybe General O'Neill is getting hold of bad intel.
This was not the case. He tells me that General George Hammond told him, and I quote "I've heard some things about Landry not allowing Mitchell to make any Special Requests. However, Hank should not pay any attention to these rumors. It's just a matter of time before the Colonel request something and the whole thing blows over."
Colonel Mitchell seems a little dazed as he ask Landry, "Sir. How did General Hammond get inv…?"
General Landry interrupts the Colonel and says, "Wait Colonel, I'm almost done.
General O'Neill then temporally went into mother hen mode and asked if I have something against you!"
General Landry leans in closer as he asks Col. Mitchell, "You don't feel that I have anything against you, do you Colonel?"
"No sir. It's just that….."
The general continues with out stopping, "General O'Neill went on to tell me that after a recent meeting he attended, the president asked about you."
At this point Col. Mitchell sat up in his chair and asks general Landry, "The president asked about me?"
General Landry stops talking long enough to take a deep breath and stare at the Colonel as if he had just grown a third eye in the center of his forehead.
Walter does not react to this outwardly. Inwardly however, he's saying, 'Oh no he didn't!'
'Great! General Landry doesn't get mad very often. But when he gets mad, he stays mad.'
"Yes! " Responds the general. "The President of the United States of America asked about you. It seems that he talked to General O'Neill about hearing that you're not happy inyour current assignment here at the SGC. In addition, since it's a well-known fact that you wanted this job for years. It, as well as this base should have few if any surprises for you, so the problem must be the current base commander. ME!"
Walter thinks to himself again, 'He's going to be like this all week long. That's just great. Col. Mitchell gets it for five minutes, I'll get it for five days.'
'Way to go, fly boy!'
Walter puts his feelings into verse:
'Who's the man who can ruin the life of an Air Force staff sergeant?'
'Cam Shaft!'
'You damn right!'
General Landry continues, "Well Colonel is this about you really being happy and content that your hospital room prays being answered, or is there something else I should know?"
"Are you telling people that you are unhappy here? Am I the reason that you're not making any of these requests? Because the way things are going I would not be surprised if the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff calls to tell me that he's going to beat me up at three O'clock after school."
Walter thinks, 'OK. Here's your big chance to fix it all up Colonel Mitchell, for both of us.'
Cam Mitchell sits back in his chair and replies "No sir. I do not have a problem with you, or your commend. In addition, I'm sorry that me not requesting anything has caused you so much trouble.
What I wrote down as my reason for not requesting anything is true. I went from not being able to wiggle my toes, to being able to walk again. Not to mention being re-assigned to SG-1."
"As far I was concerned asking for anything else would be, tempting fate."
"Why don't I just give you and the sergeant a request and get this over with."
The general looks relieved as leans back in his chair and tells the Colonel, "That's probably the best solution. I still have no idea how this little grape vine grew so fast, but I believe Gen. Hammond is right, the sooner your request is received the sooner these rumors end.
Well son, what would you like?"
Walter has a newfound appreciation for the Colonel's golden tongue and modesty as he snatches victory from defeat and thinks to himself, "Yes! Thank you Colonel . I take it all back. Just give us one request, that's all we need."
After several seconds of thought, Cam Mitchell says, "I was just about to go to the Mess Hall and have some Hash Browns right before me and Col. Carter went out of phase and disappeared. I was unable to eat anything…I love Hash Browns sir!
"Well I don't have to tell you that I was unable to eat Hash Browns, or anything else for that matter."
"But I watched other people eat them. I gazed at their hot, crisp, glistening surface. I listened to the delicate crunching sound that they made as they broke off a piece. I Smelled their gentle yet fragrant richness. I watched as they tasted and chewed them."
Col. Mitchell unconsciously moves to the edge of his seat as he looks back and forth between General Landry and Sergeant Harriman.
"Finally after they've use all of their senses to derive as much pleasure as passable from these golden brown, flavor filled slices. They swallow those delicious, fried, heavenly squares."
While the Colonel confesses his secret love of Hash Browns to both men, Landry and Harriman can only look at each other, embarrassed and slightly confused.
After hearing this Walter thinks to himself, 'Geez Colonel, get a room!'
On the other hand, General Landry thinks to himself, 'Great! Now I want Hash Browns!'
Finally, The general has heard enough. He interrupts Cam and asks, "Colonel, At the risk of sounding as if, I don't like you. I have to ask, where are you going with this soft core pornographic description of your love of Hash Browns?"
"I would like my Special Request to be a steak, hash brown and gravy meal every time I return from an off-world mission sir."
"Now son that is a great idea for a Special Request! The general says.
Walter begins to write down the request just as the general Landry says, "Request denied!"
Walter crosses out the steak and hash brown Special Request.
General Landry continues, "here's the thing Colonel , if I allow you to place a special order several times a month with the mess hall, it's just a matter of time before other SG team members start requesting a special return, or departing meal. The cooking staff will go nuts."
The general continues.
"Although the cooking staff here at the SGC is among the best that the U.S. military can provide, I don't think it's a good idea not to annoy anyone who prepares your food, if you catch my drift."
Col. Mitchell thinks of about what was just said and replies, "Point taken sir." How about if I just take a few frozen hash brown patties with me on some off-worlds missions?"
"Take your favorite Earth foods with you, so you'll never get home sick. Also a great idea. Walter writes down the frozen pattie idea right before the general says, "Request denied!"
As Walter crosses off the frozen hash brown off his pad he thinks, 'I should have seen that coming.'
"Here's the thing Colonel, You would have to take some oil for frying. Or you would have to find some other way to cook'em up…out there." General Landry points toward the ceiling as he finishes his sentence.
"You would also have to keep them on ice until you're ready to eat. That's the main reason MRE's were created, to help keep dining in the field as simple as possible."
The general's mouth waters and his stomach grumbles slightly as he tells the colonel,
"If it makes you feel any better I have a funny feeling that the base mess hall will be serving hash browns, steak and gravy tomorrow for dinner. As well as hash browns and gravy off and on for the rest of this month. That is if someone reminds me to tell them to do it."
General Landry looks at Walter Harriman during the last part of that sentence. Picking up the hint, Sergeant Harriman writes down a note to remind the general to call the mess hall when this meeting is over.
Cam continues, "OK sir. How about this, Once area 51 is done examining Excalibur, can I keep it? Or can I at the very least, hold it one more time?"
General Landry's eyes almost pop out of his head when he hears this. Then he quickly turns and points at Sergeant Harriman while he says, "Walter, don't bother writing that down!
'Too late sir', Walter thinks to himself as he crosses out the word Excalibur.
"Colonel do you have any idea how many strings I pulled for you to get your hands on that alien memory transference device. Also, to obtain permission for your friend in the hospital to use that device to see the ultra top-secret work going on here and off-world."
"Yes sir. He died a happy man thanks to you. I'll never be able to thank you enough for what you did"
General Landry actually blushes as he looks away and says, "Well, anything for the hero of Antarctica."
He regains his composer as he turns back toward the colonel and says, "Be sure to tell the President that I said that when you see him."
Colonel I have an idea, How about if I choose your first two Special Requests. One for you to use on Earth, and one for your off-world missions."
Before the Colonel can answer, the general continues.
"I understand that you play chess. How about a small traveler's chess game. No, even better. How about a small traveler's computer chess game? During down time when your off world you can play your team members, or the computer.
You're a ground pounder in your current capacity as a member of SG-1. However, there must be times when you miss flying through the clouds. For the second Special Request I think that you should have a copy of the complete illustrated history of combat air craft."
Colonel Mitchell looks off to nowhere in particular as he thinks about the Special Requests that were just chosen for him. After several seconds he turns to His general and says, "Sir, I think those are perfect selections. I should have thought of them"
General Landry happily says "Thank you Colonel." He becomes serious again as he asks, "Are you just saying that or do you really mean it?"
"No sir! I meant every word. However, I would still like you to look into the Excalibur request sir." Cam says with a smile.
Upon hearing this the general's smile disappears as he says, "OK. But don't hold your breath. I happen to know that General O'Neill has 'first dibbs' on the sword.
It was now Colonel Mitchell's smile to disappear as he says, "General O'Neill wants the sword to?"
Landry answers, "What? You think that you were the only little boy on Earth who wanted to play king Author? "
"We'll put your requests through ASAP. Unless there is anything else, I believe that Walter is about to remind me to call the base chef and let him know that this month is
Officially 'Hash Brown' month."
Both Walter and Cam Shaft shake their heads no as they stand up to leave the room.
As Cam is half way out of the room the general tells him, "And Colonel, If you ever do feel unhappy here for any reason, my door is always open. Even if the problem is with me."
Col. Mitchell takes several seconds to absorb what was just said before he responds, "Thank you sir." Then he walks away.
The End.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Vala's 'Special Request Form' will be next and last in this series.
'A general's work is never done', however, will continue.
Love it? Hated it? Please let me know…