Reasons Why Sasuke Doesn't Shop With Naruto… Anymore
Summary: Title says it all. AU
Disclaimer: Me no ownee Naruto.
Warning: Extreme asinine reasons!
One day Sasuke received angry mail from their local Walmart. It read:
May 30, 2007 Dear Uchiha
Sasuke, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Uzumaki
Naruto has been 1. November 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms
and randomly put them in 2. December 2: Set all the alarm
clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute 3.
December 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading
to the 4. December 19: Walked up to an
employee and told her in an official tone, 5. January 4:
Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a box of cup ramen
on 6. February 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET
FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. February 15: Set up a
tent in the camping department and told other 8. February 23: When a clerk asks
if they can help him, he begins to 9. March 4: Looked
right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, 10. April 10: While handling guns in the
hunting department, asked 11. April 3:
Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming 12. May 6: In
the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"
using 13. May 18: Hid in a
clothing rack and when people browsed through, 14. May 21: When an
announcement came over the loud speaker, 15. May 23: Went into a
fitting room, shut the door and waited awhile;
Re:
Mr. Uzumaki Naruto: Multiple Complaints
causing quite a commotion in our store. We
cannot tolerate this type of
behavior and have considered banning
the entire family from shopping in
any of our stores. We
have documented all incidents on our video
surveillance
equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling
from
the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr.
Uzumaki
have been compiled and are listed below.
15 Incidents
caused by Mr. Uzumaki Naruto has done while his spouse is
shopping:
people's carts when
they weren't looking.
intervals.
restrooms.
Code
3 in Housewares... and watched what happened.
layaway.
shoppers he'd
invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the
bedding
department.
cry and asks 'Why can't
you people just leave me alone?'
and picked
his nose.
the clerk
if he knows where the antidepressants are.
the "Mission Impossible" theme.
different size funnels.
yelled "PICK
ME!" "PICK ME!"
he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those
voices
again!!!!"
then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in
here!"
Sasuke
stared in sheer disbelief.
"HOW
COULD YOU NARUTO? MY POOR TOMATO JUICE!"