A/N Well, I was on the way back from work, with my dad driving when this story hit me :3 So uhmn, yeah. Enjoy, bishies!

Couples that are likely to appear: Shika/Neji Sasu/Naru Those are the most likely, but don't hold me to it. I don't have this whole thing planned. So I also don't know how many chapter's it'll have :3 It's also kinda AU, 'cos Sasuke's come back.

This will have bad language. I'm going to re-emphasize that. THIS HAS VERY BAD LANGUAGE!!!!! OK!!!!

There. Now, on with the story! Oh, wait. Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto, not me. I make no money :3 Songs used in this: Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright, I Want Candy - The Bangles. I got the breathing exercises from realize that there is some confusion as to if buses and instruments like electric guitars and such exist, but this is primarily an AU story following the manga as close as possible. That means that they live in their world, but with modern day technology like amps and mics and stuff. Sorry for the confusion XD;;

Neji had been standing outside the Hokage's mission room for what felt like an hour now. Glancing at his watch, he realized that only twenty five minutes had passed and that he was still too early. Neji closed his eyes and sighed before sitting down on one of the chairs screwed into the wall, sinking into a meditation so deep, it was as if he was asleep.

Or, as a certain Uzumaki Naruto thought, dead.

A loud scream and a sharp slap to the face brought the unaware Hyuuga quickly back to the present as Naruto jumped onto him at lightning speed and delievered these gifts to him.

"NEJI! ARE YOU ALIVE?! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE!? NEJI? NE-"

Neji clamped his hand over Naruto's gaping and extremely annoying mouth giving him the best Hyuuga glare he could muster while he raised his other hand and tried to shove the blond boy of him.

"You're an idiot. Have you never heard of meditation?"

"Nrfgh! Dommph lukh ah muh li ah!"

Neji quickly removed his hand, wiping the drool from Naruto's mouth across a convenient orange sleeve as the whiskered boy shouted out his disapproval at being shoved off. Neji let out a disgruntled huff of air and tried to ignore Naruto.

"Am I disturbing something?"

The two startled ninja quickly turned to the voice coming from the doorway where a sleepy looking boy with a high pony tail was standing. Neji blinked.

"Disturbing something, Nara-san?"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

"Well... There seemed to be a lot of shouting going on, and Naruto was sitting on your lap."

Neji's frown deepened as he stood up and crossed his arms, facing the smirking nin.

"I was meditating when this idiot leapt on me screaming. There was nothing... Provocative about that."

Neji could feel his face burning up as he turned around and strode into the Hokage's office, glaring at Shizune and Tsunade before sitting down, daring anyone to mention the disturbance that probably the whole building would've heard a few seconds earlier.

Tsunade had an infuriating smile as she beckoned Shikamaru and Naruto into the room.

"We're waiting for Sasuke, Lee and Shino. When they arrive, I'll brief you on your new mission."

They sat in silence until Sasuke coolly walked in and sat down, dipping his head in respect.

"Shino and Lee are on their way."

"Che. Take your time, bastard!"

Sasuke glared at Naruto.

"Shut it, dumb ass."

Naruto jumped up, fists clenched. Tsunade slammed her hands down on the table.

"Hey! Sit down, Naruto!"

Naruto froze. He quickly turned to Tsunade.

"But, 'Baa-chan!-"

"No buts! Sit!"

Naruto pouted and sat down, glaring at his smirking rival.

Neji felt decidedly awkward. He knew that Sasuke and Naruto fought constantly, but everyone had called it friendly banter and he had never witnessed it first hand. To him, it sounded like there were going to be broken bones before long. Ever since Sasuke had come back from Sound, there had been this lingering coldness about him that no-one but Naruto could break.

The slowly rising tension disappeared as Lee burst into the room with Shino following more sedately behind.

"GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY! I HOPE YOU ALL SLEPT WELL IN THE THROES OF YOUTH! I AM SORRY THAT I AM LATE! I WILL NEVER ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN AGAIN, OR I WILL HOP A THOUSAND LAPS AROUND KONOHA, ON ONE HAND!"

"Rare species of Dragonfly."

Tsunade nodded as the two shinobi sat down.

"Right. I'll fill you in now. As you know, Mist has become more and more agressive and there are several A rank missing nin that are known to be hiding there. Well, they've formed a group that we don't know the name of, but they've been selectively killing."

Neji leant forward, interested.

"They've only been killing young men with a musical talent. Why the hell they're doing this, we don't know. That's what we need you to find out. We need you to collect the information doing whatever it takes to get close to them. Get them drunk, evesdrop, whatever. Then, once you've got the nessesscery information kill them there and then or ask to send in reinforcements. Got it?"

Everyone nodded.

"Now, questions?"

Shikamaru raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"How do we get into that circle of people?"

Tsunade smiled.

"Well, the best plan would be for you to form a "Band" and perform your way to Mist, gaining support until you're an irresistable target to the missin nin. It should be relatively easy as you're all young men and in your own rights, geniuses."

Sasuke scoffed and looked pointedly at Naruto.

"Naruto has a huge reserve of chakra and is the key componant in the dynamic you need to create, Sasuke. But before I go any further I need you to do something for me."

She turned on her swivel chair and switched on a small CD player.

"Memorize this!"

A soft, lilting tune began to play.

I heard there was a secret chord that David played,

And it pleased the Lord,

But you don't really care for music, do you?

It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth,

The minor fall, the major lift,

The baffled king composing hallelujah.

Hallelujah, hallelujah,

Hallelujah, hallelujah.

Tsunade reached over and turned it off.

"Memorized? Right. Is there anyone here who really, really can't sing?"

Shino slowly raised his hand.

"Fair enough. Ok, Shikamaru, stand up."

"... I'm not singing."

Tsunade smiled sweetly.

"It's an order from the Hokage. Now sing, lazy-ass."

Shikamaru sighed and got to his feet, muttering about troublesome women before closing his eyes and opening his mouth. He sang it perfectly, from note to note. Tsunade frowned.

"Good. That's very good. But there's no emotion. Ok, Lee, you try."

Lee jumped up and started to bellow his way through the song before Tsunade waved her hand hurriedly at him, trying to get him to stop.

"Lee, you're missing notes. Don't look so down, you were doing better than most people would."

Lee grinned and sat down.

"Naruto?"

Naruto stood up and started to sing. He was doing well, melodies pouring from him as his voice climbed higher and higher,

And then broke with a loud squeak and a drop of several octaves. Neji snorted and Sasuke down right snickered as Naruto turned bright red and hurriedly sat down, looking like a kicked puppy.

"It's OK Naruto! You did better than me!"

"Thanks, Lee. You were awesome though."

Lee beamed again.

"Alright, alright. Sasuke, your go."

"Hnn."

Sasuke stood up and opened his mouth. Neji inwardly grinned. After doing extensive research on the Uchiha's, he had found that every single one of them was a semi-tone to a tone flat, no matter what they sang. He was looking forward to this.

Sasuke was stopped five seconds into his rendition, even earlier than Lee.

"Sasuke-teme! You're worse than me!"

Naruto was practically rolling on the floor in tears of laughter.

"Shut the hell up!"

"You're like, three notes flat!"

"I said shut the hell up, you blonde freak!"

Tsunade intervened before there was an actual fight in her office.

"Ok, Ok! Neji."

A sudden spasm of nervousness grasped his gut and twisted it. He slowly rose to his feet and inhaled deeply, recalling the exact melody.

"I heard there was a secret chord that David played,

And it pleased the Lord,

But you don't really care for music... Do you?"

He could feel the notes and lyrics welling up inside him and pouring out in a waterfall of feeling and sound. He felt overwhelmed and dizzy, the room was spinning and he could feel his voice climbing higher and higher, the emotion dripping from the words as he rolled them around his mouth and released them into the waiting air.

"It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth,

The minor fall, the major lift,

The baffled king composing hallelujah...

Hallelujah, hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah..."

Neji's opened his eyes as the last note softely died away, startled because he couldn't remember shutting them as he drew in breath after breath, trying to slow his racing heart. Everyone was sitting silently, staring at him. Neji inwardly cursed. He must've been really awful, maybe even worse than the Uchiha and that was why they didn't stop him, because it was so terrible and -

"We have a lead singer!"

Neji blinked.

"What?!"

"What do you mean, what? That was awesome, dattebyo! That was like... Amazing! Where did you learn to sing like that? You should be a singer!"

Tsunade grinned at Naruto's outburst before turning to Neji.

"That was perfect, Neji. It was in tune, breath taking and had the exact amount of emotion needed. You're the lead singer."

Her smile dissapeared.

"And therefore the most likely target. You are going to be the basic bait for them, luring them in and finding out as much as possible before taking them out. If we knew more about this it would be a basic infiltration mission but as it stands we need you to be as believeable as possible. Do you accept this?"

Neji nodded, feeling shocked and a little dazed.

"Good! Now, we need someone to play drums, keyboard, guitar, bass and a tech. Any preferences?"

Shikamaru raised his hand.

"I can already play the piano, so I'll do keyboard."

"I wanna do guitar, dattebyo!"

"Drums are the instument of youth! Inspiring the driving force of joy and the beat of the heart! Please, allow me the honor of drumming!"

Sasuke and Shino looked at each other.

"Tech."

"Hnn. Guess I'm bass then."

Tsunade clapped her hands.

"Brilliant! Now, we need a name that's going to appeal to the fourteen to twenty one age group as that's the general type these nins go for. Suggestions?"

There was a moment or two of silent contemplation before Shikamaru, once again, raised his hand.

"Attention Deficit Disorder?"

Neji slowly thought it through. It had a ring to it and would certainly appeal to the designated year group.

"Shorten it to one word, though. It'll look better then."

Shikamaru nodded at Neji.

"Hn. Is there anything else?"

"Just one more thing. I've managed to arrange a tour bus, body guards-"

"We don't need BODY guards, 'Baa-chan!"

"It's for appearences, Naruto! Now, as I was saying... Oh, and a whole new wardrobe. Meet tomorrow morning at eight by the front gate, Shikamaru is Team Leader. That is all."

The six ninja nodded and disappeared in a poof of chakra smoke and displaced air. Tsunade turned to Shizune with a small frown.

"Did I make the right choice?"

Shizune nodded.

"Hyuuga-san's a wonderful singer and I'm sure that they can all look after themselves. I wouldn't worry. The worst that'll happen is that there'll be a fall out within the band."

Tsunade laughed.

"You're right. Sake time!"

Shizune rolled her eyes.

--------------------------

By eight AM next morning there was a fine drizzle and they sky was dark with clouds, low slung and promising heavier rain. Neji, Sasuke, Shino and Lee were all huddled under a tree which was not giving sufficient cover. They'd been told to dress light as they had whole new wardrobes and to just bring a few personal possesions as Tsunade had arranged for a whole load of rock star like items to be placed for them. Even though Neji was trained to deal with lack of personal space and much worse living conditions he still wasn't looking forward to spending three weeks cooped up in the bus with five other people. Looking over at Sasuke and Shino, it was obvious they were thinking the same thing.

Ten minutes later Naruto and Shikamaru joined them, shivering slightly from the cold.

"Alright, listen up. On this trip, we're not ninja. That means no Byakugen, Sharingan, Bugs-bursting-out-of-skin, Kagebunshin, or super-human shows of power, because that would be troublesome to explain. Got it? Nothing. We're members of a band, so we have to act like one. We've got three long weeks ahead and in that time we've got to write a few of our own songs. Tsunade had her aides write eight, but they didn't have enough time to get the other four or so ready. We've also got to learn how to play the instruments at a professional level. Neji and I are sorted because we can both do what we need to, and Shino's got experience with computers. So you, Lee, Sasuke and Naruto are going to have to work harder than the rest of us. We've also got to act like best friends. Casual buddies don't usually form a band. It's troublesome, but we've got to be close. And lucky, lucky us, we have three weeks on a tiny moving vehichle to do that. Now, there's four bunks and one double so we'll have to allocate two people to the double and have everyone else in the singles. It'll be no problem."

Neji was feeling more miserable than before. Sharing a bus was bad enough, but a bed?! That was just mean.

"How will we work out who's sharing the double, Nara-san?"

"Shikamaru, Neji. We're best friends, remember? No "Sans". I don't think we should even really bother with "Kun"'s either... It's simple. We'll just draw straws. The two with the shortest one will share the double."

Neji nodded.

"Oh, one more thing. I hardly think I need to tell you all this, but as we're living in such close quarters, we've got to keep it clean. I know that most bands trash their bus, but while we're getting there I think we should keep it clean. Troublesome, even though we'll all chip in. But you need to keep your hygine up. I'm sure none of you want to share a bed with a biological hazard. When we get near Mist, we can trash the bus to make it look more authentic."

At that moment, there was a loud honk and a black bus pulled up beside them, ADD sprayed on the side in a raggedy font.

"Well... Here's our ride. Say goodbye to personal space."

One by one they climbed into the bus, waving a miserable hello to the cheery bus driver before turning to the inside.

"Wow..."

There was a collective sigh of amazement. Half way down the bus, there was what seemed like two walls seperating the two sections of the bus from each other. On the driver's side of the bus was a collection of sofas with a guitar, bass guitar, keyboard, computer, amps and a mike all lying on them. Attached into the floor next to it was a drum kit that could be screwed and unscrewed for concerts. A little further back was a fridge, cupboards, tables and chairs, all attached to the ground. Silently they wandered through the partition, greeted with the sight of four tiny bunks, two to each wall and a double bed that looked like it would fit one and a quarter people.

Neji turned to Shikamaru.

"Nara-... Shikamaru, that bed is tiny. I don't think two will fit."

Shikamaru eyed up the bed.

"No, two'll fit. Just. It'll be a squeeze, but no-one's sleeping on the floor or couch. It's too uncomfortable and it'll cause unrest and unhappiness within the group."

"Hnn. Where's the bathroom?"

Neji froze. He needed a bathroom. He had to share two rooms and a bed with six other nin, so there was no WAY he could do this without a bathroom. Nu-uh. Not happening.

"Ah! Found it, dattebyo!"

Naruto had run off and seemingly asked the driver. Behind the little partition seperating the driver from the rest of them, there was steps down to a small but clean bathroom, equipped with toilet; sink and a shower. Neji sighed in relief.

"You boys go grab yer bunks, an' then we'll get movin'."

The bus driver had a rough but gentle voice which contrasted with his great bulk. The six shinobi nodded and trooped back to the bunks.

"Let's get the troublesome buisness of choosing bunks out of the way."

Shikamaru reached into his back pocket and withdrew six strips of paper, two shorter than the rest. He turned his back on them and arranged the paper so that they all looked equal. He held his hand out to Shino who drew one of the long ones. Neji picked the one nearest to him, sighing when it came out shorter than Shino's. Fate had once again dealt him an annoying hand.

Naruto, Sasuke and Lee all managed to pick the longer ones leaving Shikamaru with a short one and a scowl on his face.

"How troublesome... Looks like we're sharing, Neji."

"So it would seem."

"Right, go pick your bunks."

After a few moments of scuffling everyone had their chosen bunks and were standing around, not sure what to do next. Shikamaru was inspecting the walls as Neji sighed again and took another look at the double. It really was tiny.

"There are cupboards here with our names on them. We should put our stuff in them before we do anything else."

They nodded and went over to their designated closets, pulling them open.

"What the hell!?"

Neji pulled out what looked like a single strip of pale bluey green leather out of his cupboard, eyes flashing with anger and confusion. There was a moment of shocked silence before Naruto, Sasuke and Shikamaru burst out into loud guffaws.

"I-It's a skirt!"

"Yes, Naruto. I can see that. Why is it in my closert?!"

Neji yanked it out and shook it, quickly bending down and picking out the scrap of paper that had fallen out of it.

"Read it out, dattebyo!"

Neji cleared his throat.

"Neji, I forgot to mention this but the group of nin tend to go for the more feminine members of the band. Since you are the lead singer, putting you as the feminine one increases your attractiveness as bait and will hopefully make them act sooner. - Tsunade."

Neji's fists clenched around the paper, veins popping as he felt his composure crack and start to shatter.

"I. Am. Not. Dressing. Like. A. GIRL!"

"Hey, Neji-chan. Let's see what else you've got."

Sasuke leapt over Naruto and flung open the closert, pulling out more skirts, gothic tops and bags of accesories before stopping with a jerk.

"... You are not going to believe this."

With an evil grin only Orochimaru could rival, Sasuke reached deeper, and pulled out five short dresses, each trailing miles of ribbons, lace and petticoats. Sasuke held one up to the silently fuming Hyuuga.

"How do you even get into one of these?"

"Tht's the most troublesome looking item of clothing I've ever seen."

Naruto's eyes were shining with mischeif.

"I think you've got to put it over your head, get your arms in the sleeves, do up the ribbons and lace and the... Is that a corset?"

Sasuke's mouth was twitching.

"There are shoes and stockings in there too."

By now Naruto had half fallen over and was weakly clutching Shikamaru, laughing so hard it looked like he was having spasms. Neji was furious.

"I. Am. Not. Wearing. Any. Of. That."

Shikamaru snorted.

"Awh, come on princess. Let's get you all prettied up!"

Naruto fell over.

"No!"

"Come on, dattebyo!"

"You couldn't get me in that thing if you tried."

Sasuke held up a small bag.

"Tsunade's left you a shaving kit, too."

At this Shikamaru started laughing, joining the spasaming Naruto on the floor, tears falling from Naruto's eyes. Neji's narrowed with rage and wounded pride as Lee started to give him a speech.

"I think it's a wonderful opportunity for you to show your feminie side, Neji! You should embrace your nobility and grace! As Gai-Sensei once said, it is very important for a ninja to be delicate as well as deadly! Wearing this will be a great boost for your abilitys! I almost envy you! Use this chance to the fullest!"

Neji couldn't bear it anymore. His brain felt like it was swimming and he knew his cheeks were crimson from embarrasment and anger as Lee stuck up his thumb in his infamous Good-Guy pose. He couldn't bear it anymore.

"It's obvious that Tsunade feels that I am the only one here who can do the most for this mission. Now, if you'll excuse me."

And with that, Neji turned and stormed down the length of the bus, stomping down the steps and walking into the bathroom with a bang, locking the door after him. Shikamaru drew in breath after breath to try and calm himself down.

"Mah... Troublesome... We shouldn't've laughed so much."

Naruto was still giggling weakly.

"Yeah... I guess we were too harsh..."

Sasuke nodded slowly.

"Hnn. I wouldn't want to wear that stuff."

Lee chimed in.

"Plus he's got to shave his manly leg hair and put on make-up!"

"Then sing."

Shikamaru nodded to Shino and Lee.

"I'll go apologize."

Naruto grinned and clapped him on the back.

"When he comes out we'll all apologize."

"Yosh!"

Sasuke just nodded.

"Hey... We don't all have get up like that, do we?"

The three boys paled and ran over to their closerts, yanking them open and sighing in relief once they realized that no dresses or skirts were going to jump out at them. Just several items of very tight clothing in lurid colours.

"... It's not as bad as Neji's..."

Shikamaru held up a pair of black and lime green striped leather trousers and nodded.

"Yeah... I'm going to go talk to him."

Shikamaru stuck his hands in his pockets and sauntered down the carpeted hallway, waving to the driver who informed them that they were going to get moving now. Shikamaru nodded and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Neji?"

Neji jumped. He was sitting on the floor, arms crossed and glowering at the opposite wall as he picked up the pieces of his crumbling composure and assured himself that no-one from Konoha was ever going to see him in that hidious thing.

"Neji, are you alright?"

Neji made a noncomitted grunt.

"Well... The driver say's were going to get moving any second now. So watch out."

Neji grunted again.

"Open the door?"

"No."

A loud roar drowned out Shikamaru's next words as the driver revved the engine and started to move the bus forward. Neji gripped the sides of the tub. After a moment or two the noise of the engine died down and the rocking motion of the vehicle slowed. Neji slowly let go of the tub.

"Neji, please open the door."

Neji made a low growling noise, strode over to the door, unlocked it and flung it open.

"What do you want now, Nara?"

Shikamaru winced and brought his hand up to the back of his head.

"I came here to apologize, Neji."

"Hmph."

"I'm sorry for teasing you about the stuff you have to wear and for laughing at you. I now realize how humiliating it must be for you as you have to sing, dress like that and then be the main target."

Neji sniffed.

"I won't laugh at you again?"

Neji crossed his arms, his coolness regained.

"I should think not."

Shikamaru let out a lazy grin.

"Maah, I'm glad thats sorted. Let's go check out those instruments, then."

Shikamaru turned around and walked back to the couches, plonking himself down next to the huge keyboard, switching it on and experimentally hitting one or two of the keys before playing a simple rendition of some nursery rhyme. Shikamaru grinned and hit a couple of buttons, memorizing the different sounds it played. Naruto, Sasuke, Lee and Shino all emerged from the bedroom looking slightly sheepish, sitting down next to their designated instruments. Naruto walked up to Neji and put on a hopeful grin.

"We're all sorry for laughing at you, Neji. We won't do it again!"

Neji nodded and Naruto skipped off, picking up the shiny black and orange guitar before looking up at everyone.

"Er... How do I play a guitar?"

Neji walked over and took it out of Naruto's hands, plugged it in and waited until the static died away.

"Like this."

Neji showed Naruto how to hold the guitar correctly and positioned his hands over the G chord.

"Now, strum with the plectrum."

Naruto took the small piece of plastic from Neji's fingers and dragged it across the strings, grinning as a hesitant but correct chord was played.

"Hey, how do you know how to play guitar, Neji?"

"It was a training program. Someone played a tune on the guitar and Hinata and I had to memorize it and play it back."

"Ahh! Do you know how to play anything else?"

"No. I memorized it perfectly first time, so I didn't need to continue with the training. Music instruments are not what a Hyuuga would usually fight with."

Sasuke stood up and walked over to the DVD player, rumaging through the DVDs until he found one that looked promising.

"Hn. I found a music video with all the instruments we're playing in it."

Shino looked up from his computer.

"I've found sheet music."

Shikamaru nodded and turned to Shino.

"Print out a few songs that use all of our instruments. What video's that, Sasuke?"

"Basic tutorial for bass and guitar. There are other ones for drums, keyboard and singing too."

"Put it on."

Sasuke slid the disk into the drive and hit the play button. A cheery, annoying voice started to talk.

"Hello and welcome to Band DIY! My name is Cynthia and I'm going to show you how to make a band!"

Neji winced at the screeching sound of her voice.

"First off, let's start with the guitar and bass! If you have your instruments beside you, pick them up and get into a space with lots of room! We don't want any injuries now!"

Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other before grabbing their instuments, plugging them in and standing four feet apart, facing the TV.

"I am so going to beat you, bastard!"

"In your dreams, dumb ass!"

Naruto turned to Sasuke but before he could do anything, the voice rang out again.

"Ok! Let's start with the guitarist! Feel free to stop this DVD at anytime to practice, or if it is going too fast. Now, place your fingers for the G chord, like so."

A picture popped up on the TV and Naruto quickly placed his fingers over the correct strings.

"Now, with the pick, strum like so."

The TV played the G chord six times before stopping.

"Now it's your turn."

Naruto played the chords back perfectly, looking over and grinning at the serious looking Uchiha.

"See? I'm awesome! The best here!"

Sasuke scoffed.

"It was hardly difficult!"

Once again the grating voice rang out. Neji closed his eyes and sank into another meditation, calculating how long his current clothes would last before he had to go and wear one of the monstrosities hiding in his closert. He calculated around three days, provided nothing happened to them, but he knew he had to start wearing them sooner rather than later as they looked difficult to sing in and probably were very uncomfortable to wear. Neji inwardly sighed. He'd start off in one of those disgusting skirts and then move onto the dresses. An hour and twenty minues later a slightly sweaty blonde flopped down next to him, the bass and guitar tutorial over as Sasuke did the same on the other couch.

Neji turned to Shikamaru with an eyebrow raised. Shikamaru grinned and nodded his head in an affermative.

"Alright. You two were really good, we'll have you up to professional level within the week. Lee, it's your turn."

Lee had been sitting there, quivering with excitement and now he jumped up with a loud, triumphant cry.

"YATTA! Finally!"

He leapt over to the drums and sat down on the stool, grabbing the two sticks and waiting eagerly for Cythia's A-Thousand-Years-Of-Pain voice.

"Lee, no leaping over sofas and people, remember?"

Lee gasped and then nodded, looking ashamed.

"Hello again! We are now going to move onto a very important part of a band. The drums!"

"ALRIGHT!"

"Lee, shut it!"

"Ahh, sorry, sorry, Shikamaru!"

"Now, this is the tomtom, the snare, the crash cymbal..."

Neji closed his eyes and sank into another meditation. This time working out the pros and cons of having to share the bed with Shikamaru. He knew Lee kicked and Naruto was probably one of the types who spread himself all over the bed, taking up all the room and covers and generally being annoying. Shino would've been bearable, as long as no bugs were creeping around and getting into his clothes and hair. He was completely indifferent to Sasuke and Shikamaru didn't seem like he'd have any habits to watch out for. Unless lazyness was catching in close proximity...

Neji was quickly brought out of this thoughts as a drum stick flew into the back of his head, hitting him with such force that it snapped in two. There was a shocked moment of silence within the rumbling bus.

"NEJI!? NEJI!? NEJI, CAN YOU HEAR ME, DATTE-"

Neji, once again shoved Naruto off him as the idiotic blonde leapt onto his lap, grabbing Neji's shirt.

"Naruto, get off me. A drumstick across the head is not going to cause me any damage, let alone kill me!"

"NEJI MY ETERNAL RIVAL! I AM SO SORRY! IT WAS NOT AN INTENTIONAL ATTACK ON YOUR PERSON! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I SHALL RUN TO THE GROCERS EVERY MORNING AND PREPARE YOU A WONDEFUL, YOUTHFUL BREAKFAST AND CLEAN YOUR WEAPONS AND MAKE SURE NO-ONE DISTURBS YOU WHILE YOU TRAIN!"

Neji sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Lee, it's fine. Don't worry."

Sasuke's lips twiched as Shikamaru drawled out an explanation.

"He got over excited. The woman told him they were going on to drum solos."

Neji rolled his eyes at Shikamaru, warned Naruto never to jump on him again even if he was dead and told Lee to watch where he flung his drumsticks. Lee nodded and drew out another stick, finishing his tutorial without another mishap.

"Skip the keyboard bit, it's too troublesome and I know it all."

Sasuke nodded and hit the next button.

"Now you have all your instruments, you need a lead singer!"

Neji slowly stood up, nervousness twisting his gut again. He had no idea why he still got nervous before he sang, it wasn't as if it was life threatining or anything.

"Now, we're going to do some simple breathing exercises. It is very important for a singer to breathe properly as he or she sings. A singer does not need to 'force' or 'push' air through the vocal chords to produce a good strong sound, doing so creates too much pressure against the chords, preventing them from operating correctly which can cause damage to the voice. The stomach area should move naturally inward toward the end of the breath and the stomach should not be 'sucked in'. Instead the abdominal area should remain expanded to the level it was when you inhaled and allowed to gradually decrease naturally at the end of the breath.

This is where control comes into play - the singer expands the lungs by inhaling and 'controls' the amount of air expelled when singing a note by allowing the muscle support system to remain expanded - this doesn't mean the stomach is pushed out, rather that it is blown up like a balloon when the air goes in and the singer slows down the natural rate at which it goes down. Breathing correctly uses the whole of the lungs so that more air is available, the singer then uses the natural action of the muscles (diaphragm and abdominals) surrounding the lungs to control the amount of air that is exhaled when singing."

Neji was trying to remember all of this as the womans voice went on and on.

"The following exercise may make you feel tired at first, but keep at it. To find out if you are breathing correctly, place a hand on your belly button. This area should expand first when you breathe in and then spread upwards until your chest is expanded but don't lift the shoulders or push the stomach out. Practice the following exercise."

Neji narrowed his eyes at the woman who was obviously trying to humiliate him and placed his hand on his stomach, breathing in. He threw the TV a satisfied smirk as his body responded the way it was supposed to.

"Now, lie flat on your back and place your hands on your waist, fingers pointing towards your belly button."

Neji's smirk faltered as Naruto snorted from somewhere behind him. With what Neji hoped was great grace and dignity he lowed himself on the floor and lay down, placing his hands on his waist.

"Focus on filling up your stomach from the bottom to the top taking a slow deep breath. The aim is not to fill yourself to bursting but to inhale enough air so that you can feel the difference between a shallow breath taken when breathing from the chest. You should feel your stomach rise and your hands being raised gently up and outward until you feel your chest expanding. The expansion is not only at the front of the body but also to the sides and back as well."

"It looks like you've suddenly gotten fat, Neji."

Neji's eyebrow twitched at Naruto's remark.

"Breath out slowly to a count of five."

Shutting out Naruto's sniggers he completed the exercises without mishap before getting to his feet and waiting for his next set of instructions.

"Posture and movement for singers are a crucial part of any tutors teaching. Part of being able to sing well includes the ability to be aware of your body, identify and correct problems that arise due to incorrect posture. However, this does not mean that your posture needs to be perfect!"

Well, this didn't sound like it was going to be too difficult or humiliating.

"Standing naturally ensuring the head, neck and shoulders are relaxed is the correct posture for singing. Whilst most people do this automatically, there are others whose posture has become lazy, or who have developed bad habits that can inhibit their singing which is why we've provided some guidelines, do's and dont's and exercises to help improve your posture."

"Hey, isn't posture like when girls put books on their heads and walk around?"

Shikamaru's lips twitched.

"That's a small part of it but it basically means standing up straight."

Neji ignored them. He already had perfect posture and therefore didn't think he needed this much, although there may be a snippet of vital information.

"Do be relaxed and natural, keep your movements fluid, keep your chin level, keep your knees loose, keep your head up, keep your shoulders sloping and relaxed, keep your toes pointed forward with your weight on heels and soles, keep the front of your neck loose and don't stretch it, keep abdominal muscles relaxed, keep your back muscles relaxed and smile!"

Naruto snorted again.

"Smile? Neji?"

Neji already had most of that naturally. All he had to do was keep relaxed and not tense up.

"Don't drop or hunch your shoulders, move stiffly or jerkily, drop or tuck in your chin when trying to sing low notes, stretch your head upward when trying to sing high notes and don't strain or push your abdominal muscles."

Simple.

"Now, let's go on to some exercises! For these exercises you will need: A long mirror, preferably full length, and a largish book of medium weight. Make sure you are wearing comfy loose clothing and flat shoes, or bare feet. You also need a flat long surface i.e., hallway or enough room to walk several paces, a friend who can observe and make constructive comments and notes. Patience and a good sense of humour are also required!"

Maybe not so simple. Neji paused the DVD and turned to his team mates.

"We don't have a mirror."

"I'm sure you can do without one."

"A large book?"

"The laptop will do, won't it? We've got enough room, your clothes qualify if you take off your shoes and we'll make the comments."

"Yeah. All you're missing is the good sense of humour!"

Neji glared at Naruto.

"I have a sense of humour. It just doesn't quite stoop to your levels of idiocity."

Naruto glowered back at Neji as he smirked triumphantly. Shino wordlessly handed over the laptop from where he was sitting as Neji kicked off his shoes and turned back to the TV, resuming the DVD.

"Place the mirror in a position at the end of the hallway or room where you can see the whole of or at the least the top half of your body. Study how you stand and compare with the Do's and Dont's above and make adjustments to your posture if necessary."

Neji paused it again.

"Can I move the TV so it's next to the sofas? That way I can see the TV and you."

Lee jumped up and quickly repositioned the television next to the sofa before sitting down again as Neji started it up.

"Stand at the end of the walk space and walk naturally towards the mirror observing your movements and posture as you walk. When walking your weight should be mainly on the balls of your feet, so your heels just lightly touch the floor, with the majority of movement from the hips and legs. The upper body should remain straight, relaxed and not 'swing' from side to side. Even if it seems that you are standing and moving with the correct posture it is difficult without an experienced observer who will notice bad habits that may appear normal to you."

Neji closed his eyes for a second, steeling himself for what was probably some of the most humiliating moments of his life. He turned around and walked forward until he was facing the bathroom before slowly turning around and walking back. Shikamaru nodded.

"Good, but you swing your hips a little. Do it again."

Neji scowled and re-did the exercise.

"Ok, you're not swinging now."

"Exercise one. Place the book centrally on the top of your head and turn your head slowly to the left, return to center then repeat the exercises turning your head to the right. The head movements should be smooth with eyes ahead, chin level, head, neck and shoulders relaxed. If the exercise is done correctly the book will remain in place. Repeat this exercise until you can do it several times without the book falling off."

"Hah! I told you that's what this was all about!"

Neji grabbed the laptop and balanced it on top of his head, following the exercise and smirking as it stuck to his head perfectly.

"Exercise two. Stand at the end of the walk space and place the book centrally on the top of your head. Walk normally towards the mirror, observing your posture as you walk. If your posture is correct and your movements are smooth then the book will remain in place! Repeat this exercise until you can walk the length of the space without the book falling."

He slowly walked backwards and forwards, the laptop not wobbling once, even when the bus hit a rut and dipped suddenly.

"When you have mastered your breathing and posture, the following singing exercises will help you on the path to improving and understanding your voice. If you're having a bad day or feel tense and stressed, this can affect your practices and performance. If it all starts going horribly wrong, take a break, relax or do something else and try again later. Stand with your shoulders relaxed, arms by your side. Breathe in slowly but do not suck in your stomach! Sing these phrases after me to improve diction."

Neji took several slow breaths.

"I really love to sing, I really love to sing, I really love to sing, I really love to sing!"

Neji twitched but opened his mouth and repeated the phrase up and down the scale.

"Fluffy floppy puppy, fluffy floppy puppy, fluffy floppy puppy, fluffy floppy puppy!"

Neji was going to hunt down this woman, slice out her eyes and feed them to the pidgeons. He sang the phrase, blatently ignoring Naruto's sniggering.

"Lolli, lolli, lolli, lolli pop, lolli, lolli, lolli, lolli pop, lolli, lolli, lolli, lolli pop, lolli, lolli, lolli, lolli pop!"

Now this was just going too far.

"Damn, I wish we had a camcorder!"

Neji shot a look of pure death over to Naruto before reluctantly repeating the woman's stupid phrase.

"If you practise these everyday your breathing will improve and you'll find it a lot easier to sing! Now, we're going to play a short phrase of music a couple of times and then we'll forfeit the voice and have the lyrics running along the bottom. Sing along to the recording until you're sure you've memorized the words."

The opening notes started playing as Shikamaru grinned.

"I know this. It's I Want Candy."

Neji turned to Shikamaru, looking horrified.

"What?!"

"It's about to start!"

Neji quickly turned back to the screen.

I know a guy who's tough but sweet,

He's so fine he can't be beat!

Got everything that I desire!

Sets the summer sun on fire!

I want candy! I want candy!

Neji turned to Shikamaru.

"Do I have to sing that? It's terrible and makes me sound like a female prostitute!"

Naruto snickered.

"It fits. You've got to sing like one then dress like one!"

Neji turned on his glare and was about to make some snarky reply to Naruto but, once again, the woman's voice rang out.

"Alright! I think that's enough now. We'll play it through some more. Don't forget to keep playing it until you know the lyrics!"

Neji hit the skip button. He had memorized them the first time he heard them.

"Do you have it memorized, lead singer? Then let's go!"

The drum solo started up and Neji ordered his body to relax and adopt the correct position, filling his lungs like he'd been told.

"I know a guy who's tough but sweet,

He's so fine he can't be beat!"

Once again Neji could feel the words and music welling up inside him like a golden river, pouring from the bottom of his soul. It didn't matter that he hated the song and it didn't really make sense, he could feel what he needed to do, voice rising and shooting off the higher-than-high notes, resonating with the lower ones and flowing out of his mouth.

"Got everythin' that I desire!

Sets the summer sun on fi-ah!"

He didn't even need to look at the screen. The words came without even having to think about them, knowing exactly when to breathe and when to get louder and softer, all on instinct.

"I want candy! I want candy!"

Once again, he opened his eyes that had slid shut and looked over his shoulder to the five other boys who were sitting there staring at him like he was some sort of new, never been seen before animal.

"I, uh... Was it really bad?"

Neji could feel his face warming up again.

"Hell no. Jeez, Neji. You're really something."

Naruto joined in with Shikamaru.

"Yeah! You sang it better than the original woman! How come you've never sung before?!"

"Well, uh... I sang in the Hyuuga choir when I was younger once..."

Naruto nodded enthusiastically.

"Now that you mention it, I remember you telling us that ages ago!"

Neji nodded.

"So not only is my eternal rival a genius, he's also an amazing musician! My determination to beat you has strenghened! If I can't beat you by-"

"Yes, ok Lee."

Lee stopped mid rant and looked down dejectedly.

"Hn. What do we do now?"

"We could sleep."

"Or eat ramen!"

"New insects."

"Training!"

"I agree with Lee."

Neji sighed. It was going to be a long, long mission.

A/N Wow. This is a long first chapter XD! I hope you like it! Reviews make me want to write more :D

Poor Neji. I don't hate him, he's my favourite character EVER. Seriously. I'm just really mean to him D:

-Sophie