Return in Kind
Chapter 1
She woke up to emptiness.
White. Blank. Nothing.
Empty.
As she carefully opened and shut her eyes repeatedly, the scene before her remained unchanging.
Where was her body? Where was her face? Where was she?
She lifted a hand before her face, staring at her back of her hand and her palm over and over again, before she committed it to memory.
Memory. Her memories.
White. Blank. Nothing.
Gently she brought both her hands up and cupped her face, molding her fingers to every dip and swell, over her eyes, her nose, her lips.
Whose face was this?
Her face. And she was…
Who was she?
She sat up in bed and looked around her surroundings. The room was very large, furnished with expensive and elaborate pieces. The windows stretched from ceiling to floor, allowing the silver moonlight to stream in.
The moon.
She was running through the forest, with only slivers of the silver moonlight lighting her way. Running. Running for her life. Running from-A sudden sharp pain went through her head, wringing a cry of pain from her lips. The sound was so foreign that it took her moment to realize that it was her voice. She placed her head between her hands, waiting for the nauseous pain to fade away.
Parting her lips she attempted to form words but her throat was so dry that her words sounded rusty and shaky.
"I am…"
"Awake! Oh thank goodness, you're finally awake!"
She watched in a daze as a small, black-haired woman swept into the room, her movements quick and excited. The woman dumped the small mountain of bandages and supplies on the floor and rushed over to her. "Oh finally! I can't believe this. I'll have to tell everyone as soon as possible! Oh, Endymion will be so relieved."
The small woman continued to chatter on, her eyes shining and her voice chipper.
"Um. Excuse me…" she hedged, her voice weak.
"… and considering everything that has happened so far, it's going to be a little difficult, but we'll all help you get through it all. No need to worry. Everything will be fine." Too caught up in her reassuring words, the woman did not hear.
She cleared her throat and tried again. "Please, miss."
"And I know you might be in shock, but you have to at least listen to Endymion. Give him a chance and hear him out." The woman now had a worried little crease between her brows as she bit her lip nervously. "I mean, if he hadn't-"
"Please! Wait!" Finally she caught the attention of the rambling woman. "I'm sorry for interrupting you like this, but please, tell me first- who are you?"
The woman's startled dark blue eyes flew to her face.
"What?" A little nervous smile broke out. "Serena, I know that you're frightened, but you can trust me. Now stop joking around. We'll get through this together and with everybody else."
But she wasn't paying attention to the woman's shaky words. "So… Serena… My name is Serena?"
Again a sharp pain slashed through her head as she tried to remember, but this time, the pain refused to clear. A pained cry released from her lips and she grabbed her head with both hands.
"Serena?" The woman's voice came out as a horrified whisper as she leaned closer to the bed. "Are you alright?"
"I. I. I don't know! What happened to me? What's wrong with me? Who are you? Who am I?"
"God Serena, if this is your idea of some kind of sick joke, I swear I'll…"
"No. Please. Help me." The pain was sickening, the heavy beating drumming against her temples. The pain rolled over her in thick, oily waves as she clenched her eyes shut tight. "Oh god. It hurts. My head. Please, help me."
"Serena! Oh god. Don't worry. Just lay back down. I'll go get your medicine. Take deep breaths. That's it. Serena. Serena?!"
The woman's cries slowly faded away as Serena succumbed to the beckoning darkness.
I am called… Serena…This time when she woke, the sun had replaced the moon, and light was spilling through the windows, basking the room under its gold embrace.
She came to much more quickly this time, as she shook off the last remnants of her drowsiness. She looked around the large and elegantly furnished room, taking in as much as she could, hoping that something would spark her memory. The gauzy curtains ruffled in the wind, and somewhere in the distance she heard the distant tinkling of chimes. The breeze felt cool and refreshing against her skin, still flushed from her deep sleep
Drawing back her covers, she shivered as the air brushed her bare legs and raised goose bumps. Carefully and slowly, as to not trigger the sharp, nauseating throb in her head, she slid out of the raised poster bed and walked down the steps.
She touched everything, the chairs, the small table beside the bed, the delicately jeweled lamp, the hairbrushes and assorted colorful bottles on the bureau, yet everything felt foreign beneath her hands. She caught an image hanging on the wall before her, and it took her a moment to realize that she was looking into a mirror and seeing her own face.
Serena stood there, entranced with the image of a woman who was supposed to be her. Long, silvery hair tumbled down her back and light blue eyes stared into her own. She was dressed in a comfortable silk nightgown that brushed her knees and left her arms and legs bare. Serena tentatively touched her face, as if to confirm that it was truly her reflection that she saw.
"I… My face… Who?" She felt a deep burden and distress within herself, that as her fingers explored the plains of her face, she could not recognize it. The face that she saw was a foreign as the furniture in this room.
What had happened to her?
Her swirling and confused thoughts came to a halt as a gentle knock on the door interrupted her. "Serena? It's Amy, remember? From before. Are you awake yet?"
Amy-- the dark haired woman from before. The one who'd first called her Serena.
The door slowly and silently opened, without even the slightest squeak and Amy walked in. "Oh, good, you're up? Are you sure you feel well enough to be walking around like this? Perhaps you should lie in bed for little while longer until you take your medicine."
Serena noticed that Amy carried a cup of some sort of steaming liquid, and eyed it suspiciously. "Plea- plea-," she cleared her rusty throat and tried again. "Please, tell me, where am I? Who are you? What happened?"
"You are home, but in the infirmary wing, and you are Serena. And I am your doctor, Amy Aquos. As to what happened…" the small woman hesitated. "Well, a lot happened and you will be told everything in due time, but for now, you still need much more rest." Catching the unsatisfied and apprehensive look on Serena's face, Amy hurried on. "But don't worry. Just know that you are safe now and nothing or no one can hurt you anymore. You might find it hard to believe right now, but you can trust everyone here."
Serena stared in bewilderment as Amy's eyes began to fill with tears. "We were-, I mean, are friends. I would do anything to protect you."
Serena didn't respond, but instead, directed her attention to the steaming cup Amy held in her hand and asked, "Is that for me?"
Startled at the abruptness of the question, Amy quickly dried her eyes and tried to ignore the fact that Serena hadn't believed her. "Ah. Yes. This is medicine for you. It should help speed up the healing process and get rid of any aches and pains you may be feeling. It's made of a combination of herbs rich in vitamins and minerals, and should get you to feel better in no time."
"I see." Serena still didn't accept the cup Amy offered, and instead, eyed it with uncertainty.
"What's wrong?" Realizing what Serena thought, Amy burst out laughing. "Heavens, Serena, I don't ever remember you being this paranoid."
"Neither do I," she said silently.
The awkward silence following thus stretched on, Amy's eyes distressed and Serena's just simply resigned. "Well now, don't worry, you will soon! Now, if you'd like to drink the tea, I'll leave it on the nightstand. It should ease some of the pain you feel, and make you a little drowsy. You really should rest more," Amy said brightly. "I'll leave you alone for now, but I'll be back in a few hours to check up on you, okay?"
Serena silently nodded, distantly staring out the window. The gardens were beautiful. Rich with green and overflowing with flowers, butterflies and hummingbirds zipped to and fro. The arches and trellis were fresh with spring flowers, the vines hanging down in elegant disarray. She found comfort in the garden, the peaceful Serena and beauty calming her, soothing her.
"Would it be possible…" Serena's abrupt words startled Amy, who was already outside and about to gently shut the door.
"Yes?"
"…for me to go out there?"
Amy followed the direction of Serena's eyes. "Well…" she hedged. "I really don't think you are feeling quite well enough yet…"
"Oh…" Serena couldn't keep the disappointed tone out of her voice. "I see." Another awkward silence followed, with Serena's eyes downcast and Amy nervously wringing her hands, her expression one of guilt.
"Well, perhaps if you drink your tea and promise to take a nap after your walk, you can go out for a bit. The fresh air and sunlight should do you well anyways."
"Okay." Serena quickly went for the cup of tea and without any hesitation, drank it all down. "Bleh."
Amy laughed at the distasteful look on Serena's face. "I know, it's rather bitter, but you should start feeling better very soon now." Even as she spoke, Serena could already feel the last hazes of gnawing pain begin to fade, and her body feeling more refreshed and energetic, rather than slow and lethargic.
"May I go out now?" Serena asked politely.
There's was no malice or sarcasm in her prim, polite question, but rather, absolutely informality. That just made it all the more worse for Amy. She'd rather have Serena's joking sarcasm than her cold, distanced self.
"That was the deal wasn't it? Come, Serena, let's go." Taking a hold of Amy's arm for support, the pair slowly headed out of the room. Serena was amazed at the size of the hallway. If it was any indication, the house as well must be gigantic as well. They passed room after room until finally they faced a set of tall, glass doors. The sunlight streamed in through the many windows and the handles were made of pure crystal. The heavy dark crimson curtains were pulled back to frame the doors, and the garden behind it.
As they stepped towards the crystalline doors, Serena could feel the many facets of the window panes reflecting the sunlight in unique and beautiful rainbow colors into the room and onto her body. The warmth comforted her, seeped into her skin, chasing off the icy fear and uncertainty that had crawled the surface of her body before. Together, they pushed open the doors and Serena was blinded for a moment by the brilliance of the sun. When the sunspots cleared and she was able to clearly absorb her surroundings, she felt her knees grow weak and the breath leave her body.
It was absolutely spectacular.
The land stretched on for what seemed to be miles, fading into the distance and the darkness of the forests beyond. Tall, majestic mountains capped with glittering icing proudly stood, so far that they appeared to be no more than an inch tall. The scent of roses was overwhelming. Vines twisted and wrapped around stone columns in a sensual dance, entwining themselves with ropes of ivy and roses. An elegantly marble-cut path led through a maze of a variety of flowers.
From cheery daisies to delicate orchids, the land seemed to overflow with flowers and trees. As the wind blew, Serena could hear the faint twinkle of chimes ringing, and the fresh, cool scent of the balmy afternoon refreshed her senses. The water of the large lake rippled, causing the lilies floating to rise up and down and the ducks to flap their wings in annoyance. A large wooden bridge stood raised above an area where the lake narrowed into a stream, the clear, crisp water making miniature waterfalls over the rocks. The water continued to run through a majority of the garden, twisting and weaving in some sort of elaborate pattern.
As Serena stepped down the grand, marble staircase with Amy at her side, she could feel her mouth fall open in awe, shock, and absolute, complete bliss. Although she didn't remember anything, she was certain that she could safely say that this was the most beautiful thing she had seen in her entire life. For the first time since she'd opened her eyes that moonlit night only to remember nothing, Serena felt happy, and safe. Comfort swelled in her chest and wrapped its warm arms around her body, enveloping her with security. She felt her lips curve in the first true smile and she laughed aloud in joy and elation.
Amy felt her eyes tear up upon seeing Serena smile for the first time in weeks. Her laugher was something that she had nearly forgotten, the pure and innocent sound a true blessing upon her ears. "Come Serena, I'll walk you to the bridge. It used to be one of your favorite spots."
Mutely, Serena followed after Amy, her eyes roving back and forth, trying to absorb as much of the landscape as possible. "This place… I… It's… Unbelievable." Her voice was soft, and barely above a whisper in wonder.
"Before… You used to spend most of your time out here. It's because of you and your hard work that this garden looks so spectacular. You designed and coordinated everything. Now, the Crystal Gardens are know worldwide, and people come from all over to see it."
"The… Crystal Gardens. Is that the name?" Serena asked inquisitively.
"Yes. It seemed to pathetic too call such a masterpiece just the "backyard" or the "gardens" so it was officially established and named the Crystal Gardens, because of the palace windows and all the crystal chimes."
"I just can't believe… I? I mean, this place, it's so… Unbelievable. How could I have…"
Amy laughed at the obvious disbelief shown plainly on Serena's face. "It's true. Before, the castle gardens were extravagant already, but for your wedding, there were a lot of changes and additions made to…" Her voice trailed off upon seeing the stunned look on Serena's face. "Serena? What's the matter?"
"My… wedding? Are you saying that I'm married?"
"Oh my goodness. I… Well… I shouldn't have… I mean… Well, that is… Yes…" Amy stammered, clearly unsettled.
But not nearly as unsettled as Serena felt at the moment. Out of all the things that she had forgotten, she'd forgotten that she was married? She quickly looked down to her left hand and examined her ring finger. Sure enough, there was a thin strip of pale skin that wrapped around her finger, as if something had been before, only to have been recently removed. "I can't believe… Who? Wha? He's…" She was at a complete loss for words.
"I'm so sorry! I wasn't supposed to tell you that like this. You were supposed to see him first to see if you could remember anything. Otherwise the shock… Are you okay Serena? How do you feel?" Amy asked worriedly.
"No… I'm fine… I think… I just don't remember at all the… Children? Do I have children?" The sudden painful thought that Serena could've forgotten her own children sprung to mind.
"No, no not yet," Amy reassured her.
Serena let out a relieved sigh. To have lost her memory is one thing, but to have absolutely no recollection of whether or not she gave birth and raised a child would be horrible.
"So then, my… husband." The word sounded strange coming from her lips. My husband. "Who is he? Where is he? When will I meet him?"
Amy looked slightly nervous. "Your husband's name is Endymion. He is… a very important man, and therefore is very busy. However, it is a known fact that you two loved, I mean, love each other immensely. He was been going insane with worry over your condition for the past many weeks. I told him last night that you woke, but I thought it best that he let you rest more, considering your… delicate situation. To say the least, he was rather upset that he couldn't visit last night right away." Rather upset… We nearly had to drug him, Amy thought wryly.
"I see…" Serena looked down at her knotted hands. "Do you think that I might meet him today?"
"Most definitely. He would've come this morning, except you were still sleeping. He's off riding through the city right now. He should actually be back any moment now."
Suddenly extremely nervous, Serena thought about how she would react upon meeting her husband. Would she recognize him? Would she feel happy? Sad? Nonsense. He is your husband after all. Of course you'll be happy to see him, otherwise, you wouldn't have married him in the first place, right? Serena tried to reassure herself.
"Oh… Well, would you tell me more about him, before I meet him?"
"Of course." Taking Serena's arm, the pair began to stroll through the beautiful garden once more, winding deeper and deeper into the very heart of the mystical land.
"He is actually my cousin, from my mother's side. He is very tall, as most men in his family are. He has hair as black as the devil's heart but eyes as blue as the ocean. He is in all, a very handsome man. You were the envy of women everywhere that you managed to capture his heart." Amy smiled at Serena's shy blush.
"Is he intelligent? Kind? What kind of man is he?" Serena pressed for more answers.
"He is very intelligent and accomplished in a great many different things. He is a brilliant strategist and diplomat, and is responsible for the prosperity of the entire country. Not only that, he a great warrior and fighter, and is known for the elite troop of soldiers that he trains himself, who are said to be an undefeatable group of men in battle. He is a very fair and just man, with a strong sense of morals, but is known to be harsh to serious violators." She gave Serena a soft smile. "But to you, he's just like a great big marshmallow. He melts faster than a snowball in a furnace when he's around you."
"Wow. He sounds wonderful. I must've loved him very much as well."
"Yes, you did." Amy looked away, and Serena puzzled over her sudden change of mood. Amy caught Serena staring warily at her and quickly corrected herself. "I mean, you still do. I mean, once you see him, I'm sure you'll remember something." Amy sounded rather unsure of herself, and Serena could feel her apprehension slipping back. Something just seemed… off.
The pair continued to walk in silence, and Serena trailed close behind Amy, still trying to take in as much of the sights as possible. When Amy abruptly stopped walking, she nearly ran right into her back. Puzzled, Serena looked down, only to see her bent into a deep curtsey. When she looked up to see what Amy bowed before, she could only discern a tall shadow of a man. His face was obscured by the shadows from the foliage surrounding them, but Serena could see that he was very tall and with broad shoulders. It seemed he was dressed rather casually, in riding wear, but the glint of long lethal steel caught the sunlight at his waist.
The man made no movement, and was as silent as the breeze. He seemed to be made of stone, he was so still. Amy's head was still bowed in her curtsey, her eyes downcast. Confused, Serena looked back up at the man and without taking her eyes off his masked face, whispered, "Amy?"
The shadow flinched upon hearing her soft voice. Finally, it spoke. "It's alright Dr. Aquos. Rise." His voice was deep and commanding, but Serena did not recognize it.
"I'm sorry, sir, but who are you?" Serena asked.
The man caught his breath, and stood as still as stone. Suddenly, he stepped forward, revealing a handsome face that was bronzed from the sun. His raven black hair seemed to blend with the shadows and his crystalline navy eyes contrasted sharply against his skin. "He has hair as black as the devil's heart but eyes as blue as the ocean."
"Endymion?" she guessed. Instantly, the man's cool, aloof manner vanished as he swiftly closed the distance between them and swept her into his arms. She heard a breath of relief whoosh out as his strong arms wrapped around her waist and he pressed her body against the long, hard length of his.
"Oh god Serena. When Amy told me… I thought that you wouldn't remember… I'm so glad-" Abruptly, he stopped talking, as he bent his head down and captured her lips with his. Shocked, Serena did nothing more than stand ramrod stiff, even as she felt her body melt and her eyes flutter shut. Only when his tongue slipped into her mouth to mate with hers did the overwhelming sensations rush her back to reality and her current situation. Her eyes sprang open and she began to struggle wildly, her attempts to push away from his body fruitless. Gasping, she finally broke free from the kiss, her heart beating wildly and her mind spinning at dizzying speeds.
"No! Stop! Get away from me!" Serena frantically twisted around, trying to find aid from Amy. "Amy, help me! Please!" she cried.
"Endymion!" Amy's voice was sharp and quickly caught his attention. "She doesn't remember! She only knows who you are because I told her. You're frightening her!"
Swiftly looking back at the struggling woman in his arms, he saw the tears that threatened to spill over and the terrified expression on her face. He immediately released her, so quickly that Serena all but fell into Amy's arms.
"I-I…" Endymion stumbled. For a moment, the completely bewildered and broken look that flashed across his face pained Amy deeply to see, before the emotions were wiped clean and were replaced with blank mask. His eyes cold and his mouth set in a grim line, he reminded Amy of his old self, before… everything. Before Serena.
Still breathing harshly, Serena struggled to keep her tears in check. She hated to feel so weak and vulnerable, and she really wished that she'd given the man a good, solid right hook than to beg for help like a coward. Still, she took advantage of her time protected by Amy, and tried to calm herself and eliminate the nagging headache that was beginning to come on again.
Taking one last calming, deep breath, Serena ignored the growing pain throbbing in her forehead and straightened, pushing herself out of Amy's arms. Turning around, she stared at the man dead in the eyes.
"Sir, as my current weakened state prevents me from causing you physical harm in return of your unwarranted and undesired liberties, let me just tell you this: if you ever touch me again, I will not hesitate make sure that I never, ever see you again."
"But Serena, this is Endymion… You know… Your husband?"
"I don't care. I highly doubt that I ever enjoyed being married to this- this- man." And with that, Serena was about to walk away, until he stepped forward slightly, his outstretched hand reaching for her. He stopped abruptly and dropped his hand when she flinched, and Serena silently cursed herself for doing so.
"Well now, goodbye." As Serena headed for the stairs, she could slightly hear bits of conversation between Amy and Endymion.
"So… doesn't… remember…"
"Forgotten… thing… Headaches… Cautious…"
"Perhaps… better this way."
'Better this way'? How could it possibly be better that I don't remember anything? Unless they wanted to hide some- Her thoughts broke off with a gasp, as the growing headache suddenly became a full blown migraine that threatened to all but split her head open. She cried out in pain as she fell to her knees, the soft grass cushioning her fall. The pain was nauseating and the last thing she remembered were strong arms gently and swiftly picking her up before she completely blacked out again.
Endymion stared at Serena's peaceful sleeping face, just as he had done countless times for the past couple of weeks. It was cruel, that fate chose to return her to him, finally after everything, and to only have her not even remember him. Perhaps it was his punishment.
And it was damn well effective.
He stroked her soft porcelain cheek, enjoying the feel of her smooth skin under his fingers. Then he recalled how earlier she had struggled in terror to escape from him, and he felt his chest constrict and his heart break. He who could have everything, had lost everything. How badly he wished he could embrace her as he did before, to just at least hold her, to promise to protect her.
But he had failed. It was because he failed that Serena was in this state.
All the difficulties that they had faced together, all the obstacles they had overcome; they were now all completely meaningless. If her earlier words were of any indication, she no longer held any love for him.
Yes, it was his punishment. The fates which had been so kind as to bring them together initially, were, in some kind of cruel irony, rescinding all of their previous generosities. Serena no longer remembered him. She would no longer fight for him.
She no longer loved him.
Reality was a nasty thing. It crept up on you slowly, eating away at your hopes and wishes, all of your, "Well, just maybes". And all you can do is watch as it takes away everything, until you are left with nothing.
Reality was a bitch.
But he deserved everything.
A/N: So, a new story. I have no intention of abandoning my other one, all though my infrequent updates might make it seem so. But I really do try hard! Haha. Anyways, I just had this one in my head, and I had to get it out. I don't know how far it'll get, but with some encouragement (cough reviews cough), I might have more motivation. So I hope you like this story too.
And remember, reviews always make a story better. ;D