Wizard Switch
Chapter 15
The Return of the Stuffed Vulture Hat
A/N: Wow! A hundred reviews, finally! I can't thank you guys enough. I hope you aren't getting tired of the Snape/Harry switch and want something new. Don't worry, it's coming soon. But I had to write this chapter cos I really really really enjoyed it, although it's more than a bit silly. For now, enjoy!
"Please??"
"No."
"Pretty pretty please??"
"No!"
"Aww, come on! It's harmless!"
"Harry, I said no, and I mean it," Remus Lupin sighed. "I'm a teacher; I can't go along with you on this. And you had better not do it alone anyway."
Harry set his goblet of pumpkin juice at the staff room's coffee table. "He shouldn't have done what he did anyway," he argued. "I still can't believe he purposefully slammed into that goalpost just to make a fool of me."
Lupin grinned. "Well he is pretty desperate. He's wanted revenge from the Potters for years."
"Ok then, help me out. For my dad. ..For James."
Lupin paled slightly. "That's cruel, Harry."
"I know, look, I'm sorry. It'll be harmless though, I swear. Just help me come up with something marauder-style that'll embarrass Snape at dinner."
"I don't know, Harry- Dumbledore wouldn't like it; he told you both specifically not to mess things up for the other."
Harry grinned. "He said we start fresh *tomorrow* ."
"Oh, you know what he meant," said Lupin exasperatedly. "Look, I can't..he makes me the Wolfsbane.."
"Yeah, sure he does, because it'll get him into trouble if he doesn't."
"You sure are stubborn about this," sighed Lupin. But he was relenting and Harry knew it. There was a gleam in his eyes, the gleam of adventure and mischief that Harry suspected had been there continually so many years ago.
"Come on, Professor, where's your Marauder spirit?" Harry pressed.
"Gone," said Lupin shortly. "It died a long time ago."
"Naw, I can see it in you. It's there, trust me, just a tiny little bit." Harry wasn't giving up.
Lupin sighed and drummed his fingers on the table. "All right, I give in, if it'll stop you nagging," he said finally, scowling.
Harry beamed. "I knew you had it in you! You won't regret it."
"Why do I have the feeling that's exactly what I'll do?" Lupin muttered.
*~*~*
Snape smirked as he caught his reflection in his silver dinner plate. Potter's face was pretty messed up, and he was sure he'd looked like an idiot earlier. And if he was lucky, the spectators who'd been watching practice would spread the word of how Potter couldn't even fly anymore. He grinned widely; this was his idea of revenge from years of misery with the Potter Pigheads, as he preferred to call them. And he had only just begun.
*Maybe this switch thing isn't so bad after all.*
Granger and Weasley glared at him as they slid into the opposite seats before him.
"I can't believe you did that," Weasley hissed at him while the Gryffindors around them were busy piling their plates.
"Did what?" Snape asked, calmly spooning potatoes onto his dish.
"You know what," Ron's brown eyes were glinting with fury. "Fred told me what happened; it wasn't hard to figure out what you were trying to do."
"I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about," Snape said coolly, enjoying watching Weasley's anger.
"That's enough Ron, he's just trying to get a rise out of you," he heard Granger mutter.
"Indeed. I would advise you to take the know-it-all's advice and quit bothering me."
Ron narrowed his eyes. "If you think for one moment that they're going to laugh at Harry because of one messed up practice then you're very wrong, professor."
"Huh?" Longbottom looked up suddenly from beside Snape. "What was that?"
*You idiot Weasley, and your big mouth.*
Ron looked panicky, but Hermione was quick to say smoothly, "Oh, it's nothing, Neville. Ron just likes to talk to himself sometimes. It's ah..a new habit of his."
Weasley shot her a look, but Hermione just continued, "You know how he is."
"Um, right," the nervous boy said. "You all still tired from that dancing? I have two sore thighs- I really don't know what got into Snape."
Snape saw the two exchange glances then look at him. "Oh you know," said Ron vaguely. "Strange things happen."
Snape snorted and turned his attention to watch the Slytherin table, where several of the students were laughing about something. He caught Malfoy's eye, and the blond boy smirked. Snape watched him clutching an imaginary broom and veering off sharply to the side, before pretending to slam into the dinner table. The Slytherins burst into laughter again.
He tried to look angry, but the wide smirk wouldn't leave his face, and Malfoy stared at him, astonished. Snape chuckled.
A loud snicker suddenly erupted from beside him. Severus turned to find the Gryffindors pointing and laughing, but it wasn't Malfoy they were looking at.
His insides filling with dread, he followed their gazes to the High table, which Lupin and Potter had just approached.
Lupin wore shabby dark robes, and his graying brown hair hung over his forehead and his young face, his eyes tired. He looked just as he usually did.
Now Potter had his body. Which meant Potter was supposed to look like him, Severus Snape. Severus Snape wore robes of the blackest night and had greasy black hair. He rarely wore hats of any sorts, and if he did, they would be standard pointed wizards' hats.
Severus Snape did *not* wear large hats with stuffed vultures on top, which highly resembled hats that the grandmothers of nervous fifteen year-old Gryffindors wore. And he most certainly did *not* wear bright crimson robes with gold trimmings, clasped together by pendant of a large gold lion. And the day Severus Snape became a redhead with blond highlights was the day Lord Voldemort opted for World Peace and bought everyone stuffed teddy bears holding little hearts.
Snape's mouth dropped open in a silent scream.
*~*~*
Almost every single pair of eyes in the Great Hall filled with tears of laughter. Except of course for Snape's house, who looked shocked. No, scandalized and betrayed was more like it. Malfoy looked offended, and as though he had been personally insulted.
The Gryffindor table was like an explosion that had suddenly set off. The loud snorts, snickers, and laughter filled the hall, and even the ghosts looked on in amazement. Up on the high table, Minerva McGonagall's lips were fighting a war with her face, trying to go up in a huge grin while her face pushed them down in attempt to form a stern, angry impression. The result of her face's appearance looked very strange indeed.
Total pandemonium had erupted in the hall. Trelawny had leapt off her chair, yelled "I knew it! Why did you think I came to dinner tonight?"
Lupin, who had walked in with Harry, was flushed with what looked like embarrassment. Sprout had her eyes closed and was muttering to herself something which sounded suspiciously like, "You live a lot, you see a lot." Hagrid was chuckling uncontrollably, his shoulders shaking, as was the end of the table he was sitting on, which jumped with every shake of his laughter.
Fred and George Weasley were hooting wildly, and of course, there was the wild laughter of the three Snape- hating house tables.
Harry grinned, pleased with the effect he had caused. He caught Snape's eye and smirked. "You asked for it," he mouthed. The man looked horrorstruck, and his(Harry's) green eyes were wild with rage.
"Thanks, Professor," he smiled at Lupin. "I couldn't have done it without you."
Lupin smiled wryly. "I'm glad you enjoyed it, because it's the first and last time."
Harry laughed, then glanced at the person whose reaction he had been afraid to see. What if he got into major trouble, and Lupin too?
Dumbledore was not smiling, but his eyes were twinkling, which Harry decided had to be a good sign. He stood up and called for silence, and the entire hall immediately fell quiet.
"You will all please go on with your dinners as though nothing has happened. Thank you." He sat down, and everyone turned to their food, but the hall was filled with loud whispering and talking. Harry caught some of it as he and Lupin hesitantly took seats on the High table. "I really think Snape is under a spell these days. He's acting so weird!"
"He must've lost a bet or something."
"Did you check out that red and gold hair?! I wish I knew the charm to do that!"
"Nice touch, the stuffed vulture thing. Is he trying to get us to laugh at him or what?"
Unfortunately, Harry had sat beside Trelawny, and she immediately turned on him. "There's no need to be embarrassed, Severus dear," she said in that annoying tone of hers. "I knew this would happen. The f-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know," said Harry. "The fates told you."
Dinner was over too soon, and although he didn't enjoy the professors shooting him looks every second, he didn't want to listen to any lectures now. All he'd wanted was to take revenge from Snape for making him look like an idiot on the Quidditch Pitch. In Harry's opinion, Quidditch was the only thing he was truly good at, and Snape had messed that up for him too, well actually he had made people think he wasn't good anymore.
People were starting to get up and leave for their common rooms, and they all gave him final glances before he left. As Ron and Hermione passed by, Ron grinned and gave him the thumbs up. Hermione tried to look disapproving but failed miserably.
When the hall had emptied of students, Snape got up and stood by the High Table, glaring at Harry with the most hate Harry's face had ever shown anyone.
Harry shrugged and merely adjusted the vulture hat.
A/N: Thanks again and please review!
Chapter 15
The Return of the Stuffed Vulture Hat
A/N: Wow! A hundred reviews, finally! I can't thank you guys enough. I hope you aren't getting tired of the Snape/Harry switch and want something new. Don't worry, it's coming soon. But I had to write this chapter cos I really really really enjoyed it, although it's more than a bit silly. For now, enjoy!
"Please??"
"No."
"Pretty pretty please??"
"No!"
"Aww, come on! It's harmless!"
"Harry, I said no, and I mean it," Remus Lupin sighed. "I'm a teacher; I can't go along with you on this. And you had better not do it alone anyway."
Harry set his goblet of pumpkin juice at the staff room's coffee table. "He shouldn't have done what he did anyway," he argued. "I still can't believe he purposefully slammed into that goalpost just to make a fool of me."
Lupin grinned. "Well he is pretty desperate. He's wanted revenge from the Potters for years."
"Ok then, help me out. For my dad. ..For James."
Lupin paled slightly. "That's cruel, Harry."
"I know, look, I'm sorry. It'll be harmless though, I swear. Just help me come up with something marauder-style that'll embarrass Snape at dinner."
"I don't know, Harry- Dumbledore wouldn't like it; he told you both specifically not to mess things up for the other."
Harry grinned. "He said we start fresh *tomorrow* ."
"Oh, you know what he meant," said Lupin exasperatedly. "Look, I can't..he makes me the Wolfsbane.."
"Yeah, sure he does, because it'll get him into trouble if he doesn't."
"You sure are stubborn about this," sighed Lupin. But he was relenting and Harry knew it. There was a gleam in his eyes, the gleam of adventure and mischief that Harry suspected had been there continually so many years ago.
"Come on, Professor, where's your Marauder spirit?" Harry pressed.
"Gone," said Lupin shortly. "It died a long time ago."
"Naw, I can see it in you. It's there, trust me, just a tiny little bit." Harry wasn't giving up.
Lupin sighed and drummed his fingers on the table. "All right, I give in, if it'll stop you nagging," he said finally, scowling.
Harry beamed. "I knew you had it in you! You won't regret it."
"Why do I have the feeling that's exactly what I'll do?" Lupin muttered.
*~*~*
Snape smirked as he caught his reflection in his silver dinner plate. Potter's face was pretty messed up, and he was sure he'd looked like an idiot earlier. And if he was lucky, the spectators who'd been watching practice would spread the word of how Potter couldn't even fly anymore. He grinned widely; this was his idea of revenge from years of misery with the Potter Pigheads, as he preferred to call them. And he had only just begun.
*Maybe this switch thing isn't so bad after all.*
Granger and Weasley glared at him as they slid into the opposite seats before him.
"I can't believe you did that," Weasley hissed at him while the Gryffindors around them were busy piling their plates.
"Did what?" Snape asked, calmly spooning potatoes onto his dish.
"You know what," Ron's brown eyes were glinting with fury. "Fred told me what happened; it wasn't hard to figure out what you were trying to do."
"I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about," Snape said coolly, enjoying watching Weasley's anger.
"That's enough Ron, he's just trying to get a rise out of you," he heard Granger mutter.
"Indeed. I would advise you to take the know-it-all's advice and quit bothering me."
Ron narrowed his eyes. "If you think for one moment that they're going to laugh at Harry because of one messed up practice then you're very wrong, professor."
"Huh?" Longbottom looked up suddenly from beside Snape. "What was that?"
*You idiot Weasley, and your big mouth.*
Ron looked panicky, but Hermione was quick to say smoothly, "Oh, it's nothing, Neville. Ron just likes to talk to himself sometimes. It's ah..a new habit of his."
Weasley shot her a look, but Hermione just continued, "You know how he is."
"Um, right," the nervous boy said. "You all still tired from that dancing? I have two sore thighs- I really don't know what got into Snape."
Snape saw the two exchange glances then look at him. "Oh you know," said Ron vaguely. "Strange things happen."
Snape snorted and turned his attention to watch the Slytherin table, where several of the students were laughing about something. He caught Malfoy's eye, and the blond boy smirked. Snape watched him clutching an imaginary broom and veering off sharply to the side, before pretending to slam into the dinner table. The Slytherins burst into laughter again.
He tried to look angry, but the wide smirk wouldn't leave his face, and Malfoy stared at him, astonished. Snape chuckled.
A loud snicker suddenly erupted from beside him. Severus turned to find the Gryffindors pointing and laughing, but it wasn't Malfoy they were looking at.
His insides filling with dread, he followed their gazes to the High table, which Lupin and Potter had just approached.
Lupin wore shabby dark robes, and his graying brown hair hung over his forehead and his young face, his eyes tired. He looked just as he usually did.
Now Potter had his body. Which meant Potter was supposed to look like him, Severus Snape. Severus Snape wore robes of the blackest night and had greasy black hair. He rarely wore hats of any sorts, and if he did, they would be standard pointed wizards' hats.
Severus Snape did *not* wear large hats with stuffed vultures on top, which highly resembled hats that the grandmothers of nervous fifteen year-old Gryffindors wore. And he most certainly did *not* wear bright crimson robes with gold trimmings, clasped together by pendant of a large gold lion. And the day Severus Snape became a redhead with blond highlights was the day Lord Voldemort opted for World Peace and bought everyone stuffed teddy bears holding little hearts.
Snape's mouth dropped open in a silent scream.
*~*~*
Almost every single pair of eyes in the Great Hall filled with tears of laughter. Except of course for Snape's house, who looked shocked. No, scandalized and betrayed was more like it. Malfoy looked offended, and as though he had been personally insulted.
The Gryffindor table was like an explosion that had suddenly set off. The loud snorts, snickers, and laughter filled the hall, and even the ghosts looked on in amazement. Up on the high table, Minerva McGonagall's lips were fighting a war with her face, trying to go up in a huge grin while her face pushed them down in attempt to form a stern, angry impression. The result of her face's appearance looked very strange indeed.
Total pandemonium had erupted in the hall. Trelawny had leapt off her chair, yelled "I knew it! Why did you think I came to dinner tonight?"
Lupin, who had walked in with Harry, was flushed with what looked like embarrassment. Sprout had her eyes closed and was muttering to herself something which sounded suspiciously like, "You live a lot, you see a lot." Hagrid was chuckling uncontrollably, his shoulders shaking, as was the end of the table he was sitting on, which jumped with every shake of his laughter.
Fred and George Weasley were hooting wildly, and of course, there was the wild laughter of the three Snape- hating house tables.
Harry grinned, pleased with the effect he had caused. He caught Snape's eye and smirked. "You asked for it," he mouthed. The man looked horrorstruck, and his(Harry's) green eyes were wild with rage.
"Thanks, Professor," he smiled at Lupin. "I couldn't have done it without you."
Lupin smiled wryly. "I'm glad you enjoyed it, because it's the first and last time."
Harry laughed, then glanced at the person whose reaction he had been afraid to see. What if he got into major trouble, and Lupin too?
Dumbledore was not smiling, but his eyes were twinkling, which Harry decided had to be a good sign. He stood up and called for silence, and the entire hall immediately fell quiet.
"You will all please go on with your dinners as though nothing has happened. Thank you." He sat down, and everyone turned to their food, but the hall was filled with loud whispering and talking. Harry caught some of it as he and Lupin hesitantly took seats on the High table. "I really think Snape is under a spell these days. He's acting so weird!"
"He must've lost a bet or something."
"Did you check out that red and gold hair?! I wish I knew the charm to do that!"
"Nice touch, the stuffed vulture thing. Is he trying to get us to laugh at him or what?"
Unfortunately, Harry had sat beside Trelawny, and she immediately turned on him. "There's no need to be embarrassed, Severus dear," she said in that annoying tone of hers. "I knew this would happen. The f-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know," said Harry. "The fates told you."
Dinner was over too soon, and although he didn't enjoy the professors shooting him looks every second, he didn't want to listen to any lectures now. All he'd wanted was to take revenge from Snape for making him look like an idiot on the Quidditch Pitch. In Harry's opinion, Quidditch was the only thing he was truly good at, and Snape had messed that up for him too, well actually he had made people think he wasn't good anymore.
People were starting to get up and leave for their common rooms, and they all gave him final glances before he left. As Ron and Hermione passed by, Ron grinned and gave him the thumbs up. Hermione tried to look disapproving but failed miserably.
When the hall had emptied of students, Snape got up and stood by the High Table, glaring at Harry with the most hate Harry's face had ever shown anyone.
Harry shrugged and merely adjusted the vulture hat.
A/N: Thanks again and please review!