Disclaimer: Characters not mine

This comedy is meant purely for a bit of fun, so please don't flame!

I dedicate it to my loyal reviewers Susicar and VHunter07, and I hope you all enjoy:

It was on the 3rd of August, that I looked up from my newspaper only to see a rare look of shock and dread across my friends face. I had come to stay with Mary for the weekend, because repair work was being done at our house, and Holmes had very kindly offered to accommodate us. We had finished our breakfast and Mary had gone out shopping, a few moments later a letter had come for Mr.. Sherlock Holmes, and it was this that he now held with such a bewildered expression.

"What is it Holmes?" I asked "has something gone wrong in a case?"

"It is far worst then that Watson, its... my mother"

"Your mother? Is something wrong with her?"

"Worst, she's... coming to stay for the weekend" there was such fear in his voice that I almost laughed.

"Surely she can't be that bad Holmes?"

"That bad! God she'll be here any minute. Mrs. Hudson! I need this house spotless in 20 minutes, no don't look so shocked its absolutely necessary!" and with that he ran off a began a rushed tidying of his room.

A few moments later there came a sharp knocking on the door and my friend, most unlike himself, almost leaped from his skin.

"She's here!" he gasped, quickly managing to sit down and regain his usual calm face before a lady in her late 70s walked into the room.

There was no doubt as to who she was, for the moment she entered there came with her the same feeling of intellect and dominating power which was common to my friend, they even looked somewhat the same, with long black hair and a thin face and structure. She had a flamboyant black gown which trailed behind her as she entered, and I rose to greet her. Holmes had only mentioned her once, the same time I had found out he had a brother, so I was naturally curious as to what she would be like. Holmes however, seemed to be glued to his chair in shock so I motioned our guest towards a seat.

"Who are you young man?" came her sharp voice

"Oh, I am sorry, I'm Doctor Watson, your son's friend"

"Oh yes I've heard of you, I was amazed"

"May I ask why?"

"Well because my Sherlock had a friend of course! Never had friends my baby boy, you know that once he..." But Holmes seemed to have come to his senses in light of the situation and hurriedly offered his mother some tea before she could continue. At that point there came a ring of the bell and I went downstairs to answer it myself. It was Mary, and I quickly explained to her in the hall what had happened before saying:

"You've been a while"

"Are you afraid that I'm courting someone else John dear?" she replied with a mischievous smile

"I would never have reason to fear that" I said, but the change on her face showed that I had said something wrong.

"You don't think I'm good enough for anyone else do you?" she said angrily

"No that's not..." But she had already stormed into the lounge just in time to hear Mrs. Holmes say:

"So Sherlock, I assume you have a wife by now?"

"Yes of course" he said quickly before thinking.

"Well then, where is she?" Holmes face went a tone paler, but it was my wife's mischievous smile in my direction that I feared most.

"I am Sherlock's wife Mrs. Holmes" she said smiling. Holmes was looking with a puzzled face in my direction, as though I had planned this, but I merely shrugged my shoulders with an exasperated expression.

"Oh and what a beauty you are too! However did you manage to marry such a girl as this Sherlock? "

"Err..."

"You haven't told me her name yet"

"Oh its miss..I mean Mrs. wa.. Mary... Mary Holmes"

"What a pretty name, is he good to you Mary?"

"Oh yes Mrs. Holmes" said my wife now walking over behind Holmes and placing her hands gently on his shoulders, this was a bit of a fright for my friend however, and he leapt out of his seat.

"You must call me Violet Mary, if you are now my daughter in law"

"Of course Violet"

"And what about you Dr Watson? Are you married?"

"Um no" I said hastily covering my ring with my other hand "No I... have not been so lucky"

"Oh dear, well your time will come! Maybe my Sherlock could give you some tips" at this point Holmes looked at me with a expression on his face that could only be described as apologetic, I nodded to show the apology was accepted, it was, after all my wife that was causing the trouble, but it was not to end there, she seemed determined to show me that she could have any man she wanted, even the cold hearted Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

"Well I'm going out to see a friend now dear" she said. Holmes took a few moments to comprehend it was to him that she was speaking.

"Of course, I will see you later... dear" this last word took some apparent effort on his behave. She leaned over and to everyone save Mrs. Holmes surprise, drew my friend towards her with her hands on his shoulders, and sunk into a deep passionate kiss. Holmes couldn't have been more shocked had I myself done it, and he seemed to go rigid with terror, his eyes wide open. Mary on the other hand seemed to be enjoying her torturing of us both, and she gave a smile as she saw my face go red. I have never been a jealous man but this!

She left, and thankfully Mrs. Holmes decided to accompany her. Leaving me and Holmes alone. Holmes had fallen into his chair, still apparently unrecovered.

"Watson I..."

"Don't worry old friend it was she not you"

"Yes but I should have..."

"You couldn't Holmes not without upsetting your mother. If there is one man in the world I would trust to steal my wife for the weekend its you"

"And what is that suppose to mean?" he said, the mischievous look now returning to his face "You never know dear Watson I might not give her back!" For once I decided to play his bluff.

"OK then Holmes, I'll go prepare your bed then shall I?"

"What for?"

"Well a married couple must sleep in the same bed" I said walking towards his room. The next moment he had run across the lounge and leapt upon me, dragging me away.

"No no Watson I assure you that won't be necessary" he said, and I was surprised to see that he looked positively terrified at the very thought.

More mischief to come...

HeHe, I hope you are enjoying this so far, and I beg you to tell me if you are, or else I might be sitting here none the wiser laughing on my own!