alrighty!! w00t! i am so uber happy, thank you, thank you! (bows) and anywho, i really haven't done a Soriku one yet, all akuroku XD makes my fangirl heart beat with pride! but this i actually skived off of homework and worked on the first chapter for about 4 hours (how ironic!) XD i feel so proud of myself, and i did it while i had the distraction of friends on AIM as well. it was kinda hard, but it was worth it in the end.

the story is in the main perspective if Riku, but that'll change as the story gets longer. also, i'll have a verse of the song in each chapter... there's around 8 so i plan to have the story done by then.

the music is by Alanis Morissette and the song Head over Feet

Disclaimer: I only own the plot which I can torture as I please. Everything else is owned by people in tux's and ties. Yay for them! xD

'Thinking'

"Talking"

emphasized words/lyrics/noises

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to lying in bed
You ask how my day was

"White clouds. Be they be fluffy and white, or gray and ominous they…" Riku trailed off, his sharp turquoise eyes roaming over the puffs in the sky. He was lying on his back outside of Destiny Islands Senior High School. He wasn't skipping class he was… taking an extended lunch break, yeah.

He raised an arm towards the sky, as if trying to grab a cloud and pull it down for him to examine. Riku sighed dejectedly, today just hadn't been his day. He had been dumped by his girlfriend, failed a test due to completely forgetting about it, and had missed a week of school just the week before this, screwing with his entire schedule. Simply wonderful let him tell you.

"…are gay." He finished finally, tearing his eyes from the sky, closing them tiredly and spread out further in the grass. Riku just wanted to disappear, or go home; they were technically one in the same. His mother was never satisfied with what he did, what grades he got, nothing. Everything, all the praise, went to his older brother Kadaj.

They looked alike in almost every single way. Kadaj had that same color hair, same color eyes and same parents, obviously. Kadaj was blessed with being the first born, 2 years before Riku had come along and was never in the limelight, always in the back, glaring at his brothers success.

They had gotten along pretty well. Kadaj knew that his parents paid more attention to himself than Riku, so he wanted to be close to his brother to let him know that Riku was very special and dear to him. He always had time for his younger sibling, ready to listen to whatever troubled his brother, and tried his best to help.

Kadaj managed to pull off a 5.0 GPA and as a junior in High school, he was bound to get even better and do whatever he pleased when he graduated. Riku, on the other hand, had easily kept a 3.8 GPA until recently. The very same reason was why he had missed said week of school mentioned earlier.

He just… lost his will to try anymore. Everything had come crashing down when Axel, his best friend of his 16 years living, had spoken something that made Riku question his so-called "sexual preferences."

Flashback

"Riku, stop messing around! Gimmie back my tots you D-bag!" Axel yelled, his precious delicious tator tots now in possession of the Riku Takashi. Riku just laughed and popped one into his mouth, before he gagged.

"Axel!" he cried indignantly, "What in hell did you put on these things!" He whipped the small container back at his friend. He gagged again and pinched the half eaten tator tot from his mouth. Axel caught his wonderful little delight and smirked, a bad sign. "Oh god! You added some type of chemical that's going to turn my brain to mush! What did I just eat!" Riku had gotten his voice very high... and very squeaky.

"Salt," he stated simply with a wink. Riku's mouth dropped.

"You aren't serious are you? It tasted like poison!"

"That is a common misperception. In large quantities salt can have a very displeasing taste," Axel stated with a sort of diplomatic voice, his face straight and business-like, but he grinned again, "and I love it."

Riku sighed in relief, causing some of his fellow friends at the table to snicker, giggle, laugh, or something in between there. Roxas was the first to comment.

"Did you honestly think he'd let anyone have his tots?" Roxas asked, raising a blonde eyebrow at him. His slate blue eyes filled with mirth. Riku just stayed quiet a moment thinking it over. He sighed again, this time in defeat. Roxas laughed. Just to further jive Riku, he grabbed one of Axel's tots and threw it up in the air and caught it in his mouth, chewing happily.

"Okay. I'm confused. Why didn't Axel freak out on you?" Riku asked and watched in amazement as Roxas finished the food with such a bright smile on his face. 'Smug bastard' he thought inwardly.

"Come on Riku!" Axel whined, poking Roxas in the cheek once or twice, "How could I be mad at a face this cute and adorable?" Roxas because the shade of a ripened tomato and nudged Axel lightly in the ribs. Axel rolled his eyes and encased Roxas in a hug. He left an arm around Roxas' shoulder and turned to eating his lunch again, pulling Roxas close when he felt like it.

Riku looked away. He had nothing against his friend for liking, well loving, this little blonde. He didn't care that he was gay. It just made him feel… put out. His girlfriend didn't like that type of emotiony clingy affection. She was tough and wouldn't let anyone prove otherwise. He sighed again. Then a blur of brown caught his eye and his mind.

Sora Melamine. His little… crush would it be if Riku were gay, then yes it would be. He had these sky blue eyes that were... and this delectable face that made Riku feel… weird inside. Riku was determined that he was straight and liked girls and boobs. Not guys and their... libidos.

Sora stood up from his table, girls and guys alike sitting with him, to take his tray up. He paused as he began to step away from his table and turned to look at his friends. One of them said something and apparently it was embarrassing because it made the brunette blush severely. Sora just rolled his eyes good-naturedly and walked away chuckling slightly.

Riku watched him sweep away with as much dignity that could be allowed for one looking like a tomato before… a plate shattered on the ground.

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!" The lunchroom burst into such a roar Riku had to wince and resist the urge to cover his ears from the sound. Axel and Roxas joined in looking like wolves howling to the moon. In a matter of seconds it was over and the cafeteria staff had some out from the kitchen to help whoever had dropped their things.

Roxas had already turned his attention back to the food Axel had and took a few tator tots and munched happily. Axel was still watching with an amused look plastered on his face before it was wiped of instantly. He faced Riku immediately, his eyes filled with concern and dread, and was about to speak before a wave a sobs erupted from the person who had dropped their tray.

Sora.

The cafeteria went deadly quiet except for the teachers running forth and helping him off the ground. Sora clutched his hand for dear life but everyone could see that blood was dripping quite heavily from it.

Riku grasped the front of his shirt as his heart hurt unexpectedly. He stood up quickly, along with some people from Sora's lunch table and bolted to where Sora was. Sadly neither he nor Sora's friends were able to reach him because the English teacher, Miss Lockheart, stopped them.

"Go back to your tables," she said, eyes on all of them, her expression grim. Riku could barely see as two teachers grasped Sora by his shoulders and yelled for someone to get a towel to stop the bloody freaking mess.

'Mr. Highwind,' Riku thought faintly, 'he won't let anything happen to… Sora…'

Sora's friends, Riku recognized one as his partner in chemistry, Kairi Chimera. Also Tidus Ronso, Riku knew him from Blitzball practice and various classes, Wakka Guado, Blitzball and also various classes, and Selphie Quistis, track, and his fellow employee at The Paopu Bar and Grill.

Riku tightened his fist and backed slowly away, grudgingly, to his table. He hesitantly placed himself down in the bench, aware that his entire tables gaze, and several others, was upon him. Riku sighed for the umpteenth time today and buried his head sadly in his arms, escaping the gazes. The silence in the cafeteria slowly dissipated, but the sobs were still ringing in his ears.

"Riku?" Axel had his voice low and Riku could feel his breath on his arm. "Riku?" Axel tapped Riku on the elbow, trying to get his attention. Riku sighed yet again.

"Yeah?" his voice was hard to make out through his arm but he was sure that Axel heard him.

"What happened? What's wrong?" Riku raised his head up enough that his eyes could be seen, tired and worn looking.

"The world died." He buried his face again, blocking out the noise of the cafeteria that he knew was talking about what just happened and how he of all people reacted. Riku was, by fault, the most popular person in the school.

He was a jock, slightly arrogant, incredibly smart (school wise), and undeniably handsome. He was also caring to his friends and everyone as long as they didn't say anything bad about him; he didn't need a reason to be friends with whomever he pleased.

But back to what was happening at the moment, he felt Axel brush closely by his ear and ask, "Are you gay?"

Riku recoiled with a shocked and hurt expression clearly marked on his face. He could feel his face heating up, but he knew he wouldn't blush; he had created too much self-control for that to happen. Never before had anyone questioned his favor of sex. They all assumed that such a handsome and popular boy was straight as a stick.

"What?" Riku's voice came out sharp and bitter. He wasn't in the mood to discuss this. He would never be in the mood for this. Axel looked, and felt likewise, betrayed. He frowned and stared Riku down. Like he knew something. Like he knew something… important. After a while more of silence, Axel sighed and laid his hands on the table, his hand entwined with Roxas's.

"You are." It wasn't much of a question, it was a damned fact. Axel rubbed the back of Roxas's hand with his thumb slowly, lovingly. He stared at their hands not looking up at Riku. Roxas had confusion flash over his face. But it quickly turned into understanding and acceptance.

"I. Am. Not." Riku bared each word out, growing angrier by the second. He knew he was fooling himself but it was all right. Axel was right 99.9 percent of the time, this seeming to be one of those times.

"If you weren't, you wouldn't have acted like that. You wouldn't have lost your girlfriend on the account that she thought it too." He raised his eyes to meet Riku's; the gaze was hard and calculating. They only got this way when Axel was working on his advanced course problems and when he had to convince someone who didn't believe he was right, when everyone knew he was.

"I don't need this! I don't want to remember!" Riku hissed, keeping his voice down so no one would realize or hear what was going on. "I'm leaving, later." And with that, he threw his legs over the bench and left, giving the impression that he had to go to the bathroom. But Axel knew better. He knew that Riku had to think and was happy to let him. Hopefully it wouldn't lead for the worse.

End Flashback

Riku couldn't help the despair that he was feeling now. The throbbing his heart was making in his chest. The sheer pain and confusion that was now in his life making his head hurt. He didn't want to give up, but he wasn't ready to try and fail yet.

'I still don't understand,' Riku contemplated, 'things never really clicked between Larxene and I, but does that mean I am gay? And I mean, yeah I do worry about Sora and I really hope he's feeling all right now, that he didn't get too hurt. I don't want him to be in pain…"

Riku stopped thinking for a moment. (1) He knew that he didn't want anything bad to happen to Sora. He wanted to be there for the brunet and help him in any way he could. He wanted to l… l-lo…

"Dammit!!" Riku yelled, throwing his arms out and flopped in the grass like a little kid throwing a tantrum. "Dammit, shit, damn!!!" after everything that he had ever thought and said it came down to this. He was gay. It was short, simple and to the point.

"Uh oh…" he just remembered. What would the rest of the school think to know that the most popular guy in school turned gay? Well… they'd just have to deal with it, he guessed.

He clasped his hands underneath his head and watched his surroundings. He was on the hill that leads to the schools practice football field. It was quite steep, the student parking lot was right at the top, and so if you looked around from the top you really couldn't see him.

Beyond the field was another stretch of grass, this one belonging to the two practice Blitzball fields that the school used frequently and was managed quite well. After that was a small base of trees and then the main school road. Simple, clean, and beautiful enough, it would take peoples breath away, he was sure.

An intercom squeal broke his moment of solitude. "I'm sorry for the interruption, but would Riku Takashi please report to his Chemistry class. Riku Takashi to his chemistry class, thank you." Riku rolled his eyes and decided on whether he should go back inside, or rather wanted to go and face everyone. He propped himself up on his elbows and though about it.

"At least not for a few more minutes anyways!" Riku grinned and laid back down, enjoying the sunlight and the bliss of the moment.

(1) It IS possible to stop thinking. You just let everything go and nothing comes to you except for sounds around you. I'd know :)

so did i kill you with a cliffhanger?!? please no! i need reviews! i actually do want them because i DO want to know what you think about it! but not flames, those can burn like they intended, and Axel will be more than happy to kick your butt for sending me them! XD anyways...

Read and Review please! you see that pretty little purple button... right. down. there. could ya click it please? thx!

Peachie Bunni