Author's Note: Part of the Dresdenflashfic challenge on livejournal.
The Thief
I awoke slightly, the kind of waking between dreaming and consciousness that is perhaps the human experience closest to the world of magic. As I rolled over I realized that the other side of the bed was empty. Still warm, but definitely empty.
Great. You'd think I would have learned after the last time.
It had been about two months since I'd gone to bed with a woman only to find myself handcuffed to the bedpost and short one skull.
I threw off the covers and immediately reached down for my jeans. I grabbed my wallet – which had been placed in the left pocket instead of the right. It was empty. It hadn't exactly been full when I went to bed – it only had 37 dollars – but still, I'd been robbed. Again.
I raced down the stairs.
"Bob…Bob!"
His spirit materialized and I was relieved to be greeted with Bob's cold, stern countenance. I tried not to let my relief show, though.
"Harry," Bob replied coolly.
"Hey, you didn't happen to see the girl I was with last night?"
He rolled his eyes. "I make it a point not to watch when you have…company."
"She took the money from my wallet."
"Well, well. You really have excellent taste in women."
I glanced around the room. "Did she take anything else, Bob?"
"Besides your dignity?"
"If you're not going to help you can get back in your skull."
"As you wish."
Bob disappeared. It was just as well. He'd probably be more grief than help.
It didn't look like anything else was missing. Then I noticed that my desk drawers were askew. I looked through the desk. It seemed like only a few things were missing. Ironically, she left the most valuable item, a vial of dragon blood. i She /i , like many of the women I had known, was only after the shiny things. She had taken my gold amulet used for transference spells, the metal pentacle used to protect oneself from black magic, and my silver letter opener which was used to, well, open letters.
Fortunately she had left my crystal talisman. Perhaps she hadn't seen it in her haste or she had just not considered it valuable. Whatever her reasoning, I would need it in order to perform a tracking spell. I'd also need something that belonged to her.
I went back upstairs to my bed. It didn't look like she had left any of her clothing behind. I rummaged through the covers and the sheets. Bingo. I picked out a single strand of long brown hair, probably from when I ran my fingers through it only a few hours earlier.
I had to travel on foot as I tracked her. It took me 45 minutes to reach her South Side apartment building. The long walk gave me time to think about why this was happening to me again. I told myself that it was because of the kind of girl I was attracted to. I liked my women feisty and a bit on the dangerous side. Or it could be the kind of bars I frequented, combined with the type of woman who was willing to have a one-night stand with a man calling himself a "wizard". I preferred the former explanation.
Dawn had just broken by the time I reached the building. A little magic and I was inside. The talisman led me up to a room on the third floor. A little more magic and I'd opened the door, hoping that she wasn't awake, but prepared for confrontation. Her apartment was dark and sparse. She was asleep on a mattress on the floor. I crept closer, trying not to wake her.
Damn, her long bare legs looked appealing.
The things she had stolen from me, including the cash, were in a pile on the floor next to the mattress. I picked them up and put them in the bag I had brought with me. I contemplated leaving the money for her. It seemed like she could use it. But to come all this way and not take back my money seemed…insulting.
I was about to leave but hesitated. I pulled a business card from my 37-dollar-heavier wallet and placed it on the floor next to her. Some might have considered this an act of arrogance, a credit to my power as wizard, when simply taking my things should have been sufficient display. But the truth is, that wasn't my reasoning. I was kind of hoping she'd call me. If she had that kind of nerve, well, I'd definitely be willing to see her again.
As I left her apartment, I quietly closed the door behind me, hoping not to wake her.
Harry, you are messed up when it comes it women.