I know this may seem really random, the title is pretty random too... but I felt like writing this. I was on youtube the other day and I came across this little animated video called Chalie: Candy Mountain, and I thought I might write one for Robin.
Well anyway, enough of the beginning notes. Here it is!
Robin: Candy Mountain
It had been a tiring day for Robin. First, there had been a break in at the city bank. It turned out it had been Mumbo. He would have been an easy foe to defeat, but it turned out the whole thing had been staged to distract the Titans from the real enemy, some giant dog that he had accidentally summoned when a magic trick of his went wrong. The Titans had a really hard time trying to defeat him. They ended up getting their buts kicked and had to call the Titans East to try and help them. They did win, but barely.
Robin flopped onto the sofa tiredly. He wondered where the rest of the team was, but he was too tired to care less. He picked up the remote for the large, flat screen TV and carelessly flipped from channel to channel trying to find something decent to watch. He soon came to realise it was a lost cause and switched the TV off altogether.
By now, he was so tired; he could barely keep his eyes open. He soon found himself drifting off to sleep…
"Roooobiin…" he suddenly heard someone say in a sort of half high, half low voice. Sleepily, he opened his eyes, and saw the faces of two people very familiar to him…
"Cyborg, Beast Boy…" He replied in a hoarse whisper. "What do you two want?"
The two young men in question wore huge grins on their faces. "We're going to Candy Mountain, Robin!" They cried simultaneously in unnatural high voices.
"Yeah! Candy Mountain, Robin!" Beast Boy echoed. Robin only stared at them with a blank look on his face.
"Come with us, Robin!" Cyborg continued to say. "Come to Candy Mountain!"
"Yeah, come with us to Candy Mountain, Robin!" Beast Boy echoed again.
Robin's blank look transfigured into a frown. Why were they acting like this? What was going on? "No guys. I'm going back to sleep." He rested his head down on the sofa again and shut his eyes to try and go back to sleep.
Best Boy and Cyborg exchanged glances. Beast Boy then smiled evilly, as if planning something. Using the sofa edge for support, he leapt up and starting jumping up and down on Robin's back. "Wake up, Robin! Wake up, Robin! Candy Mountain, Candy Mountain!"
Robin's eyes immediately snapped open with irritation. "Will you stop jumping on my back?" He hissed.
Beast Boy's smile did not change. "Candy Mountain, Robin! Come with us to Candy Mountain! It's a land of sweets, and joy… and sweet joyness!"
Robin raised an eyebrow. "Is that even a word?"
"Come with us to Candy Mountain, Robin!" Beast Boy begged, still jumping up and down of Robin's back.
Robin gritted his teeth with irritation. "Fine! I'll go with you idiots to that stupid mountain!"
Beast Boy jumped off Robins back and joined Cyborg in his victory triumph.
"Why do I get the feeling I just made a stupid mistake?" Robin mused as he tagged along behind them.
The Boy wonder followed the changeling and the half robot outside the city and into a random forest. Robin wondered where those two were taking him. As the two led the Boy Wonder through the forest, they la-la-la-ed to some unknown tune.
Beast Boy started. "Robin… Robin… Robin… Rooooooooobiiiiiin…"
"WHAT?!" He cried from behind them. "I'M RIGHT HERE!!!"
"…….We're in a forest, Robin," Beast Boy replied, his voice still uncharacteristically high. "The magical forest that'll lead us to Candy Mountain."
Robin slapped his forehead in annoyance. What was up with them today? Was it the fight against that giant dog monster that's turned them all weird? He took a deep breath to try and control his growing anger and nerves. "So…" Robin began afresh. "You two do realise that there is no actual Candy Mountain, right?"
Cyborg and Beast Boy stopped dead in their tracks, spun around, and pointed to him accusingly.
"He does not believe in Candy Mountain!" Cyborg cried in his uncharacteristically high voice.
"Shun the non-believer!" Beast Boy added!
"Yeah, shun the non-believer!"
"SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNUUUUUUUHHHHHHH…!!!" Beast Boy suddenly howled.
Robin's gazed bounced between them. "You guys are morons…"
A short while later as they continued their questionable journey through the forest, they came across a large body of water. Just as Robin was about to ask why the heck they brought him all the way out here just to look at a large puddle, when a huge, blue, longed necked dinosaurs like creature broke through the surface of the water.
Robin blinked and pointed to the large dinosaur. "What… the hell is that thing?"
"It's the plesiosaurus, Robin," Beast Boy replied in his uncharacteristically high voice and his eyes shinning. "The magical plesiosaurus, Robin."
Cyborg's eyes were shinning too. "The magical plesiosaurus is going to tell us the way to Candy Mountain, Robin!"
Robin smacked his hand over his forehead. "This day is getting weirder and weirder by the second…"
Just then, the creature lifted its head and roared, spraying raindrops of water over the three Titans.
"The magical plesiosaurus has spoken!" Cyborg cried. "We must carry on to Candy Mountain, Robin!"
Robin's mouth dropped open. "He... he… he didn't even say anything!" But they were well ahead of him.
Beast Boy and Cyborg continued singing their random tune as they and Robin continued their journey through the forest. The canopy was thick and blocked out the sun's rays. 'Where are they taking me?' Robin wondered. Then, he saw two figures not to far ahead on them. They were both girls. One was tall with long red hair, and the other only reached up to her shoulders and she wore a long blue cloak.
"Raven! Starfire!" Robin cried and ran up to meet them. He puffed and painted when he reached them. "Raven, Starfire… Cyborg and… Beast Boy are… acting weirdly." But they disregarded him whatsoever.
"Hey girls!" Beast Boy greeted them.
"Hey Beast Boy, Cyborg," the girls greeted them simultaneously, still ignoring Robin. "Where are you going?"
"We're going to Candy Mountain!" Cyborg replied.
The girl's wore uncharacteristic smiles. "Have fun!"
Before Robin knew it, they had left the dark forest, and made it to a clearing.
Cyborg gestured to the large rock in front of them. "Welcome, to Candy Mountain!"
Robin raised an eyebrow. It didn't really look like a mountain at all. It was only approximately the size of Titan Tower, and it was a very much magenta colour and had prints of candy all over it, and a sign above the cave that led inside had "Candy Mountain" written in red, wavy text. Robin sighed, but decided it was best to just play along. "Wow, so there really is a Candy Mountain."
Suddenly, the words of "Candy" came to life and jumped off the sigh. Then music started to play.
"Where's that music coming from?" Robin wondered out loud, but his question never got an answer as the letters started to sing a very strange song.
Oh when you're down and looking for some cheering up, then just head right on up to the candy mountain cave. They formed a circle around Robin as they sang their annoying song. When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheering land, such a happy and joy filled and perky, merry land. By now, Beast Boy and Cyborg were dancing along while Robin stood still, a scowl on his face and his arms folded.
They've got lollipops and gummy drops and candy things. Oh so many things that will brighten up your day. As they sang those lines, candy magically appeared out of nowhere. It's impossible to wear a frown in candy town.
Robin grinded his teeth and bawled his fist as the letters sang their annoying song. It's the Mecca of love and candy canes. They've got jellybeans and coconuts with little hats, candy rats, chocolate bats it's a wonderland of sweets. Ride the candy train to town and hear the candy band! Candy bells, it's a treat, and they march across the land! Cherry ribbons stream across the sky and to the ground. Turn around, it astounds, it's a dancing candy tree, and the candy cane imagination runs so free. So now Robin please will you go into the cave! As soon as they finished their little musical number, they gathered into a small heap and exploded. KABOOM!
Cyborg and Beast Boy applauded. "Robin, would please step into the candy Mountain cave, Robin?"
Robin looked at them as if they were joking. "You have to be kidding. There is no way I'm going to step into that clearly fake cave."
The two stepped closer with uncharacteristic looks on their faces. "Enter the cave, Robin… Enter the wonderful cave of sugar, and magic, and joy, and sugar-"
"Alright, alright!" Robin cried. "I'll enter the stupid cave." Muttering their death plans, he stepped through the arch entrance of the cave and was met with a dim light. He gazed around at his surroundings. Something wasn't right…
"Goodbye, Robin," he then heard Cyborg say.
He wheeled around and gazed at them with horror. "Wait, what?" But he didn't have a chance to say anymore, as the cave entrance was blocked by a steel door. "Hey! Guys? What just happened? What are you doing?"
Suddenly, shuffling sounds and footsteps could be heard. "Slade? Is that you? Are you behind this? Where are my real-" But he didn't have a chance to say anymore as he was knocked unconscious by a blow from the back of the head.
Robin opened his eyes wearily. What had just happened? The last thing he remembered was Cyborg and Beast Boy (With very uncharacteristic voices) were leading him through a random forest to some "Candy Mountain" and he went inside and was knocked unconscious. Was it all just a dream?
In the end, he decided to go and search for the very two that led him to the mountain. But just as he moved to climb to his feet, he felt a sharp pain in his middle. Glancing down and pulling his shirt up, he noticed a bloody, stitched up scar across his middle. He finally realised what had happened.
"Ah, God! They took my freakin' kidney!"
He finally jolted out of his dream, sweating and puffing and panting like a dog. Just to check that he was in reality and not dreaming again, he pitched his earlobe. Yep, he defiantly was not dreaming. He also checked his middle again. No scar. It all had been a dream. A weird, sick, twisted dream.
"What are you doing?" A familiar monotone voice asked him from the other side of the sofa. Robin glanced in the direction and saw that it was none other then Raven herself. She sat there, half glaring at him and a rather large book lying open in her hands.
"Uh…" Robin searched for an explanation, but came to the conclusion that he had nothing. "Nothing."
Raven just rolled her eyes and muttered something that Robin could not hear, but he didn't care. He just breathed at sigh of relief. It was all a dream. All a dream…
"Robin!" He heard another girls call his name. It was a voice he knew very well.
"Y-yes, Starfire?" Robin replied.
She glided over to him, a happy smile on her face and her hands behind her back. "I have made something I think you would very much enjoy!"
Robin immediately felt nervous. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate her going to all the trouble to make and the others her native deliquesces, it was just that were just… sometimes to… different to enjoy properly. "W-what did you make?"
Starfire's sunny smile did not cloud over. She moved her hands from behind her back and showed Robin a very… interesting looking… thing. It didn't look very edible. In all truth it looked like a…
"Is that a… kidney?" Robin asked. He couldn't stop the fear entering his voice.
Starfire looked slightly taken back. "Yes, it is a-"
She didn't get to finish, as Robin had jumped from the sofa, and ran out of the Tower screaming at the top of his lungs and waving his arms frantically.
Cyborg, who had been watching the entire scene remarked, "Wow, he runs fast for a little guy."
Starfire felt slightly sad. "I was just going to tell Robin that it was a Zhorka kidney. The people of my planet love this meal. Why did he do that?"
The other Titans could only replied with a shrug of their shoulders.
Well? What do think? Funny? Lame? Tell me what you think, please. R&R!
Oh, and ThSamurai and realfanfics, I'll update my chapters fics soon.
Tsukikage1213