Warning: Violence, sexual situations
Eternal Fall: part VIII: Honesty
The next few years were like a blur to Sephy. People hardly saw him outside of training. Some instructors had to make sure he was eating, because he was never spotted at the cafeteria. If at all possible, he remained by himself, not even caring to examine human interaction as he used to.
When he was nine, he gave up hoping that he would ever see Professor Gast again. He slowly started to believe that Gast no longer cared about him, and he also wondered if Gast ever did care about him. Knowing that Gast worked with Hojo didn't help much. But Sephy would always spend time meditating with the materia Gast had given him until he was sure that he had unlocked all of it's secrets. It relaxed him to become one with the materia and feel its warmth and strength.
At age ten, Sephy graduated from high school and moved on to higher learning. He set out to major in biological science, even though he never thought he would be able to become a doctor. He still thought it would be a good idea to have the knowledge of how to help people in some way. It was also this year that he put his materia away and began to study the arts of black and white mages. His instructors told him how pointless these studies were, but he knew that the powers of the mages were real. He didn't want to rely on materia, so he learned to use and magnify his power under a private instructor. Sephy was very surprised that his request was granted, but realized that they would grant anything that turned him into a more effective killer.
At age eleven, multiple tests of Sephy revealed more about how Mako enhancements actually activated many Jenova cells. Some members of the SOLDIER branch without families started to disappear. Rumors stated that some were spotted year Nibelheim. Sephy had little knowledge of the findings that were being gained through experiments on his body. Although he didn't see much room for advancement or purpose in his life anymore, he continued to consent to whatever the ShinRa wanted him to do. After living his whole young life obeying the orders of others, it seemed natural to him.
It was the following year that would not be a blur... but rather, a year that would burn itself into his brain forever...
Sephy didn't know it was his twelfth birthday the day he was summoned to ShinRa headquarters. It had been years since anyone beat him up to signal that a year had passed for him, and he often forgot to keep track himself since he didn't know birthdays were really celebrated. He didn't know that the ShinRa were keeping track of his age in order to examine what tests should be performed to gradually turn him into the ultimate solder. And what he really didn't know was that this year, the experiments would be far from gradual.
Sephy stood up when President ShinRa came into the waiting room and saluted. He knew the president was probably thinking about how short Sephy still was or how much he looked like a girl. These things didn't bother Sephy anymore though.
"Well, it looks like you're at least old enough to do this," President ShinRa muttered.
Sephy said nothing, only stood there quietly.
"Sephiroth, I want you to go down to basement level-F and tell Hojo that I approve of the experiment that you are to be a part of."
"Yes sir, Mr. President!" Sephy said.
"Dismissed," the president said, after handing Sephy a card key.
"Yes sir, Mr. President!"
Sephy turned and left. He headed for the basement level and told Hojo what ShinRa had told him. Hojo only smiled to himself and ordered Sephy to a secluded room. He then told him to undress. Sephy obediently shed all of his clothing and stood there. Suddenly, a large group of men and women entered. Hojo told Sephy not to fight as his wrists were chained above his head. Now Sephy stood there in the middle of the room, helpless and vulnerable. Hojo only smirked and left, but Sephy knew he would be watching from some camera somewhere.
It took a few moments for Sephy to realize that these people weren't scientists or members of the military. They were all wearing lab coats, but there was something different about them.
"My, you're very developed for a twelve year old," one of the women commented slyly.
Sephy blinked as she walked up to him and ran her hands up the sides of his body. She gently slid his long hair away from his chest. "You're growing into a young man much faster than most boys your age."
Sephy continued to remain silent. Suddenly the woman dropped her lab coat to the floor, revealing her nude body. Sephy closed his eyes.
"Why do you shut your eyes?" she asked. "Do you think I'm ugly?"
"No ma'am."
"Then why? Are you being polite?"
"Yes ma'am."
"I want you to open your eyes, Sephiroth."
Sephy obeyed and opened his eyes.
"I want you to look at my body."
Once again, he obeyed.
"Tell me exactly what you're thinking," she said, something dark in her voice.
Sephy looked at her for a few moments before speaking. "Judging by your thin structure, the stretching of the skin at your chest, and the way your breasts defy gravity, I would say that you are using some kind of implanted enhancement. Judging by your bone structure, it would appear that you are underweight, and--"
"That isn't what we mean!" one of the men interrupted, laughing. Many of the others were laughing as well, but the woman Sephy addressed looked furious.
"I apologize," Sephy said, as one of the men undressed as well.
"What do you think of her in terms of sexuality?" one of the other men asked.
Sephy was actually afraid of this question. He glanced at her again and lowered his eyes slightly.
"Look at him too, Sephiroth," one of them said, as the man stood next to her.
Sephiroth looked at both of them, then lowered his eyes again. To his surprise, there was another part of him that wasn't lowering...
"What do you think, Sephiroth?"
"I think... I... I..."
"Do you want either of them?"
"Want them for what, sir?"
"Do you want to have sex? Answer honestly."
Sephy blushed with embarrassment and the glow in his eyes brightened slightly.
"Answer Sephiroth. Have you ever thought about having sex? It is very normal for boys your age. Have you?"
"Yes sir," Sephy said, after much hesitation.
"Oh, we're scaring him," the nude woman said. She slid her fingers under his chin and made him look into her eyes. "It's painful, having these urges, isn't it?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Trust me, life would be more focused for you without them. We will help you get rid of them for good. Then you will be a more focused soldier."
Sephy blinked and looked around as all of the people in the room shed their clothes.
"This is for your own good," the woman said. "It is very simple really. If you get aroused, there will be punishment. That way, your body will learn that sexuality is not needed in your life. Do you understand?"
"Yes ma'am," Sephy said, not letting on his fear at what they would be doing to him.
The woman pressed her body against his and slowly slid down against him. He suppressed a shiver as her breasts slid down his body, but could not keep himself from nearly jumping five feet in the air when she touched him in a place he knew to be inappropriate. The woman only laughed and wrapped her arms around him, holding him there as she kissed him. Sephy shut his eyes and wished he could be somewhere else. But soon his thoughts drifted to being somewhere else with her. He quickly snapped back to reality and just wished this whole experiment was over with.
"No..." he gasped softly without realizing it. It wasn't that it didn't feel good as she touched him. But there were people watching, and he wanted to be a gentleman to this woman. She pulled away slowly, and he knew something painful would be coming as a punishment. Electricity wouldn't work as well on his body anymore, so they would have to use a lot of force.
That's what the whip was for. A few cracks of the whip calmed the excitement in his body blasted any thought of sex from his mind. His body quickly set to work and healed the injury. But then the woman knelt in front of him and set to work again. Sometimes she would use her hands, and sometimes just her mouth, but each time he became aroused, they would whip him. Then, just to mix things up, they started to beat him as well.
The woman stepped back for a break, and a new type of stimulation was in order. A large man suddenly wrapped his arm around Sephy from behind and whispered for him to relax. But Sephy found that he could hardly relax anymore. He bucked forward as the man's fingers wandered but didn't get far due to the chains. Sephy had no idea what he was feeling, but it scared him.
"Stop," Sephy begged, having no idea what was happening to his body.
"It is for your own good," the man responded. Soon Sephy was ready for another punishment again. The man slowly moved away, and Sephiroth cried out as the whip hit him again. He realized that the whip had some kind of barbs on it, and from the way it burned and lingered, there was probably some kind of chemical as well. Sephy was exhausted, but the man continued stimulating him until it was someone else's turn to experiment.
Sephy was touched in every way possible, but never forced to enter or be entered in an actual sexual encounter. There were also times when he was just forced to watch as the people in the room had sex. Most of the time, his body would betray him, and he would be punished severely for it. He was sent home, bruised and bleeding and absolutely horrified. But he was made to come back week after week for this. Being a good soldier, and not having it in him to lie or make excuses, he always returned.
Soon the experiment started to have dramatic effects on Sephy. Hardly anything they did to him would yield a response. Sometimes it seemed as though something might work, but then his body calmed down quickly. Sephy had no desire to see a naked body or masturbate or have a sexual relationship. He found that when he woke up from a wet dream, he would also wake up screaming as though it were the worst nightmare he had ever experienced.
This experiment continued for six months. And then, it seemed as though there was no chance of the ShinRa ever losing Sephiroth to anyone.
How is my poor boy
"..."
I know you can hear me...
"..."
Not in the mood to talk?
"..."
You're upset. You're upset because they won't let you be human.
"..."
Trust me, it's for the best. Train hard now and good things will come out of it later.
"...Stop it..."
Stop what?
"Go be someone else's guardian angel! I want to be alone!"
But why, dear Sephiroth?
"Because I hate you! I don't trust you! If you were truly watching out for me none of this would be happening!!!! I just want you to go away! Go away forever!!!!"
But I can't. Don't you see? I am a part of you. Even when I'm silent, I'm still with you.
"No! Go away! Please! ...Please... I don't want anyone watching. I don't want expectations... I want to have my own life. I want parents and friends and... everything! But now, I just want to be left alone!"
Become a soldier first and see what happens.
"But... I don't want to hurt anyone! I don't ever want to hurt anyone. It doesn't have to be that way! I know somehow I can stop it all!"
But you must--
"I'll tell you what I must do. I must run away."
But you can't!
"I'm big enough now. I can!"
But people's lives are hanging on the line, Sephiroth. If you leave, people will die for it!
"What?!"
You belong to the ShinRa. If you escape, countless people will be killed for not being able to stop you.
"No..."
I'm sorry.
"This... will never end..."
Sephy studied the various battle plans and strategies for a long time. He then looked at the large map on the office wall. All the while, his superiors kept an eye on him.
"Do you approve?" one of the officers asked finally.
"No sir," Sephy said, as he stared at another chart.
"Why is that?"
"We have too many people massed near the northern entrance to this battlefield," Sephy said, pointing. "One good shot with a long range weapon would cause our forces to scatter. Furthermore, the enemy can easily attack from the mountains here, and wouldn't be easily detected from that distance. There are too many people stationed on the east side as well, considering that there is little chance for the enemy to assemble a good sized group that can function effectively over the terrain that's beyond the entrance to the east side of the battlefield. Many of our soldiers would be more effective guarding the south entrance. Since Mako weapons are new to the battlefield, I wouldn't advise depending on them for a battle of this size. There is a high probability that they will give us an advantage, but that fact is not certain."
His superior officers nodded and spoke amongst themselves. Sephy rubbed his throat, a little annoyed that his voice seemed to crack every now and then when he spoke. They finally looked to him once more.
"Very well done, Sephiroth. You've done better on this test than we could have hoped. Hopefully one day, when you're much older, we'll see you at a command position."
"Thank you, sir."
"Dismissed."
"Sir, yes sir!" Sephy saluted and then exited the office.
He actually felt very good about having passed that test. It was easy for him, and he had passed the previous tests just like it. He had strong doubts that he'd ever be given a command position, but it felt good to prove that he could do something. Even Hojo didn't insult him as much, because he was showing some good results. Of course, Hojo saw it necessary to remind him that he was still far behind most people his age in his studies and his training, but that didn't bother Sephy anymore. Hojo said the only reason he was in classes with so many older people was because they failed to start their studies on time. Sephy began to wonder if that was all a lie. If it was true, why was he the only one of his age there? According to Hojo, it was because this was the only place to station Sephy so he would be close enough to ShinRa Headquarters. And since Sephy had no idea what the rest of the world was like, he had no idea if he was ahead or behind everyone else.
"FIRE!" someone screamed as he approached the barracks.
Sephy looked up to see several older students running out of a building. Smoke started to rise from the windows. It was a matter of seconds before the rest of the large barrack caught on fire. A few more people stumbled out, choking and gasping for air.
"Where is he?" one young man asked.
"I don't know," another yelled. "He set the fire and handcuffed himself to his bed!"
Sephy saw a few more people stumble out, and he could tell there were still people inside from the many worried looks around him. Without giving it a second thought he ran inside. It wasn't until he was deep inside the enormous barrack that he realized that the fire's heat didn't do so much as even tickle his skin. The fire materia in his body automatically started to feed off of the fire, generating a shield of energy around him that extended just far enough to save most of his clothes and hair.
He immediately decided to ponder the odd workings of his body later. He found two people ducking down in the shower. He immediately grabbed their hands and ran through the building, straight to the emergency exit using the safest path possible. He realized that even the heat of the flames were burning them without touching them, and they choked on the smoke. But once outside, they were just happy to be alive. Sephy ran back into the building despite their protests, coughing and gasping for air. His body could protect him from the fire, but not the smoke. He quickly ducked to the floor and held his breath before standing up looking for more people. The barrack was like a giant oven, and his body started to tell him that the heat would soon grow to be enough to kill even him.
Run, Sephiroth! Leave now! came the woman's voice.
"No! If I can't save them no one can!"
No one is left!
It seemed that she was right. He couldn't find another soul. But then he heard groaning from a distance. He ran in that direction until he came to a young man who was handcuffed to his bed. Sephy approached him, but the young man shot an angry gaze towards him.
"Get the fuck out of here!" he yelled.
"What are you doing?!" Sephy yelled back.
"Listen kid! You need to mind your own business and get the fuck out!"
"I'll drag you if I have to!"
"For what?!" the young man screamed, tears in his eyes as the bed caught fire. "What the fuck for?! To save my life?! Is that what?! I don't have a life! Got it?! There isn't a damn thing you can do to save me!!!! The fucking ShinRa are using us, kid! Got it?! FUCK THEM! Since I was young, I've had to deal with their shit! We're supposed to serve President ShinRa and these other fuckers?! Well kid, maybe you'd think twice if the president fucked YOU up the ass. FUCK THE SHINRA!"
Sephy couldn't ignore the words, but he knew he couldn't stop moving either. Without thinking he grabbed the handcuffs and snapped the chain with his bare hands. The young man started shrieking as the fire caught him. It was a terrible sound. As if screams and maniacal laugher had mixed. Sephy grabbed him by the wrist and started to pull him, but the young man resisted. He wasn't strong enough to break away from Sephy, but he did manage to invite more flames to engulf him. It wasn't long before Sephy had to let go, because the shrieking ceased, and he was left holding nothing but a charred limb. He finally exited, his head lowered.
He was surrounded by officers as soon as he made it outside. It was as if the whole event inside made him forget himself, because now he was back to reality and gasping for air.
"Arrest him and punish him for starting another fire," one of the men said.
"WHAT?!" Sephy coughed. "But sir, I didn't--" His voice left him when he looked up and found himself staring at a group of Turks.
"Where is the one who really started the fire?" Sephy heard one of them whispering through his powerful hearing.
"Probably dead," another whispered.
"Sephiroth," one of them said. "You are to be arrested for this. Please put your hands behind your head and kneel to the ground."
Suddenly guns were pointed at him from all sides. The Turks were so icy in their blue suits, sunglasses, and with their cold guns.
"You know I didn't start this fire!" Sephy yelled. "You know! Why are you doing this?! I demand an answer before I agree to anything!" Suddenly Sephy grew still. "It's true... What he said... it's true! President ShinRa did hurt him! You're trying to cover up his suicide! You're afraid they'll look for the real reason he killed himself!"
"Shut up!" one of the Turks yelled, drawing his gun like the others.
"No! I will not let you arrest me for murder!"
A crowd was building not far away, but various officers soon moved them away as the firemen worked. The two boys Sephy saved tried to get to him to see what was going on, but they were turned away.
"Come with us quietly or else!" another Turk yelled.
"Or else what?! You'll kill me?! That's better than what you have planned for me otherwise!"
"Or else we'll kill someone else," one of them said. "It's simple, Sephiroth. If you ever fail to cooperate with us, someone dies. Many will die."
Sephy didn't move. The last Turk who spoke only smiled and motioned to an officer in the distance. Suddenly, the one of the young men Sephy saved was let through. He ran to Sephy immediately.
"What's going on?!" the young man panted. "This kid didn't do anything wrong!"
"Oh," said one of the Turks. "But he did." He lifted his gun and shot the young man in the face.
Sephy cried out and caught the young man, but immediately had to look away. He knelt there on the ground with the young man's head on his lap. Blood rushed all around.
"Now, Sephiroth," the Turk said, putting his gun away. "You are to be arrested for setting this fire and killing the soldier inside. You are also to be charged with killing this boy for trying to speak out against you. It looks like some jail time is in order, eh?"
Sephy shook with rage. He knew there would be various beatings and other painful punishments for this. But nothing hurt more than seeing the dead young man in his arms.
"Oh yes," said the man. "Make that three charges."
Sephy's head snapped up to see the second boy he saved running over to him. He screamed for the boy to run away, but the bullet had already been fired. And in the distance, the fire rose, mirroring Sephy's anger and despair.
---To Be Continued---