Howdy! Here is the next chapter in this one. Enjoy!

Mel

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Author: Mel (aka Latinlvr84)
Copyright: 2007
Rating: PG-13
Chapter Title: Chapter Eighteen

"Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine, and we'll walk from this dark room for the last time..." Snow Patrol, Open Your Eyes

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Spencer and Ashley got out of the car and headed towards Spencer's front door. The two were planning to pick up some clothes for the blonde to wear for the next day at school. Spencer was a bit anxious about the "talk" that she and Ashley were going to have when they did finally arrive at the brunette's house later that night.

She wanted to know more about Ashley but didn't want to push her to reveal everything. One thought that kept going through Spencer's mind was 'Baby…what baby? Who is this Aiden guy that Kyla said Ash had a relationship with in High School?' She knew that Ashley had a past but never thought that her past could have consisted of a teenage pregnancy. She didn't think any less of Ashley she just felt more of a need to comfort her. She opened the door and both girls entered the quiet house.

"Looks like Marco awoke from the dead…" Spencer said noting her roomie's absence from the couch. She saw a note on the kitchen counter. "Ok well he's gone for the night…he said that he had an inspiration to paint after he woke up today. Look's like we have the whole place to ourselves…you want to stay here tonight?"

"Yeah…sure…You would probably be more comfortable here anyways…"Ashley sat down on the couch and waited for Spencer to join her.

Spencer walked over to get a couple glasses of wine for Ashley and herself to help calm the nerves that were sure to be coursing through the brunette. She handed Ashley her glass as she sat on the opposite end of the couch with her knees bent underneath her. She silently drank some wine waiting for Ashley to start talking. They sat in silence for a few minutes while Ashley built up her nerve.

"So…" Ashley began.

"Yeah…" Spencer said with a comforting tone.

"I guess I could start with the beginning and work from there…"

"Whatever works for you; we have all night." Spencer said reaching her hand out to grab Ashley's.

"Ok…well I was born." Ashley said matter-of-factly causing Spencer to smile a bit.

"You really are starting from the beginning huh?" Ashley laughed and continued.

"I mean of course I was born….but I don't know if my parents saw my birth as a blessing…or as a curse…." Ashley said looking at her hand in Spencer's. "Looking back I just think of how many times my mother told me that she should never have had me. That I just had to come along and ruin a good thing…my dad never said that I was a mistake…but you know…his absence over so many years of my life pretty much sent that message loud and clear."

"Hey…" Spencer picked up Ashley's chin. "If they thought you were a mistake then that was their problem. To the rest of the world and especially me, I see your coming into this world as a miracle." Ashley smiled.

"I don't know if I would go as far as saying a 'miracle.' Maybe a happy moment in time…" Ashley said tracing her fingertips over Spencer's palm.

"Ok well I personally thank your mother and father for bringing you into my life…" Spencer said smiling back at Ashley.

Ashley pulled Spencer closer to her and put her arm around the blonde's shoulder. She kissed the top of her head and continued. "So…I guess the next biggest thing on the Ashley Davies' timeline was when I found out I was gay. I mean I wasn't sure what I was…I mean at that time I had the same dreams of finding a boyfriend and going to prom. When I was growing up, there was a boy that was my best friend…Aiden….He was so nice to me and he was cute. Both Madison and I, you know the girl from Ky's stories, were actually best friends too at one point. But we hit High School and everything changed."

Spencer leaned her head on Ashley's shoulder and rested her left hand on the brunette's thigh as she wrapped her other arm around the brunette's back.

"Aiden started to hang out with the cool kids but was still hanging around me. I was considered cool because of who my father was but I saw how fake they were with their interest. I grew tired of it and started to just stay by myself trying not to stand out. Madison joined the cheerleading squad and quickly started to become one hell of a bitch to the other kids at school. She was still talking to me but not as much as we used to. One day before the end of our freshman year, Aiden and I were hanging out at his house and we were watching a movie…he leaned over to me, turned my head, and kissed me. I had no idea what was going on…I mean this was my best friend. I really didn't know what to do so I kissed him back. After that day, we started 'dating'." Ashley picked up her wine glass taking another sip before setting it down on the stand beside her.

"So he was your first boyfriend?" Spencer asked the brunette.

"Yeah…and my last…I mean we had a couple of problems happen and I found him one day making out with Madison in the gym after a basketball practice. I was so angry that I went home and tore up all the pictures I had of him and me. That night I decided to go out with another boy that was on the basketball team to show Aiden…we were supposed to go to Gray's…a club we went to all the time…but the guy wasn't interested and took off with another girl. I was sitting there all night wondering what the hell had happened…I felt like such an idiot and I was about to leave when the most beautiful girl sat down with me." Spencer could feel Ashley's heartbeat speed up with the memory of this girl.

"She was just so beautiful…she said that she was at the door working and saw my date leave with another girl. She asked me if I wanted to go back to her place and I said yes. I mean I had thoughts of girls and how pretty they were but I never thought of them in a sexual way…that is until that night. She was so gentle and sweet…after that night I knew that I was different." Ashley said leaning down to kiss Spencer.

"I wasn't sure if I was gay or bi since I had been with Aiden so I had a couple of dates with other girls and a few guys. The guys definitely lost their appeal in my mind so I knew that I was gay at that point. I didn't want to hide who I was; I wasn't really aware of how much hell I was putting on myself for not wanting to hide though. One of the times my mom was actually home, I got the nerve to tell her. She figured that it was just another way for me to try to get more attention and laughed at me. Word got out about my dates with some other girls and Madison along with her other 'friends' confronted me one day after school. She asked if I was a 'dyke' and I looked her straight in the eyes saying that I was gay. She never let up on me about my sexuality and I snapped one day. Aiden was shocked to hear that I was gay but would always pull Madison off of me during our many fights. I started to think that I never wanted to be in a relationship again so I started to sleep around….a lot…I guess it's horrible for me to say that none of the girls I slept with meant anything to me. I was just so alone that I needed to feel something…anything…especially after my dad died…I was so numb and I slept with I don't know how many girls…" Ashley shook her head and took another sip of her wine glass.

"Aiden and I weren't talking much because I honestly didn't care about what he wanted to say to me…when my dad had that car crash he was there for me and he and I started to hang out more…Of course I thought it was only in a friend capacity that he was being so supportive." Ashley shook her head laughing at herself.

"After my dad died, Ky showed up out of the blue. Madison and Aiden had broken up because she found a 'better prospect' and Aiden started to date Ky. I always caught him looking at me though and one day I snapped asking what his problem was. He told me he still loved me and that he knew I still loved him. I told him that I didn't want him like that and I thought he got the message. Ky was so in love with him…then one night he was over at our house sitting on the couch with me waiting for Ky to come down for their date. He pulled me to him and tried to kiss me. I pushed him off and told him that he was an asshole who didn't deserve my sister. He got up and tried to kiss me again so I kneed him in between his legs telling him that I wanted him out of my life as well as my sisters. Ky had seen him try to kiss me but I didn't know this until a year or two later. She rarely mentioned Aiden's name over the next year and we avoided any contact he sent us. Eventually, he moved on and went off to some college out east for basketball." Ashley became quiet; she knew that she would have to tell Spencer more about her past with Aiden but didn't say a word.

"Ash…" Spencer asked quietly.

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to push you or anything but what Kyla said earlier…about…" Spencer said hesitantly.

"About the baby…" Ashley said taking a deep breath.

"Yeah…do you want to talk about it?" Spencer said hoping that she wasn't pushing the girl.

"Not really. But you deserve to know everything." Ashley said kissing the top of Spencer's forehead.

"When Aiden and I were dating, we really didn't do anything in the beginning. After one of his basketball games, we were alone in his house and he asked me if I wanted him to be my first. I thought it would be great but it was over before it even began. We tried a few more times but he could tell I wasn't really into it so we decided to cool it down. A few weeks after we stopped, I noticed how I was getting sick in the mornings and how I was feeling dizzy throughout school. I told Aiden I wasn't feeling well so he asked me to go see a doctor. He went with me and I found out that I was…"Ashley sighed. "I was pregnant." Spencer squeezed Ashley's body letting her know that it was ok to continue.

"Aiden freaked at first but then he started telling me all his plans about how we were going to get married and that he would support me with the money he would make from his basketball career. I had to tell my mom to see what I should do. She told me that I was a stupid girl who would have to deal with my own problems and to leave her out of it. I was happy that I was pregnant because for once in my life I could have someone who loved me unconditionally. I would have been a good mother…" Ashley started to cry. "I just wish I would have been able to have that chance."

Spencer took Ashley in her arms whispering, "It's ok Ash. You can tell me what happened. Shhh…"

"I…lost…the…baby." Ashley said through her sobs. "I woke up one day and saw my sheets covered in…blood…and I called Aiden to take me to the hospital and they told me…that the baby…oh god…"Ashley continued to cry and Spencer held her tighter.

"I'm so sorry Ash…I'm so sorry."

Spencer walked the sobbing brunette to her bedroom and laid her on her bed. She went to her drawers and found a pair of boxers and a t-shirt for Ashley to wear. She went back to the brunette who was still crying and helped her undress to put on the pajamas. After Ashley was in the clothes, Spencer changed and laid behind the girl wrapping her arms around her. She let Ashley cry out all the pain and held her until she felt the brunette fall asleep in her arms.

"I'm so sorry Ash…" Spencer said kissing Ashley's cheek. "I should never have pushed you…" She kissed the girl again and whispered in her ear. "Just remember baby…That I love you….unconditionally…I love you….and that's forever." Spencer kissed Ashley again before falling asleep still embracing the brunette hoping that she could help in some way to make up for all the pain Ashley had endured over her life.

"I love you too, Spencer…Forever." Ashley whispered in her sleep.