Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach…sadly D:
Yay! I finally decided to be not lazy and write this chapter! XD And it only took me…more…than…one…year…o.O Wow…I haven't updated in…almost a year. That's one major writers' block. Well anyways, today is the first day of our beloved captains' punishment. What horrors await them?
I kinda gave up on the italics, bolds, etc, etc…cuz after re-reading the last chapter, I saw that it might be a little confusing.
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The 2nd Division
Byakuya stared at the snoring lump that had been identified as his new fukutaichou. The room, what supposedly was the office, was in shambles. Bags of random snack items were strewn about and crumbs were scattered everywhere. Byakuya actually started to pity the 4th division. Cleaning this place day after day must be hell.
Looking around, the noble managed find a…few (coughcough) piles of paperwork buried underneath all the wrappers. All of which belonged to the slob, who was now, unconsciously, using Byakuya's captain haori to wipe away a strand of drool. It took all of the Kuchiki's willpower to not unleash bankai on the other "noble." Since there was nothing for him to do (Soi Fong had already taken care of her paperwork), he decided to awaken said lump. Of course, his idea of "awakening" was a sharp jab in the face with Senbonzakura's hilt.
The 3rd Division
"Ano…Hitsugaya-taichou?"
"What is it?" snapped Hitsugaya, scowling at the poor fukutaichou.
"W-where is…um…Ichimaru-taichou? And…why are you wearing the sanbantai-taichou haori?"
Hitsugaya gave a glare towards the skittish Kira as he made his way towards the surprisingly clean desk of Ichimaru's.
'He must've made Kira or a 4th division member do it' thought the icy tensai. "Yamamoto-soutaichou-dono commanded that Ichimaru and I switch divisions for a week…or more." Hitsugaya glanced around. "Where is all the paperwork?"
"I a-already finished them and filed them away."
'Now I don't have anything to do,' thought Hitsugaya while sighing.
The 4th and 5th Divisions
"Five hundred (whatever the hell the currency is) on Zaraki-taichou," Unohana calmly smiled and sipped her tea.
"Hmm, you may have a point. However, calm as he may appear, Kuchiki has quite the temper with the likes of Omaeda-fukutaichou," Aizen replied, refilling his own.
Unohana pondered the situation a minute then smiled. "I suppose we may have many more patients than usual this week."
Isane and Hinamori both sweatdroppd at their captains' conversation and quietly inched away, just a bit, slowly.
The 6th Division
Renji was originally lying back on his chair calmly sipping sake from a bottle with his feet propped on the paperwork that he was supposed to do. He had decided to take a break since Byakuya was in a captains' meeting. However, he was now crouched in a dark corner cowering in fear. Soi Fong towered over him, her eyes glistening evilly, and the red-head could swear that flames surrounded her body.
"You…will…work," hissed the ninja, cracking her knuckles and looming in.
"Y-Y-YES M-MA'AM!"
Well, that puts a cork in going to "casually" visiting Rukia for the red haired fukutaichou.
The 7th Division
Since nothing eventful happens, the 7th (and 9th) divisions are purposefully excluded. The lieutenants were merely slightly more confused and bored than usual.
The 8th Division
"Um…Ukitake-taichou?"
"Yes, Ise-fukutaichou?"
"Where is Kyouraku-taichou?"
Jyuushirou sighed and began to explain Yama-jii's punishment.
The 9th Division
See 7th. -.-;;
The 10th Division
Matsumoto perked up at the sound of the door sliding open. "Neh, Shirou-chan! I got 20 sheets of paperwork done already! Can I have a day off?" She turned around expecting to see the annoyed scowl of a boy but found, instead, the grins of an amused fox. "Gin? What are you doing here?"
"Oyaa?" Ichimaru slinked through the door while tugging at his new taichou haori. "Rangiku-chan! Hisashiburi desu ne?" (Translation: Long time no see!)
"Mmhmm!" she nodded. "Do you have any sake? Shirou-chan hid it all, and I don't want to look for it."
Stealthily, Gin shunpoed behind the lieutenant and wrapped his arms around her, an action most men in Seireitei would kill to be capable of doing without a slap across the face and a blade at their throats. "Ne, I've gotta betta idea. Why don' we make up fo' all tah lost time, eh?"
In an effort to keep this rated T and under, we shall delete the following very very beyond M rated scenes. And don't ask for them cuz we never wrote them to begin with. Use your imaginations. Sorry fangirls. Or boys…no comment on that. (Hey, it happens!)
The 11th Division
Before we begin, we will ask you to picture the following scene.
Kurotsuchi Mayuri. Crazy mad scientist captain that is very, very smart. In a bad way.
The 11th Division. Full of brutes and bloodthirsty idiots.
Kusajishi Yachiru. Small, hyper, pink-haired, chibified lieutenant that is the equivalent of an unnaturally powerful six-year-old.
What else would ensue but chaos?
We now return you to our regularly scheduled program.
"Who the hell're you?" growled an unimportant-what-so-ever 11th division member.
Kurotsuchi's eyebrow twitched.
"Hey, you're that guy that leads those computer geeky weaklings next door! The hell're you doin' here?" piped up another one "intelligently".
Another twitch.
"Hey, Bozo-chan!" came an annoyingly familiar voice from the vicinity of his lower legs. "Where's Ken-chan?"
"Kenpachi and I are ordered by Yamamoto-soutaichou-dono to exchange divisions for the time being." replied the crazy scientist, trying not to turn every division member into a lab experiment.
The little girl looked up at him confused but then suddenly lit up. "…okay! Will ya play with me then? Baldy is always running away, Feather-brows is playing with his hair, and Maki-Maki is in at Uno-chan's place cuz I bit him!"
At this point, Kurotsuchi took a leaf from Kuchiki-taichou's book, pulled a large bag of chocolate flakes from his sleeve, and tossed it out the window. Less than a second later, a pink blur could be seen shooting out the window and yelling, "WHEEEEEEEE!"
Unfortunately for the 12th-temporarily-11th division captain, he did not foresee the possible effect that the sugar and caffeine content of chocolate might have on the young lieutenant. We pause for a moment to shake our heads in pity…
(insert many fangirls/boys shaking their heads sadly)
Okay, done pausing!
The 12th Division
"Z-ZARAKI-TAICHOU!!" "NO…STOP, THAT'S NOT A TRAINING…AHHHHHH NO!" "STTTTOOOOOOPPPPPP!!"
Akon sighed as he watched the blood-crazed shinigami, known as Zaraki Kenpachi, run about the lab, ruining years of research, projects, and just plainly terrorizing the scientists.
'Well, at least I have an excuse now for a week long—' his thoughts were interrupted by another explosion, '…month long vacation,' thought the scientist as he waited for the tranquilizer to finally take effect on the crazy berserker captain.
The 13th Division
"KIYONE-CHAAAAAAAAA"
SLAM!
"Pervert!"
Kyouraku's running leap was intercepted by a screen door, which he promptly crashed through, falling dejectedly to the floor.
--
"Hence the chaotic first day began. What horrors will await our beloved (nearly insane) captains in the following week? Stay tuned tomorrow to see. Our lines are open to bets to see who, from both captains and lieutenants, will crack first. Our phone number is #-&-!&. Call now….and cut! That's a wrap people!"
"Oi Rukia! When did you become the director?!" shouted Ichigo balancing some heavy mechanical objects, all of which came crashing to the ground when a very fast-moving microphone hit his forehead with unerring accuracy.
"Because this whole thing was my idea, you dolt!" the petite shinigami yelled.
Ishida, Chad, and Inoue all sweatdropped at the scene before resuming their "work".
To be continued…
Finally!! XD I finally managed to finish this after…-looks at calendar and sweat drops-…A YEAR! For those who are probably wondering, no I'm not going to quit any of my stories or fanfiction for the matter of fact. Please continue to support me and muh stories and if possible GIVE IDEAS OR SUGGESTIONS TO WHAT YOU WANT!! That is all xP DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!
Hi, Erava here, formerly known as M1y4k1! I guess I'm the co-author of this story, though it's a little hard to write, or even beta, something when all the characters are pretty much dead to you. Bleach died to me, like, years ago. I don't have the talent for multiple obsessions that dearest Kadoku seems to have. As of now, I'm a total FFVII rabid fangirl. I actually should be writing my other stories…Dammit. Anyway, shameless author self-promotion over! Lots of love!