- Hurt -

For the first time in the 5 years he's lived with the knowledge, Kakashi thinks he understands his father's final decision.

He's in hospital, fighting aimlessly, pointlessly and hopelessly against the nurses trying to sedate him. He's not hysterical, he reasons with himself as he lashes blindly out, he's just hurting. There's nothing more to it. He's hurting so badly on the inside that he feels like he's dying and he's dealing with it the only way he knows how.

He supposes they were alerted by the pained scream he let out as he drove his fist into the mirror before him, and then again into the wall behind it, and again and again and again until his knuckles were bleeding and nurses were pulling him away.

He feels the needle penetrate his skin and he slowly stops resisting, letting the medics catch him before he hits the floor and the glass that covers it.

Tears are spilling down his cheeks and he wants to wipe them away. He's a Shinobi, he doesn't cry, he doesn't break down like this, he doesn't scream in hysteria until he feels like he's ripping his throat apart.

Only that's not true, because he is crying, he has broken down and his throat is raw, his screams still echoing in his ears.

He doesn't think he's ever felt so ashamed in his entire life as he does now. That's why he smashed the mirror in the first place. He needed something to take the pain out on, and Obito was looking at him. Obito and that blood red eye of his, the one that should be nothing now, that should be squashed and broken and dead, buried beneath the rocks along with it's owner. Only it's not, it's living on in Kakashi and he can't bear it.

Obito - his enemy, his rival, his friend.

The boy he watched die barely 2 hours ago, the blood barely washed off his hands.

He's fighting the sedative, trying to protest, making a feeble attempt to push the medics away as he's half carried and half dragged back to his bed. He hears someone order that he be put on suicide watch and he wants to laugh.

He thinks she just might have read his mind, but then if that's true she's read it wrong. He doesn't want to kill himself. He merely understands his father's decision to do so; but it's not a path he wants to venture down himself.

His Sensei must have suggested that he thinks, like father like son…True, it might free him of the guilt and the shame and the pain, but then Obito's death would be a mean to no end. He'd be throwing away the life the Uchiha had given his to save. And there's Rin. He has to live for Rin, to look after to, to protect her.

He's put back into bed and the IV's and breathing apparatus he removed are attached once again. A familiar voice asks what's going on and he hears a nurse mutter that its "nothing to worry about," absently as she checks his bandaged wounds.

There's a hand on his head and Kakashi can see a blur of bright blonde hair and shimmering azure eyes. His sensei.

He must have brought him here, he thinks, he can't really remember himself. He doesn't remember much after they destroyed the bridge. Perhaps the man put a sleep jutsu on him, or maybe he colapsed from exhuastion, he contemplates, testing his mouth, only to find that he can't make a sound.

He wants to ask about Rin, he needs to know if she's okay, because he promised him, he promised him he'd look after her and she has to be alright, he can't fail this early on.

He's still gazing pleadingly at his Sensei, willing the man to read his mind too and tell him when a small hand clasps his and the blonde blur is replaced by a coppery-red.

He can't say anything but he doesn't need to anymore, she's okay and that's all he needs to know. Kakashi squeezes her hand weakly with his numbed fingers; letting the lids he'd being struggling to keep open slide shut.

And the last thing he remembers before he slips into blissful unconsciousness is a pair of soft lips pressing a gentle kiss upon his forehead.