Criminal Insanity

Summary: A modern world where shinobi are sent to real high school. Normal society tries to ignore their existence, but find that they can't. AU, yaoi, Itachi/Gaara/Sasuke

Warning: Yaoi. Het. Possibly yuri. If you are offended by any of this... well, I'm sorry. It's what's in store.

Also, aside from the main pairing (Itachi/Gaara/Sasuke) which is set in stone, the pairings HAVE NOT BEEN DECIDED! If there's good ideas out there or something that a majority of people want... It might find it's way into the story!

Disclaimer: Alas, I do not own Naruto. If I did... Well, let's just say that SasuNaru would be more canon than it already is. Oh, and Uchihacest would totally be canon. And then it would be a romantical nightmare... let's just be glad I don't own Naruto. XD

Spellcheck of the Day: Sakura: Samurai

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Sasuke was late. Well, not late as in going-to-be penalized late. It was beneath his dignity as an Uchiha to ever do that. No, he was simply late by his own standards, which, while not as heinous a crime, was still irksome.

He shifted his bag on his shoulder, trying to ignore the fact that he was still eating his toast. Maybe if he looked like he didn't notice it, nobody else would either. Sasuke didn't like eating in front of people. Probably most of the school's population though he was anorexic.

The toast was gone by the time he'd reached his locker, the early hour protecting him from any more scrutiny than a few disinterested upperclassmen. He twiddled the combination to his locker and opened it with a sharp jerk. His books half-fell out of the bottom of the locker- Sasuke stopped the avalanche with his foot and shoved it back in.

He grabbed the books he needed and rooted through the mess of papers and notebooks that was shoved pell-mell around and above the textbooks until he found the right ones, slotting them all into his messenger bag neatly. Anyone looking into the two receptacles would never believe they belonged to the same person.

Contrary to image, though, Sasuke hated organization. His room was a complete mess of unmade bed, sheets pooled on the floor after being stripped off the bed and ignored, pillows half-under the bed, and don't even get started on the clothes tossed over the floor and papers underfoot. It was the nightmare of his parents that a visitor should happen in there.

He sat in the back of his classroom, dropping his bag alongside his chair and leaning on his elbows on the desk. Now if only he had been here at his usual time, he could catch an extra five to ten minutes of sleep, just like this, before anyone else got in. He was tempted to, anyway, but then there were the usual squeals of "Sasuke-kuuun!" from the door, and Sakura and Ino were clawing for the chance to be first through the door.

Sasuke envisioned duct tape. Preferably on their mouths and tying their hands behind their backs so they couldn't cling onto his arms like the little leeches they were and couldn't shriek at him for all eternity as they seemed set on doing.

If he was anyone else, Sasuke would have let his head thump to the desk in exasperation. He couldn't deal with this, not without his morning sleep time to compose himself. Unfortunately, he wasn't anyone else. Damn Uchiha pride.

"Ohayou, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura chirped, slipping into the seat next to him. Ino gave her a glare, which seamlessly slid into a bright, alluring expression for Sasuke. Creepy. She sat on the desk on the side opposite Sakura.

These two really needed to get a life. Ugh. Imagine coming early just in order to monopolize his time. Sasuke wished to god that the homeroom teacher would actually get annoyed enough one of these days to give them assigned seats, but no. Iruka-sensei seemed to have endless patience. Sasuke had heard a rumor (more like overheard Naruto talking to Kiba about it- the blonde was so loud!) of something involving preschool children.

The usual five minutes of torture with only the two girls chattering to him (he didn't see why- ultimately they were just chattering over him and talking to each other) passed by with no greater event than the beginnings of Sasuke's morning headache. Then, finally, other people began to pour into the school, their chatter and footsteps echoing through the halls as the buses arrived and people made it from the trains.

Thank god, Sakura and Ino were distractable, though the distraction formed in the way of a group of more twittering, fluttering girls, with one or two of the buff, dumb, un'trained jocks that those who had given up on their chances with Sasuke favored. Sakura and Ino still apparently thought they had a chance, though, possibly because they were the most truthful or persistent, but probably because they were 'trained.

Iruka-sensei arrived looking a bit flustered, probably at having arrived after the majority of his students. Sasuke tried to block out the girls now somehow, in their mysterious feminine way, both ignoring him and all focusing their conversation at him at once.

Shikamaru dragged in just before the bell, followed by Naruto, who nearly crashed into a desk at a dead run, his uniform jacket half-on and his backpack being dragged unzipped behind him.

"Ha!! Not late! Not late!" Naruto cheered, doing a little circular dance before somehow hoisting his open backpack onto the desk without losing any of the crumpled books, papers, and who knew what was stuffed in there. Unlike Sasuke, Naruto didn't bother to make even those things on his person look good.

"Yes, we're all very proud of you, Naruto." Iruka sighed. "Now if you'd please get your uniform on properly and take a seat, we can begin."

"Hai, Iruka-sensei!"

Iruka began calling attendance, though it wasn't really necessary, since he knew where everybody sat and could just as easily take it without calling it. Sasuke hated how it drew attention to every absent. But then, Sasuke hated a lot of things- he just put up with them anyway.

Iruka-sensei left after homeroom, leaving them with probably twenty minutes before Kakashi-sensei actually arrived. About half the class swarmed out into the halls for the five-minute passing period, to talk to their friends from other classes.

A slim, dark-haired boy appeared at the door, prompting a shout of "Haku!!" from Naruto. Haku smiled at the blonde, making his way over with ethereal grace to Sasuke's desk with Naruto trailing behind. He sat on Sasuke's desk (the one thing none of the females had dared to do yet, but Haku was different, no matter how much like a girl he looked. He was much less annoying, for one) and twisted around to face both the Uchiha and Naruto, who was sitting on Sakura's vacated desk.

"So." Haku started.

"You finally decided to let on that you're 'trained and come be in A class with us?"

"...no." Haku, for some reason, was very shy when it came to being 'trained. Something to do with having a Skill and prejudice where he'd grown up. "Even better!" He perked up again. "There's a new guy in my class- kind of creepy, reminds me of Zabuza just a bit."

"How so?" from Naruto.

Haku waved a hand lazily. "Oh, you know. Neither of them really have eyebrows. Similarities end there, though."

"So why is he remarkable enough that you had to come over here to tell us about it?" Sasuke asked. He hated people dancing around the point- Haku only got away with it because he did it on purpose to piss Sasuke off.

"Oh, well, I'm fairly sure he's 'trained, so he'll be transferred in here soon enough." Haku hopped off the desk and brushed his uniform back into order. "See you at lunch!" He waved and took off back to his classroom.

A new 'trained... Now that was interesting. All the families who 'trained int eh Fire country lived in Konoha City. So, like Haku, for him to be new... foreign-born. Foreign-'trained always had the most interesting moves.

"What you smiling about, teme?"

Sasuke gave him an affronted look. He did not smile. He smirked. Evilly. Damn Naruto. "Why do you care?" he shot back.

Naruto didn't get to answer, because then Sakura was there, shrieking, "What the hell do you think you're doing on my desk?!"

Really, that was so much better. Her screaming at Naruto he could half-tolerate; her simpering at him just made him want to throw up.

Kakashi appeared in front of the teacher's desk with a poof of smoke. Stupid show off third-level 'trained. A lot of the teachers for their class were 'trained, since otherwise it was unfair to expect them to try to keep track of all the 'trained students, mostly first or second-level, but still tough to keep under control (especially with students like Naruto and Kiba- rambunctious to the extreme).

Sasuke thought it made no sense to integrate this class. It meant that they had to follow normal curriculum, instead of what might be more useful to the 'trained people. It wasn't like anyone with good 'training was going to actually become an English professor or anything, was it? Even Kakashi was actually a mercenary with police ties- he just helped out... well, nobody knew why he helped out. Sasuke suspected that the extra money was probably a good bet.

By lunchtime, Sasuke was nearly ready to strangle Sakura and Ino. He hadn't known that missing a mere ten minutes of sleep could make such a difference, but usually he could just ignore them, a task that seemed currently impossible. A throbbing headache rose every time they started talking.

Lunch. Naruto bounced over with his messy homemade bento box, Kiba following and laughing along with the blonde at some joke he was cracking. Sakura wrinkled her nose at their arrival, but had long learned tot tolerate Naruto- he was far too stubborn to simply go away. Anyway, his and Sasuke's rivalry-friendship had been going on since they were 12 (or younger?) so it was far too late to interfere any more.

Half the twittering fangirls had departed. Sasuke didnt' particularly care where to or why; he was too busy being relieved that the noise level had been lowered accordingly. Well, that is, until Naruto arrived. And was currently arguing with Sakura.

"Idiot! Why don't you just go over there then and leave Sasuke-kun alone!"

"Who are you kidding?! Why don't you and Ino leave the poor teme alone and go make out with each other or something?"

"WHAT?" both girls screeched. The pain flashed behind his eyes.

"Hey, hey, Shikamaru said it first, not me!" Naruto protested. The chased him around the classroom anyway. The dobe ended up with his face pounded into the floor.

There was one thing Sasuke had learned from Naruto.

No matter how annoying they might be, do not underestimate girls.

They returned from beating Naruto looking smug and took their seats either side of Sasuke. Naruto followed them, wincing, and sat back down backwards in his seat to continue inhaling his bento. Kiba jabbed him in the side of the head with a finger and they bickered.

"Aren't you eating, Sasuke-kun?" Ino asked, all concern and innocence. "You can have some of my bento if you want." she suggested.

"No." Lord save him from fawning girls.

"Sasuke-teme never eats. He's anorexic. That's why he's so weak!" Naruto boasted. Another catfight ensued. Sasuke reflected that Naruto really should stop pissing off the fangirls. He'd never get rid of them that way.

The little pod of un'trained girls who had run off during lunchtime returned, conversing at an even faster pace than they had been before. One of them was half-holding another up.

"Mei!" Sakura and Ino rushed over to the crowd, practically interrogating them. Sasuke ignored it. He vaguely wondered, now that he had enough respite from the noise for the headache to recede, where Haku was. He usually came over to eat lunch with them- he had even said he'd meet them here.

Naruto was apparently thinking along the same lines, because he immediately headed over to class 1-B as soon as they got out of science lab at the end of the day. Sasuke followed him more out of curiosity and an excuse to get out of Orochimaru's class quickly than any real desire to follow Naruto.

"Hakuuuu!" Naruto yelled as he bounce through the door. Haku looked up and smiled- the redhead beside him looked up-

His eyes were cold, spoke of death and some unspeakable reason oh gods why- like his. Like Itachi's, especially right before he'd left, right after he'd gotten the mangekyo sharingan and-

Sasuke masked his shock as fast as he could, bit down on the scream in his throat. Both Haku and redhead had noticed, though.

Redhead stood, gathering his bag onto his back. It looked heavy, full. Not like books, either. He brushed past Sasuke and Naruto, not touching them, as if they weren't there. An angry red scar on his forehead formed the kanji 'love.'

"What was that?" Naruto exploded as soon as the door swung closed.

"What? You mean Gaara?" Trust Haku not to be bothered with even something as creepy as that. After all, Zabuza, that guy Haku lived with, wasn't exactly on the right side of the law. A more shady version of the mercenary version of 'trained.

"Yeah! What was up with him?! And why weren't you at lunch today?"

"Umn... well, I was a bit worried about leaving Gaara alone, actually. If I'm not mistaken, it was Sasuke's fangirls who came and visited during lunch-" (Sasuke twitched) "And there was a rather direct death threat, so I thought I'd just stick around, since our teacher isn't 'trained and all..."

"Death threat? Teme gives those out all the time."

""Mm-hm." Haku examined a bit of his hair as he finger-combed it. "There was a lot more intent behind it that Sasuke usually gives. Well, he'll probably be transferred soon, so you'll be able to see for yourself."

"What? No, that guy's creepy!" Naruto yelped. "You keep him, Haku!"

Haku slid out of the desk, grabbing his books. "No can-do, Naruto-kun. He's not even bothering to hide that he's 'trained. You'll have him by Friday."

"I'm gonna die!" Naruto sobbed, rather dramatic for someone who had brushed off a death threat as something Sasuke gave out all the time.

"There there." Haku said sympathetically, patting Naruto's blonde spikes. "Got to go. Zabuza-sama will be waiting on me." He breezed out the door.

"Aw, man! No way! Ha-kuu!" Naruto ran after the dark-haired boy. Sasuke made out a "See ya, teme!" echoing from outside the door. He rolled his eyes and went out himself, intent simply on getting to his locker and getting home. No more girls, no more redheads.

His locker jammed when he tried to open it. Sasuke considered simply undoing the hinges and being done with it, but that just went to show what a Monday with a headache could do to you. He slapped it openhanded and tried again; it popped open smoothly. Stupid piece of locker junk... Sasuke absently stopped the avalanche with his foot again, tossing his unneeded books in and extricating one he'd need for homework.

"Messy as always, otouto."

Almost instantly, Sasuke had slammed the locker door and whirled around on pure instinct. Itachi was less than four feet away, eyes cold and detached but still amused. No. No no no no no, he didn't want to deal with two in one day.

"What are you doing here?"

"Mm? Wouldn't you like to know."

Damn him. What reason would Itach have for coming to the high school? He was 22 to Sasuke's 15; he attended college now, didn't he? Sasuk didn't really keep track- Itachi had left the family at 16, leaving a 9-year-old Sasuke confused and quite, quite alone in the nefarious grasp of the Uchiha's. He hadn't realized why Itachi would want to leave until after he'd left.

Itachi's hand was at his neck, on his face (oh god you're going to die. No, not by this bastard, I'll kill him first- he left me).

"You aren't well, otouto. Go home."

And Itachi was gone. Just like that. Sasuke couldn't find any trace of him having been there, other than the touch burning on his skin. Helpless. He had been powerless before Itachi.

Sasuke went home in a muddled rage, nearly dizzy from the confusion and whirling headache. He bypassed the house entirely, pulled out the shuriken lining his bag, and proceeded to decimate the training dummies lining the yard. Each one had Itachi's face.

He didn't realize the time that had passed until it was nearly nine, his father was home, and his sweat was cold on his skin. He felt vaguely uncomfortable, cold on the outside and too warm on the inside, and his headache returned to pulse through his skull with each heartbeat.

Meaningless.

o.O.o.0.o.O.o.0.o.O.o

A/N: ... Heh. High school AU. I'm gonna have far too much fun with this one. It's kind of a conglomeration of a bunch of roleplays I've done with my sister, so I'll just do my best to make it hang together. (feed me pairings)