Here it is, guys… Kinda a day later than I promised (like 40 something minutes late), but I had a busier day Friday than I intended…
So yes… this is the ending. I really can't believe it.
But instead of going on and on with an author's note, I'm just going to let you read it.
WITH ONE LAST NOTE – The "thunderbox" thing in the last chapter is not true. I just remember back in seventh grade someone told me that, so maybe I should've done my research… uh, yeah. Sorry about that!
But yeah, with that out of the way, I now present you to the final chapter of Dear Stupid… and the first part... not told in diary form, so, just getting that out there.
Disclaimer: Yes. No. Maybe so? NO.
DEAR STUPID
Chapter Twenty-Two: Finally
I took a deep breath and jammed my notebook into my zip-up hoody. There was no way on God's green earth, universe, Milky Way, Snickers bar, Skittles, etc. that anyone is EVER going to read the things I wrote about in there. Nooo way, Jose. And that also goes for anyone NOT named Jose. You could be named Muhammad or Chubaka or Spongebob Squarepants, you ain't reading it.
I didn't want to go downstairs. Truly, I didn't. But sometimes my stomach overrules just about any good judgment I have left in me. Like, one time Lilly told me that I needed to be quiet or else Miley would hear us. But that really didn't happen because someone just happened to be eating a yummy wonderful steak at the restaurant we were at, and my stomach was all, "GRRRRUMBLEEEEE FEEED ME!" in Stomachian, so we were caught by Miley and her boyfriend of the time, Howard.
Howard. More like How-would you name someone that?
But that story is about centuries old, so let's move on to the present…
When I made it downstairs, everything I saw was not what I expected.
Well, okay, that's pretty much a lie. I expected that there'd be a crowd of drunken people anxiously watching a big screen, plasma TV with their bottles and glasses held high. I imagined everyone to be singing, but not all the girls to be all, "If you wanna be my LOVER!" at the top of their lungs.
And Jackson with his arm wrapped around Lilly, who looked so ridiculously happy that it almost made me forget how unhappy I felt. Almost.
But one thing that wasn't right… Jerk Rat wasn't with Miley. He was standing closest to the TV, smiling… but Miley wasn't at his side. In fact, I didn't see her anywhere. And that… that worried me. A lot. A drunk Miley running around unsupervised? Yeah, that didn't lead to anything good in my head. Well… the removal of clothing comes to mind, which might be sort of good, along with some dancing, but let's not go there when she could be in danger. FOCUS, OLIVER, FOCUS!!
Oh crap, Lilly's suddenly spotted me.
"OLIVERRRRRRRRR!" she calls excitedly, waving spastically with her free hand that was not attached to one of Jackson's.
I give a small, cautious wave and walk slowly towards her.
She envelops me in a bone-crushing hug. AHHHHHHH. EWWWWWWW. Drunken Lilly is too affectionate for my taste. I silently pray to Jesus that Jackson wouldn't get oddly jealous and hurt me or anything because um, Lilly and I hugging is not normal despite the prior events of my life, and I definitely didn't want her arms around me.
"Lilly, what are you doing?" I squeal, and then remember the alcohol she had consumed previously.
She laughs and snorts, then laughs more at the snort, and lets go of me, finally, thank God and Bruce Almighty.
"Just thanking you properly."
I raise an eyebrow. "For what?"
She snuggles back into Jackson, who grins pathetically at the gesture. Just get a room, really.
"For getting me and this lover-ly gentleman together," she replies sincerely.
Lovely, er, "loverly" as Lilly said, gentleman? Jackson? HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh well, whatever makes her happy…
HAHAHHAHAHAA.
Oh man. That is something.
But still, seeing them so incredibly ecstatic to be together… it almost killed me. In two different ways. One, killed me with happiness. I'd never really seen Lilly so happy before, and seeing the guy she was with just as happy, it was… incredible. I also felt… killed with jealousy. I wanted what Lilly had. Er, no, not a boyfriend, but someone that liked me as much as I liked them…
Miley…
Oh, shit. MILEY.
"Er, yeah, you're welcome, but um, where's Miley?" I ask frantically.
Lilly looks at me oddly. "She said she went to go find you for the countdown or soooooooomething. HEHEHEHHEE." She has a freaky drunk giggle. "Dincha talk to her?"
Dincha. Really exactly what it sounded like.
But yeah, so my heart starts beating really, really, really fast. What the HELL was she talking about?!
"What, what? No she didn't!"
Jackson laughs.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT, SHE'S YOUR SISTER, AND SHE'S MISSING, NOT TO MENTION DRUNK OFF HER ASS, I wanted to scream at the buffoon. Alcohol plus lovesickness is not a good effect on him! Oh, what am I saying? If I were dating Lilly, I'd go mentally and clinically insane.
Wait. I did date Lilly.
And I am insane.
Well, that's a pretty cool realization. I can just blame Lilly for everything.
"Well, she should've," Jackson says, interrupting me of my thoughts. "That's what she told us. By the way, she didn't seem too concerned with the idea of me and Lills here dating," he smiles wider and gives Lilly a squeeze. SERIOUSLY. ROOM, PLEASE. NOW. "She said we were sorta cute. But told Lilly to stay away from my cottage cheese and bacon breakfast, which is actually good if you give it a cha—"
"JACKSON!" I interject and grab him by the front of the shirt. Miley has taught me well… ack, MILEY! "WHERE. IS. MILEY!"
He squeaks very unmanly-like. "I don't know. Put me down!"
"What do you mean you don't know?! She could be anywhere! ANYWHERE! She could've made it to Mount Kill-a-man-jaro by now!! " I shout, and Jackson yelps. "Do you know what they do there? Just listen to its name! Kill-a-man-jaro! She's your sister for crying out loud, and she's drunk!"
"Miley's not a man."
OH REALLY, JACKSON? I DIDN'T NOTICE. THANKS FOR TELLING ME THAT HER BOOBS ARE, IN FACT, REAL.
"And don't you meanKilimanjaro?" he questions, and I yell in frustration into his face so he starts squirming and squeaking again.
Lilly thinks for a moment, seemingly not too concerned at the fact that I'm about seconds away from killing her boyfriend.
"I did see her go outside I think. Maybe she is at Mount Kilimanjaro…"
I drop Jackson, who yelps yet again, and just run to the door. I don't care that there's five minutes left until midnight. All I care about is the fact that no one seems to be bothered by the idea that Miley could be lost and alone, and drunk, and lost, and alone, plus drunk, plus, alone, with terrible things happening to her…. Then again, everyone is drunk apparently besides me, so I'm guessing being drunk doesn't give you a sense of danger or whatever. Or a sense of intelligence…
I walk around the house, er, mansion, and that's when I see her.
She's twirling. Like, spinning like she's a ballerina in a jewelry box. And she's laughing. Oh yeah, she was doing all this in the MIDDLE OF THE STREET. A crazy woman, that Miley is.
I stride up to her, my heart's rapid beating slows a bit knowing that she is safe… I think. I don't think ballerinas could ever be evil… unless Jerk Rat was one… hahahaha, imagining him in a tutu… God, that'd make a number one Youtube hit.
"Whee!" she's giggling as she spins, and I reach out and take her into my arms, which proves to be a horrible move because her arm smacks into me wildly, and we end up rolling down onto the pavement.
"Liver?" she questions when we stopped and were just lying there next to each other. So, she's still drunk and I am still liver. Awesome.
Her puzzled expression disappears. "LIVER!" and then she throws her arms around me.
I blush and hug her back awkwardly since it's hard to do so with the way we're positioned. I'm also reminding myself of her intoxicated state. She doesn't REALLY want to hug me this way…
"Um, Miley, let's get you back inside. You're gonna miss the countdown."
She recoils from me (wahhhhh) and starts rolling down the pavement like a bundle of hay. Er, does that even make sense? Oh yeah… barrel of hay. There, that sounds better.
"No!" Miley says, now sitting up straight, and hugging her knees, pouting like a three-year-old.
"Why no?" I ask, crawling over to her.
"Because… because… Jake," she lets out, and before I know what's happening, she starts crying waterfalls again.
I guess it's okay because Jerk Rat really makes me want to cry, too, sometimes. I mean, have you seen his face? It's emotionally scarring… pahahhaa.
But anyways, my eyes still bulge, and I hesitate to put my arms around her. She kinda looks like she just wants to be left alone.
"What'd Jake do?" It's weird actually saying "Jake". I really want to call him The Biggest Asshole of a Rat I've Ever Seen, but Miley would probably yell at me for cussing or something.
"He… he won't stop touching me."
Really couldn't blame the guy, it's Miley for Pete's sake (drool), but she obviously sounds like she wants her space.
"And, and, I wanted to come find you," she continues, sobbing into her thighs. "I didn't want you to miss out on the New Year. You're my best friend, Liver. My best friend, Liver," she, for some reason, repeated that. "Jake wouldn't lemme go. He yelled at me. Yelled and yelled and yelled and yelled and yelled—"
"Shhh, no, no," I say, placing a nervous arm around her shaking shoulders. "It's okay."
"—and YELLED AND YELLED AND YELLED AND YELLED—"
"Miley—"
She takes a deep breath. "AND YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLED!"
I cover my ears on reflex. Well, at least everybody in, oh, I don't know, THE WORLD would be awake now. After recovering, I slide my arm back around her.
"Miles, it's okay, shhh, just calm down—"
"No it's not! He broke up with me! This is the worst last day of the year ever!"
Broke. Up. With. Her.
Angels are singing.
Worst Day of the Year? What? Was she serious?
Beautiful chords.
Beautiful everything.
The beautiful girl I'm holding in my arms… she's single now. SINGLE. AND… well, not ready to mingle, YET…
But for some reason, I'm not even that happy. The eff? I'm, like… devastated or something. Because Miles is crying. She's crying over some guy who has never once deserved anything she's given him, and he doesn't even deserve a single of the tears she is displaying. I want to jack him in the face… again.
And run away like a chicken. Again.
"How—How can he break up with you?" I whisper angrily.
"Because I'm stupid, Liver! He doesn't like that I like you."
I froze.
"L-L-Like me?" I repeat into her hair… which still smelt strongly of strawberries.
"Mhm," she nods quickly. "I like you. You're my best friend, Liver. My best friend, Liver." There she went with the repeating thing again…
My heart feels torn. Her best friend… Always the best friend.
"I like you, too, Miles," I tell her, a sickeningly sad feeling growing in the pit of my stomach. "You're not stupid either. I just… I can't grasp how he'd break up with you. There's no way I could see any logic as to why he would. He had the world, and he just… threw it away!?"
She sniffles. "What? The world? Liver, I'm not the world."
I hadn't even realized I'd said that until she pointed out. I felt my face burn up.
"The Earth is the world. Or… is it Mars? Gahhh, my head hurts, Liver. I can't think wrong. I mean right. Left?"
Well, someone's a bit baffled. What do you even say to that?
"Er… do you just wanna get back inside?"
She stuffs her head into my chest. I smile on the inside, but not on the outside because… well, she doesn't like me like that… I was sure now… painfully sure…
"Jake's in there," she murmurs.
"Who gives a shit about that loser," I say, not realizing I'm thinking out loud again. "I mean—oh, sorry, Miles, I didn't mean to—"
"No, it's 'kay. I'll go back inside. I haves an idea."
"An idea?"
She wipes a tear from her eye and smiles. A real, genuine smile. So pretty. Gahhh. "Yep yep yep." She sounds just like Ducky from the Land Before Time.
"Okay… then here," I stand up, extending my arms out for her to latch onto so she could also steady herself while she got to her feet.
"Thanks, Liver. You make me happy."
I smile slightly. God… she knew how to freaking torture an idiot.
I walk back into the mansion with Miley on my arm. Well, that doesn't sound quite right, because what she was really doing, was like… owning my arm. Like, she had her own arms latched onto my arm like letting go was death. Who knows, maybe when you're intoxicated, walking is about as scary as jumping off a cliff… or my mom's Man Voice.
Miley really would fail the "Walk the Straight Line Test", too. Holy shit. It was like maneuvering confetti. She was EVERYWHERE but where she needed to take a step.
I didn't mind, though. She smelt nice, despite the alchy on her breath.
We walk inside, and Lilly runs over to us. Okay, like hobbled like she had one leg or something because she wasn't totally sober yet.
"Guys, guys, guuuuuys! AND GIRL! MILEY, YOU'RE A GIRL!"
Yeah, definitely not sober.
"New Year… one minute!" she says excitedly. Jackson comes up behind her, looking all-peaceful and stuff. He is so weirdly serious when he's drinking. It's like… not him.
The TV is now showing the ball drop. Hehe, ball drop… Balls drop… God, I am immature.
Miley starts bouncing up and down with my arm. I had lost feeling in it a while ago, so this doesn't bother me. Not like it would even if I would've had feeling…
Lilly eyes this movement curiously. I roll my eyes. I know what she's thinking.
"Oh, are you guys finally dating?" SHE ASKS OUT OF THE EFFING BLUE.
TO MILEY.
WITH THE WORD "FINALLY". AS IN LIKE, SOMEONE HAD BEEN WAITING FOR IT TO HAPPEN. FINALLY.
Miley appears startled. "I'm single."
Lilly gives her another baffled look, then over to Jerk Rat, who is already flirting it up hardcore with a stupid girl named… Ashley Dewitt.
Miley waves a hand as if to say, "I'll explain later," before latching it back onto me. Oh yay. Fingernail grippage. Not that I really mind… Miley's about the only girl who I'd allow to dig her manicured nails into me like this.
"20 SECONDS LEFT!! YAHOOOOO!" Lilly is screaming, and together, she and Miley are bouncing up and down like Tigger on crack.
Or some other, odd drug I want nothing to do with.
Jackson and I roll our eyes. XX Chromosomes. (Yeah, I pay attention in science! Suck on THAT!)
"COUNTDOWN TIME!" Lilly and Miley chorus together.
"10!"
Oh no.
"9!"
OH EFF NO.
"8!"
This is gonna make me want to—
"7!"
Kiss Miley.
"6!"
She doesn't like me like that, though!
"5!"
Shit!!
"4!"
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.
"3!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
"2!"
BULLSHIT—
"1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
And suddenly, girls and boys are flying at each other's lips and bodies, and everyone was all makey-outty… except… me. And… Miley.
Even Jerk Rat is kissing someone. ALREADY.
WHAT A SLUT!
Miley is watching Lilly and Jackson make out with wide eyes. Probably something she would rather not see, but who knows if she'd remember this in the morning.
I am… watching Miley. Pathetic. Really.
"Happy New Years, Miles," I say shyly.
She turns to me then, which, not to brag, but I think I am a lot more interesting to look at than the… awkward exchanging of spit beside us. And this look in her eyes and smile like, tells me she totally agrees.
"Happy New Years to you, too, Oliver."
I gasp. "You remembered my name!"
I'm happy to hear a giggle from her mouth. God. It's like… a bell. It's better than a dinner bell. Seriously, too! That's how much I freaking adore this girl.
"Weeeeeeeeelll, DUH! Why wouldn't I?" says the drunken part of her, and then she suddenly spreads her arms wide. "Gimme a hug already!"
She doesn't need to tell me twice. I scoop her up into my arms, and she laughs as I hold her against me. She is wonderful this close… just… so close…
I let go.
And so far away.
She blinks innocently. "Oliver?"
"Er, Miley?"
"About Lexi."
OH, SHIIIIIIIITTTTTTT!!
"Am I…"
SHE KNOWS! SHE KNOWS! SHE'S GONNA ASK IF IT'S HER!
"…prettier than her?"
OH GOD ALMIGHTY THE APOCOLYPSE IS HERE, SHE KNOWS—wait, what?
"What?" I speak aloud.
"Prettier than her. I wanna know. Ssssseriously."
Drunken Mile speaks, er, slurs again.
I don't know how to answer this question. How could I say no? How could I say yes? SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT HERSELF. There is no way to lie! Or tell the truth!
So, me being the always Einstein human being that I am, I'm like, "You're prettier than anyone."
AHHHHHHHHHH.
THAT IS LIKE… SCREAMING MY FEELINGS PRACTICALLY!
And no, I'm not talking about the "AHHHHHHH."
Miley is overcome with emotion. She springs onto me and kisses me passionately.
Yeah effing right.
She's like, "Oh really?"
All un-interested and what not.
My life sucks. I want to die. That stupid were-weiner dog should've taken me while he had the chance.
I go, "Yeah."
God shoot me. Except… God wouldn't do that. He's a nice person… supposedly… but sometimes, the way he makes my life happen, I gotta wonder if he's making bets with Satan, aka my mom's ex love interest.
"Oliver… I haves a question thingy."
A question thingy. Oh, this can't be good.
"Can I kiss you?"
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!
DFLKFJKJSHDFKJDHKSDHFKSFDD
I CAN'T THINK, EXCUSE ME WHILE MY BRAIN TRIES TO RELOAD.
RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES AND UNICORNS AND POPTARTS YUMMY AND RAVIOLI AND PIZZA ROLLS RANCH MILEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY KISSAAAAGEEEEE
BRAIN RELOADED.
Mouth function ON.
"Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y—"
Ten million centuries later:
"You wanna kiss me?"
Miley smiles. "Uh HUH! Please?"
PLEASE?! PLEASE?! LIKE IT WAS A HARD DECISION!
Oh… Shit.
I just realized something. She's… drunk.
Oh, screw my life on a bench sideways in a park. She's drunk and wants to kiss me. Of course.
"Miley, you don't really wanna kiss me," I say, though she has taken a step closer to me, and I'm about to die with this little heat exchange radiating off her… or my… or OUR bodies…. In the words of Lilly, EEEEEEEP.
"But you wanna kiss me, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight?" and she effing winks at me.
OH EFF YES I DO, YOU BEAUTIFUL CREATURE, YOU.
BUT HOW THE EFF DO YOU KNOW THAT??
"Miley, y-y-you're drunk."
"Avoidance of the question," she says seductively and starts backing me up against a wall. Oh, shit. OH SHIT. I never thought I'd be RUNNING AWAY from Miley kissage, but Holy Hell.
"Miles, you're—"
And that's when it happens.
Finally.
Miley attacks me with her lips.
DFKJDLKJDLFJLFJDUFJHDFASJJ7864584585547365
... That's precisely what's going through my head at the moment.
Her lips are freaking on mine. MOVING ON MINE. Like, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I can't control myself. I've waited too freaking long, so I kiss her back like, Eager McBeaver or something. And it feels… amazing. Like, I'm probably scaring the poor girl half to death because I just suddenly am holding her fiercely against me, and we're just like, making out hardcore-like and all.
MAKING OUT. M-A-K-I-N-G O-U-T. I CAN SPELL.
I AM MAKING OUT WITH MILEY STEWART.
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLZ YES.
I don't know how long we've been… oh my God, hold on, I'm just not going to think while I'm doing this for a little bit.
………………
………………
………………
...
...mmm...
...
...
"PARTY'S OVER!!"
Wait, what? Why does that voice sound so familiar…?
"COPS!!"
Cops?! WHAT?!
I push Miley off of me (never thought I'd do that, EVER), and look to the door.
And.
My.
Mom.
Is.
Standing.
There.
Holy.
SHIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT.
I don't think really, just pray to God she hasn't seen me yet, and take Miley's hand and just run like the freaking wind out towards the backdoor. We had to get home. NOW.
Oh, shit. Miley's just tripped and landed in the grass.
She's giggling.
Oh, good God.
"Olllllliverrrr, slow down!"
I rush to help her back up, when I see people running towards us. Oh, shit shit shit shit, it might be the cops! Gripping Miley's hand, I dive us behind a bush.
"MILEY! WE CAN'T GET CAUGHT!"
"Oliverrrr, we won't behind a bush, silllyyy," and she leans in and kisses me like that's what I meant.
Automatically, however, I rush back into the kiss, my hands on her face and everything, before I let go.
I am never going to get used to that.
"Miley, as much as I would love to keep doing that, the cops are here," I say, out of breath. "My MOM is here. I will be dead meat."
I look into her eyes seriously, and she smiles.
"But'chore not drunk!"
I sigh. "But you are, Miley."
She gasps. "How could you say that, I'm completely sober! One hundred and fiiiiiiiiiiifty eight hundred percent!"
I raise my eyebrows and look at her with a disbelieving expressions, and she appears guilty and holds up a hand.
"Okay, maybe I'm drunk… but only a teeeensy little bit," and she gestures with her thumb and index finger.
"Great, glad you can admit it, but we HAVE TO RUN!"
Once again, I grab her hand, and we take off running. I see Miley's purple car in the front of us… and oh good grief, Miley is heading for the driver's side.
"NO, Miley—"
"But I wanna drive!"
"MILEY!"
"Oh yeah, I'm drunk. I CALL SHOTGUN!"
I almost want to laugh at her, but I get into the car anyways, and Miley does, too, and she hands over the keys. I highly doubt Lilly would give hers to me this quickly and—
Oh, SHIT!!
WHERE ARE LILLY AND JACKSON?!
For once in my life, God like, answers my prayers because like magic, they appear in front of my headlights, looking like frightened mice (don't ask, it sounds good to me) and have no idea where to go.
"GUYS!" I call out the window loudly. "GET IN!"
They squint their eyes before reorganization and the small intelligence they have at the time takes over their brain, and they hop into the back seats. I don't even let a second go by as we finally high-tail it and drive away from the place. Whew… that was close.
"Thanks, Ollllllllliepop!" Lilly sings happily from the backseat.
"Lilly, if you ever call me that again, I'm going to slit your throat."
She was quiet the entire rest of the way home.
I got Lilly home safe and sound, though it was hard to get Jackson to stop kissing her so she could get inside. Like, really, I don't need to see any more of that. I had enough at the party. Ugh.
Miley was taking this whole "best friend dates her brother" thing quite well. She only gagged three times when they were making out on Lilly's doorstep. I would've bet on thirty.
The way to Miley's after that was awkward.
I was realizing exactly what had happened between us.
We… kissed.
Holy shit. WE KISSED. MADE OUT. OMFGGGGGGGGGG.
Would she even KNOW in the morning? What did this make us? Was everything going to be awkward tomorrow?! Er, today?
With Jackson in the backseat, I couldn't even ask anything about it to Miley. I may not have a little sister (but I do have a little brother demon thing I'm planning to sell on ebay), but I don't think I would wanna hear about her kissing anyone…
When we get to Miley's, Jackson runs inside the house like I've never seen a drunken person run. Kinda funny really. Hehehe. Miley is slow, however, and not moving from her seat in the car, and fumbling with her clothes. Oh, here it comes. The whole, "It was only the moment! Let's just be friends!" speech.
"Oliver," she says and looks at me all bashful and stuff.
God. She is ADORABLE. And I have KISSED THOSE LIPS—SCOOOOORE.
"I know I'm drunk. I'm sowwy I am, too."
Like I could be mad at the girl!
"It's okay, Miles. Even I felt tempted at the party. There was alcohol everywhere."
She giggles, and I smile. I'm feeling pretty good right about now. Maybe this won't be the horrible conversation I'm anticipating…
"Well, I may be drunk, but you know…" she looks away. "I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing."
I'm ultra confused. "About what?"
"You, silly. I… I like you. I'm pretty sure I do."
OMFGGGGGGGG.
"I… don't know. I didn't want Lilly Willy Milly Billy—"
"Tilly," I add for her, and she smiles.
"—to have you. It made me… jealoussssssss. So, um, I know, by the way."
"Know what?"
"That you love me. She told me. I've known since Sunday morniiiing. Tehehehe, you're also funny in your little diary thingamajig, you know."
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
"YOU READ STUPID?!"
She laughs again. "A little bit. You're funny, Oliverrr. So, so, so, funny." And then she, out of nowhere, leapt on top of me and kisses my face. Not my lips. MY FACE.
Because I'm not sure what's going on at the moment, I grab her shoulders and drag her to a position where our faces are level.
"What exactly did you read?!" I ask.
Another giggle. "I dunnn 'member. But you love me."
I bite my lip. "Is… that okay?"
"Yep yep yep." Ducky the Dinosaur speaks again. But my God, is she looking more and more and more and more beautiful by the SECOND… I can't restrain myself any longer.
"Well, then, let's try this again…"
I lean down and place my lips on hers; loving the feeling I get when she wraps her arms around my shoulders and kisses me back. I can't even believe it's happening. I really, really, super, to the eleventh degree, can't.
"I gotta go, Oliver."
She had suddenly drawn back. And I was suddenly… whiney.
"Nooooooooooo!" I sound like the drunk one now, but I don't care. I pull her back towards me. I finally get what I want, and she just wants me to STOP? OHHHH no. But that so would be my life's luck.
"Stay!" I command.
"You gotsta go home, too, Oliver," she says anyways. It almost makes my heart break. Okay, so it does. Pathetic. "Yo' momma wasn't very happy."
"You're right… " I sigh. "Well, goodnight then?"
"Mhm. Happy New Year, Oliver."
She kisses me again, and I press back a little harder than I intend, and she pulls away, laughing some more. I frown.
"Bye, Oliver," she gets out of the car, and it's just so sad to me. "Call me in the morning?"
I chuckle a little. "Welllll, I have this feeling that you aren't gonna want to talk in the morning…"
She stares at me. "And why's that?"
"You'll be a weeeeee bit hungover?"
"Oh yeah. I keep forgetting I'm drunk, tehehehe."
I roll my eyes and get out of the car as well. She looks at me, horrified, for some reason.
"YOU CAN'T STAY HERE!" she shouts, her arms waving around in the air like a crazy, mental institute person.
"Um, I'm not going to," I say, amused. "I'm just walking home, Miles. This is your car, remember?"
"Oh yeah…"
"Night, Miles."
I start walking away, when I feel her arms tackle me around my waist. I fight off this huuuuuge ass grin… okay, no, I don't, it totally wins and takes over pretty much my entire face.
"Night, Oliver," Miley whispers and takes off running towards her house.
I watch after her, just to make sure she gets in safely, and just before she closes the door, she flashes me a smile, and darts inside.
I shove my hands into my pockets, giant smile clad on my face, and turn around.
The worst last day of the year ever?
Try Best.
Tuesday, January 1st, living room, 2:09 p.m.
Dear Stupid,
I'm still grounded.
And I'm ecstatic!!
Some kind of oxymoron or something, I know.
But I thought I'd just let you know that I finally, FINALLY, FINALLY have the girl. So all is well in the world.
But my mom seems to not know anything of the incident of last night. She cooked me pancakes, so, um, that's definitely not something she'd do if she knew where I was… Trolliver doesn't have a clue either. He's been just as satanic as usual, biting my elbow and whatnot, and stabbing me with forks.
But it doesn't matter because I am the happiest person in the planet.
I'll get to brag to Dr. Harms about this later, and it's going to feel awesome. I really can't wait.
But oh, shit.
I have basketball practice still.
Damnit! I don't even need to be on the TEAM anymore… I already got the girl. She's amazing by the way. Even though she was really grumpy this morning when I called her. She told me to go jump off a very tall cliff or building. She hadn't taken her Tylenol yet. TSK TSK… I love her.
Oh well. This thing called life is no longer messed up.
I can smile and mean it.
And Stupid, those twenty bucks my dad gave me?
Maybe, just MAYBE, I might get to use them… maybe.
Few minutes later.
Dear Stupid,
Mom just came in, holding my jeans from last night.
"How in the world did you get a hole there, Oliver?"
PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Life is just too, too funny.
…. It's over. I can't really believe it… Wow. I know this ending probably sucked, but I tried my best. I know some of you have still been pestering me about a sequel… and um, I'm not going to promise you one. I left it kinda open to a sequel, JUST IN CASE, but for now, I need to get away from this story because weirdly enough, it's kind of a relief to get it over with and everything.
Gah, but I am still very, very, very sad. It's definitely the most popular thing I've ever written, and now… it's complete. Heartbreaking…
I don't really know what else to say, but to review and tell me if you thought it was okay and everything. What was your favorite part from the entire story? Your favorite Oliver quote? Anything like that… and I PROMISE I'm going to respond to every review for this story I get for this chapter. So, review and make me happy, and I'll answer any questions. :)
So… um, bye? Gosh, this is sad. Just know that my new Moliver fic will be up sometime next week, and it's a chapter one. I doubt it'll do as well as DS, but I'll try and stay positive.
I love you guys! Thanks for making this story a great success! Moliver forever!
Love,
Broken Oken/Kaylee.