Disclaimers apply: this is fanfiction, I don't own Hellsing, or it's characters, etc.

"You have grown up very little, Master." His deepened voice seeped before her.

Integra sighed, her fingers tightening around the pen she held, ceasing from her extensive paperwork. Her throat pulsed while she swallowed the welling in her mouth, preparing for the frustration her servant would bring to her. He always had the wretched habit of interrupting her, she failed to admit the distraction was good to break up the hours of straight work. Her eyes still stared down at the document, awaiting her long signature. 'Integra Windgates Hellsing' A sigh.

"What do you mean, Alucard?" She asked, her chair creaking ever slightly while she pressed against it as her head lifted. A glance of her clock revealed it had already turned nine in the evening.

The vampire's sanguine eyes stared at her, unmoving as he approached her desk, placing his white gloved hands at the edge, leaning over. It was a shame she always leaned back in relaxation, he could never in stance put his face close to her's in a threatening manner. He grinned subtly.

"Master, this is what you have been doing since the day after we met. Sitting at this desk, signing that name, over and over, day after day. You have always been a woman, a bit more naive in your younger years, still, you may be like a child to me, you have always been a woman the same, Miss Hellsing."

"Do you have any point in saying this? It is my life, it was, it will be, Alucard, you know this."

"I have never served a woman." He replied, a slight tilt of his head and he continued. "You are nothing like the men, they are more child like, in many ways, always after excitement. I know you love the thrill of battle...and blood. You and I are-"

"Leave."

He always spoke of things most will never dare to say to her. She often realized the truth in his saying, though, none of it seemed to have any reason, point. Perhaps he enjoyed making her think about it all. Few times did he read her mind, he kept most of what was private to her the way it was. It were times like these where she felt Alucard was nearly as a father to her, and with that came an odd sense of discouragement. She had no time to think, no time to ration. She represented something far more than this. 'Integra Windgates Hellsing' she signed again, returning to those papers begging her attention.

"What is the point, Alucard? For being like the others, for not being what I am for this family and organization?" The cold sense of his presence never left her office, a smile appeared on her lips, knowing he had been watching.

"You are better than them." His voice crept. "I haven't asked you this in years, I will again. Do you still wonder what they live like? How they do it? What they feel?"

Her eyes lifted to find him bowed on one knee mere inches before her, looking back upward into her gaze. She dropped the pen carelessly, the cross of her legs tightening while she again leaned into the chair, now putting her forearms down on the padding, her hands wrapping at it's circular edges.

"You know I have, you know what happened when I became 18." She replied emotionlessly

He smiled. "You never talk of it, Master."

"Why should I? I asked you as a child of curiosity, I trusted you, I do trust you, still. I thanked you for it, I had what I wanted, and that was the end of it all." Her muscles appeared to tense.

"You try and tell me you never thought of it again, that you let your first kiss wash away as if it was nothing. I don't believe you. You addressed me with what your father called me, what you do now, for the first time, rather than "Monster" and you meant that, you wanted it to be from me, not some sniveling brat adolescent, not some young man finding himself or his way."

"I once wanted to know what whisky tasted like. I took my father's bottle, I took some of it into a glass and I tried the drink. I never touched it again." Her tone seemed to now become argumentative. They both knew she wanted this discussion, she were unsure herself of her decisions, and aftermath feelings.

"Me, I often wonder how you live as you do. How you put away all normal emotions and desires, you are sometimes more inhuman than myself, Master. You are better than them," His arm extended, hand facing the windows behind her, signaling to the people who lived average lives. "You are better and choose to seclude yourself from everything."

"That's exactly why, Alucard. I am unlike them because I life differently, I have bigger commitments, I have no time to be a child, to discover, and to be selfish. I am only human, I do all that I can for my duty. I know nothing else, I never have, I don't waste time daydreaming."

Seconds of silence began between them, as they looked at each others' eyes, seeking answers, pondering their responses to each other. He always enjoyed the times she would converse with him on deeper levels than their work. The temptation to read her thoughts rose within him, he had far too much respect to violate her mind, this was a time for her privacy, for her to say what she wanted to and no more.

"Walter, bring myself and Alucard a cup of tea each." she spoke, into the phone beside her, smirking at her servant, who gave her a wide grin.