A/N: This is just a short break for me. To those of you who read the 'Markham Chronicles,' and I thank you both, I'll be back later this month. The title is inspired by Luigi Pirandello's 'Six Characters in Search of an Author.' Now for the disclaimer" I do not own the Negima story, characters or universe. I do not own nor am I receieving product placement payments from the Cherokee Nation Casino. This is dedicated to all the contributors to the Train Station.
The air shimmered above the tarmac. Still technically Spring, the temperature had soared over 100۫ Fahrenheit. Coupled with a humidity of 92, the day was intolerable for mad dogs, although it was debatable for Englishmen.
A white limousine glided eastward over the four lane highway, cruising along at just under 70 miles per hour. A large billboard entreated travelers to visit the Cherokee Nation Casino at Tahlequah Oklahoma. It proudly proclaimed "We have the loosest slots in the state." A mile past the billboard, the car pulled over the shoulder and came to stop, just short of an intersection. The engine idled as the passenger door opened. Two girls slid out of the back compartment and stood on the asphalt.
Both girls wore identical uniforms, down to their black oxfords. They appeared to be only in their early teens, but both radiated an air of supreme self confidence. Otherwise, their appearance was dissimilar. The taller of the two had blonde hair and looks that would shame a super model. She moved with an effortless grace. As an admirer once remarked, watching her was like watching a symphony in motion. The shorter girl seemed almost plain in comparison. She had reddish-brown hair that was tied into two ponytails. Bells, attached to her hair, tinkled whenever she moved. She exuded a sense of strength much like a wave swelling before it crashed on the beach.
"Wait for us in town," the blonde girl told the driver. "I'll call you when we're ready."
After she shut the door, the car pulled back onto the highway and sped out of sight. The two girls proceeded south on the side road. The heat was stifling and they quickly removed their ties and school blazers.
"Why do we have to walk Ayaka," the shorter girl asked. "The limo was air conditioned."
"If we're seen, the limousine would be easy to trace," her companion replied. "How far do we have to go anyway Asuna?"
"According to map quest, we walk south for one mile and then take the first right turn," the girl called Asuna replied.
"How did Chisame ever find this place?" the blonde girl asked.
"She hacked into the website's records and tracked down the email information," Asuna told her. "She used her artifact to trace it to the delivery mail server and then retrieved the address."
'I understand she caused quite a backlog on their message server," she added. "It took them a few days to set it all to right."
"Amazing," the other girl commented. "I really have to get an artifact of my own."
She heard the sound of bells as Asuna shook her head. "No shotacon is going to do a lip lock with Negi while I'm around."
"That's rich coming from you," Ayaka retorted. "You were the first one to rush in and make a contract."
"He was in danger from Eva," she stammered as her face turned red. "I was only trying to help him."
Ayaka bit back her reply. To continue would only rouse her classmate's anger. And she'd rather Asuna directed her anger towards somebody else. "Chisame must want this guy badly too."
"Do you blame her," Asuna responded. "She's suffered as much as anyone."
"Are you going to be able to do this Asuna?"
Asuna looked shocked by the question. "After the way he humiliated us, you have to ask?"
"I'll do my part," the baka ranger insisted. "Just make sure you don't wimp out on me."
Ayaka didn't think of herself as a violent person, but she shared her classmate's desire for revenge. Some things could be ignored or laughed off, but this was different. This man had to be stopped before he could hurt anyone else.
The pair came to the first right turn. They saw a dirt road. Trees grew on either side and their branches spread out and intertwined, providing an inviting canopy to escape the hot sun. They stood underneath and savored the shade. Ayaka unfastened the top two buttons of her sweat-streaked shirt. She felt the stirrings of a slight breeze and enjoyed the sensation of the air moving across her bare skin.
Modest brick homes lined the street. The girls encountered none of the occupants as they made their way down the lane. Two homes stood at the end of the cul-de-sac. Asuna took a piece of paper from her coat pocket. She unfolded it and carefully searched the neatly typed lines of text.
"That one," she said, pointing to the house on the right. "Number 396 according to Chisame's list."
A chain-link fence enclosed the front yard. They walked up the gravel drive that ran alongside the house. An unlocked gate barred their way. Ayaka pulled out two pairs of surgical gloves and she and Asuna slipped them on. She opened the gate and stepped onto the porch. The class rep tested the door knob and discovered it turned easily. She pushed open the door and stepped inside.
Light filtered in through the window shade. The constant hum of the air conditioner was the only sound they heard. They glanced about the living room. A couch and two chairs were grouped around a coffee table, and an upright piano was pushed against the opposite wall. What truly surprised them was the number of books strewn about. There must have been several hundred books in the room. They were stacked on every available surface except the lone book case. That held a number of small ornaments and decorative figures.
"I guess he likes to read," Asuna whispered.
Ayaka nodded her head in response and headed for the central hallway. She motioned for her companion to check the kitchen while she investigated a bedroom. Asuna glanced about. The sink was full of dirty dishes. Empty soda bottle ringed the waste bin and that overflowed with flattened boxes of pizza rolls and hot pockets. A coffee maker sat on the counter. It continued to heat a thin layer of the brown liquid still in the carafe. Three mugs sat next to it. She picked one up and examined it. It was half-full and she thought she saw little green things floating in it.
"Ugh," she thought as she set it back down.
They met in the hallway. Ayaka whispered to her, "Do you hear that?"
Asuna had to strain but she heard the faint sound of snoring coming from the end of the hall. Silently, they crept down to an open door and peeked into the master bedroom. A man wearing a yellow bathrobe slept in blissful ignorance on a king-sized bed. A pair of red slippers was propped against the foot of the bed.
Asuna pulled her pactio card out of her pocket. "Adeat," she said and a huge sword materialized. "Now it's your turn," she told the blonde girl.
Ayaka sat on the edge of the bed and gently shook the man's shoulder. "Wakey, wakey," she said. "My friend and I have wanted to meet you for the longest time."
The man's eyes fluttered open. He looked into the class rep's face and seemed incapable of speech. His mouth opened several times before he could manage to speak and then the only thing he could say was "Wow."
She smiled sweetly at him. "I wanted you to know how much I enjoyed your little stories about my friends and me."
"You've read my story?" he asked, truly surprised.
"Oh several times," she replied. "I particularly like that one line you wrote 'You can't tell me that Negi could be this strong for you'."
The man suddenly frowned. "Did I write that?" he muttered.
"Or how about 'Could Takamichi be this soft'."
"Um, wait a moment," he started to say but Asuna cut him off.
"And for your expletive delete information, I couldn't care expletive delete about Arkansas!" she yelled.
His eyes widened in terror as the slender girl hefted her great sword above her head. "Die Ambrant Arandel!" she cried.
The blade sheared through the mattress and struck the box springs with a raucous thunk. The girl tugged on the massive sword, trying to release it from the metal coils. "Expletive delete!" she cried out. "It's stuck."
The man was sitting up and had his arms wrapped around Ayaka in a death grip. "Don't hurt me," he pleaded. "You've made a terrible mistake."
"The only mistake I made was misjudging how quickly you can move," she replied.
Ayaka tried to move her arms but they were pinned fast to her sides. Her breasts pushed up against his chest as he held on for dear life. "Let go of me!" she demanded.
"Not till your friend ditches the sword."
"Fat chance of that," Asuna said. The sound of wood splintering and coils popping filled the air as her blade came free.
She gazed down at the man struggling to hold onto the blonde girl. "I swear you will never write another chapter again."
"But I'm not Ambrant Arandel," he sobbed. "I only wish I was."
"What?"
"I mean I wish I could write like him," he corrected himself. "I'm Kafka'sdragon."
Asuna looked over to Ayaka for help. The girl's face was flushed and she gasped "Can't breath."
"Oh alright, abeat," she said. The frustration was evident in her voice, but her artifact vanished all the same.
Reluctantly, the robed man released Ayaka. She took several deep gulps of air. At the same time, he noticed that several of her buttons had come undone during the struggle. He stared, bedazzled by the sight, until Asuna smacked him on the back of his head.
"You say you're Kafka'sdragon, but can you prove it?"
"It's not like I have a photo id with my pen name," he replied. "Oh wait."
He knelt on the floor and pulled four cardboard boxes from underneath the bed. He placed the boxes on the mattress and removed their lids. To his disappointment, Ayaka had buttoned her blouse back up.
The boxes each contained several hundred pages of neatly typed text. "What's all this?" the baka ranger asked.
"These are manuscripts," he replied. "Do you remember the hero's name in my story?"
Asuna shook her head. "Never read it," she answered.
"Me either," Ayaka remarked.
The man shook his head and sighed. "It's Phillip Markham."
He handed each girl a stack of papers from a box. "These are the summaries for two of the novels," he told them. "Who is the hero?"
Asuna scanned the pages. "Phillip Markham," she answered sourly.
"This one too," the blonde noted. "Let me see that list again."
"This is the address written down," Ayaka said. "I wonder if Chisame sent us to the wrong one."
"Why would she do that?" her companion asked.
"Maybe she decided to deal personally with Mr. Arandel." She replied. "After all, she narrowly avoided having to do it with Nijuin-sensei in her chapter."
"Is Kafka'sdragon on the list?"
"No," Ayaka said. "Although Madoka was upset to be paired with an older man."
She heard Asuna clear her throat and remembered her friend had a big sword. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," she hastily added.
"Sorry to have bothered you Mr. Dragon," she said as she stood up. "We'll see ourselves to the door."
The two classmates trudged back towards the highway. They were hot, sweaty and thoroughly disgusted with the turn of events. "Where to next?" Asuna asked.
"Ohio I think," Ayaka answered. "We need to take care of X Serac."
"What? But what did he ever do?" Asuna was shocked that his name was on the list. "Sure, he killed Asakura, but even she wept when she read the end of 'The Dreamer.' And Ku likes being an important character."
"He and his crony, Master Masa, really mess Theru over in their latest stories."
"Why doesn't she deal with them?"
"Well . . .,' Ayaka hesitated.
"Spill it sister."
"She promised that if we pay those two a little visit," Ayaka's face began to turn a deeper red than it had been, "then she'd write a big, romantic scene between Negi-sensei and me in her next chapter."
"You big shotacon!"
"I am not!"
As the two school girls continued their discussion, Kafka'sdragon stood in the kitchen, washing dishes. A fresh pot of coffee was brewing and his Don McLean 8 track was blaring out of the speakers. He had to replace the mattress, but the memory of Ayaka-chan pressed up against him more than compensated. He could hardly wait to tell the people at the train station all about it.
Briefly, he considered sending AA a warning, but decided against it. If he could come out alive after facing two girls and a really big sword, AA should be able to handle a deranged net idol with a flower pot.
A/N: Before you start flaming, I want to point out that that this story was done with Ambrant Arandel's kind permission. Okay, what did you think? Did you like it? Did you laugh? Did it suck? Did you think you'd never reach the end? Or are you the kind that skips to end, so now you're completely bewildered? Let me know.