"We would be much more comfortable if this were canceled outright."

"Heck no. It'll be fine. I'm looking forward to it, actually."

"The risk you are asking us to put her in-"

"Is less than normal. This is a controlled situation. I've had years to establish the variables."

Chapter Five – Sun

The streetlights flickered above. A warm wind blew past Kaoru as a black, unmarked car pulled up. Its door opened and closed with a barely discernible click as Itsuki stepped out and nodded at Kaoru.

"Thank you for meeting me this late at night," he said, both of their expressions masked in the flickering light.

"It's not a problem. Things have been calm recently, as I'm sure you're aware. Whether it was due to your sister's interference or yours, we're still not certain."

"Might be both, might be both," said Kaoru. "We in a secure location?"

The streetlights flickered, then glowed a gray-blue as they were overtaken.

"We are now," Itsuki answered. "This is of concern, by the way. The attacks have weakened, but. . ."

"The topographical nature of Closed Space has been altered, I know," said Kaoru calmly. "This bit I'm fairly sure I caused. It's a reflection of the memetic programming initiated."

"What did you talk to her about?"

"Oh, just a few things. 'Of shoes, and ships, and sealing wax.'" said Kaoru with a smirk.

"'Of cabbages and kings,'" finished Itsuki. "Ominous."

"Indeed. To be honest, the gambit's slowly morphing into a roulette. Ultimately, if I am to stop short of overt manipulation, all I can do is put more lights on one path than another. I can't make her walk."

Itsuki looked at him carefully, then grinned. "But we both know who can."

"Heh..."

The sun rose later, and one godling, one alien, a time traveler, five fallen angels, and six otherwise normal human beings stirred reluctantly from the comfortingly warm haze of sleep. Some of them were unceremoniously startled out of sleep by the resonant blast of a car horn- or, in the case of a prankster and his roommate, an air horn less than a centimeter away. But, one and all, they made their way out of the city, taking advantage of the light morning traffic, and slowly making their way upward and into the wild.

The trip up the mountainside was scenic. Beautiful, actually, as the early-morning fog slowly unveiled the sights around them. Mist clung and drifted off of vast trees, the interplay of shadows and lights dancing all around them, streaming through the condensation of the van's windows.

"So what's the Yoshioka family's cabin like?" Haruhi asked curiously. "I didn't know there was one up here."

"It's a western-style villa," Yumiko said, yawning. "Ergh, hate these early-morning trips. Anyhow, the Yoshioka family built an observatory for our club's purposes a couple of years ago, when he was a freshman."

"...that... that sounds awfully..."

"Expensive, yes." Yumiko sighed. "He shows off. I'm sorry, I know he can be a bit irritable when he does- we're in the same grade, so he's been bugging me since day one."

"Oh, you poor dear. I'm so sorry," said Mai apologetically.

Kaoru's eyebrow twitched uncharacteristically as his car struck into the dirt paths. "I'm... I'm right here, you know. Driving."

All three blew him a raspberry as the luggage behind them shook softly.

The other van, on the other hand, was filled to brimming with occupants. An elbow to face situation, almost definitively, or sardines packed in a can. Some of the club members were even on the floor, riding out the jostling shakes of the dirt road. Scenery? What scenery?

"We're almost there," called out the driver and vice president, Tanaka Iori. "Just bear it a little longer."

"Vice prez, you suck!" called out a disatisfied voice from the far back. Snickering emphasized his statement.

"Hey, you drive worse than I do!" Tanaka snapped back. "Remember last year?"

"Nobody saw that turtle on the road!"

"Yare yare..." sighed Kyon. His face was pressed against the window pane- a situation made even more uncomfortable by the fact that he was being pressed up against it by Itsuki. Thoughts of Tsuruya's teasing bubbled up against his will, though he consciously realized that Itsuki was probably just as uncomfortable, if not more so. The guy pressing up against Koizumi was sweating something fierce under the combined body heat of the car's occupants. "The girls lucked out..."

"It's... wow," said Haruhi, speechless for once.

The villa was a three-story mansion topped with a hemispherical observatory. Pinewood walls topped with a roof seemingly made solely of solar panels rose up from the mountain's face, catching the mist-shrouded rays of morning light.

"We'll be separating the bedroom wings by sex, of course," said Kaoru as he unlocked the trunk, coughing as the dust of travel drifted onto him. "Blegh. Anyhow, it's. . . just a formality." He gave Haruhi a sidelong glance. "We have a couple amongst us this year, after all. At least it isn't like last year, what with Yamamoto-kun and his ex. . . both of them."

"Are you. . . suggesting something?" she asked, her right eye twitching.

"Oh, nothing. Nothing. Conveniently and, I assure you, completely by chance, these thick, wooden walls do a great job of absorbing sound." He laughed as she started kicking dust at him.

The other van pulled up, and ten lightly bruised guys crawled out.

"Next year," huffed a club member. "I'm driving."

"Oh, hey, you guys alright?" asked Kaoru. "I forgot to mention- the suspension on that van's been acting up."

They all kicked dust at him. Even Itsuki.

"So what's the agenda for today?" asked Kyon as he helped Itsuki and Kaoru unpack the vans. "The girls are talking about taking a hike down the southern trail."

"Well, first, I was thinking about making some lunch," mused Kaoru as he handed a few backpacks to Itsuki. "Bit of a challenge, feeding sixteen people- I had somebody send up three day's worth of food supplies, of course, but cooking it all might be tricky. Last year was only ten folks."

Kyon eyed him.

". . .what?"

". . .you're cooking."

Kaoru gave him a quizzical look. "Um, yeah. I always do."

"Don't you own maids or chefs or something?" Kyon asked, skeptic.

Kaoru's confusion faded to hurt. "Hey, that's uncalled for. I like cooking. Just because I have a mansion up in the mountains doesn't mean I. . . spend money like. . . . . .alright, so you have a point," he muttered, embarrassed at Kyon's observation.

Itsuki chuckled as he bumped the trunk door closed. "About the itinerary?"

"Oh, right," grunted Kaoru as he heaved up two heavy coolers. "Most of the activities, given my club's focus, are nocturnal. We're actually due for a meteor shower tomorrow night, much to our luck, and the weather's going to be fair for the duration of our stay."

". . .I don't want to know why you didn't mean 'predicted to be fair,'" said Kyon.

Kaoru rolled his eyes. "Geez, but you're grumpy today. No, it's going to be fair because the weather service forecasted sunny skies for at least a week. I don't screw with the weather- too many variables."

Itsuki nodded. "And, of course, if Suzumiya-san doesn't want it to..."

"Ha, yes, of course. I'll be manning the barbecues today, feel free to check out the lake nearby. If you aren't the outdoorsy type, I've got a book collection upstairs large enough to satisfy even Nagato-san." They walked onto the balcony, where a barbecue grill was already billowing with smoke and fire. Kaoru set down the coolers, and breathed a sigh of relief. "The girls had the right idea- it really is a beautiful day today."

"Hey, cool!" exclaimed Haruhi as the girls took a break on an old, short bridge. A massive waterfall crashed before them, splashing down into a deep lake, a cool spray of mist creeping across the rippling surface and cooling them down. "Talk about scenic!"

She promptly started to strip.

Yumiko jumped back a step, shouting, "Wha-what are you doing?!"

"Taking a swim, what do ya think?" said Haruhi. "C'mon! It's warm today!"

"But- but there's ten guys around here!"

Haruhi laughed. "So? Didn't you bring your swimsuit? Yoshioka-san mentioned a lake, after all. Mikuru-chan! Hurry up!" A loud splash- a cannonball right off the bridge, drenching Mai and Mikuru with a squeal of surprise. Mikuru joined in soon after, with Yuki calmly stripping down to a one-piece and walking in behind her.

"Hey, come on, Nanahara-san!" said Mai, laughing as she quickly undressed. "We're the only ones out here- the guys are all busy setting up the equipment for tonight."

"W-well, what if some of them decided to take a break? I- I mean, I don't want some geek to come by just to stare at me!" Yumiko protested.

"Nanahara-san, did you forget to bring a swimsuit?" asked Mikuru.

"Um- yeah, that's right, I left my swimsuit in my room, see, and-"

"Just jump in then!" Haruhi commanded. "It's just us girls here, and your clothes will dry in no time!"

"That's. . . that's a ridiculous suggestion!"

Yuki blinked". . .Sufficient data obtained. She appears to suffer from mild hydrophobia."

Yumiko gave the alien an exasperated and defeated look. "It. . . it isn't that. I. . . I can't swim."

"Oh..." said Haruhi, momentarily disappointed. Then that irrepressible smile flared right back up. "That's alright! I'll teach you!" She began to swim for the shore.

"What? Teach me? What do you- hey! Hey! No! Aah! Mai, help me- no, not you too! Leggo! Leggo- GIVE THAT BACK!"

In hindsight, she should have really started running off of that bridge the moment she realized she was caught between a sociopath and - even worse - Haruhi.

"Hey, where are the girls?" asked Keisuke as he strolled up to the barbeque pits. "Smells like lunch's ready."

"They grabbed some lunchmeats and went off to find the nearby lake," Itsuki answered as he gave Kyon an impenetrable smile. The Go board between them was riddled with a storm of black pieces.

Kaoru nodded in confirmation. "Told them to bring swimsuits ahead of time. It's nice, warm weather we're having."

Keisuke gave him an odd look. ". . .swimsuits. Um. . . you aren't scrying them right now, are you?" Kaoru gave him a confused look as he turned over a hot dog. "Well, your nose is bleeding."

". . .it's- what the. . .! Grab the tongs- grab the tongs, dammit!" He shoved the utensil into Keisuke's hands as he groped for a paper towel. "Blasted mountain air!"

Yumiko wheezed and panted as she clung desperately to the shore. "I'm in, alright?! I'm in the water! Happy?!"

"No!" declared Haruhi. "You must swim! Swim!"

"But I don't want to!"

"But you must!" Haruhi paddled furiously as she clung to the other girl's waist- to no avail, as Yumiko's vice grip on the pillar was insurmountable. "Mmmnnrrrgh! Come on! How are you ever going to get over your fears if you don't confront them head on?!"

"Who said I wanted to confront anything?!"

"You know..." said Mai thoughtfully. "My brother has this thing about bikinis. . ."

Yumiko looked back, surprised. "Huh? He does?"

"Not really. No more so than any other guy. I just said that so you'd loosen your grip."

"GOTCHA!" yelled Haruhi as she tugged hard.

"AAAH! STOP! YOU'RE PULLING IT OFF! YOU'RE PULLING IT-"

"I. . . I think I'm getting a bit faint," said Kaoru as he reached for a tissue box. "Um. . . Iori-san, take over the grill, will you?"

"Are you alright?" asked Iori as he rushed over and took up the tongs.

"I dunno! It won't stop leaking!" exclaimed Kaoru in a mild panic. "Maybe I had too many beers? Whoa, woozy... yeah, one too many cans..."

Itsuki got up and grabbed his shoulders. "Yoshioka-san, you might want to get out of the sun. I think you're suffering from mild heat exhaustion."

"You're probably right. . . oergh. . ."

They finally calmed down, though Haruhi was still giggling intermittently. They were resting on the west bank of the lake, soaking up the sunlight. Or, at least, everybody else was - Yumi was sprawled flat on the ground, breathing raggedly from exhaustion.

"See? Told you I'd teach you to swim!" said Haruhi, enthusiastically flashing a victory sign at her. "All you needed was motivation!"

"Ne. . . Suzumiya-san. . . maybe you went too far. . .?" asked Mikuru.

"Don't be ridiculous! The greater the motivation, the greater the chance of success!"

". . .I. . . am this. . . close to claiming. . . sexual harrassment," Yumiko hissed between breaths.

"Suzumiya-san is, however, correct," interjected Yuki. "You swam successfully for five-point-thirty-two minutes. Congratulations."

"Huh? But I. . . huh."

Mai pondered. "Hmm. . . actually, my brother doesn't like to swim much himself. But that really only started last year, for some reason. Yumi-chan, do you know what happened?"

Yumiko flushed instantly. "It. . . it's nothing. I don't know."

"Ooooh?" said Haruhi mischievously. "I smell a seeecret!"

"It's nothing!" protested Yumi. "There's not much to it, alright?"

"Well, what is there to it?" asked Mai curiously. "We were both on a family cruise a few months before that club excursion. He was doing laps in the pool the entire time, so his hydrophobia definitely wasn't before then."

Yumiko flushed, and looked awkwardly away. "I did something stupid last year, alright? There was a drought last year, remember, and it was really hot... so I... I jumped off that very bridge, actually. Only, the water level was a lot lower, and there was a boulder..."

The girls, excluding Yuki, winced.

"What happened?" asked Mikuru. "Were you... were you alright?"

Yumiko squirmed. "I don't remember. I was knocked out cold. The next thing I remembered was waking up in that clinic at the small town we passed by on the way here. Haruko - Yamamoto-san's ex-girlfriend, was in the room."

"Hm? But what does this have to do with my brother?" asked Mai.

Yumiko looked away. "Haruko. . . told me that he was the one that pulled me back up. And. . . and that they had to tranquilize him, actually."

Mai sighed as a moment of silence passed. "I'm sorry, Yumi-chan. That must've been mortifying," she said. "You recover from your injury, only to find that my brother. . . was an idiot. Again."

Haruhi looked uncharacteristically thoughtful. "I don't know. . . The only times I've seen Kyon in a panic, he thought I was hurt. And I've never seen Yoshioka-san lose control."

"You- you aren't suggesting that he. . . I. . ." stammered Yumiko.

Mai thoughtfully took Yumiko's hand, and gave her a sweet smile. "Nanahara-san, please take care of my brother? He can be an idiot, so he needs somebody sensible to watch over him."

"Wha. . . whaaaaat?!"

"Whew, alright. I feel a bit better," sighed Kaoru as he slid the balcony door closed behind him. "How's the grill going?"

"Not bad, not bad," said Kyon as he bit into a rib. "Hey, haven't the girls been gone for a while?"

Kaoru checked his watch. "They should be heading back soon. I told sis to come back in time to help set up dinner."

". . .I completely forgot your sister was with them. Um, are you sure that's a good idea?"

Kaoru emphatically nodded. "Nanahara-san's with them. And Nagato-san. You know what Nagato-san's capable of - and Nanahara-san is absolutely trustworthy. There aren't that many of 'us' here this year, actually - only those three over there by the telescopes, and us two. But even without Nagato-san, I can breathe easily as long as Yumiko's watching over the situation."

Kyon nodded absentmindedly as Itsuki made his move, placing a white piece down with a smug "click" and swept the board.

Yumiko grumbled as they hiked on back. "I don't get it. . . how the heck do they have so much energy? We hiked for four hours, s-swam for one. . ."

"Suzumiya-san is. . . energetic," said Mikuru, smiling half-apologetically as the two of them slowly made their way behind the rest of the group. "It's partly because her metabolism is abnormally. . . um. . . wait, that's confidential. . ."

Yumiko snorted. "Let me guess - she doesn't want to feel tired, so she isn't."

"Um. . . that's pretty close."

Yumiko nodded. "That would probably explain Mai's unusual level of energy too. If she isn't careful, she's going to give away her true nature."

Mikuru shook her head. "Mai is. . . more complicated than she looks."

"What's so complicated about a gore-loving psychopathic?" scoffed Yumi, glowering at the other girl's back.

"Well, I did my history thesis on. . . ah!" Mikuru flailed, suddenly recalling both place and time. "Um - um - forget I said anything! Please!" she exclaimed desperately.

Yumiko looked at Mikuru quizzically. ". . .Oh, right, Yoshioka-san said that you're a time traveler. Well, I won't ask too much."

". . .Th-thank you," said Mikuru gratefully. "My superiors. . . they're threatening to drop my pay grade again. . ."

Yumiko laughed. "Really? But you've been on this case for, what, five years now?"

"I- I know. . ." she said sadly. "I don't understand why they chose me to- oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to complain!"

Yumiko gave her a bewildered stare. ". . .Asahina-san, you are in dire need of a vacation."

"Hey! You're back just in time!" Kaoru yelled as the girls came down the path. "Everything's set up and ready- and the grill's running hot!"

"You pyro," said Yumiko bluntly. "Did you set anything on fire this time? Your shirt? The benches?"

"Hey! That was only once! I didn't use nearly as much lighter fluid!"

Yumiko glared at him suspiciously. "Are you trying to tell me you weren't cackling with glee when you tossed in the match?"

". . .Maybe a little." he answered sheepishly.

"President Yoshioka scared the first-years again," said Keisuke as he walked out of the house, a projector in hand. Three club members were behind him, grunting as they hefted a giant, rolled-up screen. "One's still in the restroom, whimpering about 'the devil, the devil!'"

"Heh. . ." said Kaoru, grinning slyly. "Maybe I should do that next year as well, as an initiation ritual for the. . ." He trailed away under the girls' stony glares. ". . .Never mind."

Keisuke sighed. "I thought you stopped drinking?"

"You've been drinking again?!" exclaimed Mai angrily.

".. . Yamamoto, you tattler. . ." said Kaoru glumly as his sister dragged him off by the shirt collar into the cabin.

Kyon sighed as he sat back on a plastic recliner, ignoring the yelling coming from within, then yelped as a sudden mass of brown hair and mischief landed square on his stomach. "Ooph, Haruhi!"

"Heeeya," she said, grinning madly. "We found a lake."

"I see that," said Kyon, his voice muffled through a face full of wet hair. "Feel it too."

"You're coming with me tomorrow, of course. That's an order."

"Hai, hai, Danchou. . ." he sighed, though with a small smirk. Haruhi in a bikini didn't sound like too much of a bothersome activity, even if it does mean hiking. Besides, all those years trekking up that hill to school, a short walk to the lake posed no challenge.

"Good boy," said Haruhi cheekily as she pecked him on the cheek. "Now, since you feel like being so obedient, give me your seat and get me some hamburgers." She giggled as Kyon walked off muttering.

"Gets cold fast, doesn't it?" asked Yumiko as she approached Mikuru, on the observatory's deck, two cups of hot cider in her hands. "It's not Autumn yet, but you can already feel the seasons change, yeah?"

Mikuru nodded gratefully as she took the cider. "I'm not used to the weather changing so suddenly."

"Ah? So I guess global warming's still a problem?" Yumiko smiled as Mikuru's face flushed. "Sorry, sorry. Besides, climate change is a slow thing- I should know."

"Oh... oh yeah. You've been around for... um... quite a while, haven't you?"

Yumiko nodded. "Only in human form a few times, but yes. First century was a mess - no word from my superior for years at a time, then bizarre orders coming out of left field. You know, I actually missed having tear ducts?" Mikuru started to sniffle. Yumiko looked at her in alarm, and set her mug down against the railing. "Asahina-san? Are you alright?"

"Y-you understand. . ." The lament was punctuated by soft hiccups.

Yumiko gingerly took the mug out of her hands. Apparently, hard cider went straight to Mikuru's head.

"What. . . what the heck did I just watch?!" protested Haruhi as she munched irritably on popcorn. Kyon was irritated too, his eyebrows twitching - she was taking the popcorn straight out of his hands, just as he was about to bite down himself.

He had to admit, however, that Haruhi's confusion was not unwarranted.

"This is truly a fascinating film," Itsuki mused. "'Von Neumann's Catastrophe'. . . Yoshioka-san, who directed this?"

"Mm, acquaintance of mine in Taiwan." Kaoru plunked down a refilled cooler in the middle of the grass field. Five hands immediately shot out towards him, palms faced up. "Lazy bastards- get it yourself!"

"Ah, a student work? It is surprisingly philosophical."

"What, you mean for a sci-fi noir action flick? Eh, I guess so. The idea was based off the works of World War Two intelligence activities, given a bit of a modern tech spin. Procedurally generated 'Strange Loops' of disinformation. The acting's more than a bit wooden, though." Kaoru tossed him a drink.

"Ah, thank you. Well, true, the acting isn't professional. But I've noticed that the theme of absolute uncertainty extends into the cinematography itself - the blending of the real and the virtual."

Kaoru grinned widely. "Are you sure it isn't a blend of the virtual and the real?"

"What's the difference?" asked Haruhi, her curiosity piqued. "You just switched the words around, after all."

Kaoru nodded. "But placement is key. Is it a plot from the virtual world intruding upon the domain of the outer world? Or is it the other way around?"

Haruhi frowned as she mulled it over. "It's neither. Von Neumann's Catastrophe's' own title suggests that there is no absolute answer to the story's central question- it's the real world controlling the virtual controlling the real, and so on and so forth. Just like how quantum uncertainty can't be resolved without determining the quantum state of the measuring apparatus, then the state of the measuring apparatus used to determine the prior one, and so on."

The boys paused, and gave her an incredulous look, Kyon most of all. She began to fidget uncomfortably under their stares.

". . .What?" she finally asked. "I read about it somewhere. . ."

Kaoru laughed loudly as the credits rolled. "Kyon-kun, this one's a keeper! Cheers, Suzumiya-san - you're the first one in the club to grasp that so quickly. Was it my impromptu tour of the library that helped?"

A look of consternation crossed her face. "M- maybe?"

"Heh, glad to hear," said Kaoru slyly. "You're welcomed to borrow whatever catches your interest, Suzumiya-san."

"Thanks, I guess. . . Kyon, what are you doing?" For all intents and purposes, it seemed as if Kyon was giving her a scalp massage.

"Just trying to see if your head grew bigger since the last time I checked," he said, grinning.

"Mou, baka. . . ah. . . right there. . ." Or perhaps he really was giving her one.

Itsuki gave a polite cough. "Well, it's getting late. Perhaps we should turn in?"

Kaoru snickered. "Alright, alright. You two head back in. There'll be a scattering of meteors tonight, actually, but they're just precursors for tomorrow's event. Koizumi-kun, I believe you wanted to check it out?"

"Mm. . . I am a bit sleepy. . ." said Haruhi as she impishly collapsed onto Kyon. "Kyon! Carry me!"

"Unph! Ow, my shoulders," groaned Kyon as he struggled to his feet. "Argh, lay off the hot dogs, Haruhi!"

"Hey, no making fun of my weight!" She tightened her grip around his neck.

"Argh. . . alright! Alright! To bed with you!"

The two other boys laughed as they separated for the night.

". . .a-and then they started dating, a-and that's how it's supposed to go, you know?" mewled Mikuru sadly. "And - hic - and what can I do? I-I'm not supposed to f-fall for. . . for. . ."

Yumiko had changed her mind about keeping the cider away from the other girl. She poured a fresh up, and handed it to Mikuru, nodding glumly as the time traveler laid out years of frustration before her.

"Well, hey, there's got to be an end in sight, right?" asked Yumiko. "And your superiors must think you're doing a decent job of it."

"Th-that's what I try and tell myself. . ." She sighed morosely. ". . .I mean, I can't say that being with Suzumiya-san and K-Kyon and everybody else isn't fun sometimes. . . even Yuki. Actually, it's been a lot of fun sometimes. Koizumi-san took us out to this island once, owned by his Organization. . ." She smiled, remembering. "They planned- hic- planned a whole murder mystery event for Suzumiya-san."

Yumiko nodded as she took a sip of hot cider. "The world does seem to revolve around that girl. Which is understandable. Still, Asahina-san, your work revolves around her, not your life. C'mon- the future's gotta have genetic tweaking and such, 'cuz I absolutely refuse to believe your parents didn't specifically opt for the cute look. You must get dates all the time!"

Mikuru giggled. "That's confidential!"

"So what am I looking for?" asked Itsuki as he peered through a massive array of home-built lenses and calibrators. "I definitely see a few streaks, but I have a feeling that isn't related to the business at hand."

Kaoru sighed. "Well, you'll hopefully not see it. Celestials, I mean. If we were anywhere else in the entire world, I wouldn't have dared bring them together in such close proximity for an hour, much less a full night."

"I assume one of the 'them' in question is Suzumiya-san?"

Kaoru nodded. "And the other is my sister. The problem with infinities, Koizumi-kun, is that you can't really subtract from them."

Itsuki nodded grimly. "Suzumiya-san's strength returned rapidly. Your sister's own strength is also waxing full - the power she drained from the brigade chief is taking its time to dwindle. You are expecting an attack soon?"

For a moment, the world felt. . . filtered, as if the myriad shades of black and green of the night had been twisted and warped through tiny sieves. When the sensation faded, the silvery blue aura that permeated Closed Space had settled down upon them.

"'Expect?' No, I know she'll attack." Kaoru's eyes gleamed in the dim light of the closed universe. "I know it, because I was the one that taught her."

AN: This was a fun chapter to write, for reasons obvious and not. Enormous thanks to Esbee and Chris for proofreading- an external perspective makes all the difference in the world.