The Evolution of Suzumiya Haruhi
"Been a decade or so. How's the Project going?"
"The Singularity remains stable. You have the relevant reports."
"Yeah, I have the relevant reports. What I don't have is your personal assessment. You're an heuristic AI- a portion of the IDE. Not some backwater algorithm."
"...understood. It is of the opinion of this unit that the Strongly Godlike Entity is stable as of the present moment. She has shown all of the worst case scenario indicators, but excepting the incident of four years past, and theoretically seven years past, has not acted outside of expected parameters."
"Heh. 'Expected parameters.' Right. I wonder if it ever occurred to them that she might be more stable if she were to be made aware of the inherent responsibilities of her powers..."
"A scenario involving her 'awakening' has been considered and rejected. "
"Perhaps. I'll be seeing you soon."
Chapter One – Expansion
She never really questioned it- and why would she? As she's done all her life, since that moment of revelation seven years ago, she's done the best she could to make life fit the mold of her mind's eye. So when it came time to apply for colleges, when the Tests came into sight, it was only natural that she would take the lead in every one of their academic efforts- the all-night cram sessions, the massive pile of flash cards (whose creations were, naturally, delegated to her boyfriend), the constant bickering with the teachers for every tenth-point in their GPA... Suzumiya Haruhi was a one-woman assault upon the local educational establishment, and as far as she was concerned, her efforts paid off.
They were all in the same college. Her, Kyon, Itsuki, Yuki, even Mikuru. Never mind that Mikuru had already graduated a year before them, and only transferred because her school and inexplicably burned down. Never mind that Kyon's test scores could only be described as "unremarkable." Never mind that, under ordinary circumstances, there was no way in hell the prestigious Tokyo U would've accepted all of them. To Haruhi, the important thing- the only thing- was that the SOS-dan were still together.
Kyon, of course, knew a little better. He leaned back on the park bench, basking in the last sun of the summer, contemplating his continued fate as the straight man of their oddball group as his weiqi partner in turn contemplated the layout of black and white stones.
"Ah, tricky," murmured the esper as he carefully placed a black stone into the fray. "You're getting better at deception, Kyon-san."
Kyon shrugged. "Still going to lose to you, of course. How many games have we played up until now?"
"Oh, a hundred or so. You have beaten me before, though."
"Yeah. Then you got smacked into me by that celestial two years ago, and I learned- well, confirmed, rather- that you've been holding back."
"Haha, yes. That was an amusing week, wasn't it?"
Kyon snorted. "Sure, for you maybe. Took me three days to learn how to turn off that mindreading trick. I don't know how you cope."
Koizume shrugged. "It's like bicycling. It's hard at first, then you get used to it. Sometimes you even get a Lance Armstrong. Besides, she wouldn't have let you come to harm."
Kyon eyed his friend. "Er, didn't quite follow that."
"Some of my... brethren, the more religious sorts, claim that her dominion is absolute- nothing's left to chance, only whim. She probably wanted you to have the powers for at least a little while- you did, after all, get to know her, ah, quite a lot better that week."
Kyon blushed. Halcyon memories of junior year threatened to rise and deepen his embarrassment. "Y-yeah, I guess so. I don't buy that deterministic junk, though. She's not even subconsciously aware of her powers- how can she arrange that sort of coincidence?"
Koizume nodded happily. "Neither do I, actually. But personally... well, we know she's not nearly as one-dimensional as she appears. And our telepathy is, itself, of limited ability. Even if she didn't plan it out, she probably wished for a confidant And you know better than to ask me 'why me?'"
Kyon made a face. "Well, I suppose it worked well enough."
"Our goddess is a merciful one," said Koizume slyly.
"Oh cut it out."
Kyon lost again.
On the other end of campus, Suzumiya Haruhi was getting... dangerously... bored. Having Mikuru prance around in bunny wear to attract new members for the Tokyo U branch of the SOS-dan has been inexplicably unfruitful. Plenty of guys came by their club table to ogle, sure- but hardly SOS material. Sure, every good club has a pervert- it's an established anime staple. But Kyon already had that... K-kyon...
Her eyes narrowed as she felt a flush encroaching. The least dynamic and agreeable of the club members, and she ended up dating him! Itsuki was better-looking and better-behaved, and it wasn't as if there was a lack of guys back in high school that still approached her, despite her eccentric reputation. Sure, they were all basically trying to get into her pants (or skirt, as was the school uniform), and Koihime-san was... almost creepily enigmatic, but... ...still.. ...well, Kyon... knew her... Since day one, he's been the first to figure out her moods, her quirks... even accepted them, despite his unceasing complaints. A-and when they finally started dating... two years now, and she still got lost in a warm haze when he...
"Ah-hem, miss? Er, are you awake...?"
Haruhi snapped out of her revere. "Huhwha?"
"Sorry to bother you. I, er, wanted more information...?"
Ah! Much better! Haruhi's day was brightened considerably. The newcomer was painfully polite, timid even, which meant that she'll more likely than not to follow Haruhi's whims. Not quite as moe as Mikuru, but-
"Wrong table, sis. That's the SOS- the Astronomy and Science Fiction Association's that booth."
-drat. No way! This girl isn't going to fall into the clutches into a bunch of dirty geeks! Not if Suzumiya Haruhi had anything to say about it! Besides, there was that pesky minimum number of club members to fulfill...
"Hey, she can choose for herself!" snapped Haruhi as she jumped up from her chair. "Don't be so overprotective you geeky... er..."
Wrong choice of words perhaps. He certainly didn't look the part. Too... polished. Fit. Didn't fit the stereotype at all. Yoshioka Kaoru was a synthesis of paradoxes- fashion and good taste firmly embedded into a framework of esoteric passions. The ASFA was one of the largest clubs on campus, second only to the political and representative organizations, and it was thanks in part to the reputation of but a few key members. Unsurprisingly, however, that went hand in hand with a high turnover rate when the girls (and some guys) got to realizing that there were other ways to approach the lookers in the group. He flashed a defiant grin at the brigade leader.
"Yes, was there something?" asked Kaoru. "Look, Suzumiya-san, it's nothing personal, alright? Sis and I were officers in our high school club- I just forgot to tell her where our booth was. Besides... you certainly seem as if you have enough recruits."
"Um... ano... we can join more than one club, right?" asked the younger of the Yoshioka siblings. Mai was perhaps the antithesis to her brother- thick, horn-rimmed glasses and faded, nondescript clothing- cute, definitely, but buried deeply under a thick swab of drab. Nature granted their family a rare visage... but nurture had totally different plans. "I could join both..."
"Phah. I've seen your workload, sis. No way-"
"You should join the SOS then!" interrupted Haruhi. "We're much more interesting. All your brother's club do all day long's look at stars, talk geek, and drool over anime girls. I was at their last meeting-"
"Which was the second of the quarter, and she pointedly didn't mention the event planning that happened early on," interjected Kaoru firmly. "Besides, the SOS Brigade's not any better- they go 'looking for aliens, time travelers and espers' like a bunch of little kids-"
"HEY! Why you-"
"STOP!" yelled Mai desperately. "Stop fighting!"
Daggers glared back and forth between Haruhi and Kaoru... and the latter was first to relent. Kaoru breathed out. "I think what we have here is a mutual misunderstanding. Alright, it's not as if it's going to be a permanent arrangement if Mai-chan doesn't like it anyhow. You can join Suzumiya-san's club if you want to, Mai."
"Alright..."
"Yay!" exclaimed Haruhi. "Welcome to the SOS-dan, Yoshioka-sa-"
"On one condition!" said Kaoru over Haruhi's exuberance. "I don't like how you portrayed my club and friends, Suzumiya-san. And I know you're having trouble filling quota. For the loan of my sister, I demand your own continued presence in the ASFA- and to sweeten the deal, for every other member of the SOS that also joins, I'll have one of my pals sign up for the SOS as well. Get them all to join and that's a hundred-percent expansion. I personally guarantee it."
"...Hmph. Itawai-san's in charge, right? I'll have to finalize the deal with your president."
"Elections were during the i first /i meeting, Suzumiya-san, amongst the recurring members," said Kaoru, grinning with open amusement. "You're talking to him."
Oh gods it's finally finished! Just chapter one, and I spent about three days angsting over it. ;; That'll teach me to let my writing skills atrophy for months at a time. Anyhow, to the Kyon x Haruhi crowd and LJ group, a shoutout t' ye all- and don't worry. The usual reaction when a fanficcer starts tossing in major original characters is usually apprehension and dread- indeed, nine times out of ten, their mary sues or gary stus're going to end up hitched with the protagonist. Maybe this is a bit of a spoiler, but I figured that the readers deserve a break this once- I can swear, wholeheartedly, that Kaoru's not going to so much as kiss Our Goddess.
No comments on Mai. (JK! Jk! ...maybe. 3)