What Destiny Is

Summary: Dean's trying as hard as he can to sheild Sam from any kind of worries. But can he really do that when he's reaching the breaking point himself? Preseries

AN: I was thinking about making a long Supernatural fic without without a monster for the brothers to fight. This is what I came up with. Hope ya all like it. R&R

Dean 14, Sam 9

Warning: Language

Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine

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Chapter one

...I'm trying to give you the life that I never had

I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh

I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry

--

John was gone. Not that it was anything unusual but for the first time in about four years he had not called anyone to check on the boys. Dean was hoping that it meant he had gained some of John's trust back but for some reason he doubted it. The shtriga wasn't something John would forget in just few years.

Dean was shaken away from his thougts by the school bell. Finally! Dean put his stuff in his bag in a blink and was half way out of the door when his teacher called him back. Dean closed his eyes and took a calming breath before turning around to face the middle aged Mrs.Rivers with glasses that made her eyes look twice as big as they really were. Dean hated those glasses. Oh God, he hated them.

"Sit down, would you?" Mrs.Rivers said.

"Is this gonna take long?" Dean asked, looking at the clock. Sam would we pissed if he had to wait alone in the school yard.

"Well, that depends on you. I'm worried about you, Dean."

She had used his first name. She was trying to be nice. Oh, great.

"Why? I thought I was doing pretty good", Dean said, thinking about his report full of B's.

"It's not about your grades. You walk your little brother to school and pick him him up after, right?"

"Yeah..." Dean said. How the hell did the teacher know that, Sam was in another school!

"What time does your Dad usually get home from work?" the teacher asked.

"Uh... about six or seven..." Dean said, trying to make his voice sound as light as he could. He looked outside, It had started raining. Oh, that was just fucking great. If Sam had to wait for long he would catch a cold and that was so not something Dean needed right now.

"So you cook your brother dinner or has your Dad made it ready for you?" Mrs.Rivers asked.

What the hell...? "We usually eat when he comes home. I just fix Sam some snack after school..." Okay, that was a lie. First: John didn't know how to cook, second: Dean couldn't remember the last time they had eaten dinner as a family.

"Isn't that kind of a big responsibility? I mean, Dean, you're only 14 years old. Only thing you should be worrying about is school and... I don't know, girls ."

Okay, so in what world did this woman live in? How many boys in Dean's age worried about school more than girls? And Dean wasn't one of those boys who had to worry about girls. He was pretty sure he could charm any girl he set his eyes on. And right now he didn't even want to charm any girls. He wanted to get Sam out of the rain and take him home, help him with his homework and then possibly make his own.

"Dean?"

"What?" Dean shook his head. "Uh, no. I'm happy to take care of him, it's okay. I uh..." Just then a lighting came from the sky, followed by thunder. Oh no... "Mrs.Rivers, I really have to go. It's raining and Sam's probably already waiting for me..."

"I understand. But could you give this to your father to sign?" The teacher gave Dean a letter. "Just so I know everything's really okay." Dean put the letter in his bag, not paying any attention to the teacher anymore. He didn't hear her yelling have a nice day when he ran out of the classroom.

Sam's school wasn't far from Dean's. It was a little bit smaller but looked nicer from the outside and was hell of a lot nicer from the inside. There were swings and other nice stuff on the yard to keep the young boys and girls occupied during the breaks. But it still lacked something. A shelter. Poor Sam was sitting on a swing when Dean ran to the yard. He hated the thunder, he hated the rain and right now he hated Dean, too. When Dean came to him, he just got up, picked up his bag and walked pass him. This was unforgiveble. Dean knew Sam hated thunderstorms.

"Sammy, I'm sorry", Dean said but didn't get a response. "The teacher wanted to talk to me. I got out as fast as I could, I swear. Sammy?"

"I'm cold..." Sam whispered as he sniffed. He looked down, refusing to meet Dean's eyes. Suddenly he felt arms around his shoulders and realized he felt warmer. He looked up and saw that Dean had given him his jacket. Okay, maybe he was just a little angry at Dean. "Won't you get cold?"

"It's not that long way home and you sat in the rain for almost ten minutes", Dean said with a shrug. Sam thought for a second and then held onto the jacket harder. It was too big for him but it was warm and it smelled like Dean. If Sam had felt any anger towards his brother, it had all been forgotten now.

Rest of the way was walked in silence. Everytime a lightning struck Sam went a little closer to Dean, not even realizing it himself. By the time they got home Dean was practically carrying him but didn't say a word to complain. He just sat Sam on the couch and helped him out of his wet clothes and into dry ones and gave him a blanket before making some hot coco. Okay, so maybe he felt a little guilty of being late.

"Thanks, Dean", Sam said as he took the cup that Dean offered.

"No problem, kid", Dean replied.

"You wanna join me?" Sam asked, opening the blanket so Dean would fit in. "We could watch a movie or something", he suggested. He sounded so innocent, just like any other boy that wanted to spend some time with his big brother. He still took those moments for granted. And he should, as Dean kept telling himself. For him the moments he spent with Sam were far more precious. He was just so afraid every single one of them could be the last. "Dean, come on!"

"Alright, let me just go get some dry clothes", Dean said. Sam seemed to be happy with that answer as he settled back on the couch, making sure he left enough room for Dean. It took Dean five minutes to change clothes. By that time Sam had grown anxious and when Dean finally joined him on the couch he no longer wanted to watch a movie, if he ever had. It seemed like everything that could possibly happen in school had happened today.

"...and then Tim showed us his spider. It was really big and hairy. He said it was really dangerous. That if it would bite you, you would die. And he showed it to little boys and girls, too!" Dean wanted to laugh at that. So Sam wasn't a little boy anymore, huh? "...and they wanted to touch it and Tim almost let them! It was horrible, how could he do that? He had just said that the spider could kill and then he almost let little children touch it!" Sam's cheeks were read. He couldn't understand why someone would do something like that.

"Almost, right? What stopped him?" Dean asked.

"I did..." Sam answered quietly, looking away.

"You did? How?"

"I just told him to stop and then I told the kids what the spider could do. They got really scared and ran away. Tim was really mad", Sam said, his voice still quiet.

"Did he hurt you?" Dean asked.

"He told me to mind my own business", Sam said, avoiding the question.

"Yeah, but did he hurt you?"

"He said I was stupid and too little to understand. He's only a month older than me. And I'm better at school, teachers always yell at him about everything. He's really stupid..."

"Where did he hurt you?" Sam blinked. He hadn't said Tim had hurt him, how had Dean guessed? "Sammy, tell me where he hurt you", Dean said calmly, looking Sam straight in the eye. Sam bit his lower lip. "Sam."

"He pushed me and I fell... I didn't get any scratches or anything. It just... hurt..." Sam said. His voice told Dean that he was blaming more himself than Tim. "I shouldn't have said anything", Sam said.

"Hey. What do you would have happened if you hadn't? I'm proud that you stood up for those kids", Dean said. Sam looked up to him.

"You're proud of me?"

"You bet I am! And if you want I can go talk to that Tim guy about what happens when you mess with my little brother", Dean said.

"You don't have to. I'll just tell our teacher what he did and I bet he's gonna get detention for like a month", Sam said, happy with the idea. "You gonna help me with my homework?" he asked, going from one subject to another with a blink.

"Sure if you need any help. Go get your books."

--

"When's Dad gonna get back?" Sam asked. They were sitting in a kitchen eating mac and cheese that Dean had made. Sam asked that every night that John was gone. It had grown to be a habit.

"In no time." Also a habit. Dean had no idea when John's was gonna get back. Few years ago John had said he would say exactly when he'd be back and he was always back by then but now he just said the hunt would take a while and leave. Sometimes he would back in couple of days, sometimes he'd be gone for two weeks.

"It'd be nice if would come home for my birthday..."

Oh shit. Sam's birthday. It was only a few days away. Not that Dean had forgotten, he had it all planned out. But John probably had. He sure didn't remember Dean's. And even if he did remember Sam's he might not make it back by then.

Dean sighed. "Yeah, it would", he admitted. It would be an excuse to have a little better dinner as a family, do something nice.

"I don't want a party", Sam said.

"I know you don't, Sammy", Dean replied. He was just about to assure Sam John would be back by the time of Sam's birthday when the phone rang.

"You think that's Dad?" Sam asked. The ringing stopped after two times. "It's Dad!" Sam said. When the ringing started again. He got up and went to the phone. "Dad?" The smile on Sam's face dropped and Dean's heart skipped a beat. What? "Okay... Dean..."

Dean was confused, worried and scared. This couldn't be good. He took the phone from Sam and after a calming sigh put it on his ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, Dean. It's pastor Jim."

Oh no... "Hey. What's going on?" Dean asked, aware of Sam standing next to him.

"Dean uh... It's your Dad..."

"He's okay, right?" Dean said, his voice edging with the growing fear.

"He's in a hospital, Dean. It looks pretty bad..."

No... This couldn't be happening... "What do you mean, what happened?" Dean asked. Sam's eyes went wide.

"I don't really know... Caleb's finishing the hunt that they were on. It's gonna take a couple of days and then he's gonna pick you up..."

"Wait, wait, wait, what? In a couple of days? Pastor Jim, we can't wait that long! He's our Dad!"

"What's wrong with Dad?" Sam asked but Dean didn't answer.

"Dean, I can't come and get you and you guyr are pretty far away..."

"We could come with a bus..."

"It's only a couple of days. By then the doctors know more. And who knows, maybe your Dad is better by then."

"But..."

"I have to go now. Take care of Sam. Caleb will come to pick you up, okay? Bye."

"Pastor..." But pastor Jim had already hung up. Dean put the phone down. He felt numb... His mind was completely empty and

But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is

But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep

Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream