My Danna's So Pretty! Part VIII SPIN-OFF CHAPTER

Summary: Just a spin-off chapter for My Danna's So Pretty. Enjoy!

Genre: Humor/Parody

Disclaimer 1: Noes! Don't own!

Disclaimerer 2: This is set 2 years after My Danna's So Pretty. Yeah, Sasori is dead. –cries- My sexy puppet-boy is DEAD! –sobs in the emo corner- Oh yeah, it's the same with Hidan and Kakuzu. Sexy puppet, greedy weirdo, and religion fanatic. All dead. )

Disclaimererer: Ehh. Slight hints of ItaDei, DeiTobi, and KisaMako. (KisameMakoto, not FF Mako! 8D )

By aBoOm-Un

Deidara let out a sigh, and he trudged through the doorway. "We're back!" Tobi yelled happily as he bounded into the room, and jumped onto the couch. Tobi began jumping up and down, up and down… Deidara let out a annoyed groan; he had a splitting headache. Stupid Tobi wouldn't shut up the entire trip back from stealing that scroll… Bloody Iwagakure put up a fight. Thank God he didn't run into that freakin' weirdo… What was his name? Takeshin or something… The one that tried to rape him when trying to escape from Renji. Actually, he ran into Renji, while he was stealing the scroll. Renji, the bloody idiot had grown his hair out even LONGER! Deidara remembered what happened like it was yesterday, when it actually happened 2 days ago… (-cough-)

…

A loud bang signaled that Deidara had blasted open the door. Tobi ran into the room, and reached for the scroll, as Deidara ran in after him. Tobi snatched the scroll, and the pair turned around, when suddenly…

"JACKASS!!!"

Deidara stared agape at the intruder. "Renji?!" It was indeed, Renji. His jade eyes were wide, and his hair fell down to his thighs. He was wearing his 'Gen ANBU' outfit, and he had his katana out. But, shockingly, Renji put the katana back into its sheath, and walked over to Deidara, his arms slightly raised.

"Dude! I haven't seen you in ages!" He grinned, his eyes sparkling. Deidara smirked slightly, and opened his mouth to speak, but then shut it, and raised an eyebrow.

"Aren't you s'posed to kill us, un?"

Renji shrugged. "Hell. You're an old friend. How about I give you a 1 minute head start?" Deidara blinked twice.

"Seriously? Won't you get in major crap, un?" Renji shrugged once more, and let out a yawn.

"It's not like I give a crap, yo. I'm bloody sick of being bossed around by the bloody Kage. So, steal the scroll, and run. I'll be counting as soon as you start to run." Deidara smiled at the young man, and beckoned Tobi. "Oi, Tobi. We're out, un."

Tobi jumped out the window, and Deidara was about to follow him, but he turned around and looked at Renji.

Renji opened his eyes, and said in a bored tone, "I'm counting, y'know." Deidara's eyes widened, and he jumped out the window and began to run.

As soon as Deidara jumped out the window, Renji sighed, and looked sadly at his Iwagakure forehead protector. He hesitated for a second, but then tore it off his arm, and threw it down onto the ground.

"Maybe one day I'll join you in the Akatsuki, Deidara. Until then, I'll be looking for you."

And with that final thought, Renji jumped out the window, and walked out of Iwagakure as a free man.

…

Deidara stumbled over to the faded-armchair in the far corner of the room, and collapsed into it, groaning loudly.

Quiet footsteps outside the hallway door.

Deidara's eyes snapped to the doorway, where Itachi, Kisame and Makoto were entering. Makoto had a smug smirk on her face, and had her arm slung around Kisame's neck, who was looking at her with an embarrassed smile on his face. Itachi rolled his eyes, and walked over to Deidara. Deidara stood up as Itachi approached him. The Konoha missing-nin had considerably grown over the last 2 years; he was nearly as tall as Deidara.

"Deidara-san." Itachi nodded at Deidara, who gave a slight grunt in response. Itachi raised an eyebrow, and said coolly, "Going for the brooding, badass look, Deidara? 'Cause there can only be one of those here. And besides, it doesn't suit you."

Deidara looked blankly at Itachi, until he sighed and said, "Ehh. I just can't take anymore of that THING, un." He gestured towards Tobi. Itachi raised an eyebrow. Kisame overheard this, and snickered slightly.

"Of ALL the mornings I've had when I discovered that Tobi has snuck into your bed, Deidara…"

"I know, I know, un… Do you think I WANT him there, un?!" Deidara snapped. He then sighed and fell back into the faded-armchair. "Sasori used to sit in this chair, un."

"Yeah… Y'know, he really liked you, Deidara." Itachi said quietly, sitting on the armrest. "He actually cared about you in that cold shell of his."

Deidara sighed deeply. "In the cold, soulless shell of his puppet body, a heart remained, un."

Makoto raised an eyebrow, and whispered to Kisame, "Since when did Deidara be philosophical?" The sharkman shrugged, and watched Deidara talk.

Deidara looked as if he was about to slit his wrists. Kisame laughed nervously, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Ehh… So Deidara. How did the mission go?"

Deidara looked up at the shinobi. He had a nervous smile on his face, which made him look murderous. (Which ironically, Makoto and Boom both thought was cute –insert bitchfight over the fishy here-) Deidara unconsciously shuddered, and said, "It went fine, un. Here's the scroll." He tossed the scroll at Kisame, who caught it, and threw it unceremoniously onto a nearby couch.

Makoto rolled her eyes, and then said slowly, "Well, I better leave you guys to your guy-talk… See ya." With a wink in Kisame's direction ("Oh no you don't! Boom will have your ass on a platter!"), Makoto strolled out of the room.

Kisame glanced at the doorway where Makoto left, fell onto the couch, and groaned, "God, women are weird…" ("Still in the running!") Deidara sank into the chair, and soon only his nose was visible. He groaned loudly, and rolled around slightly. Itachi opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the arrival of Zetsu, who had just walked into the room.

"Zetsu." Itachi nodded at the nin. "How's 'the thing' going?"

Zetsu's black half hissed, "None of your business, weasel."

Itachi glared at him, and said coolly, "It was my idea, asswipe. So, what's happening?"

Zetsu sighed, and his white half said hotly, "If it wasn't Tobi, I'd do it. I need him to run errands for me." Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"We did it to Deidara before, so why can't we do it to Tobi? Its, err… A 'maturity' process."

"I know that, brat. How old do you think I am?"

Itachi glared at him. "So, let's proceed with the plan as we thought as originally. Get the Leader in here. We need to make it… Professional."

Zetsu nodded. "Yeah. Go fetch, weasel."

Itachi gave the plant-man a murderous look, but left the room nonetheless. Zetsu looked over at Deidara, who was moaning in the armchair, face hidden.

"The queer pansy can't live without a freakin' puppet in his life."

"He was in love…"

"He could never be loved back. A puppet doesn't have feelings."

"That doesn't mean he can't love him." Zetsu took one small step towards Deidara, but then stepped back.

"He broke his own heart, by loving one that can't love. Leave him be."

With a final glance at Deidara, Zetsu turned around and sat down in a chair, but stood up again, because Itachi and oMg-So-EvIl Leader-san had just walked into the room, Makoto following in after them.

Makoto smiled at Kisame, and ran over to him. Deidara let out a slight whimper, and sunk even further back into the armchair. Itachi glanced at him, and looked sadly at the floor.

"Poor bastard."

Kisame set up on the couch, with Makoto grinning happily, trying to latch onto his neck. Kisame pushed her away, and said slowly, "So… What's happening? And Tobi, Goddammit, STOP JUMPING ON THE COUCH!" Tobi, who was jumping on the couch still, stopped bouncing up and down and said sheepishly, "Ehh… Sorry, Kisame-san." The fishy-nin looked blankly at him, and shrugged. Makoto had left for a bit, and came back after going to the kitchen. She began munching on a cucumber, and flopped down besides Kisame, (which meant trying to jump into his lap) who was very embarrassed to be in her presence.

Itachi rolled his eyes at his partner, and said, "Leader-san. What is the mission?" Deidara pulled himself out of the couch-folds, and looked at the Leader directly in the eye.

"A mission, un? For who?"

The Leader coughed twice, and rubbed the back of his neck. "See Deidara, that's the thing… It's.. Well…"

Itachi cut in, "Either you or Tobi has to do this mission. The mission is to go to Takigakure, and become friends with a anti-social guy, because he's Kaku's, or the seven-tails host. One of you will have to become friends with him, and betray him. But, that means you can't smile, laugh, or anything which expresses happiness."

Leader coughed, and said, "Yeah."

Deidara stared blankly at the two. "So, one of us has to double-cross a dude, and be an emo while we're at it, un?" Leader nodded.

"That sounds about right."

Deidara groaned. "Tobi's doing it, un. I refuse."

The Leader nodded. "It's quite a bit like the mission we assigned you before." The Leader looked cautiously at Tobi, and murmured to Deidara. "Actually, it's a maturity thing. We're all sick of Tobi being a bloody hyperactive idiot."

Deidara smirked, and nodded. "Yeah, sure. I'm fine with it, un."

Leader smirked back at Deidara.

"Oh Tobi!" Tobi looked at the Leader, a grin under his mask.

"Yes, Leader-san?"

"Come over here, I've got a mission for you…"

…

.xXx. Owari .xXx.

Love always,

-aBoOm-Un

xxxooo