A/N: Here is the wonderful filler chapter, titled "Act 0", with every story being made by yours truly(Since Desh's computer is broken). Please review!
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Act 0: Story 1: "What if he missed?"(This story is taken from an episode of the original anime where Anderson and Alucard fight in the Subway Station)
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Alucard and Anderson chased each other through the dark subway, after Anderson had failed to damage Alucard with his bayonets. Alucard gave chase as Anderson ran into the darkness of a subway car. After a few moments, Alucard saw a bible flying at him. Alucard raised the Jackal, smirked, aimed...and got smashed in the face by the book. Alucard reeled back, his broken glasses falling off of his face, and clutched his bleeding nose.
"OW! GOD DAMN THAT HURT!!!"
"Dinnae use th' lord's name in vain, Vampire..." Anderson said, receding from the shadows.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU BROKE MY NOSE...AH GODAMN MY GLASSES, TOO!! THOSE COST FOUR-HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS YOU ASS!!!"
"...Fer th' lord's sake vampire, ye dinnae pussy on about stuff like this when I cut yer head off!"
"Well, I couldn't because you CUT MY FRIGGIN' HEAD OFF!!!!!!"
"For pity's sake...If yer' this big of a bitch, then ah'm out."
"Fine, you stupid sack of haggis and shit!" Alucard shouted, turning around in a rage, and walking out of the train car, as Anderson dissapeared in a spiral of pages.
"...Master??" Seras asked, quizzically, as Alucard walked out of the train car. Alucard scowled and yanked Seras' red skullcap beanie off, and put it on his head. "What did you do that for, Master?"
"I need a hat at all times..."
"But...Master...that's a girl's-!"
"I KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU FOOL!!!"
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Act 0: Story 2: Walk in the Park. (Another A/N: I know in logical terms vampires can't get out in the daylight. However, I challenge you to find a logical thing in my stories.)
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"WHAT?!" Seras shouted at Integra, as Alucard stood next to her with his ever present grin.
"I asked you to take Alucard for a walk." Integra replied, brushing her hair. "Walter's in bed today with a headache so he can't do it. So it's on you, Seras."
"But...miss Integra...how am I going to..." she turned to Alucard, who still smirking, put a leash around his neck, and went into his Baskerville Hound mode. He smirked and barked at Seras, and sat down, motioning for Seras to pick up the leash.
"Be back in three hours, don't let him get hit by any cars, and make sure he doesn't kill anyone, okay?"
"...Yes Sir..." Seras sighed, picking up the leash.
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Seras walked along the park in her civilian gear, Alucard trotting happily behind her. Suddenly, he stopped next to a fire hydrant, and hiked his leg. Seras stopped, and turned around to see why Alucard had stopped, when suddenly she saw the fire hydrant catch fire and begin to melt as Alucard's piss hit it. He stoped, smirked, and continued to walk on with Seras.
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2 hours later...
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Seras walked back in, as Alucard walked in and turned back to normal. Integra looked up from her desk, and smirked.
"I suppose Alucard didn't give you too much trouble, Seras?"
"Well actually, apparently Alucard has a fondness for my leg." Seras said with a grimace, as Alucard smiled and gave a peace sign to Integra, who looked none too pleased.
"Well, Alucard, what do you have to say for yourself?" She said, as Alucard smiled and took off his glasses, cleaning them a little, before putting them back on.
"No habla English, Seniorita."
"I see. Well, you two are free to go now. Oh, by the way, I found out that Walter wasn't sick, he was just sitting in his room beating off to Bible Black all day."
An eerie silence took hold, before Alucard looked at Integra.
"What's Bible Black? Something to do with Anderson?"
"No...I think you'd better see for yourself, Alucard..."
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A/N: I'm ending this chapter right now because I'm lazy XD And I don't feel like explaining Bible Black.
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Act 0, Story 3: "What if he missed" PT. 2
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Alucard spiraled toward the HMS Eagle that Rip Van Winkle had commandeered. Rip sat freaking out, and shooting at Alucard, who kept falling...falling...falling. Zamiel had finally came for her, Rip thought. This was her end...Hunters can fear things...and Zamiel was her fear...Alucard kept flying downward and downward until...
SPLOOOSH!!!!!
Alucard had missed the ship entirely and had gone underwater. Rip and the rest of the vampires stared over the edge of the ship and watched the plane sink.
"Vell, zat made things much easier." Rip said, adjusting her glasses.
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Meanwhile, in the Millenium blimp, Major was laughing his ass off...
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Alucard sat in the cockpit of the jet, as water began to make cracks in the windows and leak through.
"Well if this doesn't suck donkey dick." He sighed, pressing the eject button, which shot him up through the water, and through the sky on a parachute...
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In London at the meeting between Integra and the Navy commander...
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"STUPID FUCKING COCKBAG DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FLY A FUCKING PLANE GODAMN GODAMN GODAMN!!!" Integra shouted, beating her head into the desk as she watched the satillite surveillence video. A few minutes of cussing later, Alucard burst through the roof, and landed on the desk.
"Hey, sorry master, do we have another plane so we can try that again? I kinda dicked the landing a little."
"NO!!! That was our only Blackbird!!"
"Ah, Jeezzz...Well, at least you've got me for protection!" Alucard smiled. Integra sat with her head on the desk for a moment, before pulling out her pistol and shooting Alucard in the face.
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Act 0: story 4: Then how did he get in the Jackal?
A/N: Read the first chapter of Volume 5 to understand this chapter.
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Anderson smirked at Alucard, drawing his bayonets.
"Vampire...Ah've procured some o' the most powerful Holy Bayonets I could have found."
Alucard smirked, drawing his Jackal.
"Oh yeah, Judas Priest? Well my gun is the reincarnation of Bruce Willis!"
Anderson stared at Alucard for a moment, before cocking an eyebrow.
"He is not dead, Vampire."
Alucard's smirk dissapeared, and was replaced by an odd look.
"Should...I come back another time, Vampire?" Anderson asked the silent, not moving Alucard. Suddenly, Alucard shot Anderson in the head and walked off, past Seras.
"Mast-"
"I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!"
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A/N I hope you enjoyed these chapters, all made by yours truly .