This one-shot was originally a filler chapter for my Inuyasha Naruto crossover Journey to Konoha Village. I was eventually going to turn it into a one-shot, but it wasn't until a couple reviewers actually asked for it. So Voila!! Here is what you guys were waiting for!!!
Sasuke and Miroku take on the fangirls!
One Shot
'No. Fuckin.' Way...' Sasuke stood before his ocean of fangirls. He swears they had some sort of radar or something because no matter where or what he was doing, they ALWAYS found him.
Backed into am incredibly tall wooden fence with no way out, the ninja's eye twitched in disbelief and shock. Staring at the girls with fear on his face, he saw that they each carried a hungry look in their star-blinded eyes.
Sasuke finally snapped out of his horrified deer-caught-in-the-headlights look and began frantically searching for a miracle escape route.
"Sasuke!!!!!! OhMiGosh!! There is like... NO POINT in hiding because we will ALWAYS FIND YOU!" Shouted a rabid pig-tailed fangirl... she even looked like she was foaming at the mouth (or she could have just been drooling uncontrollably).
The girls, savoring this time, inched closer slowly. Sasuke finally found a tree hanging over the wall he was backed into and as hard as he could, jabbed two kunai into the wall so that he could climb up and reach the hanging branch for his dear unfulfilled life.
The girls, suddenly attacked, er... ran forward so that the handsome guy couldn't escape from their death grip of 'love.' Seeing that he was attempting to escape, they angrily scratched at the large wall hoping that Sasuke's kunai would just slip out, causing him to fall into the tearing arms of the greedy fangirls.
Two-thirds of the way there, Sasuke's onyx eyes glanced below to see if he's made progress or not. But looking at them made him woozy and frightened... their risen arms waited to touch him, grab him and scratch at his flesh. Turning away from their dead-set gazes, the chunin continued to climb the rest of the wall and finally reached the branch.
Finally safe atop the large tree, he carefully looked down at the sea of girls and even some guys.
"SASUKE!! NOOO!!!!!" They all screamed, shouting 'why'sand 'we'll get you's. The ninja just sat back into the tree, waiting for them to get tired.
A couple of minutes passed, and most of the girls cleared out, giving up for a while. Sasuke jumped down from the tree, on the opposite side of the wall from where the girls were, and continued on about the rest of his day.
Finally having time to eat, Sasuke sat down in a small restaurant and waited for the waitress.
"Sasuke! Oh what can I get you today?" The cute young waitress asked gleefully while blushing. The Uchiha sighed and gave his order quickly, hoping she wouldn't bother him any further. The young woman took his order eagerly and gave it to the cook, leaving with a smile.
A chair away from Sasuke sat two elderly men eating their share of wonton soup. Not caring for them, Sasuke patiently waited for his order to arrive.
"So the monk blessed my daughter's and my new son-in-law's house. At first I thought he was a scammer, with him being so young and all." Sasuke overheard the old man tell his friend.
"Yes, many just pretend to be a monk in order to make some quick cash. Kids these days." The other old man told him.
"That's what I thought, but his prayers and blessings really did seem to bring the house a certain placidness and a safe aura to it. That monk might have been a bit pricy, but I do believe he was worth it."
"You can never put a price on safety for your family of course." Both old men smiled.
"I really am pleased with his work, so much that I invited him over for something to eat here, he should be coming any minute to meet us..."
Sasuke turned his attention to something else, they were boring and eavesdropping just wasn't really his thing.
Just then someone opened the curtain to the restaurant. It was a some guy dressed in traditional purple robes and carried a holy staff, about Sasuke's age. It was definitely the monk the old man was talking about. The two old men stood up and greeted him, thanking him for the blessing of his daughter's new house and asked him to sit down.
"Thank you but I really must be going, I just came to say goodbye. You see, my friends are waiting for me and–" The monk paused when he saw the waitress. "Ummm... well, I guess I could stay for a small cup of tea maybe." He said and sat next to Sasuke.
The waitress saw the monk and immediately turned red. He was so handsome! She quickly went over to him asking if she could 'get' him anything with a wink. They flirted non-stop, causing Sasuke to get a little irritated.
'Thanks to that stupid monk, I'm going to get my order late.' The ninja thought.
The waitress stopped talking momentarily to the handsome monk and turned to the ninja. "Oh, Sasuke, your order will be ready in a couple of minutes. Anyways, Miroku, you said? Well–" She quickly turned to Miroku again and continued flirting.
Sasuke just sat there, trying to piece together what had just happened. 'Did she just–?' Sasuke shook his head and just tried to forget about it. 'Bitch.'
Again, the curtain to the restaurant opened and someone came in. Sasuke turned only to find it was the rabid pig-tailed fangirl. His eyes widened in surprise and shock and felt as though his heart stopped.
'Dear GOD, it never ends!' Sasuke shivered and froze, not knowing what to do.
Her lips curled in a giant smile and again, she began blushing uncontrollably. "SASUKE OhMi–!" She stopped mid-sentence when her eye caught something else. The face of a handsome guy flirting with the waitress. She was confused. The flirty cute guy? Or the hard-to-get cute guy? Such tough descisons to make in life.
She walked over to Miroku and spun him around on his chair, and screamed at the waitress. "Back OFF girly! He's MINE!" She yelled at the waitress. The waitress glared at the fan girl with fire in her eyes.
"Ladies, please, no need to fight, there's PLENTY of me to go around." He told both girls with a grin. But both just continued yelling at each other. Miroku thought it was strange, these weren't regular village girls. They were different.
Sasuke stood up from his chair, told the cook to cancel his order and left the restaurant, they were taking too long, and the fangirl made him nervous. But as soon as he got outside, there were about twenty girls outside waiting for him.
"SASUKE!!!" They all yelled and chased after him again. The ninja began to run for his life for the second time that day and headed to his beloved tree. He climbed it and hoped that they would go away soon.
Miroku turned to the old men and told them that it was best that he left.
'After all, Inuyasha and the others will kill me if I don't get back in time, especially Sango.' Miroku stood up and began to leave, ignoring the girls, to his own surprise. 'What a shame to leave the two fighting over me, oh well! Plenty more fish in the sea!' He smiled to himself, thinking how he had girls wrapped around his perverted little fingers.
The pig-tailed fangirl suddenly stopped arguing with the waitress and turned around, only to see her dear man walk away from her!
"EXCUSE ME! Where do you think you're going mister!?" She cried out angrily. Miroku shivered and turned around slowly.
'Did I steal something again? Please tell me I didn't...' He patted himself, but when he concluded that he didn't steal anything, he looked up only to see that the pig-tailed girl now had shackles in her hands and a star-struck look on her face.
"You aren't planning on leaving me now aren't you my love?"She said creepily.
Miroku had never been so frightened in his life. That look in her eyes, that strange personality and the undefinable tone of her voice, not to mention those fucking shackles!!!!
The fangirl began swinging the shackles and ran after him. Miroku bolted out of the restaurant and made sure he had distance between them. He turned around and saw that she had stopped running. She turned to the separated fangirls around the village (after failing to get Sasuke again, they were all spread out) and yelled something out to them that confused him.
"Girls, THERE'S ANOTHER ONE RIGHT HERE!!!!!" She screamed excitedly.
Sasuke saw the whole thing from atop his tree and grinned to himself.
"That's what you get... see if you like it asshole!" The ninja said to himself, hoping Miroku would be torn by the fangirls.
The girls all grouped together in a crowd and stared at him in wonder and amazement as if he were a masterpiece.
Miroku stood there stunned, worried that if he made any sudden movement, they would react and chase him.
"Ummm... hehe, H-h-h-hi!" Miroku said nervously. He then did something he never thought he would ever be doing.
He ran from girls. He ran so fast, and when he turned around to see if they were still behind him, they were. They were closing in on him too. It was like they were used to it, or had practice everyday or something. They were so close his eyes were tearing from fear, so he ran faster on instinct and the first thing he saw was what he was planning on being his escape route.
"Heh... I think I like this." Sasuke told himself watching the monk run for his life. "Does he really think he can run from them forever?" The ninja laughed again to himself, but stopped when he saw where the monk was headed to.
"Fuck. No. NO!!! Go the other way, this is MY TREE!!!!!" Sasuke screamed at the monk climbing the tree he was on.
Miroku climbed up the tree, heart racing and all.
"Oh like you take up the whole tree!" Miroku yelled back, standing on the branch Sasuke was on. Good thing the tree was so high.
Sasuke glared at him, wishing he could just push him off the tree. But he calmed down, knowing his pain.
"Who the FUCK are they? It's like they were trained for this!" Miroku asked resting on the tree, feeling like he was going to faint.
"They. Are fangirls. Crazy sadistic freaks obsessed with one thing." Sasuke answered and sat down on the branch too figuring they were going to be up there for a long time.
"Usually, I'm the one doing the chasing, but yeah... no kidding, these ones are REALLY crazy." Miroku said, agreeing with him.
"What are you doing here anyway?" Miroku asked Sasuke.
"I came here for a mission, I thought MY village had some crazy fangirls, but this village takes the whole damn cake I swear. I just get here and they already KNOW me... Tell me that's not fucking creepy." Sasuke said looking at the crowd at the base of the tree.
"Nope, that's pretty creepy. I just came here to bless a house and I get THIS? How are we gonna get out of here?"
Sasuke thought about this and wondered. He got an idea and told the plan to Miroku.
"All right, you got it?" Sasuke asked. Miroku nodded his head bravely. The ninja took out a shuriken and threw it so that it would land far away from their tree. As soon as the girls saw this they screamed at each other.
"His SHURIKEN!!! IT'S MINE BITCHES!" They all ran after Sasuke's shuriken, leaving the tree alone. Both jumped down from the tree quickly and ran as fast as the could the opposite way to the entrance of the village.
"So you said your friends are on the opposite side of the gate right?" Sasuke asked Miroku while they were still running.
"Yeah, the village only let me in so they're waiting for me on the other side." Miroku answered.
The monk and ninja finally reached the enormously large gate and yelled at its retarded operators to hurry up and open it.
"Alright alright, hold your horses, lemme just go get the other guy to help me." The man slowly walked into the watch tower, taking his sweet time.
Miroku and Sasuke impatiently waited for the stupid man to hurry up and open the damn gates.
"COME ON!!! HURRY UP!!!" Sasuke yelled out. They suddenly felt the ground shake a little. Both the ninja and the monk looked at each other worriedly.
"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!! SANGO HELP ME!!!!!" Miroku screamed out. Sasuke began banging and scratching at the village gates.
"SOMEBODY OPEN THE FUCKING DOORS!!"
"Do you hear that?" Inuyasha asked the girls. Kilala's ears perked up.
"Yeah actually I do..." Sango told him. Kagome could have sworn someone calling out Sango's name.
"Come on Kilala." Sango said, and began to jog closer to hear the screams.
The girls got closer and closer, running like maniacs to the two trapped handsome guys. Again the two began scratching and banging at the wall, yelling out for help.
"You killed me you stupid monk!! I thought you said your friends were on the other side!!!" Sasuke yelled.
"Sango! Someone please!!!!!!" Miroku screamed hoping they'd hear.
They turned and saw the girls closing in on them finally.
"Goodbye world!!!!" Miroku cried out. Sasuke just wished he could be invisible or go through walls right now.
Just before the girls reached them, an armor-clad ninja-girl jumped in front of them. The little cat that was on her shoulder, jumped off and transformed in flames into a larger, fiercer version of her smaller self.
All the girls stood stunned at the what had just happened, including Sasuke.
Sango looked at the crowd of drooling girls. "That's it? I thought your life was in danger!" Sango yelled at miroku through her mask.
"IT IS!" Miroku yelled and grabbed Sasuke's collar, both jumping onto the fire demon. "Come on Sango!!" He screamed and pulled her onto Kilala as well. Kilala took off into the air and jumped over the village gates.
Finally out of the fangirls' grasp, both Sasuke and Miroku fell off of Kilala. They had seen their life flash before their eyes a couple of seconds ago.
Inuyasha scolded Miroku for taking so long to get a little money but Miroku payed no attention at all. When they were introduced to the ninja, and both told their story, Sango and Kagome looked on with 'As-if' looks on their faces. Of course that ninja was handsome, incredibly handsome and Miroku too, but come on... rabid fangirls?
"What exaggerators." Sango told them after hearing their story, Inuyasha and Shippou nodded in agreement.
"Yup, overreactors... Those girls were probably just angry at Miroku for something that he did, and this guy was sadly caught in between." Kagome said.
Sure they had fangirls chasing after them... riiiiiiiiight...
Those two are such pimps...! Review!! Sorry for the OoCness.