Reality Bites

Sam opened his eyes and groaned. He felt stiff and his head hurt. He stared down at his body, his heartbeat quickening. What the hell…? lj-cut text"Read more"

He was wearing white scrubs and his feet were bare. His hands and legs were restrained tied to the sides of the bed with tight leather binding. Sam turned his head, trying to take in his surroundings. His bed was in the middle of a small, magnolia painted room. The only other furniture was a chair by the side of the bed and, ominously, there were bars on the windows and doors. Sam felt panic begin to bubble in his chest and he pulled at the restraints. Where was he? And where the hell was Dean?

The door opened without warning and Sam watched as a woman entered the room. She was tall and elegant looking, her long blonde hair tied up in a messy bun. She reminded Sam of the Doctor they had met back in Croatoan and he forced his lips to smile at her, trying not to let her see just how scared and uneasy he was feeling.

"How are we today?" she glanced at the clipboard she was carrying and made a few notes "You seem calmer"

"Where am I?" Sam croaked out "Who the hell are you?"

"You are in Texas Pines Residential Unit" the woman spoke gently and Sam noted that she avoided using the words Mental or Asylum, even though it was clear from the room and the cloying smell, that that was where he was. "I'm your therapist – Dr Oliver"

"How long?" Sam bit his lip to keep from screaming "How long have I been here?"

"Three months" she laid it out starkly and Sam felt his stomach clench so much he thought he might vomit "Don't you remember?"

"Where's Dean?" Sam ignored her question "Where's my brother?"

"Your brother has been in on several occasions" she moved closer and perched on the chair next to him "But it always seems to upset you and then we have to sedate you – have to calm you down" she put a cool hand on his arm and he flinched, staring at her, trying to work out just what had happened to him.

Was this some sort of vision? A test? Was the yellow eyed demon involved somehow? Sam stared into the Doctor's eyes. They were blue and kind and he could see no trace of black or yellow in them. He shook his head, wincing at the pain. Where was Dean? Dean wouldn't leave him here for three months without help. He shook his head again "Please" he said "Please can I see my brother?"

"You will have to promise me that you won't start the hysterics again" Doctor Oliver smiled thinly "I can let you go into the day room – but if you upset the patients again – you are going to have to be sedated and I don't think this constant drug use is helping you at all"

"I'll be good" Sam forced a smile. If he saw Dean, could talk to Dean, then everything would be alright.

Two orderlies, big and burly, but not unkind, let him to the day room. It was bright and cheerful, with two pool tables, a TV, several shelves of books and there was paper and crayons on every table. Sam took a seat near the book shelves and looked around. There were a few more people dressed like him in white scrubs. Some had visitors and others were watching TV or playing pool. The orderlies seemed to fade into the background and Sam was left alone with his thoughts whilst he waited for Dean.

A tall man, taller than Sam, with worried brown eyes and a harried expression entered the day room. He smiled at Sam, cautiously, running his fingers through untidy brown hair "Hey Bro" he knelt down by Sam, placing a hand on his shoulders "How are you? They told me you were feeling a little better today"

"Who the fuck are you?" Sam stared at this stranger, this giant of a man who called him bro "What have you done with Dean?"

"Come on man" the stranger looked distressed and he bent closer into Sam's personal space "We are so worried about you – you just don't seem to be getting any better – come on – you know this isn't real"

"Real?" Sam bit the inside of his mouth, trying to stay calm "This isn't real? This is just some illusion isn't it? You are playing with my mind" he cringed away as the stranger tried to touch him "You won't break me and you won't break Dean either – wherever he is"

"You've got to stop this" the man looked worried "Mom and dad are so concerned about you – hell – mom won't even come here anymore – it's too much for her"

Sam stared at the man in amazement, his heart pounding "My mom is dead you asshole – she burnt up over my crib when I was six months old. Dad died nearly a year ago after the accident" he could feel his head beginning to throb and he got up, pushing his hands against the stranger's chest "Look I don't know what you want from me – but you are not gonna get it like this – just let me go ok! Let me go – I'm not gonna play your games any longer!"

"Please" despite his extra height the stranger was terrified; he backed into the wall as Sam moved closer, pushing at him over and over. In the background he could hear the other patients begin to mumble and moan and he realised that he was causing quite a stir. There was some movement behind him and he felt one of the orderlies grip his arms whilst another was pulling out some sort of syringe. Sam began to struggle in earnest now, not wanting to be drugged again, only wanting to escape. He screamed and bit down on his lip as he felt something cold on his arm, then he felt his legs wobble and his brain let go, sending him into blissful oblivion…

When he awoke he was back on the bed; there was a sharp, acidic smell and he realised that he had wet himself. His face burnt with anger and embarrassment and he turned his face to the wall, wanting only to escape from this nightmare and get back to his brother.

Maybe Dean was dead; surely if he were alive he would have come for him by now. Sam didn't know what was real and what was illusion anymore and his head hurt so badly he wanted to be sick. He heard a whisper of movement beside him and he turned back to see the concerned face of Doctor Oliver staring at him "I told them just to sedate you this time" she said "No drugs" she saw his discomfort and smiled in sympathy "We can get you cleaned up – maybe a shower" her eyes flashed for a moment, but there was still no sign of black "Your girlfriend is here to see you – would you like that?"

"My girlfriend?" Sam shook his head – beyond panic now "My girlfriend is dead"

"No – come on now – she is very much alive and she is concerned about you – we all are" the Doctor rubbed Sam's arm reassuringly "The people who love you have spent a lot of money to make you better – you have to try and get beyond this delusion – you have to"

"Ok" Sam croaked out – wanting nothing more than to get out of his wet clothes and out of the bed "I'll see her"

The orderlies watched whilst he showered and dressed in clean scrubs. This time the meeting was in the confines of his room and he noted, with some amusement, that he was going to be restrained. He sat on the bed, one hand cuffed to the bedpost, the other resting, shaking, on his knee. He wondered what was in store for him now. Jess back from the dead maybe? Madison? Maybe even Sarah. He closed his eyes for a moment when he heard the door open and close and a voice said "Hello honey"

The woman was small and curvy; big breasted with long auburn hair and a bright perky smile. She looked nothing like Jess, more Dean's type than his, but her eyes were brown not yellow and her touch was gentle "You said I was dead" she looked sad rather than affronted "Honey – we've been together for nearly three years now – how can you not know me"

"I don't" Sam shook his head, not meaning to sound unkind "I don't know you"

"Oh baby" she shook her head "Oh baby"

"Can you help me?" Sam put his own hand over hers "Maybe get a message to Dean – I'm going crazy here – I think he might be dead"

"Dean's not real" her voice was beginning to break, the kindness giving way to a sort of shrill panic "None of it is real"

"This is not real" Sam was determined "But Dean is – our road trip – the demon – you won't break me – Dean will come"

"Oh god baby" tears were spilling now and, even if she were just an illusion, Sam felt guilty for upsetting her so much "What am I going to do? What are we going to do?"

Sam had no answer for that.

The doctor seemed to be avoiding drugging him and she spent long, endless and frustrating sessions asking him what he remembered; how long he had been on his 'road trip'; all about his dad and his mom and Jess. Sam did his best to answer her questions but he just wanted to leave, he wanted to be free and, most of all, he wanted his brother so much that it hurt.

Two weeks went by without much incident. He had no more visitors – maybe his attitude had put them off – and he was no longer restrained or sedated. He was allowed to go into the day room or even take a walk in the grounds – with the orderlies. All the time he looked for ways of escape, still not knowing if this was all in his mind or some sort of physical trap meant to trick him, make him give something away.

"You have a visitor" the doctor was smiling "I think you are going to be glad to see him"

"Dean?" he knew this wasn't the answer she wanted but she smiled at him all the same, her eyes resigned

"No" she tapped her pad "But you will want to see him"

Sam was led into the day room and he took his usual seat by the bookshelves. He had been allowed to shave and he felt better, much more like himself. The pain in his head had abated and he felt more alert than he had in ages, finally weaned off the drugs. He heard the door open and he felt his heart lurch as he watched the man walking towards him. Anxious green eyes sought him out and perfect lips broke into a smile as the man got nearer. Sam stood up, his legs shaky, sure that the whole room could hear the pounding of his heart "Dean?"

"Oh god" the man fell to his knees next to Sam and threw his arms around him. Sam felt tears wetting his tee-shirt and he leant into the hug, his own eyes burning.

"Dean? Where have you been man?" Sam was aware how choked he sounded "I've missed you"

"Come on" gentle hands pushed him away and green eyes, reddened by tears gazed at him "Come on look at me man – don't you remember – don't you remember anything"

"I…" his head was hurting again and he frowned "I was in a ghost town…the other gifted kids…they were with me" he felt sick again "Some guy – he floored me with an iron bar" a smile touched his face "I remember now Dean"

"Shit" Dean held on to his shoulders "Look at me – please – just look at me. We were filming that scene…the bastard was only meant to mime hitting you…it all went wrong…he hit you too damn hard and knocked you senseless. You were in a coma for a month man and then…" Dean was crying again and Sam gripped his arms, unable to understand. He put a tentative hand to the back of his head and felt the scars there, right under the hair. He looked up at his brother and felt his stomach roll, if only he could remember; if only he could make Dean smile again; he was crying; Dean never cried "Please – you have to remember – you're not Sam Winchester – he doesn't exist – he's a character – your character – please Jared – why can't you remember?"

Fin