Almost Enough

By:White Rain

Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless. Or the kitty ears would stay; and just the tail would go when one loses their virginity.

Genre: UST/Romance

Notes: One thing I really love about this series is that the text acknowledges that he's very much a child in so many ways; despite how sexual his relationship with Soubi is in lots of ways. The twisted-wrong/right UST between them is one of my favorite parts of their bond, and I kinda wanted to explore that. So it's also a bit of a warning, because in that aspect, the shota is played up. Although, it's only a kiss.

Pairing: Soubi/Ritsuka

Summary: Ritsuka doesn't like it when Soubi kisses him.

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Ritsuka doesn't like it when Soubi kisses him. It makes his body heat up and he's never liked heat (the real Ristuka probably does and maybe that's why it feel good). It makes his entire body feel like it has turned into an electric massager (It's what his mother needs, maybe, maybe Ritsuka can capture that feeling and give it to her). It makes a ringing sound in his ears (it's a pleasant sound and he can't place it to the real Ritsuka, but maybe just this one tiny thing was okay).

But Soubi's hand on the small of his back almost felt like a hug and it's been so long since he had a hug that wasn't from a friend. It didn't feel precisely like his mother was holding him; but then again, Ritsuka has no memories of his mother's hugs, although he thinks it's close in some ways he doesn't fully understand yet.

Even though he doesn't like heat, he likes the warmth of Soubi's body.

Ritsuka will be tall and big one day, but right now he is small and he can easily press his body against Soubi's chest and have enough room to clutch his shirt as well so that when he pushes himself as close as possible so that Soubi won't disappear, he can press all of himself onto Soubi. He doesn't have to sacrifice anything; he likes that.

He doesn't like Soubi's tongue in his mouth; but he doesn't dislike it either. He likes being that close to Soubi (Soubi inside him make goosebumps rise on his skin when he thinks about it), even though it also feel like salt in one of the wounds his mother graces him with. He thinks, in and abstract manner, that there is a different way to be this close (closer) and he'd like it better.

He doesn't like it when Soubi kisses him, but he doesn't like anything. Only when Soubi kisses him, he doesn't think that the real Ristuka would make everything better.

It's a confused rush on top of the sensations Soubi gives him (a caress or kiss it doesn't matter it makes him feel and the feeling is so bad it's good). It hurts so much, feel so right, overwhelms him so much that he forgets to hate himself for a moment.

And when he rests his head on the nape of Soubi's neck when the kiss is over and closes his eyes, he almost wants to live.