"Lily," James called softly. He didn't want her to think he was shouting her, because that was not the way to get Lily to open up. Her bedroom door was shut, so he knocked with no answer. He knocked again… and again… and again...

"Just come in, James!" she shouted.

He opened the door, and she was lying on her bed in her dressing gown, facing away from him. He went over to the bed, climbed on it and scooted close to her. He slipped his arm round her waist and pulled her close to him. She didn't resist but she didn't encourage him either, he wasn't sure if that is a good sign or not.

"Amelia is gone," James whispered into her hair.

"You didn't have to break up with her, you know. What happened earlier wasn't meant to end your relationship with her. It was just meant to get you out of my system," she says quietly.

"And did it?" asked James as he used his free hand to push her hair away from her face so that he could see her properly.

"No," was all she said.

"I meant what I said. I do still love you."

"I know."

"Do you…?"

"Yes, I still love you too," she said. Lily still hadn't looked up at James.

"Can we give it another try then?"

Lily sighed and crawled out of James' arms and got up. She walked over to the window and looked out over the Hogwarts grounds.

"Lily…" said James carefully.

"There was a reason we couldn't work the last time, and I don't think it has changed," said Lily sadly. "Have you changed?"

"I… I do still want to marry you and have kids."

"And I still don't."

"Lily…" he said painfully.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't want to have to do this again, I don't want to hurt you… I'm sorry," said Lily, and James knew immediately that she was crying.

"Come here," he mumbled. He got up and went over to her, he pulled her into his arms. He curled his index finger under her chin, and lifted her head and gently kissed her.

"It's not fair," she whispered when he pulled away.

"No it's not," he whispered back.

She turned round in his arms so she was facing him. His hazel eyes were looking at her, boring into her, trapping her. She couldn't look away even if she'd wanted to. He traced her lower lip with his thumb, lingering at the corner.

"We shouldn't really be doing this…if nothing has changed," he whispered.

"We shouldn't…" she whispered, although her eyes said something completely different.

"Just once…" he murmured. "Just one more time."

Then he covered her mouth with his. His tongue traced the seam of her lips lightly and on her gasp, used the opening to plunge in. She matched him, stroke for stroke, burrowing closer to him.

He caressed her sides, up her back, and then came down again to rest at her waist. What little mind he had left over knew he wasn't going to touch her more than that, for him to touch her more than that he needed to know that he could have her totally and completely.

But he ached to do so, it filled him. James wanted very badly to palm his hands over her tight bottom and bring her closer to show her his aroused state… he wanted to make love to her, he needed her and the thought that he would have to let her go again, almost killed him. He ended the kiss slowly and caressed her now swollen lips.

"I do love you, I always loved you. But... this is too hard. You finally get rid of the 'fluff' but still I… can't love you the way… I need to…" Lily was in tears again. She burrowed her head in the nook in his neck.

"Lily…please don't cry…" said James, feeling close to tears himself.

"Just stay a little longer please," she said, her voice muffled.

Against his better judgment James agreed. He could never deny Lily anything. The only time he hadn't done what she asked him to was when they broke up. She asked him to stay but he left. But she sounded so heartbroken, he couldn't walk away again. He knew he couldn't.

"What are we supposed to do? Just avoid each other until we leave here and then go back to never seeing each other ever again? I don't want to not see you everyday, to not wake up next to you every morning. I don't want that."

"I don't want that either," he said pulling her, if it was even possible, closer to him. He ran his hand through her hair.

"Then stay, forever. Don't ever leave me again. You used to promise me you would never leave me, please don't. I know I'm being weak and pathetic but I don't want to go back to feeling empty and alone."

"Shhhhhhh. You're not being weak or pathetic. Please don't cry, you know I hate to see you crying."

"Sorry," said Lily, wiping the tears from her face. She pulled her head off his shoulder and looked up at him.

"It's alright, you have nothing to apologise for."

"I wish I wanted the whole marriage and kids thing right now. But with the war, I just don't I can't bring a child into the world the way it is."

"It's okay, you shouldn't have to force it."

"I just don't want to lose you again," said Lily.

"I don't want to leave you again."

"Then don't."

"You don't want to marry me…"

"So. I want to be with you forever, I don't need a big party and a piece of paper to prove that."

"But I do," he said desperately. Why couldn't she understand that he wanted her to be his wife? To show everyone that they were forever, that nothing to tear them apart again. "I need the piece of paper, maybe not the big party. But I want you to be my wife. And I want my children to have my name, to be a family."

Lily hung her head. She could understand where he was coming from, she really could.

"But you don't want children ever, do you?" he asked her.

"One day, yes, I do want children. But right now with the war, I don't. I want my children to be brought up in a safe world, where we don't have to go into hiding…I don't want that. I'm not ready for that, not now anyway."

James looked down at her as if he could hardly believe his ears.

"What?" asked Lily. She didn't know why he was looking at her like that.

"Why didn't you say all this a year ago?"

"I did…I'm sure I did."

"You didn't. If you did we… I wouldn't have walked away."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean one day, when you're ready, you want kids?"

"Yes…but I…"

"Do you love me?"

"Yes."

"I mean do you really love me? Love me the way I love you?"

"I love you more than I ever knew it was possible to love someone," said Lily honestly.

"A real relationship, being a grown up where it's all about compromise."

"James…"

"Marry me?" said James. He lifted Lily's head and looked her straight in the eye. "You say you want to be together forever. Prove it. Marry me!"

"James…"

"No, just hear me out," he said desperately. "It doesn't have to be a huge, big thing. We can do it in the backyard in jeans for all I care. But please marry me. Let's show everyone that we are forever. That we are a family of two. We don't have to try for kids until you are good and ready. I will never pressure you into having a baby. I just need the promise that one day we will have a family."

"You thought… I didn't want to ever…?"

"I did. So what do you say? I know you don't need the piece of paper, but I do. So do this for me and I will spend the rest of my life loving you the way you deserve to be loved, and I will never leave you ever again."

'I do want to be with him forever. I guess marriage has never been important to me, but it is to him. It wouldn't hurt to get married I suppose it wouldn't change things between us, we would still be us. But if this is what he need, then I'll do it.'

"Okay."

"Okay? Did you just say okay?"

"I did," said Lily, grinning like an idiot and nodding her head.

"You'll marry me?"

"I will."

"WHOOOO HOOOO!" James whooped, picking Lily up and spinning her round.

"Mrs. Lily Potter…" James said, savoring the sound of it and smiling. "It has a certain ring to it."