Nothing And No-one.

'I thought I could trust you…'

Mickey growled in frustration and screwed the paper he'd been writing on, tossing it into the bin by the side of his desk.

'You said you loved me!'

He stopped again and sighed, shaking his head. The old Mickey would have taken the pain out on someone else by now, but he knew he had to hold it back. Hold it in? Maybe. How would that help anyone? He had a temper, that was well known, but he'd promised Jack that he'd try and keep his head down, if only for the sake of his job.

Ah yes. His job. The job he was still lucky to have after his earlier explosion at Heaton. Mickey didn't care, as far as he was concerned Heaton was lucky to get off with just the one punch, if Jack and Mia hadn't been there, god knows where he would have stopped, if he had been able to stop at all.

It wasn't so long back that he'd promised Jack he'd stop burning the candle at both ends. Check. He'd done that. He'd promised to get things back on track with Mia. Check. Gradually let her in. Check. Explain why he was so scared of letting people in. Check. The only thing was he hadn't expected her to conveniently forget that and jump straight onto the first bloke that paid her any attention.

… Okay. So maybe that was unfair, but wasn't what Mia had done the same? He'd let her in and told her in graphic detail about his past, about Delaney, Liz, Chandler… even Kate. She'd repaid him by breaking his heart just when he'd thought things were finally looking up and that he deserved to be happy again.

He'd heard her argument before. 'What about Steph?' … What about Steph? He knew it was largely the same, but in the same way it well… wasn't. He'd apologised and explained that it was mostly because of Fern and what had happened with Tom. He had to protect his friend and himself, and yes – in hindsight – it wasn't the best way to do it. Despite his feelings for Mia, Mickey knew he had a hidden self destruct button. The second he felt himself falling for a girl since Liz, he had to press it, if only to stop himself getting hurt again. He'd connected with Steph, he liked that she knew nothing about him, she liked him for him, rather than looking at him with that self pitying look that most had when around him. He'd taken advantage of the situation and enjoyed spending time with her, even sleeping with her.

After the rape allegation and set up, Mickey had done a lot of growing up. He'd evaluated what he had – and what he'd lost - and set about making things better again. Taking advice from Kezia about women, he'd started spending time with Mia again. He'd refused Carrie's offer of payment in kind for the help he'd given her and explained, as gently as he could, that he was her friend and nothing more. He'd left that night and gone back down to Mia, taking her off for a romantic night together, just the two of them. His Mia. His girlfriend. Maybe even his future wife, as much as he tried to kid himself that he hadn't thought that far, he had. He believed he'd had it made and finally found the right girl, someone he could have taken home to meet his mum.

But now? Now he resigned himself to just what he felt he deserved. Nothing. No-one. After all, Mickey reasoned, there had to be a reason why everyone he loved left him, didn't there? Mia, Kate, Liz, all of them betraying him in some form or other, despite their reasoning. Then there was his mum. She'd come to visit him and then what had happened? She'd been killed by a hit and run driver before he'd even had the chance to see her! Something else he perceived as his fault. His fault she was in Canley, his fault she was out and not at home…

Mickey knew that for now at least, the only thing that would be waiting for him after a hard day was an empty house and the bottom of a whiskey bottle.

Nothing and no-one. Just what he believed he deserved.