Author: ecrevain anonyme

Disclaimer: CSI doesn't belong to me.

Characters: Catherine/Gil

Spoiler: everybody has their secrets, now its no secret anymore

Summary: Gil has Sara, Catherine has none, but Brass wants her

Chapter 8: Killing Them

"Catherine would you please calm down…"Jim said to Catherine who's been walking back and forth in the hallway waiting for the operation to be over.

"…just relax, everything will be fine." though he knew it was not true. Grissom bleed profusely on his right shoulder. Catherine, who was still ignoring the Captain, was grabbed by Jim and was led gently to her seat.

"What's taking them so long?"

"I think you should go home. You look tired" Jim said, ignoring Catherine's question. Catherine looked at him with sharp eyes.

"Well look who's talking." She replied. Jim decided to shut his mouth and just silently and patiently, wait for Catherine to finally decide to go home. Tiredness had finally struck the blonde woman. So she rested her head on Jim's shoulder while he responded with an embrace. He was thinking of buying a coffee to keep her awake but he changed his mind. 'This is good' he said to himself.

After an hour of waiting, the surgeon finally came out from the Operating room. Catherine woke up and rubbed her eyes.

"Are you Dr. Grissom's wife?" the surgeon asked Catherine. Flattering as it may seem, Catherine tried to look as if it does not matter to her and juts showed an inch of smile.

"No, she's just a friend." Jim immediately responded.

"Oh I'm sorry. Dr. Grissom has loss so mush amount of blood. It would be best to find a donor as soon as possible."

Without any second thought, Catherine volunteered to be the donor since they both have the same blood type. Jim looked at her and saw the eagerness to save her friend. He wondered is Catherine would do the same thing for him if he was in Grissom's condition.

"Good. You'll just need to fill up some forms." The doc said and went back to the OR.

It was a day of mourning…

A day of sadness…

A day where everyone was gathered….

To celebrate to the life that Sara shared with her friend and loved ones…

And to give tribute to the memories she had left behind…

…it was an emotional day…especially for Grissom.

Almost everyone had left the cemetery, including Nick, who let out a tear while giving his eulogy. Grissom remained standing beside Sara's grave, with Catherine next to him.

As Brass leaves the area, he looked back and saw Catherine held Grissom's hand while rubbing his back. He knew that Grissom needed someone beside him, someone who'll share his sorrow and give him strength and comfort. He knew Catherine can give it to Grissom. Only Catherine, and that's what's killing him inside.

"I made a mistake." Grissom said without giving Catherine an eye contact. Catherine looked at him with confusion.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"She doesn't deserve me."

Catherine did not respond. In fact, she does not know what to say. So, she silently listened to Grissom.

"I should have told her, that I did love her. I should have given her my time, but I didn't. I was too blind, too busy…too selfish. And now…it's over…she's gone…and I did not have the chance to say goodbye to her." Sensing that his tears were about to fall from his eyes, Grissom turned his back on Catherine. He does not want any body see him cry or seen by Catherine for that matter. Catherine smiled, sensing Grissom's shyness. She rubbed her hands on his back.

"I guess we all learned a lesson…" Catherine said. Grissom wiped his tears and looked over his shoulder and waited for Catherine to tell what that lesson was.

"…learn to appreciate what you have, before time forces you to appreciate what you had." Grissom knew she was right. If there was something he still does not know despite his intelligence, it was appreciation. He now knew that he must learn it, and he must learn it as soon as possible.

"I guess there are lessons that cannot be found in books." He said.

"Yes, and we usually learn them the hard way." Catherine added. They both looked and smiled at each other. They both felt a little happiness in their hearts. They were glad they finally had chance to have a nice chat together, only the two of them. The chance they did not have after their incident in the locker room.

The sun had finally gone away, and they both decided to go to Grissom's place and have dinner. After a very delicious dinner, courtesy of Catherine, they sat on the couch remembering their times with Sara. Catherine can only remember the times they had inside the lab or at the crime scene. Grissom on the other hand, shared so many good times that they had. Catherine felt the happiness that Grissom felt while narrating his stories with Sara.

As she listens, she felt something inside of her. A feeling that she wished would never feel. While Gil continued his story telling, Catherine, on the other hand, wished that it was her sharing those memories with him. And it's killing her to know that it was not her, but Sara.

Tears started to fall from her eyes as she began to realize the jealousy inside her. Not realizing. The true meaning of Catherine's tears, Grissom gave her a hug. The feeling of them closer to each other like never before was priceless. As both of them wrapped their arms to each other, their hearts beat faster.

Both of their eyes were closed as they held each other tighter. Heat started to rise inside their veins and Catherine feared that their current situation might end up into something they might regret. At that moment, she remembered Brass, and what might happen if he saw them in that situation. She broke the feeling and pulled her body away from him, yet, Grissom quickly held her face with both his hand. Cupping and caressing both of her cheeks. And they both stared at each other, trying to sense who would give in and give a passionate kiss.

The moment of silence was broken by a ring from Catherine's phone. "Oh, shit!" Grissom accidentally said with annoyance. Good thing for him, Catherine was not able to hear it.

"It's Jim" Catherine said in which Grissom gave a "why am I not surprised" nod. After hanging the phone up, Catherine placed the gadget on her lap and gave Grissom a smile.

"He was checking to see if I was okay…."

'Now why would he check on her, does he think I'm going to do something bad to her?' Grissom thought.

"…and was asking if I want him to pick me up and drive me home."

"What did you say?" Grissom asked, pretending that he did not hear her response to Jim.

"I told him that I'll be staying here for the night."

Catherine wanting to stay beside him made him happy and contented. But he knew she needs to go home, maybe because he knew that he might do something he'll regret if she will stay any longer. Though he does not want to, he suggested that Catherine should go home and take arrest. Catherine refused, yet, he insisted.

"Let me take you home." He insisted.

Inside the car, Grissom and Catherine were both in awkward mode. Catherine, still confused with her feelings, was trying to repress her what ever feeling she had at that moment with the man driving next to her. But all she can think about was the moment they had on the couch and the kiss they shared in the locker room.

'Oh Catherine, what are you thinking?' she asked herself.

Gil Grissom was not giving the road his full attention because his mind was filled with curiosity, curious about what Catherine was thinking at that moment. Hoping that listening to a radio might help distract her from thinking of him, Catherine turned it on. But little did she know that it was a bad idea. As they make their way to Catherine's house, the song made the atmosphere inside the car worse, as it goes:

I look at her and have to smile
as we go driving for a while
Looking nowhere in the open window of my car
and as we go the traffic lights
Watch them glimmer in her eyes
in the darkness of the evening

Grissom listened to the song and quickly glanced at Catherine wondering if she was also paying attention to the lyrics of the song. And she was.

And I've got all that I need
Right here in the passenger seat
Oh and I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me

After hearing those lines, Grissom smiled. Those lines were the exact feeling he was having right that very minute. Catherine, on the other hand, wondered if Grissom was feeling the same thing with the man singing the song.

We stop to get something to drink
my mind pounds and I can't think
Scared to death to say I love her

'Are you?' Catherine looked at Grissom to find the answer to her question.

Then a moon peeks from the clouds
Hear my heart that beats so loud
Try to tell her simply

That I've got all the I need
Right here in the passenger seat
Oh and I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me

Oh and I know this love grow…

"Yes it will…" Grissom again, accidentally spoke his thoughts out loud and this time, Catherine heard it. She turned to him with a surprised look. Grissom pretending he was concentrating on the road was sweating though the air condition was in full blast.

Oh I've got all the I need
Right here in the passenger seat
Oh and I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me

And I've got all that I need
Right here in the passenger seat

No one would want or even dare to turn the radio off because they knew that it was the perfect song that describes what they were feeling at that time.

They were both relieved when they finally reached Catherine's place. Catherine was surprised to see her mother still awake and running towards her with a big smile on her face.

"You've got a visitor" her mother said. Catherine wondered who on earth would visit her at that time of the night.

Then came out of the door was Jim Brass with a big smile and a bouquet of flowers on his hand. 'Humph! Show off.' Grissom said to himself.

"I wanted to stay until you arrive home safely." He said and gave Catherine a kiss on the cheek which made Catherine's mother giggle like a school girl.

"Look what he gave to me" Catherine's mother showed everyone Jim's gift to her.

"Hey, how come I've got flowers?" Catherine jokingly said. 'Kiss ass.' Grissom thought.

"He is such a sweet man, isn't he?" the mother asked Grissom.

"Yes he is." He responded dryly. Jim wondered if Grissom really mean what he said.

"Well, I better go."

"Thank you Gil." Catherine said while she was being embraced by Brass. Grissom smiled in return and gave Jim a nod and received the same thing from the Captain.

"We better go back inside, it's cold out here." Brass said. As the three of them enter the house and as Grissom enters his car, he looked back at them. And he saw Jim holding Catherine tightly in his arms and gave her a kiss on her forehead in which he can see that she liked it.

He sat inside the car for a while, as he realized that all he had were gone. Sara is gone, and now his chance with Catherine was also gone, and that's what's killing him the most.

Finally!! I'm done with Chapter 8...sorry for the long wait. I was having a hard time thinking of what should happen after Sara's death. Now I know how the story will end and who will Catherine end up with. Thanx for the good reviews!!