ELCL
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's note: A plot rabbid attacked me. Had to get this down. Starts just after the 7th angel attacks.
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Katsuragi/Ikari/Soryu residence:
It was a fairly normal day in the apartment, Shinji listening to his SDAT player, Asuka out shopping, and Misato relatively drunk while skipping out on some paperwork by watching TV.
"Hey, Shin-kun." the purple haired one called out. "Come here, there's a show you should watch."
Sighing, the third child turned off his music, wondering what kind of perverted or stupid show his guardian wanted him to watch now. Stepping into the living room he asked "What's it called?"
She smiled. "FLCL! It's a pre-impact anime. It's really funny. Come on! You know you want to watch!"
Sighing again, Shinji sat down next to his guardian, figuring that it would do no harm to watch a single episode of anime. 'Who knows,' he thought, 'might do me some good.'
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"So, was it worth watching for thirty minutes?" the elder of the two asked.
Shinji 'Hmmmed', weighing his responses. "I guess it was pretty entertaining. But pretty stupid at the same time.". He paused, giving himself a few seconds to think. "Maybe even stupid enough to work!"
"Huh?" Misato blinked. Did Shinji the shy and introvertent just say that part of a ridiculous anime could work?
"Misato, does NERV have any plans in place for an angel that's falling from space?"
"Um, no, why?"
"Then I guess we've just come up with one." Shinji said with a smile. "Here's what we do..."
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Ritsuko stared at the two people in front of her like they were insane. At this point, it was a definite possibility.
"This plan is ludicrous! I could expect something like this coming from Misato. But from you, Shinji? This is insane!"
"Come on Rits-chan! We don't have any other plan for that situation. Can't you at least consider it?"
"Fine, only for you Misato, I'll let the Magi take a look at it. It'll definitely be a negative response though."
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"I can't believe it."
"Woah, 100 chance of success? Wow."
"Guess you are going to be building it after-all Ritsuko-san."
"I guess so. I'll try to keep the commander from finding out." 'Mom, why did you make the Magi such Otakus?'
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A few months and 2 angels later came the chance for Shinji's idea to come to fruitation. It came in the form of the tenth angel. Misato gave the briefing.
"Alright, listen up. We've got an explosive angel coming down from space to try to blow us all up. Normally we'd send all of you pilots out to catch it, but as it stands all we need for this mission is Shinji and Unit1.". Finishing her sentence Misato braced herself for the coming storm.
And it did come. "What! You're putting Baka-Shinji out there to take care of this thing when it's obvious that I could do much better?!?" screamed out the irrate German.
"What logic is there behind sending pilot Ikari out alone when sending all three eva's would be logical?" asked Rei, in her usual quiet tone.
Misato opened her mouth to reply, bur was cut off by Ritsuko. "We've run a simulation through the Magi, with each of you enacting the plan we've laid out. Asuka got a 75 chance of success, apparently because of her drive to succeed. Rei got a 50 chance, as the Magi were unsure of whether or not Unit 0 could handle the strain. They gave Shinji..." she paused for dramatic effect, "...200 chance of success."
"WHAT?!?" screamed the redhead, her eyes wide, her mouth hanging open.
"What?" asked Rei, her head cocked to the side like a puppy's.
Ritsuko smiled before continuing. "Well, they took into account the nature of our enemy, Unit 1's combat record, where the plan came from, and how Shinji was the one who originally came up with the plan. They also added a bit because, and I quote, 'Just because it's Shinji'. Don't blame me, blame the Magi."
"Anyways," Misato butted in, "Shinji has to report to the eva cages, and you two can observe from the bridge with the rest of us."
Everyone started to go where they needed to, Asuka muttering curses in German under her breath. Then a single thought came to her. "You never told us what the plan even was!"
Misato and Ritsuko turned to each other and then to Asuka, sharing a creepy smile.
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"Alright Shinji, we're sending you the weapon you designed now." came Ritsuko's voice over the com link.
In the command centre Asuka was, once again, furious. "The baka get's a new weapon and we don't?"
Even the commander looked over at the doctor. "Why was I not informed of this?"
The Doctor smiled. "For a very simple reason. The Magi decided that you would try to scrap the project if you found out about it. I myself was sceptacle about it at first."
"Doctor, let me make myself very clear. If you ever try to hide something from me again, consider your employment here terminated." Gendo said in a very creepy tone.
Ritsuko was about to say something back, but was cut off by an energetic reply from Shinji.
"Wow Ritsuko! It's even better than I asked for!"
The entire bridge crew, the commander, and the pilots turned to the screen showing Unit 1.
There was an almost collective drop of jaws. (Ritsuko and Misato were prepared, so weren't shocked. Rei only opened her mouth in shock, which was an equivalent of dropping her jaw)
Unit 1 was standing in the middle of Tokyo 3 with an eva sized guitar in it's hands.
Misato gave the orders. "The Magi have calculated the angel's projected landing zone. Head to the co-ordinates and prepare to proceed with plan FLCL."
"Roger that."
A minute later Shinji had the eva on the highest hill in the area, staring at the massive red shape falling towards him. Misato's voice came over the com. "Swing batta batta batta! Swing batta!"
Shinji obeyed, bringing the guitar up like a baseball bat. Judging the distances, Shinji waited for the angel to come close enough to hit.
He swung.
"Iiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttt'ssssssss OUTA HERE!" chorused Misato and Ritsuko, as the entire staff of NERV watched the angel fly away, becoming a speck in the sky, before there was a 'shing' and a brief shine. They could almost swear they heard "Team Rocket's blasting off again" from the angel.
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In the coming months it was discovered that Pluto had been struck by the angel, causing it to cease existing.
There was one major change in the time-line because of Shinji's actions. When the fifteenth angel tried to mind rape Asuka, it came upon the memory of the tenth angel 'battle', and was unable to continue due to breaking out in laughter.
Twenty years later and it was showing no signs of stopping.
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Ending notes: Yes, I did something small here. The plot assaulted me, and wouldn't stop bugging me until I wrote it. Hope you like it.