Title: I Spy
Universe: XXXholic
Theme/Topic: N/A
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing/s: Doumeki, Watanuki
Warnings/Spoilers: Spoilers through Vol 9 about? Also, OOC and CRACK.
Word Count: 1,040
Summary: Watanuki and Doumeki sometimes see the same things. Watanuki tries to clarify the circumstances.
Dedication: kshi- HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I don't know if this is anywhere near what you would have wanted but you know, I am severely lacking in creativity lately and threw this together far too quickly to be any good.
A/N: You know I haven't read any later chapters (if there are any) so I don't know if the terms of the whole swap between the two of them has had any parameters made regarding the rules yet. So I'm just kind of going by the seat of my pants here. If I'm wrong…well, it's never stopped me before. XD;;
Disclaimer: Not mine, though I wish constantly.
Distribution: Just lemme know.

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"I have a question to ask you!" Watanuki demanded suddenly one afternoon, right there in the middle of the street as they were walking home from Yuuko's. The smaller boy's cheeks were flushed and when he tried to sound annoyed and authoritative on the matter he came off as embarrassed and angry instead.

Doumeki wasn't surprised either way though; he'd already known that the other boy had a question to ask him since about lunch that day, because Watanuki Kimihiro had the annoying habit of muttering to himself and looking sideways at a person for hours beforehand whenever there was something of a sensitive nature on his mind regarding that person. So when Watanuki finally deigned to speak about it (rather loudly at that), Doumeki supposed that it was only natural that it would come out in that way with that tone in the middle of the street, because the way he saw it, Kimihiro was a bit like a very active volcano. Once the pressure from within became unbearable and the shorter boy couldn't stand listening to his own internal speculations regarding whatever the matter was that was bothering him anymore, he would simply explode wherever he was, whatever he was doing, whoever he was with.

Today, it just so happened to be right there in the middle of the street as they were walking back from Yuuko's. And the words—like lava—kept pouring out of Watanuki's mouth without end until he was done.

"And since it's kind of a sensitive question, you have to promise not to be a dick about it when I ask! Also, you cannot speak another word of this to anyone anywhere because it is so mortifying that you probably can't even comprehend how amazingly mortifying it is in the first place, it's that mortifying."

Doumeki just looked at him.

Watanuki glared. "Okay. Good that you agree. So nice of you, really. Anyway. Right. I was wondering. And remember, don't be a dick about this… I know it's hard for you, but try, okay? Um… h-have you er, have you ever seen me naked?"

Doumeki blinked, because while he had been expecting some kind of ridiculous question from Watanuki (as his questions invariably were), he hadn't quite been expecting that ridiculous question from Watanuki. "Come again?"

Watanuki was quick to turn accusatory. "I told you not to be a dick!"

Doumeki sighed. "I don't understand the question. And wouldn't you know if I've ever seen you naked?"

"Why would I know that?!"

"I don't have a habit of peeping on people."

"Well I don't know that either! But that's not what I meant! Stop being perverted."

Doumeki was about to point out that it was Watanuki who'd brought up nudity in the first place, but people on the streets around them were already stopping to stare, and Watanuki screaming some more indignant rage in front of them probably wouldn't help the situation any.

Watanuki noticed their audience about a second or two after Doumeki did, and embarrassed, he hunched his shoulders and lowered his voice to a hissed whisper. "Look! What I meant was… well…" he gestured to his eye, "sometimes you can see what I see, right?"

Doumeki was pretty sure that question was rhetorical, so he didn't respond.

Watanuki didn't wait for his response anyway. "So… when I'm in the shower and stuff, can you sometimes… you know…see…stuff/"

Doumeki blinked. "I thought I could only see things when you get worked up…" he trailed off. Blinked again. "What are you trying to say about yourself here?"

"Nothing perverted!" Watanuki shrieked under his breath when he saw the expression (or rather, the variation-of-a-default-expression) on the other boy's face. "I mean… I was in the shower the other day and washing my hair and not anything else and I got shampoo in my—our— eye and I shouted and it hurt, and after I got it all washed out I thought, 'wait… what if he saw that just now? While I was in the shower?!' After that I got kind of paranoid and so for future reference I would just like to make the boundaries of this whole sharing-an-eye and you-see-what-I-see-when-I'm-worked-up thing very clear so that I can take my showers in peace from here on out, okay? That's it!"

That seemed like a lot of 'it' to take in all at once.

Doumeki looked thoughtful.

After a while, he very sensibly said, "I don't know."

Watanuki forgot to keep quiet. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?!"

"I remember my eye itching for a second last night," Doumeki admitted.

Watanuki looked horrified.

Doumeki pushed on. "But it might have been dust. I was helping my mom wipe down the top shelves in the kitchen because she can't reach them." Pause. "So I don't know."

Watanuki slapped a hand to his forehead. "Well then it's clearly no, right? Because I was horrified and yet you didn't see anything so…"

"I thought you said you were kind of paranoid."

Watanuki blinked.

"Earlier. When you were explaining, you specifically said 'kind of' in terms of your paranoia."

"What does that have to do with anything?!"

Doumeki hoped he didn't have to remind the idiot about the power of words.

Watanuki scowled after a minute. "What are you trying to say exactly?"

"That maybe you just weren't paranoid enough for me to see anything."

"WHAT?!"

Doumeki shrugged. "It's just a theory. So next time don't get any more paranoid than you were last night and it should probably be fine."

Watanuki stared. Frowned. "Yeah I guess that…"

Pause.

"WAIT NOW I'LL GET PARANOID ABOUT BEING TOO PARANOID. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL ME THAT?!"

Across the street, a small child started crying and pointing at the scary man. Her mother grabbed her hand, gave a few dirty backwards looks at Doumeki and Watanuki, and hastily fled the scene.

Watanuki didn't notice.

"OH MY GOD," he wailed, and looked absolutely ashen at the thought, "I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO SHOWER AGAIN BECAUSE NOW I WILL BE SCARED THAT YOU CAN SEE BECAUSE I'M BEING TOO SCARED THAT YOU MIGHT SEE. THAT IS SO SCREWED UP."

Doumeki just sighed and kept walking. "I'll buy you shower shorts."

END