Author's Note: I wrote this a few weeks ago and it's centered around what has happened on the show recently, and I'm finally getting around to posting it now after Patrick has found out the truth. Oops. But I hope you guys like it all the same... I was watching some random clips on YT and I got this idea... Nothing too fancy. Please, if you read, tell me what you thought. I would really appreciate it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
--
Ironic
Sometimes you do things to protect those that you love, things that you really don't want to do or things that those you are protecting really don't understand.
Robin Scorpio stood in the chilly air of night, looking out into the water in the distance. So many years ago she'd spent the better part of her time in this very place. She'd come here after losing Stone to feel closer to him, to ask him for help and to give her some kind of advice on how to go on, to live without him. Now, ten years later she was back, only this time, her thoughts were filled with the new love in her life, the man who in her adult years showed her what it was like to live and love with everything you have. She'd loved and lost twice before and when Patrick stumbled into her life over a year ago, she wasn't looking to find love again. She thought herself lucky to have loved two men and to have them feel the same way in return; she thought maybe she'd had all of the happiness she would find in her lifetime. They challenged each other, knowing the best that the other was capable of and forced them to live up to that potential. They fought for their convictions and they refused to believe there could be anything more than a strained friendship between them, but they were proven wrong. Although they weren't expecting to experience such emotions, they fell in love. They survived unthinkable, unimaginable terrors and only managed to come out stronger on the other side. Hell, just a few weeks ago, they'd lived through another nightmare; neither one completely sure if they would ever even speak again or in the worst case scenario, even get to say goodbye. But they did and they only proved once more the love they shared was stronger than either one thought. They professed their feelings, they laughed, they cried, and they held each other.
She wiped at the tears that formed in her eyes, remembering how far they had come in such a short time. It wasn't long ago that he was feeding her his lame come-ons and she was shooting down his every advance. It wasn't that long ago that she took the initiative and kissed him first, in the middle of the hospital lobby. She remembered their first date and how she'd fought him every bit of the way and only ended up having one of the best nights of her life that evening. She remembered being so terrified for him when he cut himself with the infected needle, and being there to comfort him when he showed his true vulnerability on the docks, crying real tears because of his fear. He'd been the one to say those three little words first, and he didn't give up when she ran away. He stood outside the Metro Court for hours while her life hung in the balance, and he walked an intern through a surgery, his mind full of the worst case scenario… He'd saved her life. She was standing on that bridge at this very moment because of him.
And she'd only managed to ruin their relationship, break his trust, and damage every good memory they shared together.
This wasn't supposed to happen. They weren't supposed to be so broken. They were supposed to be laughing and watching a movie right now, cuddled up on the couch waiting for her Uncle Mac to come home to kick him out. Or they were supposed to be cuddled together, keeping each other warm in their huge bed at night. He used to make fun of her because she would open the window in their bedroom, on the coldest nights just so she could snuggle closer to him later when she felt that sudden chill.
And now they were barely speaking, and when they did, they reverted back to the same old snark. Only this time is wasn't filled with playful innuendo, the sexual tension between them almost too unbearable. No, now the words spoken were empty and cold and spoken in hopes of hurting the other.
"Things would be different," she thought to herself, "if you hadn't been so stubborn."
She was so angry with herself for yet again letting her insecurities come between them. She'd been hurt when he left for Vegas with Pete, although she'd forgiven him she'd hadn't forgotten. She still remembered the emptiness in the pit of her stomach as she watched him walk out the door, and when the time came for her to return home with him, after spending a few weeks with her Uncle recuperating, she couldn't bring herself to forget that pain and return back to their--his apartment.
Somehow, when just a few days before they were talking about their future and confessing how much they loved each other, they ended their relationship. Complete with tears and angry words and bitter feelings.
This leading her to this familiar place. She'd lost yet another man she loved.
"Robin?" She jumped when the familiar man spoke. She'd once considered this man a brother, and he'd once known her better than most. Compared to then, now they were practically strangers.
"Sonny," She wiped at her eyes quickly, trying to hide any trace of her tears, but she wasn't quick enough.
"What's wrong?" He stepped forward and was surprised when she stepped away from him. The two had only spoken a few times in the while she'd been back in town, both now living different lives with different people. But looking at her now, tear streaks staining her cheeks, her tiny body shaking from the cold, he was reminded of the seventeen year old little sister that he promised to protect and who he'd failed miserably.
"It's nothing, really." She tried to shrug off the obvious pain she was feeling.
"Robin…"
"Sonny, really it's nothing." She snapped at him. She hated the pity she heard in his voice, the regret. Things changed, people changed. They'd changed but now of all nights, was not the time to bring up those old emotions. She couldn't handle that right now.
"Well something is obviously bothering you, and if you don't want to tell me I'll just look for Patrick and make him tell me." The older man gave a slight smile, jumping to conclusions.
"Leave Patrick out of this." She snipped. "Just leave Patrick the hell alone."
Sonny was taken aback, surprised by her outburst and the tears that once again shown in her eyes. It was obvious; however, that she held no blame on the man she loved now, but something was obviously wrong. "Hey, what's wrong? What has you so upset?"
If this were any other moment, if she were talking to Sonny anywhere else but here, she would have been able to lie to him. She would have told him the same thing that she told everyone else, keeping up the charade. "Please, Sonny, just leave it alone."
She moved to walk past him but he grabbed her arm, "I'm not going to leave this alone. You are obviously upset and I want to help you."
"You can't help me, okay? No one can help me."
She turned away from him once more, again facing out towards the water already knowing she would never get past him and to her car. She would just have to wait it out, he would have to leave eventually and she certainly wasn't in any hurry to get back to Wyndemere.
The older man tried once more, "Where is Patrick?"
She stiffed noticeably at the sound of his name and she had to force her tears down. This was her chance. She could tell Sonny what was going on, he would help her and she could stop living in this nightmare. But if she told Sonny, she would be putting Nikolas's life in danger, and she couldn't do that. "I don't know." She gave a vague reply.
"Okay… did the two of you have a fight?"
A fight? She wished that was all that had happened. She wished this was just another one of their stupid, petty fights and she could go home to their—his apartment and they could spend the night making up for all of the stupid hurtful things they'd said to each other in the heat of the moment. But she hadn't stepped foot in that apartment in weeks now and she was sure if she showed up, he would close the door in her face. "I'll save you some time…" Her voice was cold, bitter, angry. "Patrick and I broke up." With those last words her voice cracked and she was once again fighting an inner battle with herself to stop her tears.
Sonny stood in silence, shocked. They may not have spoken much in the last decade but he'd made a promise to Stone that he would protect her, and just because she was back in Port Charles, closer to him rather than a couple hundred miles away, didn't mean he would stop. There normally wasn't a day that went by that he didn't hear how her life was going, making sure she was protected. And he knew first hand just how in love the young couple had been, so why had things ended and why so suddenly?
"What happened?"
"I don't really want to talk about it." Avoidance; at least that way she didn't have lie.
Sonny stood silent for a moment, considering his options. "Okay, fine. You don't want to talk about Patrick, then let's talk about Stone…"
"No, let's not talk about Stone. Let's not talk at all. It's worked really well for us over the past ten years Sonny, let's just go back to that."
He grabbed her arm when she tried to pass him again, "Don't stop now. Let it all out." He spoke simply, like he still knew her so well.
"I can't Sonny! I can't tell you about anything that is going on right now. I can't tell you and I can't tell Patrick, I can't tell anyone anything." She wrapped her arms around herself, as if trying to block out the pain, as if she was trying to shield herself from the emotion that was bound to come if she allowed herself to open up to Sonny, to a man who played such a large part in her past and was trying to be apart of her life in the present.
"Whether you can't tell me or whether you are choosing not to, you know whatever you say I won't judge you." He spoke softly, trying to comfort her.
"Have you ever done something without thinking about how it would affect the other people in your life and you ended up hurting the person you love most, even though all you were trying to do was protect them?"
He thought back to his many mistakes, the many times he'd made decisions for others without consulting them and then expected them to go along with anything that he said, because he was trying to protect them. "Yeah."
"When all is said and done, how do you make them understand that you only did what you thought was best for them, but gave them no say in the matter?" She thought about her decision to lie to him, to risk his heart and his feelings by pretending to love someone; by pretending that she didn't love him enough.
"Obviously, I don't know the situation. I don't know what you have lied about or what secret you could possibly be keeping, but whatever it is; it's obviously eating at you." He paused, "If you have done something to cause your relationship to end with Patrick and you're afraid of what he will think when the situation is over, you are obviously thinking with your head and not your heart. I have seen you with him and I have heard you talk about him. I've seen your eyes light up when you are around him or when someone brings him up in conversation. Even now, when things are obviously strained between the two of you, it's obvious how much he means to you." He moved to stand in front of her, "I'm not exactly the best at giving advice or taking it for that matter," he was thankful to see a small glimpse of a smile from her, "but I see the conflict in your eyes and I see how torn you are. You are fighting a losing battle between your head and your heart, and you aren't following the one you should be.
"Obviously, you are involved in something serious enough that you are willing to sacrifice the happiness you have longed for, for years and that is an admirable quality. But remember, Patrick can protect himself. I've learned the hard way what comes from controlling people lives. Don't do what I did; it's a lonely all by yourself."
He leaned in awkwardly, placing a gently kiss on her cheek before walking away to leave her to her thoughts once more.
He wondered what Stone would think. Would he think she was doing the right thing or would he agree with Patrick? If Stone was in Patrick's place would she keep this a secret from him or would she tell him the truth? What about Jason? Did she actually believe this was the right thing to do or was she just trying to stay in control when everything around her was running hay-wire?
She didn't have the answers to these questions because Stone wasn't around anymore and he never would be again, and Patrick wasn't Jason or Stone. He was a different man, with a different heart and he loved her like no one else ever had. Maybe that was it; maybe she was just trying to hold onto his love, unwilling to let it go. The ironic thing? In trying to hold onto him, she may have lost him forever.