Cross Eyed
By Moonlit Eyes
Warnings: Shounen-ai (Still don't why I bother with this warning, I mean really I nearly gag writing "hetero" stuff. Heteros are so weird sometimes…quotes the bi girl), Crossdressing (it came to me in a dream), and Yamasuke. Why is the last a warning? Because it's so rare that I felt it was necessary.
A/N: I'm having the worst writer's block with my other fics…but this one has been stuck in my head, beginning to end. It'll be short and sweet. And no, Daisuke will only act like a girl when he looks like one. Crossdresser and gay don't mean acting like the very definition of annoying uke. I crossdress as a boy sometimes but really when I'm not I'm possibly one of the girliest girls you'll ever meet…except for the pink, can't do the pink thing.
Disclaimer: This is just habit. I don't own Digimon. It's owned by many other people and they screwed up the ending. That's all.
When Daisuke was ten, he snuck into Jun's room to pull a prank on her. It was tradition in the Motomiya household after all. Every one of their birthdays, the two siblings would do their very best to get one over each other. That particular day was big sister's birthday and Daisuke had it all planned out. Of course, the plan didn't go quite right because of a certain item he had found.
It was hidden in the back of the closet, though not on purpose. Jun had a tendency to place all the clothes she didn't want to wear anymore aside. It wasn't very special, to be honest. Just a plain green dress that she'd begun to outgrow and forgot all about. He still doesn't know what was interesting about it. He just knows that it was love at first sight. The prank was left in place more hastily than intended (a bottle of washable brown ink that would spill when she opened her closet) and the dress was carefully tucked away in his shirt.
For two months the dress hung in back of his own closet. The wrinkles it had were now gone and a small tear had been fixed after a long night of ironing and mending. Every night before bed he would sit on his floor and look up at it, confused as to why he was so fascinated with it in the first place. Before this, girlish things would gross him out or even embarrass him. But not this.
It was a quiet night alone when staring became not enough. His parents were out and his sister was still at a friend's place. He had carefully, almost as if in worship, stripped down to his boxers and slipped the dress over his head. He was in awe. The material was soft and he twirled in front of a mirror, watching in delight as the garment swirled about his legs when he stopped. He felt himself giggling as excitement filled him. He suddenly wasn't Daisuke Motomiya, loud mouthed class clown. He was someone new, a stranger. It was fun. The clock ticked away but he didn't notice, too busy wrapped up in pretend as he stood in front of the bathroom mirror and played with Mommy's lipsticks and eye shadow. He didn't hear the door open. Didn't hear the footsteps.
But he did hear the gasp.
"Daisuke, what are you doing in my dress?"
And the world of pretend was crashed by reality. He had stood there in complete shock, unable to say a word as he stared at his sister. She was going to be disgusted. She was going to yell at him. Worse yet, she was going to tell their parents.
"Come here," she said quietly and then he was shocked for another reason. Instead of doing what she thought (no, wait, what he thought), Jun wiped away the badly applied cosmetics and helped him undress. She helped him put on his pajamas and, to his disappointment, put the dress back where he found it. It wasn't till she helped him to bed that he finally found his voice again.
"Are you going to tell on me?" He asked as she sat next to him.
"No."
"Why?"
"Well, I am your big sister and sometimes I can act like a cool one too." Jun smiled softly as he began to cry a little. She hugged him and soon after said good night. They both thought it was going to be the last time, but it wasn't. Daisuke couldn't forget the feeling of the dress. The feeling of wearing one. It was like a fairy tale. He began to think of it constantly. He wanted to do it again. So he did.
It started with a wig and some more clothes that Jun forgot. Thick sweaters and other winter things that made it easy to hide his appearance. Then it became clothes that he ventured out in Jun's clothes to buy. His own skirts and dresses that he placed safely under his bed, behind his sports gear and comics. Then it became a name, Fuyuki (a name that girls born in winter were given because that's when he first became someone different). He didn't want to be a girl. It was just fun to pretend sometimes. He didn't want it to be permanent, so he promised himself that he would only do it in the winter. It would be what he did when there was no soccer anymore.
When he turned thirteen, he decided he wanted to wear make up again. He had waited till his parents were gone again and put on his pretend clothes. When everything was in place, the long, black wig secure and the knee highs just right, he had boldly walked into his sister's room.
"What did I tell you about knocking?" She had asked irritated as she continued to flip through her magazine.
"I want help." He said clearly in the voice he spent hours practicing with a tape recorder. Jun's head had snapped up so quickly it had almost looked painful.
"Daisuke?" Her eyes widened as she took in the sight of her little brother.
"Teach me, please?" He asked embarrassed, his face bright red, as he lifted a bag full of his latest additions to his treasures. He thought for sure that she would tell this time. That she would be shamed by her brother.
But she didn't, wasn't, and surprised him again. They had talked for a long time before she agreed to help him. She was confused, but later confessed that she was just as happy as he was. Jun had always wished for a little sister to teach, and anyway the Motomiya siblings were always considered "a little strange" so why not add another reason to the belief?
And his thirteen winter passed wonderfully, as did the fourteenth. The latest one, however, didn't even begin before his first disaster with Fuyuki struck. It was all Hikari's fault. No one was supposed to know. Except for Jun, but really she didn't count because she was his sister and this was the only true sibling bonding they had.
But that's neither here, nor now. What is now is the fact that he, Daisuke Motomiya, age fifteen, was standing in front of his friends in skirt on the what could really be counted as the coldest day in Odaiba history (or at least that November), and all he could say to them was: "See? I told you that can be a convincing girl!"
They weren't supposed to know. No one was supposed to know. It was his special secret. A hobby, if you will. Something he did only in winter and alone.
And it was all Hikari's fault because he couldn't bear to see her so sad a week before.
--
Today is perfect for soccer. Daisuke couldn't think of anything else the second he'd woken up that morning. It was chilly, yes, but the snow hadn't fallen yet and soon it would be impossible to play soccer. Well, not impossible but a snowy field is always harder to play on than a grassy one.
He'd gotten dressed in record time, throwing on the cleanest clothes from his floor and the goggles from their spot on the dresser. The phone was free and no one was home, seeing as Jun had already left on a shopping trip and his parents had gone to do…whatever it is his parents do, so he'd happily sprawled halfway on counter and dialed Ken's phone number.
"Moshi moshi, Ichijouji residence."
"Morning Ken-chan!" Daisuke chirped merrily. "I thought we could hang out and play some soccer today!"
"Hello Daisuke," Ken answered, amused at his friend's excitement. "Sorry, but I'm going to have to decline. There's a major test tomorrow and I need to study."
"But it's going to snow soon! And knowing you, you probably have whatever it is you're studying memorized." Daisuke was trying to put his full pout into his voice.
"Sorry, Daisuke. Next weekend okay? We can do it after we hang out with the digi-destined like we planned." Ken sounded sincere enough so Daisuke gave in and after a quick chat he hung up.
"Man, now what?" Daisuke racked his brain for a second before another option quickly popped into his head. "Taichi-sempai!" He quickly entered the digits for the Yagami residence into the phone. "It's busy?" He thought about waiting before calling again but the autumn afternoon was slowly coming along and he decided against it. He didn't live too far away, after all, it wouldn't be too much of a bother to just walk over and ask.
The air was crisp and cold, but it felt good so Daisuke didn't mind. After a short walk, Daisuke had arrived in front of the Yagami's door and knocked on the door. He was practically bouncy in his shoes, his soccer ball held securely in his left arm while his hands were stuffed into his pockets. Hikari answered the door not long after.
"Hey, Hikari! Is Taichi home?" Daisuke grinned.
"Sorry, Daisuke, but he left not long ago with Sora and Yamato." Hikari giggled at Daisuke's instant pout. "What's going on?"
"Oh, nothing, I just wanted to play soccer but Ken's busy so I thought…" Daisuke stopped short, noticing something odd about Hikari. "Are you okay?"
"Um…I'm fine! Really," she quickly waved her hands as if to emphasize her point. Daisuke noticed a small object in her hand.
"Is that lipstick?" Daisuke looked a little shocked at this. Hikari wearing make-up? He'd never seen her with it on before. It was almost as weird as the first time he'd seen Jun wear it.
"Uh, no?" Hikari sighed. "Yes. It's just that…" She looked slowly up at Daisuke, a blush covering her face, "never mind."
"What? What's going on?" Daisuke felt a little concerned over the nervous expression on his friend's face. "I wanna help! Tell me, please?"
"I don't think you can help," Hikari turned and let Daisuke in.
"Try me," Daisuke began to take off his shoes. Hikari just sighed and spoke quietly.
"Today is my first date with Takeru…and I want to look nice but I--" she paused to take a deep breath "--I don't know how to put on make up." Daisuke's head snapped up to look at her. That was what was troubling her? "No one has ever showed me and I'm a little scared to ask my mom since I don't want her to make a big production out of my first real date."
Oh…
Daisuke understood suddenly. It must be hard for her to admit this, he thought. She really needs someone to help her. Well, he was her friend, and friends were peopled who helped each other out, right? So really it shouldn't be that big a deal. He studied her face carefully. She looked stressed that was for sure. He did want to help, but should he really be the one to help her out? It was more of a "girl-thing" and Daisuke was far from a girl…Fuyuki was the girl.
Though -- if Hikari was Daisuke's friend, wasn't she Fuyuki's also?
"What time is your date?" He asked softly, still in deep thought.
"In two hours. Why?" Hikari asked a little nervously. Two hours, huh? Not enough time to call Miyako, though the purple haired girl was perfect for this situation seeing as she had older sisters to teach her already. "It's okay really. I'll find a way…somehow."
And that was it. The thing that confirmed Daisuke's doom. The sheer lack of confidence spoken within the single work "somehow." The very thing that made him quit wondering what to do.
"Okay." Daisuke nodded to himself before grabbing Hikari's hand and practically dragging the girl to her room.
"Okay? What are you--"
"Look, it's your first date, right? That's really important." Daisuke sat her in front of her vanity mirror and went to close her door. "Alright, what happens in this room, stays in this room, got it?"
"What's going on, Daisuke?"
"Just trust me okay?" Daisuke stood next to her and examined the items on her desk. "This is all the cosmetics you have?"
"Yes," Hikari's eyes widened, "oh no, you're not going to--"
"Here." Daisuke dug into his pockets in pulled out all the money he'd brought with him. "If you hate it, you can wash your face and take all my money, okay?"
"Daisuke…" Hikari looked worried.
"Just trust me," He kneeled in front of her. "Don't ask how, but I know what I'm doing."
Hikari looked at him wearily before nodding resigned. "Alright."
"Good." Daisuke stood back up and went through the items he had to work with. "So, to start off with you need to pull your hair back and…"
--
Whatever doubts Hikari had were quickly banished a half hour later.
"Wow, is that really me?" She asked as she stared into the mirror. Her eyes were lined carefully in black and a pale pink to match her outfit. Her cheeks had a slight rosy touch. Her lips shined in a slightly red gloss ("it's either lips or eyes, Hikari. You can't wear bright lipstick and wear too much eye shadow or it'll be too much. I think you should go with the eyes, personally," Daisuke had said and she just nodded dumbly after).
"Yup," Daisuke grinned as he handed her a tube of mascara. "It'll be faster to put on when you get used to doing it yourself. Now you put this on yourself. I don't want to poke out your eye or whatever."
"Thanks, Daisuke." Hikari said as she carefully did the finishing touch. Afterwards she began to put away her make up. "Um, Daisuke, I have a question--"
"Wow, it's a really nice day, yeah? Bummer that I don't have anything to do." He laughed nervously.
"Daisuke," Hikari turned to face him. "How do you know how to--"
"I mean, really, it's just gonna get colder and--"
"Daisuke." The one in question sighed.
"Hikari, it's not something I let anyone know, y'know?" He sat on her bed. "I mean, I didn't really wanna let you know but I--the first date is the most important. I didn't want you to be sad."
"Know what?" She walked over to sit by him.
"My hobby." Daisuke pulled his knees up to his chest. "I mean, there's nothing else to do in winter for me with no soccer. And it's all because of Jun, really." He smiled softly. "And it's just nice to be a stranger sometimes."
They had sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Hikari spoke again.
"I want to see."
"Huh?" Daisuke said, ever so intelligently.
"Your hobby, I want to see." Hikari smiled. "If it's okay with you, that is."
Daisuke blushed and looked away. "Promise not to tell anyone?"
"Promise."
Daisuke chewed on his lip, the pros and cons weighing in his head. She did say she promises… "Okay, tomorrow, after school." He nodded and left so she could finish getting ready for her date.
He really should have said no.
--
WOO! Work's gonna suck tomorrow since I stayed up to right this. Oh well, at least it's kinda off my chest now.