Rose leaned her head back against the fetid walls of the dungeon and tried not to think about what could possibly be crawling in her hair. She took a deep breath and addressed the contrite man chained across from her in very, very reasonable tones.

"So, let me get this straight. This small drab grey planet was transmitting a huge mauve "help us" signal."

"Yep." He nodded with an encouraging and yet endearing smile that made Rose want to take off the chains that bound her just so she could slap him upside the head.

She took another calming breath. "Mauve being the universally recognised colour for danger."

"Yep."

"Now this signal is arranged at a frequency that only humanoids and other bipe-bipeddle—beings with two legs tend to use."

"Bipedal and yes, humans like to use the same wavelengths, makes things easier on them, I think and of course the traffic is less likely to—"

He faltered under Rose's glare and she continued.

"Now also in this part of the Galaxy is a well known planet which most ships stay away from. This planet which, by the way is known as grey and drab, is home to some of the most vicious exiled slavers who turned savage and who, in fact, are very into human sacrifice."

"Uh … yes."

Rose bit her lip. Calm. Remain calm. "Right. So knowing that this planet of savage sacrificial slavers who, incidentally like to eat the roasted sacrifice, is drab and grey and realising that the planet which this mauve distress signal is from is also drab and grey and transmitting only on a frequency that humans, humanoids, new humans, humanish or pseudo-humans can hear—we decided to land on it."

"Yes."

There was a brief moment of silence. "Was there any point, any point at all when you thought 'hey, this could be a trap'?"

The Doctor scratched his head. "Honestly? Uh no. Not really. Not as such. I mean it did cross my mind very briefly that it could possibly be less than completely genuine due to the actual location of the signal and it did occur to me that it was a little convenient that the frequency was broadcast on wavelengths that humans tend to use, but I thought that the actual possibility of it being false were—"

"High?" Rose rattled her chains at him.

The Doctor edged away from the dangerous gleam in her eyes. "Funny, isn't it?"

Rose narrowed her eyes at him. "There is nothing funny about being boiled alive and eaten by savage slavers intent on sacrificing you."

The Doctor wrinkled his nose. "You know, logically speaking, making a pot large enough to boil a person would require superior technology which this civilisation—such as it is—doesn't have. They're far more likely to hack us to death and boil the pieces separately."

Rose gave him a small smile and nodded sagely. "If they cook me first, I'm coming back to haunt you."