Nine

It's been two year now and it's still never gotten easier. Everyone tells me to move on that there's nothing more I can do. I know you're dead but I can't forget you. There are nine things, nine reasons why I'll never forget you.

Number one is the first time we met. I saw a man push you over as he ran in a panic. You sighed with slight annoyance before pulling yourself up and dusting down your dress. Your eyes met mine across the crowded market place and you wandered over. You asked what had happened because you had heard an explosion. I said it was nothing before eyeing your basket of flowers. You followed my gaze and smiled, asking if I would like one. I agreed, trying to ignore your soft fingertips brushing against the back of my hand. I watched you walk away and somehow, I knew we would meet again.

That brings me to Number two. I remember opening my eyes and staring into your worried face. When you saw I was awake, you explained what had happened, how I had scared you by crashing through the roof and onto the flowerbed. As soon as I realised I had crushed your flowers I leapt up, cheeks burning with a mixture of guilt and embarrassment. You simply smiled and said it didn't matter. We officially introduced ourselves before you asked me to be your bodyguard. It was then that I noticed Reno watching us from the doorway. I shrugged and agreed.

The third thing happened just a few minutes later as we ran from Reno. You had said you thought they were after you because they reckoned you had what it took to be in Soldier. But we soon found out you weren't as we leapt from rooftop to rooftop because your voice called out, begging me not to leave you behind. I teased you, repeating what you had just said minutes before.

You blinked at me before you smiled. A second later, a small giggle escaped and before I knew it, you were laughing uncontrollably. I couldn't help a small smile of my own and suddenly, I found that I was laughing along with you. I was laughing for the first time in what felt like years. It wasn't even funny looking back but, throughout the whole journey to defeat Sephiroth, that was the one and only time I laughed. You were the only one who had got a smile and chuckle from me. Tifa couldn't even manage that.

When you were kidnapped by Tseng during ShinRa's mission to destroy Sector Seven, I vowed to myself that I would rescue you. I still remember Barret's words clearly as we rode the elevator up the ShinRa building. He had said with slight amusement that even I cared enough to fight for someone. I didn't say anything back but I deep down, I couldn't really deny it. I had said I couldn't care less about the Planet or Avalanche, or ShinRa, yet, here I was coming to rescue a woman I had met just hours before. It was then I realised I did care after all. The ability to make me care about anything but myself is enough to make my number four.

Number five occurred when we reached Gonganga and met an old couple. They asked if we knew anything about their son, Zack. I said I didn't. You whispered the name and suddenly turned and ran out of the door, Tifa close behind. I found you standing quietly beside one of the houses. I asked what had happened and you explained that Zack was your first boyfriend. I kept quiet, let you get all those emotions off your chest but deep down, I was furious. Jealousy wound its way through my body as I forced myself to listen to you, trying to be sympathetic. You studied me carefully once you were finished and a sly smile crept its way onto your lips as you asked whether I was jealous. I glared at the ground and turned away, pretending to be offended. You assured me you were only joking and then left. The thing was, I really was jealous.

I'd never seen you upset before. You were the happiest of the group, always smiling and ready for tomorrow. So when I saw how you sat quietly at the Cosmo flame, with your legs drawn to your chest defensively, I was worried. I asked you what was wrong and you said you were alone. Without thinking, I began saying how I would always be there for you but stopped myself after the 'I' and corrected it to 'we'. I figured it wasn't the right time to confess my feelings. You had so much on your mind at that moment. I decided to leave you alone. But I would never forget the tears building behind your eyes.

Number seven is one that still makes me feel warm all over with happy embarrassment and yet now, it makes me incredibly sad. It was our date at the Gold Saucer. We had to play the lead parts in the play. You were the Princess and I was your knight. As I knelt before you and took your hand, I looked into your face for the briefest moment. Your cheeks had taken on a light tinge of pink as your large eyes stared down at me in a mixture of surprise and happiness. You breathed my name as my lips brushed against the back of your hand but quickly corrected yourself.

We made our way to the Gondola and sat in contented silence opposite each other. As the fireworks exploded they bright colours played on your face, making your hair glow and your eyes hold a brighter sparkle than your usual youthful one. You turned to me then as your hands folded neatly on your lap. You told me you wanted to meet me. I didn't understand. Before I could ask, the ride stopped and we stepped off. You asked me if we could go again. I agreed because I wanted to go on a date with you again.

We were perfect for each other. That's what Cait Sith said anyway. Our stars, your and mine, they were perfect for each other. The bittersweet prediction of our compatibility is my number eight.

And lastly, number nine. This is the one memory I want to forget, or at least change so that it happened many years later. The way you smiled at me made me think everything was alright. Then, he struck, his sword piercing your skin and right through your stomach. I watched in horror as your hair came undone, as Sephiroth's lips turned into a cold smirk before he deliberately pulled the weapon out of you. I rushed forward and caught you in my arms, ignoring the way your blood soaked through my clothes. Your eyes slowly closed after one last breath and you went limp in my arms.

I felt tears roll down my face. My eyes were burning, my fingers were tingling and my lips were dry. I just couldn't accept that you were gone, that you would never laugh, cry or get angry again. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. Watching your body drift to the bottom of the lake was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Our time together was over.

But I can't forget the flower you sold me

I can't forget how I fell through the roof of your Church

I can't forget the way you made me laugh

I can't forget how you made me care

I can't forget the jealousy

I can't forget the time that you cried

I can't forget our date

I can't forget that we were perfect for each other

I can't forget that you died in my arms.

I can't forget you, Aerith.