a/n: How in the world did this get so long? Well, it started out with a little idea – you know the girl who talks to the twins during their snowy day flashbacks? I think the idea there was that she was supposed to look like Haruhi – remind us of Haruhi - but wasn't Haruhi herself. At least, that's my thought.
This fanfic is supposing that little girl was Haruhi, except then I had a lot of plot holes to fill in. A lot. Like, why would Haruhi be at Ouran anyway? Thus, this story was born.
It was not supposed to be angst – it was supposed to be cute – but my plans for an angst-less story have been foiled. This has a rather sad undertone by the end. I was going to post this in Of Rainy Days and Lightning, but it's really not a drabble-ish thing at all – it has its own plot and set of events; enough that it's fine on it's own.
I'm really very proud of this. xD I hope everyone will read and give me a nice review telling me what they thought (unless it's just mean. Then you're welcome to keep your opinions to yourself). Most of all, I hope you enjoy it!
The woman gave her slight grin. "Remember, we're not going to tell Daddy about our little excursion, are we?"
The little girl smiled back at her mother, a smile unusually placid for a child. "All right, Mommy," she replied, hopping off of her chair.
"It'll be our secret," Kotoko agreed, taking the tiny hand in her own.
The two walked through the streets, vibrant with the colors of autumn. Ocassionally, the child would point at something and tell her mother, "That's an acorn. It falls off trees," or, "That's Mr. Squirrel. He eats acorns. Squirrels are rodents, you know. Just like rats. I like squirrels better."
"That's right," the mother would say.
When they got to their destination, the girl's head angled dramatically upward to take in all the glory of the pristine white building, surrounded by dignified, warmly colored trees.
Her mother tugged her hand. "Haruhi. Come on, or we'll be late."
She was quiet now, content to be led along by her mother's thin hand. Thinner, lately. But still strong.
"Mommy," the little girl spoke up suddenly. Her voice was more solemn than most children's, and completely lacked any lisps or traces of baby-talk. "Why are you wearing your nice shoes? And your nice clothes? You only wear them to your Big Cases."
Kotoko gave her daughter an odd look, but pride sparkled in her eyes. "You're too bright for me," she said, shaking her head thoughtfully, "this is a very important meeting, you'll see."
They came to a large, elaborate door. The doorkeeper – a distinguished old man with a moustache – admitted them.
Haruhi calmly took in her grand surroundings. "It really is nice here," she commented. Kotoko looked at a scrap of paper in her hand. "Now, where is this chairman's office?" she muttered. She'd never been good with directions.
Haruhi wandered over to a window – she noted that this window, like most things in this building, was bigger than anything she'd ever seen of its kind. White birds, birds that were somehow whiter than the gleaming school itself, took flight in the blue sky. She cocked her head as she observed them.
"Haruhi," her mother called softly, "I think I know the way."
Once again, she took her mother's hand. Shortly after, Haruhi was told to sit patiently in a chair (again, one of the grandest things she'd ever seen) while her mother had a "very important talk" with the "very nice man".
Haruhi was sitting patiently, as she'd been told, when she heard scuffling sounds and shrieks of delight from down the empty hallway.
She inclined her head in their direction. To be honest, she wasn't particularly interested.
The boy was about her age, she decided, and she noted his carefully-styled auburn hair immediately. He moved quickly, and the grin on his face was almost aglow. His eyes were a strange, light color – almost like a cat's– with a sort of devilish fleck to them.
Haruhi did become particularly interested when the same boy – or so it seemed – dashed by right after him. They didn't notice her as they passed, and she didn't really mind. But next came a shrill, exasperated cry and more footsteps – louder, harder.
"I've had it!" The girl cried as the giggles faded, the two identical boys gone from the scene. She took off her frilly apron and threw it on the ground, grinding it into the marble with her heel. "This is the last straw!" she shouted, even louder and more shrilly. She didn't see Haruhi, but it was obvious that this woman had been driven mad. Probably by the two imps that had run by.
She stomped off.
Haruhi was left in silence again, which was fine with her.
"What are you doing?"
It was two voices, speaking as one.
"I'm waiting for my Mommy to come out of that room," Haruhi explained evenly, "she's having a Very Important Meeting."
The two looked at her with the exact same unflinching gaze. Their faces broke into symmetrical smiles at the same instant.
"Did you see the lady who ran off?"
They were still speaking in unison. Any normal child – or adult – would be unsettled. Not Haruhi.
"Yes. She was screaming. Was she screaming at you?"
"She's our nanny," they said, again together.
"She probably won't be anymore, though." It was the boy on the left, a matter-of-fact, almost mischievous tone in his otherwise childishly-sweet voice.
The odd thing, Haruhi noticed, was that he spoke alone.
"What's your name?" they asked her, once again together.
"Haruhi. Who are you?"
"Hikaru and Kaoru," they answered at the same time.
Haruhi's eyes went from one to the other. "But which of you is Hikaru, and which of you is Kaoru?"
They just blinked at her.
"You're not both named Hikaruandkaoru, are you?"
The one on the left spoke again. "I'm Kaoru."
The one on the right took his brother's lead. "I'm Hikaru."
She smiled at them.
"Kaoru? Hikaru?" It was faint, but it sounded like a woman – a different one from before. It was faint, just barely audible. Worried, light, and thin.
They exchanged feral smiles.
"It's Aunty. We've got to go," they told her.
Haruhi just watched the two imps as they ran off.
She was left again with peace and quiet, which somehow wasn't so fine anymore.
The woman coughed. She brought up a hand – frailer than ever – to muffle it.
"Excuse me," she apologized, her voice a tad raspy. The little girl – who was persistently working on tying the laces of her shoes – just nodded, lost in concentration. Her mother watched her for a few seconds.
"You've been working really hard on those," her mother commented. She nodded again.
"You know, it's okay to ask for help once you've done your all. Do you need some?" she asked gently. Haruhi looked up at her mother.
"Yes, please," she conceded with a smile. Kotoko took up the laces and explained how one shaped them like bunny ears and looped them around each other. Haruhi trained her eyes on her mother's hands and nodded again when both shoes were properly laced. She stood, and was surveyed by Kotoko. She smiled approvingly at Haruhi's outfit – a navy blue dress, white tights, and even a ribbon in her hair.
The effect was dampened by Haruhi's tennis shoes – she'd resisted all attempts to make her wear her dress shoes, saying they pinched her toes. Kotoko couldn't help smiling, though, because the contrast just highlighted Haruhi's already clear mentality.
Kotoko helped Haruhi into her coat, then wrapped a scarf around the girl's neck.
"Winter is coming," she explained, "the air is colder. More bitter."
Haruhi agreed.
They walked down the same paths they walked down a few months ago, but this time any lingering leaves were brittle and brown. A chill hung in the air. They talked less; Kotoko coughed more.
"Mommy," said Haruhi at some point, "where are we doing today? You're extra-dressed up, like you were that night you and Daddy went out. And," she added with the hint of a rare grimace, "I have to wear a dress."
"It's normal to wear dresses sometimes, Haruhi. I wear skirts to work every day, don't I?"
"I don't like them so much."
"But you look so cute!"
"I guess," Haruhi replied. "Where are we going?"
Her mother didn't reply immediately.
"The same place we went last time," she said finally, "and you won't tell Daddy again, right? It's extra important this time."
"What are you doing when you come here?"
Kotoko just smiled secretively.
They walked a bit longer in companionable silence. The only sound was the wind rustling through the barren trees; the last leaves clinging to their stems..
There was a light clink, and Kotoko stopped in her tracks.
"Hmm?" Haruhi asked. Kotoko's hand flew up to her face. She bit her lip, squeezed her eyes shut, and then opened them again.
Her voice projected nothing but calm, just like in the courtroom. "My ring just came off, is all. I guess I've been losing weight."
She managed to convince Haruhi that she was fine, but that didn't stop her hand from trembling as she reclaimed her wedding band.
There were far more people in the white building this time. The chinks of glasses and ring of bell-like laughter filled the room. A professional strings orchestra – the finest in the nation, most likely – played music to accompany the greetings and polite chats.
They were all dressed stylishly. Haruhi was only a child – she couldn't begin to name the number of designer exclusives that were in the hall. She would never be able to appreciate that her mother fearlessly walked into that room without a designer label anywhere on her body.
A man with brown hair and dark eyes - eyes that glittered with enthusiasm - was the first to greet them.
"Ah," he said eagerly, "Why, fair Ms. Fujioka. Glad to see you could make it." His eyes fell on Haruhi, who was examining him quietly. "And your daughter!" he exclaimed, horrified, "She's adorable! Why did you never mention she was so cute?"
Kotoko surpressed a giggle. There was something about this rich man that reminded her of her Ryoji. "I didn't think it was of any consequence to the matters we were discussing," she lilted.
"My dear Ms. Fujioka – your intelligence blindsights me. Woe is the woman who posesses a pretty complexion but lacks an intellect such as yours. I'm more sure than ever that this girl inherited it, as well as her large and may I say very lovely eyes. Why-"
"That's enough, Yoshio. Ms. Fujioka has a husband, doesn't she? No need to say such things."
Haruhi could feel her mother's hand stiffen, though her smile did not waver for a millisecond. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Mr. Ootori."
The man, with his sharp, cold eyes, glanced at the child, who had proceeded to examine him. "This is the girl that Yuzuru has been talking about, then."
The brown-haired man beamed. "Isn't she the sweetest thing you've ever seen? Yoshio?"
"Hn."
Kotoko turned to the boy - perhaps twelve or fourteen or fifteen, somewhere around there - who was standing beside Yoshio. His eyes were a little less cold, much duller. "Is this your son?"
"My oldest," he said distractedly.
"Well, Ms. Fujioka – may I call you Kotoko?"
Kotoko coughed, then answered. "Of course you may."
"You might as well get a drink for yourself and talk with some of these people. After all, you deserve it."
"That's too kind of you, Mr. Suoh. But thank you."
Kotoko released Haruhi's hand. "Go on, Haruhi. I'll be busy for a bit, so don't run off anywhere. You can talk with some of the other children, if you want to."
Haruhi smiled and nodded, obediently walking off looking for a playmate.
"She really is a good woman," Yuzuru commented in a low tone as Kotoko disappeared into the crowd.
"Is the child really as smart as they say?"
"Tests show that she has some wonderful potential."
Yoshio's face stayed blank, although interest lit somewhere in it. "Kyouya recently took some of those tests. Although I myself don't put much faith in them, he did very well, too."
"Kyouya? Isn't he your youngest?"
Yoshio said nothing.
"I don't mean anything by that," Yuzuru continued with a shrug, "At any rate, I don't think my Tamaki has taken anything like that." He smiled handsomely. "But I know that if he takes after my side, there won't be any problems. By the way, I was thinking. About that lovely girl. Wouldn't she make a good wife?"
"For Tamaki?"
"Yes. They'd be a beautiful couple! Her, with her big brown eyes and him with his blue ones. Can you believe that? His mother tells me he has blue eyes!"
"Tamaki's a bit young to be thinking about a match." He paused. "If she's really as sharp as you say she is, I might consider her for one of my own boys."
"It would have to be Kyouya, then. The other ones are much too old." Yoshio took in a dramatic breath. "Fine. If that's the way you want it, then it's a deal: we are from here on locked in a rivalry!"
Yoshio looked at him disdainfully. "I said no such thing."
"Kaoru, your vest isn't buttoned properly," she told the boy after she said her goodbyes to a newer costumer, and fellow Ouran mother.
He looked down only to find that she was right. They were buttoned lopsidedly.
Her elegant, red-tipped fingers reached for them. "Here, let me-"
But before she could finish, the other twin unbuttoned the vest feverishly, as if willing his mother to leave them alone. She touched her mouth – covered in just the right shade of lipstick – but then sighed.
"Hikaru, I know you and your brother like to stick together, but can't you let Mama into the fun, too?" she pleaded. The two looked up at her with their matching sets of glassy, golden eyes; the very picture of innocence.
"We can do it," they told her. She frowned.
"You two – these are the parents of your future classmates. Don't play tricks today, 'kay? For just an hour?" Her tone was bright, but it was a plea all the same.
The two nodded simultaneously. As their mother started up a conversation with one of their fathers' friends' wives, they spotted two large brown eyes studying them from a few feet off. They looked her up and down.
"Do we know you?"
She nodded. "I think. I kind of remember you." She paused. "Your Mommy got you guys mixed up, didn't she?"
The twins looked vacantly at her. She tried again.
"She called you Kaoru, and you Hikaru, when it's really the other way around."
They gave a mutual, detached shrug.
"Sometimes we forget-"
"-Which of us is which-"
"-Just for a bit-"
"- So it doesn't really matter."
Haruhi stared at them for a while more, her expression unchanging. "That's not right. You can't really feel that way – I'd be sad if my Mommy didn't know who I was."
They didn't respond, but the corners of their mouths turned down.
And for once the first time in a long time, someone saw something true besides vacancy in their eyes.
Sadness.
Haruhi laced up her shoes. She had a hard time with it, actually, but she'd been getting better these last few months. After all, there was no one to help her. A girl had to learn to do what she had to do.
She paused for a while, listening carefully to the quiet of the house. A clock ticked pleasantly in the background, but that was all.
And so she left, alone. With no one to take her tiny hand or remind her to wear a scarf.
She left her apartment, remembering to lock the door behind her like she'd always seen her parents do. She shivered in the cold, noticing a snowflake drift past her nose.
Mother, you were right when you said it would be getting cold soon, she thought, noting a few more stray flakes.
She had not been in her walk for more than five minutes when the flakes came more heavily, beginning to stick to the ground. Some of it in the street turned to a dirty gray slush.
This walk feels longer without you.
She put her hands in her pockets, even though she was already wearing a green pair of mittens. Shortly before her mother had taken to her bed, Haruhi's father had grown fond of buying Haruhi all kinds of new clothes. Sometimes when Kotoko saw them she would laugh, sometimes she'd wince, sometimes she'd nod approvingly.
But with this outfit, she'd smiled and told Haruhi how much she liked it. Haruhi didn't care for any of the clothing – she didn't like anything her father brought home, it was itchy – but if she was going to this place, she needed to dress up.
And, besides, her mother liked it.
So, with small steps, Haruhi made her way to the building. The beautiful, white building. She was shivering and her cheeks were bitten by the cold, but she smiled triumphantly when she passed through the gates.
She wasn't sure she'd be able to do it without her mother, but here she was.
I did it.
A man, from a few stories up, quirked an eyebrow and looked through the window of his chairman's office.
It's the girl... without her mother, he thought.
He stood and watched her, an ache flooding his heart. The paperwork had never been signed. The scholarship had gone to another child, and Ms. Fujioka was nothing but ashes now.
Now that I'm here... what should I do? Mother?
A bell sounded loudly and she heard the joyous cries of children.
Following the noise, Haruhi found herself in an open area. Kids were everywhere, playing ball and tag and talking and laughing. Haruhi suddenly felt a tug in her heart, something that compelled her to join them. But then they caught her attention.
Only two boys were removed from all of it. They were sitting together on a bench, each clenching the other's hand tightly. They were together, but they looked alone. The twins, she realized, that she'd seen twice before.
As if in a trance, Haruhi walked over to them. She heard snippets of conversation, but she hardly registered any of them.
"Oh, that's so pretty!"
"Do you want to make a snowman?"
"Takashi! Takashi, do you want a cookie?"
"Do you want to play?"
It was a timid offer. There was something formidable about their silence, their empty, light eyes.
They blinked, remembering who she was from their last encounter. They opened their mouths and set their condition.
"First, you have to guess. Which one of us is Hikaru, and which is Kaoru."
She studied them . Yes, yes, it was simple. To her, it was as clear as night and day. She stuck out a mittened hand.
"This one's Hikaru… and this one's Kaoru."
The two twins sat in a stunned silence. She was right.
Snow was falling... but spring had finally come. The girl smiled, hoping for them to play with her.
For all of them.
a/n: Did you notice that Haruhi started calling her 'Mommy' Mother in the second have, after Kotoko's death? I wanted to explain that, but there was no good place for it. A drabble, perhaps? Maybe after I recuperate from writing seven pages of single spaced, twelve point Times New Roman. I still have to update my KyouxHaru, too, so… yay. It will get updated!