Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot

A/N IMPORTANT

ok well I started this fic 2 years ago but for some reason it was temporarily deleted from the site and I got frustrated and stopped. Anyway the thing is, I can't remember my password to my account dramaluv and in any case, I changed my email so I'm not stealing this fic- it's actually mine, I just can't access my first account. I'm going to try to sort it out though but meanwhile if anyone can help me with my account problems, please do- I don't want to get reported or anything- right now I'm just hoping for the best- I improved the fic so I'm hoping since it isn't a copy of the original, it isn't an infraction... :O

That being said, this is my first fic so please be nice and review! bye for now and enjoy!

It was exactly 4 am when Hermione's eyes fluttered open in panic. She tumbled out of bed in a most unceremonious fashion and landed squarely and somewhat painfully on her bum.

While rubbing her bum unconsciously, the full realisation of her "predicament" hit her.

"Merlin's whiskers!! I'm late! I was supposed to be up an hour ago! Bloody alarm clock!" she exploded.

She stumbled around her room feeling totally disoriented. This was what happened when something unexpected happened to change the detailed plan she had mapped out for her life. Hermione was as far from impulsive as you could get. Schedules, to- do lists, daily planners- those were her thing. The words "I wonder what to do today" weren't even in her vocabulary so needless to say, in the face of "disaster" she was completely unprepared.

So, understandably, she did the only thing she could think of at the moment- she grabbed the offending alarm clock and furiously launched it out her window, fervently hoping that she would have the ultimate satisfaction of hearing its impact with the hard gravel below.

This was exactly what happened but the resounding crash, instead of being a stress reliever, was more like a slap in the face to Hermione.

"Oh my goodness!! What has gotten into me? That's something Ron would do!" she exclaimed, pacing the room frantically, while pondering her moral fortitude.

In her mind's eye she had countless flashes from the last school year-

"Ronald, violence and aggression really don't solve anything you know. Remember, violence only breeds contempt and contempt breeds conflict and conflict breeds catastrophe!" she could clearly picture herself lecturing to an exasperated Ron.

And true to her words, poor Hermione's violence only bred contempt- for herself!! She resolved that she had to do something quickly to catch this day "in the bud" for if it continued in this vein, she would surely be dead by the end- or worse at St. Mungo's where she would miss her first week back to Hogwarts! Having resolved to do this, she started to make her way over to the window to see the fate of her alarm clock before getting ready.

On the way there, she caught her rather big feet in her overstuffed trunk and for the second time that morning was forced to reacquaint her bum with her bedroom floor. As a result, her brisk walk to the window was delayed a good five minutes while she emitted a series of howls that would shame a werewolf.

"Well this is turning out to be a great start for my day!" she muttered sarcastically, while detaching herself from the floor. Then, in a sudden burst of inspiration, one that Hermione alone could manage, she began to give herself a rather animated pep talk.

"No! I'm Head girl this year!" she announced, proudly stroking the shiny badge on her light blue nightdress (oh come on, give her a break- she was excited and plus, it could get lost if she didn't wear it everywhere!)

"I must be a picture of dignity!" she shouted. (pumps fist in the air energetically)

"I must be the picture of confidence!" she continued (pumps fist)

I must be the picture of success! "She shouted for her grand finale, while giving three last energetic pumps with her fist.

She then lowered her now rather floppy arm, almost disappointed not to hear any applause, for it was her firm belief that her little speech had been fully deserving of thunderous applause; maybe even a standing ovation!

Her mother's sleepy voice floated in from the room next door, interrupting her daydream: "Herms? When you're done your pep talk, how about letting your poor old parents get some sleep?" she asked.

Hermione blushed and decided it was time to start getting ready for her first day as Hogwart's Headgirl. She looked into the mirror and emitted a shrill, almost ultrasonic wail that was loud enough to make a banshee jealous (she was in the mood for disgracing magical creatures this morning wasn't she?)

On her head, her usually bushy hair was at least 10 times bushier than usual! It stuck out in frizzled bunches, reminding her of a cartoon she had watched where a fox had gotten struck by lightning. It was so vivid that she could almost smell the smoke- and surely her knees couldn't feel so wobbly of their own accord!

"MOOOOOM!" she shrieked.

Unfortunately, her parents had as a last resort, put in earplugs to effectively block out her constant interruptions of their sleep, sure that their drill- sergeant daughter was going to wake them up in at least 10 minutes anyway so they could be ready by 5: 30 for the 10 o'clock Hogwarts Express.

Thirty minutes, dozens of spells and at least twenty combs later, Hermione was desperate. She racked her brain frantically to remember the spell that Lavender (who had become her close friend) had told her last year but unfortunately she never made it a habit to actually listen with both ears to Lavenders beauty tips.

Darn! I think I was reciting Hogwarts A History Volume 2 to myself when she was jabbering on about it! Hermione thought.

She made a quick mental note to listen more attentively in the future. After all, even Hogwarts a History couldn't help her now!

She then remembered that Lavender has spent the summer with her Muggle cousins. She grabbed the telephone book and leafed through it like a madwoman until she found the number. She then practically stabbed the number into her phone, not caring that each frantic stab of her finger left a firm imprint of her nail on the rubber buttons.

"Hello?" came a hoarse, drowsy voice at the end of the line.

"Hi! May I speak to Lavender, please?" answered Hermione in a rather brisk but polite voice.

After some grunting and colourful language, Hermione heard the person finally call Lavender.

"Lavvie, there's some crazy, chipper person on the line who wants to speak to you!" the person croaked.

Hermione didn't hear Lavender's reply but the person hollered,

"Well I know what the time is! I'm not dumb you know! Why don't you tell the sparrow on the phone that?!"

There was a few seconds silence and then some deafening snores reached Hermione's ear. Thankfully, they were soon interrupted by Lavender's sleepy and extremely annoyed voice.

"Hello? Hello? Who's this?" she barked.

Unruffled and half- oblivious to Lavender's smarting tone, Hermione chirped,

"Hi, Lavvie! What's up? Can you believe it's the first day of school already?! Aren't you excited?! We're seventh years now!! Anyway I just wanted to ask you what that hair taming spell was that you mentioned last year."

"HERMIONE IT IS 5 BLOODY A.M. DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I WAS NOT DUE OUT OF MY BLOODY BED FOR ANOTHER 3 AND A HALF BLOODY HOURS? AND YOU NEED MORE THAN A HAIR TAMING SPELL, YO UNEED A BLOODY SLEEP- INDUCING POTION!!! AND NO I'M NOT BLOODY EXCITED, I BANNED THE VERY THOUGHT OF SCHOOL FROM MY CONSCIOUSNESS SINCE YESTERDAY! I WAS ONLY DUE TO REMEMBER IT AS I SAID BEFORE- IN 3 BLOODY HOURS!!" Lavender bellowed furiously.

"Did you just say 'bloody' six times in one breath?" Hermione asked, shocked, "I mean I fully understand the use of such words in certain, inevitable situations, but honestly, isn't six times a bit over the top, Lavender?"

Lavender's reply was a deep, bloodcurdling growl that sent shivers down Hermione's neck.

"GEEZ! Sorry, I was only saying! But um what's the spell?" a perturbed Hermione said.

"Contevolov Pelovro! And an Avada Kedavra day to you!" CLICK!

"Wow she sure wasn't lying when she said she wasn't a morning person!" Hermione muttered, but amended that it was worth enduring Lavender's thorny, verbal assaults to get the spell. She thought though, with some regret though that she had forgotten to tell Lavender that her relative's language was horrendous. Oh well, she was seeing her in just about 5 hours so she could tell her then.

She anxiously made her way to her full length mirror that was stuck to her bedroom door.

"I hope this works." she breathed anxiously, almost afraid to hope.

With a sigh, she waved her wand over her head and quickly said the spell, thankful that the Ministry had lowered the age- limit to use magic outside of school to seventeen years of age. Of course, it was only meant for emergencies now that Voldermort had returned, but if this wasn't an emergency, she didn't know what it was!

She looked with relief at her much tamer reflection in the mirror and thought that maybe her day was going to be good after all and that her mirror would be saved from a similar fate to the alarm clock. Good thing to, it was expensive and her parents would kill her, after which she would surely kill herself!

With a new found gusto, Hermione then began manually combing her hair- she had foolishly forgotten to ask Lavender for a hair styling spell as well. She mentally pondered on what style would be most befitting to an esteemed Headgirl.

Twenty minutes later Hermione was going over her checklist in her head.

"Hair- check! Clothes- check! Trunk- check! Makeup- hey wait a second! I don't wear makeup!" she exclaimed.

A slow evil smile then spread across her face as an unlikely thought entered her mind.

A/N: ok I know I didn't describe Hermione physically but it's for a good reason, I promise- I think it'll make the following chapters somewhat funnier and plus, its fun leaving innocent people in suspense!! Please, I'm begging you!! Click the pretty purple button and REVIEW!!!!!!

luv angeldrama.

P.S. For those of you who hate sudden and complete character makeovers, don't worry, although I will make some changes to DM and HG, I'll make it as gradual and realistic as possible and I won't have Malfoy giving out brownies door to door or anything so relax I luv his drawl and witty remarks and insults as much as anyone. Well anyway bybye now. Review!!!