A/N: Ok, so, loads of people have been doing stuff along the same lines as this... Figured I'd have a go at it.
Basically, the Doctor finds Rose's MySpace, and decides to answer one of her quizzes - you know the type. Anyway, plan backfires.. but for the good or bad he doesn't know. Fluff. 10/Rose
The Doctor's Cyberspace Mistake
It was a new dawn. A new day… And Rose Tyler was teaching the Doctor to use a computer. It was quite strange really, considering that he'd been alive for 900-odd years, bringing down various evil villains and the like.. But had never actually sat down to a computer to enjoy himself.
So Rose had taken it upon herself to change that, and had brought her laptop onto the TARDIS when they'd visited her mum.
So there she was, laughing away at him as he excitedly bounced up and down in the chair.
"So, Rose… What you're telling me is that I can write something on this lil' space here… and someone in Australia can talk to me?!?!?"
"Uh… I guess.. If you know someone who lives in Australia… Do you?"
The Doctor deflated a little. "No." Even his hair seemed to droop in disappointment. Rose giggled affectionately, but before she could say anything, he suddenly lit up.
"Wait… Do you think I could contact other galaxies."
Rose hadn't really thought about it before… Quite rightly so. "I'm not entirely:-"
But the Doctor interrupted eagerly, "and I could, like… speak to my old friends from Alpha centauri ." he practically beamed.
"Indeed…" Rose was beginning to regret this as the Doctor began blathering on about various alien life forms he could chat to.
"Well, uh. Call me if you need something, I'm gonna go and watch a movie or something, K?"
"Kay," the Doctor barely glanced up at her as she left the room, eyes glued to the screen and fingers flying over the keyboard.
As soon as the door closed, he stopped suddenly, allowing a wicked grin to play on his face. Ok, so maybe he'd tricked Rose. Maybe he knew more about computers than she let on.
He quickly accessed the internet history and located Rose's Myspace page, for no other reason than wanting to pry into Rose's life.
"Damn," he muttered as the message popped up telling him her profile was set to private. He wondered to himself how often Rose went online, and began to plot.
Ok, so it may take a little longer than he had previously planned, but he'd be damned if he didn't gain access to this profile.
He began to register himself and entered in a username and password… After successfully managing it, he quickly accessed Rose's profile yet again, and sent her a friend request.
He sat back sighing with glee, marveling in his own brilliance.
Then he was struck by a thought… Maybe 'LordOfTime' was a bit of an obvious username… Rose wasn't that stupid.. She'd put two and two together.
"Damn it," he said once again, and began to create another user.
10 minutes later, he happily trundled off, grinning in the knowledge that although 'LordOfTime' wasn't the most subtle of names, 'BananaSplit' was definitely more believable (although he had toyed with the idea of 'TardisWhore' for a while).
He knocked on Rose's door, and creaked it open.
"Doctor, the idea of knocking on someone's door is to actually wait until they say 'come in' before you actually do so." Rose was lying on her stomach reading one of her magazines and hadn't bothered looking up as the Doctor came in, although there was a smile tugging at her mouth.
The Doctor made a noise that sounded like a cross between a wounded puppy and a snorting elephant. Rose glanced up, and was met with his full-on puppy-eyed look. She hastily looked down again.
Sod it, she hated those looks of his. The ones that made her heart tremble and her organs play leapfrog. "What do you want," she said, refusing to look up at his adorable face.
"Nothing," he replied airily. "Just, I finished on the computer, so if you want it…" he said, placing it on her desk.
"Ah, ok. Yea thanks." She said, clearly trying to appear absorbed by the page that she was reading, but ruining her calm appearance by holding the magazine upside down. The Doctor decided not to comment, but shot his mega-watt grin at her before exiting.
Rose sighed with relief as he shut the door behind him, thankful that she seemed to have got away with it, and that the Doctor hadn't noticed her pink cheeks. She slid off her bed and padded to the computer.
It had been so long that she'd gone online, and she was itching to log on.
She gave into temptation and booted up the pc, quickly opening up the internet. God, so many emails. 35 to be exact. Rose didn't think she had the strength to go through them just yet…
She opened up her Myspace account, quickly entering in her details.
A few new comments, nothing interesting.
But oh!
5 friend requests?
She clicked the link.
There was 'JazAngel'
'Katherinesmilez'
'SharBaBeZ'
'BananaSplit'
'LordOfTime'
She smiled fondly at the first, remembering her childhood friend that she'd recently bumped into. Katherine and Sharon she vaguely remembered from somewhere. She rolled her eyes when she came to 'LordOfTime'… But she had absolutely no clue who BananaSplit was. None at all.
Whatever – she accepted all of them, as she always did.
Meanwhile, the Doctor was in the control room, pleading with the TARDIS to access the internet on one of her monitors. She finally but grudgingly brought up the internet on one of her screens, and the doctor opened up myspace and logged on with his 'LordOfTime' account.
Almost immediately, he saw he had a message, and saw it was from Rose. Smiling, he opened it.
RoseTyler:
Who is this?
He laughed but didn't reply, instead logging off, and then back in again with 'BananaSplit.' He had an identical message from Rose again, and this time replied with, "John."
He wondered if maybe he should put something else, but didn't want to give himself away.
Back in her room, Rose clicked on her comments, and found one from 'BananaSplit'
BananaSplit:
John
She sent one back, wondering if she knew any John's… And the Doctor still hadn't replied from his 'LordOfTime' account. Maybe it wasn't him. Maybe she should go ask… She hopped off her chair and made her way to the control room.
The Doctor had just read Rose's message:
"Cool. How did u get my myspace?"
When he heard footsteps rapidly approaching.
"Shit," he muttered, frantically turning the monitor off, wrenching off his coat and diving under the console, just as Rose walked in.
"Doctor?" she called.
"Under here," he answered as he ripped out his sonic screwdriver with one hand and tried to smear oil over his face with the other, trying to give the impression he was doing repair works.
She saw his legs sticking out from a hole underneath, and laughed, grabbing one and tickling his calf.
The Doctor yelled in surprise and laughter, and yanked himself up and out.
"Doctor, you know when you went on my laptop?"
"y-es?" he said, trying to look as though he didn't know where this was going.
"What did you go on?"
"Uh, not much. Was a bit boring actually. Can't understand why you apes are all so crazy about it… Quite primitive compared to the systems I've seen in other galaxies, and it's:-"
Rose interrupted before he could go off on another one of his long speeches.
"So the name 'LordOfTime' is new to you is it?"
To his credit, the Doctor was quite good. He kept his face perfectly blank as she asked him, and then furrowed his brow in slight 'confusion.' "Uh, no? Why?" He then gave his expression a tinge of 'I'm-now-fearing-for-your-sanity' before Rose answered.
"Well.. um. Some guy added me on:- Oh it doesn't matter. Nevermind."
The Doctor allowed a tiny hint of amusement to play into his voice, "Probably some clockmaker…"
"Yea," she replied, but the Doctor could tell she hadn't heard what he'd just said… She was trying to figure out who it was in her head.
"Rose?"
She snapped back to reality. "Yes? Oh. Right. Well I'm off… Uh.. I'll be in my room. Yea. Kay," she went off muttering to herself as the Doctor kept his expression.
When her footsteps faded, he gasped in relief. That was close.
Although, he thought smugly to himself, he was not a bad actor when the occasion called for it.
He turned back to the monitor, switching it on, and replied back to Rose.
"A friend of yours. I think it's Shareen? I know her."
It took Rose less than a minute to reply.
"Ah, ok. So, asl?"
The Doctor stared at the screen in consternation. 'asl?' Just what the hell did that mean? He said it aloud to himself, and thought that it actually sounded quite rude.
"asl? What's that?" he replied, wincing as he did so for sounding stupid.
30 seconds later:
"Age, sex, location."
Well he could hardly put 900 years old could he? His eyes widened in surprise when he read the next word… Then he almost kicked himself. "Gender you moron," he berated himself. He pondered for a moment before typing his reply.
"20, male, London… you?"
Ok, so the same age as Rose… And he lived on earth. Not entirely truthful… But these were mere insignificances.
Rose seemed to believe him anyhow:
"20, female, London."
Ok… so now what did he say?
"Cool," he typed, cringing at his lack of interesting vocabulary.
Then he decided to do a bit of exploring on Rose's profile.
Up top left was a picture of Rose… It didn't do her justice, he decided, and made a mental note to tell her to put a different one up – before remembering that she didn't know he was on here and she'd kill him if she found out he'd been lying to her… Although, technically, he wasn't lying, because she'd only asked about the LordOfTime' account – not the 'BananaSplit' one, so really:- he cut the train of thought off before he annoyed himself to death.
On the right-hand-side were a couple of links. One link grabbed his attention;
'Are you my type?"
He grinned at the screen and clicked on it. At once he was greeted by a long list of questions. He rubbed his palms together and began to answer them one by one:
1. Who are you? John
2. Are we friends? I don't think so. Not yet anyway. Although I'd like to be. If you want that. Do you want that? I mean. If you don't then…
The Doctor stopped himself from blabbering on and on.
3. When and how did we meet? Myspace
The Doctor thought back to the day he met her in that basement and grabbed her hand…
4. How have I affected you? You.. saved me.
He had already forgotten he was talking to Rose, and the fact that she was under the impression that he didn't know how to use the internet, and that she would personally castrate him if she found out what he was doing…
It all seemed to melt away into nothingness.
5. What do you think of me? You're you. You're different. You're kind, energetic, funny, adorable. Beautiful.
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me? There's so many.
7. How long do you think we will be friends? For as long as possible. Forever.
8. Do you love me?
The Doctor thought to himself. Long and hard. He thought of everything she was. She was the world to him… The world, and so much more.
Yes
9. Do you have a crush on me? Am i cute? A 'crush?' what is that? No you're not cute. You are beautiful.
10. Would you kiss me?
He thought back to the Gamestation. Thought back to Cassandra.
Yes
11.Have we kissed? yes
12. Would you hug me? Already done so.
12. Physically, what stands out? Everything. Your smile. Your laugh. Is that physical? Probably not.
13. Emotionally, what stands out? The way you can find sympathy for anything and everything. The way you can make my life light up with every small smile you give me.
The Doctor didn't care that Rose would've surely guessed who he was cy now. He was on a roll. He needed to get some of this stuff out, and it seemed so much easier to do so on a screen rather than face to face.
14. Do you wish I was cooler? Nah.
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I? I am not going to answer that question.
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. Rosie-Posey… just to annoy you.
17. Am I loveable? You know you are.
18. How long have you known me? A year.
19. Describe me in one word. Everything-to-me (see – I made it one word)
20. What was your first impression? Not another stupid ape :P
21. Do you still think that way about me now? No. not at all.
22. What do you think my weakness is? You fall for my pout everytime – thought I don't blame you.
23. Do you think I'll get married? Yes. You'll find a nice man. With a nice house. And you'll love him and he'll love you like you deserve. Yes
24. What makes me happy? Seeing new things.
25. What makes me sad? Me… regenerating. I'm sorry.
26. What reminds you of me? Roses… It had to be said :P
27. If you could give me anything what would it be? myself
28. How well do you know me? More than you think
29. When's the last time you saw me? About 8 minutes and 52 seconds ago.
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? yes.
31. Have we ever had sex? …uhm. No.
32. Do u think we'll ever have sex? ROSE TYLER you appall me.
33. Do you miss me? Whenever you're not there to hold my hand.. Yes
34. Do you think i miss you? I have absolutely no clue.
The Doctor sighed as he finished, clicking the 'post' button.
It was only after doing so that he realised with a start, just what he'd done. His face froze in horror, and he frantically went back and tried to delete it… All to no avail.
He groaned in dismay, and pulled the power chord out of the monitor, much to the TARDIS' annoyance, and vowed never to go into cyberspace again.
It was 5 minutes later, as he was sitting on the grating, numbly rocking backwards and forwards trying to plan his excuse, when he heard a shriek come from the direction of Rose's room.
"And I think," he said to the TARDIS grimly, "Rose may've just read it."
A/N: and i think the Doctor may be right :D For Rose's reaction check back soon
Reviews are loved hugely.