Alaina sat at her desk staring at the worn letter in her hands. Four months ago when she found it on her kitchen table she wasn't sure that she would ever be the same again. Even now she wasn't truly over everything. That was why she had carried the note with her anywhere that she went. The note never left her side and a day didn't go by that she didn't read it at least once.

John had left without a word, besides the note sitting in Alaina's hands. She knew why he had up and left. She knew why he couldn't stay that extra day with her. But knowing didn't stop the aching void in her chest or the tears that would come from eyes while she was alone.

Lightly fingering the note Alaina let a few tears fall once more. John had meant so much to her and he had ended all form of relationships with her in a note. She laughed lightly and shook her head. After all that John had been put through because of Alaina, she was truly surprised that she had even gotten a letter.

Alaina dropped her head and went over his words in her head.

Al,

I know that this isn't how things are supposed to end. I never really thought that things would end at all but after being up almost all night I know that it has to. I'm sorry that I'm leaving you like this but I think it's all for the best. And please don't think that I am angry or hate you because nothing could be further from the truth. I love you as much now just as I did when I first walked into your hotel room and bothered you until you talked to me. I just need to get on with my life. It all started making sense to me sometime around when the sun started coming up. You have your husband and you are trying to make things work with him, and I don't think that anything could be better for you. I don't know how to do this in style otherwise I would. I just need some time, away, from you and me. We have been counting on each other for months and I don't know how life will be without you. All I know is that I have to try to do it on my own; just like you do. I hope that sometime in the future we can look at each other as friends once more. I hope that we can sit down and talk as old friends would. Until then I need my space from us to heal from everything that has happened. I can't be around you without wanting to hold you and kiss you, and it tears me up each and every time to know that I can't. I can't live life waiting on a woman who is taken; no matter how in love with you I am. You know me; I have to live life in the present and to the fullest. And I hope that now you are going to do the same in your new start with Joe. Know that my heart is staying with you and I hope that you are keeping mine with you. I wish you a good life and lots of happiness with Joe.

I will love you now and always.

Alaina closed the door to her office as she let the tears fall once more. She knew that she had let John go when she had begged him to understand about Joe. A romantic relationship with John was out of the question, and she knew that. What surprised her was John effectively ending their friendship. He was right she knew. They ran to each other for everything, and it needed to end at some point. But like John, she never truly thought that it would end.

John nervously walked the hall of the creative department at the head office in Connecticut. Simply knowing that he was in the same building and area as Alaina was sending his heart into overdrive. It had been four months since he last heard her voice and still at night when he laid down he could hear her soft humming, or the quiet mumbling that she would do when she was working or trying to write a new poem.

"Are you going to go see her?"

John turned and looked at his newest in ring rival. "What exactly are you talking about Orton?"

"Don't play dumb Cena. Are you going to see Alaina or not?" Randy rolled his eyes at his long time friend. He was tired of having John deny anything that had to do with Alaina. "You should you know," he said after John refused to respond to his question.

John shook his head. "I don't think that she would want to see me. I didn't do right by her in the end. She probably hates me."

Randy chuckled at how clueless John could truly be. "She doesn't hate you man, she is still totally in love with you no matter what the two of you want to say."

"And how exactly would you know that?"

"I've been keeping tabs on her," Randy stating simply, shrugging as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"What?"

"I've—been—keeping—tabs—on—her, moron," Randy said slowly, goading John into a reaction.

"Orton how have you been keeping tabs on her and why would you be?"

"I visit her whenever I'm up this way and I do it for you. Why else would I do it? You carry that woman with you everywhere you go no matter how much you want to deny it. I know that you want her to be safe and happy, so I make sure that she is whenever we're close enough for me to do a side visit."

"Orton I didn't—how can I—I don't know what to say," John finished finally, astounded that Randy had been doing this for months without saying a word.

"Don't John there's nothing to say. We have to watch each other's backs. Besides she is one awesome chick."

John nodded and smiled. "That she is Orton, that she is."

"So are you going to visit her or not?"

"I don't—"

"Because I'm going to say hi, and you are going to come with me whether or not you like it."

John laughed. "So then why even bother asking me?"

"So you felt like you had a choice," Randy said shrugging once more.

Alaina wiped her eyes and pulled out a compact mirror taking in her appearance. Everyone at work knew that Alaina was having a hard time with her personal life and let her have a few minutes every now and again to have a cry. That didn't mean though that she had to look disheveled when she was done.

A small knock at the door brought Alaina out of her thoughts and she finished straightening out her appearance as she called for whoever was outside the door to come in.

"Hey Ally," Randy said sticking his head in the door still not opening the door to reveal John on the other side.

Alaina rolled her eyes and laughed. "Hey to you too Randall."

"God I hate that name."

"Well I hate Ally so we're even," Alaina laughed as she walked to the door to open it. It was the same way that they greeted each other every time that they got to visit. Randy was a creature of habit if nothing else. "You coming in any time today or are you just going to stand there, just a head in my doorway."

Randy sighed and looked down at the floor. He could feel John shuffling his feet nervously beside him. The reunion would be awkward at best but that didn't mean that it wasn't necessary.

"I have another person with me, I didn't want to just barge in with them. Are you up for a little company?"

Alaina smiled. "Why Randall are you actually looking out for my feelings?" Alaina laughed when Randy rolled his eyes. "Come on in and bring in whoever else you have with you."

Randy nodded and opened the door nearly shoving John into the doorway. He sighed when he saw John smile sheepishly and tears come automatically to Alaina's eyes. The two loved each other even if the timing wasn't right for the two of them.

"I'll leave you two to talk," Randy said quietly backing out of the door. His work was done, no need to stick around to see the emotional mess everything was about to become.

"Hey Al," John whispered not able to take his eyes off of her.

"Johnny boy," Alaina laughed slightly and threw herself into his arms. "Oh god Johnny boy I didn't think I would ever see you again."

John took a deep breath as his eyes naturally closed at the feel of Alaina in his arms and her scent filling her nostrils once more.

"How're ya' doing Al?" John asked breaking free from the hug. "You're looking good."

John let his eyes roam up and down her little body and she did indeed look good. It wasn't just something that he had decided to say. She seemed tanner and with her hair shorter, layered and long bangs swept off to the side of her face, John had to admit that she looked better than he had ever seen her.

"Thank you John, so do you," Alaina smiled and curtsied. "I'm doing pretty good, what about you? We haven't talked since that night. You left before I could talk to you anymore."

John nodded and looked at the floor. He had no other choice to walk out before he got sucked in too deep and was totally broken; but that didn't stop the large amount of guilt that had been building up inside of him.

"About that, I'm sorry I left the way I did. I should have given you a chance to talk to me fully about everything. I don't know why I did it that way. It's just—I saw you crying and lying there next to me and I just—I snapped. I couldn't take seeing you hurt and confused. I was so confused too. I needed to do something."

Alaina held up her hand. "You don't need to explain John, I got it then, and I get it now. You did the right thing. For both of us. How has life been treating you?"

"Good, I mean I still have my belt and I'm trying to work things out with Maria."

Alaina forced a smile and swallowed the jealousy that was making its way through her gut. "That's great, you really loved her. Well love if you two are trying to work it all out again."

John nodded. "She's a great girl and we fit together pretty well. You made me realize that I have to fix a lot of things with me, and I figured what better way to start then with that."

Alaina nodded and stayed quiet as she stared at John. She smiled at John as she started to cry. There was so much that she wanted to say to John and couldn't manage to get any of it out.

"It isn't supposed to be this hard is it?" Alaina finally asked John after what felt like an eternity of silence. "We've shared everything with each other so why now is it that we can't have a real conversation?"

"I don't really know Al baby. I mean is there a certain way to deal with this? Is there a right way to go about talking to each other again? There's so much to say and I just—I don't know what to say," John looked at Alaina's tear streaked face and looked away; around her little office trying to find something else to focus on that wouldn't break his spirit and send him crying as well.

What he found instead was a worn piece of paper sitting on Alaina's desk.

"Is that the—when I left?" He asked his eyes snapping back to Alaina searching for the truth.

Alaina nodded and wiped her eyes. "I take it everywhere with me, I don't really know why I do. Most people might get rid of the heartbreaking letters they get I just couldn't. It was the last piece of you that I had and I just couldn't let you go."

John felt tears fall from his eyes as he closed the small gap and hugged Alaina once more.

"I have missed you so much Alaina."

"I've missed you too John." Alaina hugged John close to her unwilling to let go until she felt John back up from her. "So Maria huh?"

"Yeah Maria, it just sort of happened. I started talking to her again, trying to make her see that nothing came before our relationship when I was with her and it brought back a lot of old feelings."

"How's it working out?"

"We're trying to do it a little better this time around so I'll see how things turn out. Can't ever plan too far in advance."

"Oh no, god forbid Mr. Cena here think ahead a week or two," Alaina said winking at him and heading back to her desk. "This seems fitting doesn't it?" She asked as she sat down in her chair. She laughed lightly at John's look of confusion. "This is where it started; this is where it winds up ending."

"Well if you put it that way then I guess that it is fitting," John agreed. Even though the very thought of things ending between him and Alaina sent pain through his chest John smiled and sat down in a chair studying Alaina.

He needed to know for himself that she was truly happy. He had to make sure that everything that she was saying and doing wasn't an act simply to keep him happy.

"How are you and Joe doing?" John finally asked after finding nothing in her face that would give her away one way or the other.

John noticed Alaina's smile falter slightly before she recovered and nodded her head forcing her smile to grow.

"It's been pretty tough for us both. It's not all lollipops and rainbows but we're working at it. Counseling and all that other stuff that I always said was a waste of time and money. I don't really know if it will all work or not but we're happy that we're at least trying."

"Are you really happy Al? I know that things with us right now are weird and strained and we don't know really know what we're doing but," John lowered his head and sighed. The regret at running out on Alaina was growing every moment that he sat there looking at Alaina and how happy she seemed to have John there with her. John looked and smiled. "I want you to be happy Al, honestly happy. Are you truly happy?"

Alaina sat back and looked at John. He seemed like the same person that had fought his way into her heart, and to the average person that was all that they would see. Only Alaina knew better than that. Lying behind his happy smile, and dancing eyes, there was a touch of sadness that hadn't healed. And she knew from what Randy had been telling her that John erred more on the side of caution than normal. Their time together had both changed them beyond words.

"It's a long way to happy for me but I'm trying to get there Johnny boy. How about you? Are you happy John?"

John smiled and nodded. "I'm getting there, slowly but surely."

"Good. With everything between us that happened, I just wanted to make sure that you—I didn't want to hurt you at all John."

John flew out of his chair and to Alaina's side as fresh tears starting falling from her eyes. It was not like Alaina to get overly emotional, especially in front of anyone else. Seeing John for the first time in months, and hearing him talk about his new relationship with Maria had affected Alaina more than she expected.

"Al you have nothing to be sorry for. Everything we went through hurt so much that at first I was so sure that it would destroy me but—I—oh Alaina I love you," John said pulling Alaina to him, kissing her, releasing everything that he had kept pent up for months.

Alaina gave a soft whimper against John's lips as she held onto his arms for support. John was everything that Alaina was missing in her life. His lips held the key to every emotion that her marriage counselor had criticized her for not having in her marriage. In John's arms there were no expectations of perfection or a vision of a superwoman. It was safe to be strong and fragile all at once. And as much as Alaina wanted to believe that the kiss was a kiss that was going to precede a long line of kisses, dates, and a wonderful relationship she could feel from John that it was the exact opposite. John was saying goodbye, and getting his closure.

Randy cleared his throat as he rocked on the balls of his feet. He hated having to interrupt the time between Alaina and John. He knew how badly the two of them needed closure and even more than that, each other. He had watched them fall into each other's arms and sighed. If he could keep them in the little protective bubble they seemed to build when they were on their own, nothing would make him happier. He had discovered months ago what had drawn John to Alaina. Randy had come to love Alaina as another sister while visiting her. It hurt him to have to be the one to bring Alaina and John back to reality and watch their hearts break once more.

"I don't want to break this up kids but the real world calls. We have a show to get to and things to do before we can get to the arena."

John looked toward the door and nodded at Randy. He was afraid that if he began to open his mouth the overwhelming emotions that were running through him would pour out with no means to stop it.

"I'll give you a couple more minutes," Randy said, once more leaving Alaina and John to themselves.

"What happens now?" Alaina whispered as she leaned against John. When she felt John shrug his shoulders beneath her she leaned her head against his shoulder and laughed slightly. "I would try to keep you here with me but you're a bit too large to hide under my desk and sneak out under my coat."

John stayed quiet and hugged her tighter to him. The only thing he knew for sure was that he and Alaina were finally going to part ways. There would be no more late night phone calls and hotel room sleepovers. He was learning to live without needing Alaina every step of the way; the want however, to have her there was just as strong as ever.

"You should go," Alaina said finally pushing John a bit, breaking the hug.

John stood and turned towards the door. So much wanted to be said that he couldn't say anything at all. The only way to leave with a bit of dignity was to leave without a word.

"Any regrets? Between us I mean?" Alaina asked John as he stopped at the door.

John nodded and turned around to look at Alaina smiling and crying at the same time. "I have one," he finally said trying to keep his voice from breaking or the tears from falling once more. "I should have made love to you that night."

Alaina cried and ran to John kissing and hugging him one last time. Alaina rubbed her finger over his lips wiping the smeared lipstick on his lips off the best she could.

"Johnny boy if we had met at a different time and I wasn't—if we could have—" Alaina sighed and looked around. "Would we have made it? I mean would it have been us together, as a couple?"

John smiled and nodded. "Forever and always, me and you, forever and always."

Alaina nodded and let John out of her arms. "Will we make it back—to being friends?"

"Yea, one day. I think we're already on our way to getting there. Goodbye Al." John rubbed Alaina's cheek with his thumb and kissed her forehead before turning and walking out the door.

Alaina smiled and waved as she watched John and Randy make their way to the elevators.

"Goodbye Johnny boy. I love you, forever and always," she whispered to herself, touching her still tingling lips.

Alaina sighed as John and Randy disappeared behind the elevator doors, and smiled and the people walking by her office before walking back to her desk and finishing her work.

Alright boys and girls there it is. The end of the story. I hope that you liked it and enjoyed every bit of it. I want to thank you for the reviews and the hits and putting me on alerts and everything else. You taking time out to read my little story and visit my little corner is truly an honor. I thank each and every one of you.

I'm toying with the idea of a sequel... if you'd like to see the return of John and Alaina sometime in the future holler at me and let me know.

Until then I'm out to go create more masterpieces ;-) As always read, enjoy and share the love you have for my story LOL ;)