If Alice was on her period…….grrr It's 1 a.m. and I'm bored….

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Happy?

One day in Wonderland, Alice got her period. This really hadn't been a problem before since, Alice was so thin but she started eating after entering wonderland and she got her period.

Alice was walking through the Skool and some card guards decided to mess with her. Of course, she got pissed.

"FUCKING BASTARDS!!!!! I HATE YOU!!" screamed Alice, so she started slicing the shit out of them and eventually using her bare hands. Then, the Cheshire cat appeared.

"Such rage suits you well. Use it in the future, it may come in handy." Said the cat.

"Cat, am I ugly?" said Alice in a sort of menacing way.

"Of course not, dear." Replied the cat calmly.

"Does this dress make me look fat? I'm ugly I know it. Your lying." Said Alice, even more menacingly.

Then Alice started crying.

"I HATE MY LIFE! It's so STUPID! NOBODY LOVES ME!" wailed Alice.

"What the hell is your problem?" Yelled the Cat.

Then Alice was clenching her sides screaming "OW CRAMPS!!!!!! CAT GO TO THE STORE AND GET ME SOME TAMPONS AND TYLENOL!!!!!...and maybe some chocolate."

So, the Cheshire cat went to the local Wal-Mart and went to the Feminine Hygiene section. There were so many it was hard to pick so he ended up getting Playtex. He grabbed some Tylenol and a 12 pack of Hershey's Chocolate and came back. Once he came back, Alice threw the tampon box at him and screamed.

"YOU BASTARD! YOU GOT PLAYTEX?! THAT'S MADE FOR GIRLS WITH HUGE PUSSIES!! I WANTED TAMPAX PEARL!!!!!! (a/n I agree)"

So, the Cheshire cat made a note. Once a month, for about a week, go into hiding.