Respect and Fear

Chapter 12: Paranoia

Robin was half concious as Starfire flew him to the tower. He hugged her the whole way.

Everything was a blur once they got to the tower. Raven had to use her powers to pry the boy off of her friend. He did not want to let go.

It seemed cruel to be pulled from the warmth to be sent onto the cold metal table he now laid on. He felt his clothes being cut off of him, before he felt a needle pinch him, bringing him into unconciousness.

Whispers.

Robin slowly opened his eyes to see his friends huddled at the end of his bed. He strained to hear what they were saying.

"...his eye...heal...will be fine. In time...Slade...can't believe...on his back...it's awful."

His face flushed red.

Raven looked to the bed, feeling Robin's presence awaken.

"He's awake", she told her friends.

They all turned in unison, smiling warmly.

"Robin!" Starfire flew over, not able to contain herself, despite Raven's instructions to be easy with him, both physically and mentally. Raven was not sure of what Robin had endured while away, but sensed he had been through a great deal of abuse and severe mental stress.

Robin smiled weakly as the Tameranian flew beside him.

"Are you ok? How do you feal? We've missed you so much!"

"My face hurts", he grimaced.

"Try not to talk too much", Raven warned. "Your jaw was broken. But I managed to create a bond to hold the bones together until they heal naturally.

"Thanks", Robin mummbled tiredly, unconciously rubbing his sore jaw.

"We missed you man", Cyborg spoke, walking up to the bed.

Robin managed a weak smile. "Me too."

Raven could see that Robin was fighting to stay awake. "All right", she announced. "Let's give Robin time to rest."

Starfire's eye's lowered in dissapointment. She wanted to spend the whole day with him. "Ok", she mummbled. "Sleep well Robin. I'll be back when you awake", she promised, giving him a peck on the forehead.

"Bye Star", he spoke tiredly.

Everyone left, save for Raven, who examined the charts printed out from the machines hooked up to her friend.

"Raven", a small voice call out.

She looked over, seeing Robin with a nervous glint in his eyes.

"Yes Robin?"

"...Um...", he was almost afraid to ask. "Is there anything you can do...um...about my back?"

There was a disheartening silence.

"Im sorry Robin."

He could have choked on his grief right then, but did his best to hide it.

"It goes through too many layers of skin. And it's been too long."

He nodded in understanding. " 'Kay." He shifted his head back onto his pillow.

"It'll be ok", she assured him. "The important thing is that your back. Now everything can go back to the way it was", she explained, before walking out the door.

'Back to the way it was', he thought. Somehow, that didn't seem possible.

Hours later, Robin could be seen laying on the medical labs bed. Soft sheets and fluffy white pillows made him appear comfortable and at peace. However, his mind was a different mattter.

'Watch that tongue of your's, or I will cut it off.'

'You're mine. I can do whatever I want with you. I OWN YOU!'

'Why are you crying, crying won't make it any better.'

'Goodbye Robin. Say hello to your parents for me.'

'Come on little birdie. Let me see you fly.'

"Slade!" Robin gasped, as he awoke pale and drenched in sweat. All he could think of was Slade's body falling in the dark. And the disturbing fact that he never saw him after that. Never saw his body... where was it?

Panicking, he punched the alarm button next to his bed multiple times.

All the Titans responded to the urgent call of their friend, desperate to see what was the matter.

Raven walked in to see a frantic looking Robin.

"Slade!" Robin yelled immediately, confusing her, and everyone else who followed after.

"Where is he!? His body...did...did you find it?!"

"What?" Starfire voiced her confusion.

"Robin-", Raven tried to calm him.

"Please. You have to find him. I have to know for sure!"

"W..whoa... what...his body?", Beast boy questioned. "As in ...'dead'... body?!"

"Yes!" Robin answered, franticly. "Well...I mean...I didn't...I pushed him...off a building", he finished quietly.

Everyone was silent, as they took in the information. 'Slade was dead'. 'Robin killed Slade.'

"He was going to kill me!", Robin retorted, as he took in his friends stunned faces.

"We do not blame you Robin", Starfire explained. "We are just...surprised."

"Dude! This is great! Slade's gone!" Beastboy beamed, excitedly.

"No!", Robin argued. "I didn't see him. He could still be alive."

"After falling off a building?" Cyborg questioned. "I'd doubt that."

"Well I wouldn't! This is Slade we're talking about!", Robin fumed.

"Robin, you're getting yourself worked up", Raven warned. "If you don't stop yelling, I'll have to sedate you, before you rip your jaw apart again."

Robin groaned inwardly. He fought back his attempts to scream at them. They needed to find him.

He needed to find him.

"Where'd he fall?" Cyborg questioned.

"...", Robin tried to remember. He wasn't quite sure of where he'd been all this time. If he was smarter, he would have payed attention that one time Slade had let him out. But he had not exactly thought that he would be returning there again...boy had he been wrong.

"...Less than a mile from Cybertronics...Maybe an old hospital or something...a warehouse? ... I don't remember", he sighed in defeat.

"Start a two mile radius from Cybertronics, working outwards", Raven ordered. " Beastboy, you check the sewers. Starfire, check nearby hospitals, if he was picked up, I'm sure he'd wind up there. I'll take the streets...Cyborg, you stay here with Robin."

"You got it."

Robin felt relieved that they were going to look for the madman. But not going with them was more than a little disturbing. When it came to Slade, he always felt some kind of connection. Almost like he could sense were the man was. Perhaps it was because they thought alike. Also, none of his team ever seemed to fully understand what Slade was capable of.

"How you feelin'?" Cyborg's voice interrupted Robin's thoughts.

"...fine", Robin answered awkwardly.

"I still can't believe you're back", Cyborg smiled as he sat down next to Robin's bed.

Robin smiled sheepishly. It was kind of weird being around his friends again. His only company had been Slade for...How long had it been?

"Don't worry, they'll be back before you know it. And if he is-

"Cyborg", Robin interrupted.

"Hmm?"

"How long have I been gone?"

There was a moment of silence before Cyborg answered. "Four months."

'Four months', Robin thought. 'That was it?'

"We were beginning to think we'd never see you again."

"...same here."

Cyborg was dying to know everything that happened to Robin while he was away. There were a million questions he had waiting to be answered... 'Where'd you stay? How'd he treat you? Did he make you steal again? Did he hurt you? Did he feed you?' ...But no. Robin wasn't ready. Just being back with his friends was probably enough to bring him into shock...

...So he made small talk, being careful of what he said and asked. Mostly he talked about what they'd been doing while Robin was away. Not that it mattered. Everything he said went in one ear and out the other. All Robin could think of was his other teammates that were out there. How could he have let them go alone? What if Slade was still alive?

'After I kill you, I'm gonna' kill all your little friends.'

Robin tried not to look too distracted from what Cyborg was saying. But the truth of the matter was, not one word registered until he saw he friends enter the room.

He sat up straight, waiting for their good news.

"You found him!?"

"..."

The looks on their faces said it all.

"There was no body Robin", Starfire answered softly.

Robin was speechless.

"I scanned the whole city. Beastboy tried to catch his scent... We even checked the hospitals and a couple Morgue's", Raven explained.

'They didn't find him.'

"He's there! He's somewhere. He has to be. He couldn't have gotten away. He can't even see!!."

They all looked a little confused.

"Why not?" A nearby Cyborg asked.

"Because I stabbed him in his GODDAM eye!"

That all looked stunned in response to Robin's brutal outburst. But before anyone could respond, he started yelling again.

"Go Look Again!... I'll look!", he threw his covers to the side. "I'm the only one that can find him. I'm the only one who can stop him!"

Cyborg and Raven where ready to stop him.

"You're not going anywhere man", Cyborg explained, restraining him.

"Let me go!" He shouted, trying to fight off his friend.

"Robin, you're going to hurt yourself", Raven warned.

"NO! I have to stop him. He'll kill you. He'll kill all of us!"

Raven was quick with the seringe, desperate to calm her friend who was in danger of upsetting his wounds.

"Hey, what are you.." Robin caught sight of the needle.

Cyborg held him tight, making sure Raven had an easy target.

"Cy! No...", the needle peirced his skin quickly.

Cyborg held him close as his energy left him. Robin could feel himself fading. 'Why were they doing this? Why wouldn't they listen to him? Why...', his thought's began to blur as he fell under and became a ragdoll in his friend's arms.

Crying

Someone was crying

...but who?

Robin walked toward the sound, until the ground he walked on was slick with blood.

"Why?" A pained voice called out.

"Huh?" Robin scanned his surroundings, searching for the owner of the voice.

He could see no one.

"Hello?" He took a step forward, tumbling over something.

"Ugh", he fell face down onto the wet ground.

"Wha-", he lifted his hands to his face, discovering he was covered in blood. Why was there so much blood?

"W..Why'd you shoot me?" an innocent voice asked.

Robin's mouth gaped open, seeing the boy he'd almost forgotten.

Those big brown eyes glowing with pain, fear and confusion. "Why?" he cried.

"...Because I told him to", a familiar voice appeared.

Slade's shadow casted over the two boys.

"No", Robin cried. "I...I didn't mean to! I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"

The boy's eyes were glazing over. He was dying.

Im sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

"Robin."

"Mmsorrry."

"Robin. Robin Wake up."

Robin was quickly welcomed back into reality, while Starfire shook him gently.

Wide eye's filled with grief greeted the Tameranian. "Star", a small voice spoke.

"You were having a nightmare", she spoke soothingly. "You kept saying sorry, over and over."

If Raven were there, she would have known better than to pry. But being naive and too curious for her own good she ofcourse asked.

"...sorry for what?"

"...I...", he tried to gather his thoughts, still caught halfway between the dream world and reality. "He...he made me...he tricked me. I didn't know", he babbled.

"There...there was a gun...", he tried to explain.

"Did you hurt someone?"

He nodded, trying to keep his tears from falling.

Deciding not to pry any further, she held his hand. "It's ok Robin. I know you would never knowingly hurt somebody. We all do. Whatever happened, I know it was not your fault."

He took her words to heart, desperate for any kind of affection. Soothing words directed at him, it felt nice. Odd, but nice.

The next day, everyone was in the medical bay. They decided to order a pizza and catch up. It was good for Robin, considering he felt somewhat like a stranger. But being around everyone and eating pizza brought back old memories and he started to feel like himself again.

"You need a hair cut man", Beastboy teased, noticing it was now much longer.

"No". Starfire argued. "I like it."

"He looks like he's ten!", Beastboy argued back, while everyone laughed.

Everything was going good, and Robin was finally starting to relax. Then...

The Alarm rung.

"Someone stay here with Robin", Raven ordered, starting to leave.

"Wait! ...what if it's him?!", Robin yelled desperately.

"It's not", she replied, looking at her pocket monitor and seeing an greyish looking monster walk through the streets.

"But... what if he shows up?"

Raven sighed. "We'll keep in contact, the entire time. ok?", she assured him, handing him a communicator.

Robin nodded, though still did not wanting them to leave.

Beastboy stayed behind to keep Robin company, or that's what Robin was told. Actually, he was told to keep Robin as calm as possible.

Beastboy sat down. Watching his leader stare at the comunicater like it would sprout legs any second.

They hardly spoke while the rest of their team were gone. Beastboy tried to chat, but Robin hardly acknowledged him. It was a very quiet twenty minutes until the rest of their team returned.

"Well that was easy", Cyborg smiled, walking back into the room.

Robin watched his team walk in all in one peice, safe and sound.

'It wasn't Slade.'

Robin was almost dissapointed.

He stayed in bed for the next couple days. Raven's orders.

That didn't stop him from trying to get out though. He couldn't help it. He was getting claustrophobic. But after the embarrasement of Cyborg carrying him back to his bed, he did not try to move again.

Robin was positive Raven was trying to kill him of boredom. He felt fine. The wound in his stomached was healed, and only hurt when he laughed...which was not often. And he had been able to open his jaw completely for the past two days.

Thankfully, after a thorough examination, she deemed him well enough to leave the medical bay. Though she told him to take it easy in the gym...

...he did not go easy.

He would not go easy until he saw Slade's cold dead body. He had to still be out there.

His nightmares were enought to keep him on edge.

He just couldn't relax. He had to be ready...always.

Whenever he went on patrol, he felt the man was there. Right behind him. Every breeze of wind was Slade's breath. Every little noise was Slade trying to sneak up on him.

He had trouble sleeping.

He had trouble staying awake.

He continued his duty like the good little hero everyone expected him to be. Though he felt less in control. Less of a leader, more of a follower. Who would want such a paranoid leader anyway? Someone who's busy trying to find something hiding in the shadows, when everyone else is taking down the criminal. Someone who's always looking behind him, when he should be looking infront.

Like Batman's obsession with the Joker, Slade had became Robin's obsession. So many night's thinking of what the man could be doing, where he was, where he would be next. He had been such a major part of Robin's life, that it was nearly impossible for him to comprehend that he was actually gone.

Was he gone?

He would never know for sure.

Until, perhaps...one day...should he return...

... But it would be when it was least expected.

The End