Caring is Creepy – Chapter I

Thump.

Dr House woke up in a start. Lifting up his heavy arm he rubbed his face clumsily and stared at the blurry figure in front of him.

"Why aren't you on your vacation?"

House twitched at the high pitched noise as the blurry figure started to take the shape of Cuddy standing in front of his desk. Dropping down his arm House gazed blankly around his office as he leant forward in his chair, instinctively slipping his other hand in his jeans pockets to check how many Vicodin he had left. He glanced up at Cuddy as she continued to glare at him, hands on hips.

"I have you a first-class ticket to Vancouver House, what the hell are you still doing here?!"

House slowly sat up in his chair as he stiffly moved his right leg forward as the pain began to shoot up his leg. "I realised Vancouver was in Canada."

"You were supposed to go on vacation House!" Cuddy continued to stare at House in disbelief. "You were supposed to find a bit of happiness or something. Do you know how much that ticket cost me?"

"I'll give you the chicken and throw in some beans with it too."

"House," Cuddy sighed "What are you doing here?"

House taped his fingers on the table as he blew his cheeks in and out and looked around the office. "I ran out of Vicodin at home so I came here to refill."

"You stole from the pharmacy?" Cuddy looked at him in utter disbelief.

"No, I keep a few bottles around the office like any normal drug addict would do."

"So you crashed here after a Vicodin-fuelled haze?" Cuddly asked in disappointment.

"The only holidaying I need!" House smiled.

Cuddy sighed then nodded to the file on his desk she had thrown down. "You've got a case. Go cure her."

"What are the symptoms?" House sat comfortably in his seat and joined his hands together.

"Lighting storm last night, though you probably wouldn't have noticed. 28-year old female stuck by lightning as she walked outside with an umbrella."

"Walking outside in the middle of a lighting storm with an umbrella? She's beyond hope." House pulled out his bottle of Vicodin from his pocket and popped one into his hand, swallowing it with a gulp. "But why do you need me? She's already been diagnosed. Act Of God."

Cuddy shook her head softly then folded her arms. "She was blinded."

"Huh," House feigned a look of fake curiosity. "I wonder why that happened? Maybe because she was stuck by an outrageous amount of electricity, hurtling from the sky?"

Cuddy smiled lightly. "Her occipital region's clean. In fact, her whole brain is free of damage or scaring. Same with her heart." Cuddy walked over to the door. "She's perfectly healthy, but she can't see."

"She's faking it." House glared at Cuddy as she opened the office door.

"Whatever you say House." Cuddy sighed then walked out the door, leaving House in his thoughts.

There was a strange noise in the background, some sort of rumbling or churning. House swivelled his chair around to stare out the window as the rain continued to tap on the glass. Glancing over at the chart on the table, House looked at it for a second then swerved back round and picked it up.

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Shifting his way through the bustling crowd of the ER House walked to the end of the large room where a curtain was drawn around one of the gurneys. Looking though his chart grudgingly House snapped it shut and waddled to the curtain and drew it open with his cane.

House froze in surprise.

Over the sleeping woman on the gurney was a man in a brown trench coat, holding some sort of buzzing blue light thing to the woman's head. As House drew the curtain over the man quickly turned the thing off and looked in surprise at House.

"Ah…" The man stumbled in surprise.

"What the hell are you doing to my patient?" House looked at the man as he continued to hold his cane up against the curtain.

"Just, routine…brain wave check. You're her doctor?" The man asked with a British accent as he stuffed a hand in his pocket and scratched his head. House dropped his cane and leaned on it, staring curiously at the man as he stared back at him.

"No, I just have a fetish for sick people. Who are you?"

"I'm the Doctor." The man replied coolly as he stuffed his other hand in his pocket.

"I thought I said I was the Doctor." House wadded forward slightly.

"No, that's my name. 'The Doctor'." The man smiled.

"What, people just call you 'the Doctor'?" House raised his eyebrow sceptically.

"Yup." The man smiled again.

"Right," House rolled his eyes. "You're going to stick out like a sore thumb in this place. What were you doing with my patient?"

"She can't see." The Doctor looked at him seriously.

"Wow! You can read a patient's chart." House waddled over to the bed and brought out his penlight. "You're almost as good as me!" House leaned over the sleeping woman and opened her eyelid, shining the light in.

"So," The Doctor continued as he stared to pace slightly. "What's your theory about getting blinded by lightning? The human body is an amazing thing but you guys can't handle spark from the toaster let alone a 500-mega joule charge hurtling straight for your umbrella. But it seems she can. A line of electricity from the ground to the sky and she was in the centre of – "

"Do you enjoy listening to the sound of your own voice?" House growled as he looked up from the patient.

"A bit." The Doctor replied weakly as he was cut down.

House grumbled and stood up straight. "Well, I've got serious doctor stuff to do with this patient, so you mind checking yourself into the psychiatric ward or wherever you belong?"

The Doctor looked at House sternly. "That woman got stuck by lightning and all she has to show for it is loss of sight. Don't you find that curious?"

"Not at all." House smiled.

The Doctor studied House intently when suddenly the curtain was drawn open again.

"House…" Cuddy looked over at the Doctor as he smiled at her. "Ah," She looked at him curiously. "Who are you?"

"I'm the Doctor." He pulled out his psychic paper and held it in front of Cuddy. "I was put on Miss Williams' case by one of her father's friends."

"Oh!" Cuddy stared at the blank paper. "Of course, Doctor. Your friend didn't ring to tell me. But I'm sorry, I've already put Dr House on the case." House smirked at the Doctor.

"Oh," The Doctor beamed as he shoved his hands into his pockets again. "I don't mind working with him."

House glared at the smiling Doctor and puffed out his cheeks in thought. "Ok then." He sharpened his gaze at the Doctor. "Let's round up the Ducklings!"

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NB: Why am I doing this? No idea. Fantastic! Anywho, if your wondering this is set after the most recent episode of House ("Fetal Position") and in between "Runaway Bride" and "Smith and Jones" for Dr Who, so the Doctor is alone.

But yeah, I knew this was going to happen some time. The Doctor and House are my favourite characters ever and they're so much alike, so I hope this is going to be good fun! Even though I don't think anyone's going to read this. Thus: if there's anyone out there, anyone at all: PLEASE REVIEW!!! Without reviews I'm just a stagnant piece of goo who clogs up arteries and eats. Seriously.